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Ironic Signs, take 2


A few weeks ago, I posted some ironic signs. Today's post is the second half of the signs that have accumulated in that folder on my trusty computer. Once again, I offer them with little or no commentary. Technically speaking, several are not of actual signs — they are pictures of packaging or of writing on vehicle.

Beef Chicken

Ironic Riverview

Ironic Telemarketers
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Five Short Jokes


This week's post is five short jokes that I hope will give you a little break for smiling and/or laughing. Here goes....

My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So, when an advertising company offered to put my father's business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my dad jumped at the chance.

A full year went by before he got a call that could be traced to those placards.

"Richard Larson, CPA?" the caller asked.

"That's right," my excited father answered. "May I help you?"

"Yes," the voice said. "One of your shopping carts is in my yard, and I want you to come and get it."

divider

One day, at the dry-cleaning shop of a local Air Force Base, a young airman described in great detail how he wanted his uniform cleaned and pressed. When he finished, the counter clerk asked, "Are you getting an award, or do you have an important military function to attend?"

"Nothing like that," the airman said. "I'm going home on leave, and my little brother is taking me to his second-grade class for show-and-tell."

divider

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Résumé Mucho, Take 2!


Curriculum vitae

Seven and a half years ago I did a post called Résumé Mucho. I know some people currently looking for work who might be advised to avoid some of the statements made in that post or today's. First off, you probably don't want to prepare it on a typewriter as shown in the picture on the right.

Part of today's job search is an eye-catching résumé (or C.V. — curriculum vitae in more modern parlance). A poorly written C.V. can ruin a person's chances of landing that desired position. Below you'll see some examples of statements that are not résumé enhancers! You will have to read some of them fairly closely to catch the faux pas — unfortunate wordings, definitely "oops!" admissions, misspellings, etc. The following is a list of some bloopers that have supposedly appeared on actual job candidates' résumés, job applications, and cover letters:

It's best for employers that I not work with people.

Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

I am very detail-oreinted.

My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.

Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume.

I am sicking and entry-level position.

If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.
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Ironic Signs


Last week's post was about irony. This week's post is the first installment of some great ironic signs that my readers have supplied for me. I offer these without commentary. Enjoy the ironies!

AcceptingResumes
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What is Irony?


Ironic Iron

A lot of people use the words irony and ironic when they actually mean sarcasm and sarcastic. Here's a short and possibly oversimplified explanation of the difference. Irony is what one experiences when the opposite of an expected situation or idea occurs. People don't need to go out of their way to experience an ironical situation or idea. Irony can occur naturally. Sarcasm can make use of irony to make an observation or remark about an idea, person or situation. Sarcasm is usually intended to express ridicule. Because of this, sarcasm tends to find more broad usage than irony. Ironically, irony has nothing to do with iron, as best as I can figure out.

That said, I must admit that I have a sarcastic bent that I have to keep in check. I love irony, though, and I love the humor of incongruities that don't belittle anyone. Today's post is a number of pictures of ironic situations, most of which seem to be unstaged.

House pets can be the source of much irony in our lives. Here are a couple for your dog lovers.

Antichewing Spray
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