ivman's blague

I received something a while back that I thought was well worth the read, especially as a coffee hound.

A Cup Of Coffee
- author unknown

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, and some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

After all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said, “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

“Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it’s just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and then began eyeing each other’s cups.

“Now consider this - life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not define nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.”

God brews the coffee, not the cups. Enjoy your coffee!

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything - they make the best of everything.

quotation…

“I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Philippians 4:11 (ESV)

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Rob

If your idea of a cuppa coffee is decaf with a little skim milk and sugar substitute, why bother?!

Tags: coffee, inspirational, points of view, society

Hey, where’s “global warming” when we need it?!? My wife and I were talking this morning about how ironic it is that the week after global warming was all over the news, the weather turns bitterly cold. I told her that I think it’s the Lord revealing His delightful sense of humor as He reminds us of who *really* controls the climate.

As many of us enjoy our current reprieve from the warming, I thought a little humor on winter weather would be in order.

TELLING THE WEATHER

To tell what the weather is like, put the dog outside. A few minutes later, go to your back door and look for the dog.

If the dog is wet, it’s probably raining. If the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.

If the dog’s fur looks like it’s been rubbed the wrong way, it’s probably windy.

If the dog has snow on his back, it’s probably snowing.

Of course, to be able to tell the weather whenever you want, you should leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect really harsh, life-threatening weather.

Sincerely,
The Cat

***
Random thoughts on winter…

It was so cold last winter that one basketball player was late for practice because he was out trying to jump start the reindeer.

You know winter has truly arrived when you neighbor returns your lawn mower and borrows your snow shovel.

It was really cold out there today - like a refrigerator. I know. I opened the front door and the little light went on.

What can I say? The cold weather you prayed for back in August is finally here.

You know it’s cold when the wind chill factor exceeds the speed limit.

You know it’s cold when you’re combing your hair and it breaks.

You know it’s cold when you set a pan of boiling water outside and it freezes so fast the ice is still warm.

Remember, if your car starts to skid on icy streets, turn your steering wheel in the direction of the skid and jump out the windows on the passenger side.

This is the time of the year when people start going to places where they pay $200 a day to experience the same kind of heat they were complaining about in August.

One nice thing about winter weather - it’s easy to find a picnic table.

When the highway department has been working all night spreading sand on the streets, it can mean one of two things - either the streets are icy or they are putting in a new beach for next year’s tourist season.

It was so cold last night that the candle froze, and we couldn’t blow it out.

It was so cold that when we were talking outside that our words froze, and we had to nuke them in the microwave just to see what we were saying to each other.

One nice things about living in the North - it snows only twice during the winter. Once for three months and once for two months.

The North *does* have a great snow removal system. It’s called August.

***
I’m currently in a grading vortex, but other than that, all’s well here.

quotation…

“None of us can bear everyone’s burden, but God has placed us where we can help bear someone’s burden.” - Dr. Drew Conley

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Rob Loach in Greenville SC

How does the person who drives the snowplow get to work?

Tags: dogs, global warming, weather

This is kind of an interesting twist on men vs. women. I want to make it clear that I didn’t write *any* of these things. I’m just proficient at “tidying up” things that others have sent me. I’m posting this one with a bit of fear and trembling since it’s more than just a little non-PC. I had my wife read it first, just to be sure that I’ve deleted all the very “meanest” things. Enjoy!

How dogs and men are alike…

Both keep moving, even when they are lost.

Both take up too much space on the bed.

Both have irrational fears about the vacuum cleaner.

Both are threatened by their own kind.

Both are color blind.

Neither understands what you see in cats.

Both want dominance.

The larger ones tend to drool.

The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

Both do the dishes by licking them clean.

Both chase cars.

How dogs are better than men…

Dogs don’t have problems expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when you are gone.

You can train a dog.

Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

When dogs play “fetch”, they don’t laugh at how you throw.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

Dogs understand it when some of their friends aren’t allowed to come inside.

Dogs don’t care if you’re not beautiful.

Dogs will not criticize you if the dinner is not perfect.

A dog will not blame you for not remembering something he never told you.

If you put on a little weight, dogs will like you just as well.

Dogs don’t care if you get old.

Dogs are not always bragging about how macho they are.

How dogs and women are alike…

Both can eat five pounds of chocolate in one sitting.

Neither understand football.

Both are good at pretending to listen to every word you say.

Neither believe that silence is golden.

Neither can balance a checkbook.

You can never tell what either of them is thinking.

How dogs are better than women…

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Dogs think your singing is great.

A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

Dogs don’t expect you to call when you are running late - the later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.

Dogs don’t shop.

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

Dogs never need to examine a relationship.

A dog’s parents never visit.

Dogs love long car trips.

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

Dogs don’t hate their bodies.

Dogs don’t cry.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

Dogs never expect gifts.

Dogs don’t worry about germs.

Dogs would rather have hamburger than lobster for dinner.

You never have to wait for a dog; they are ready to go out 24 hours a day.

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

***
Several have asked about the pictures at the top of the blog. The panorama is of Paris. If you look carefully you can see the Eiffel Tower in the distance a little right of the middle. The small picture under “About” in the gray panel on the right is the Great Wall. The two countries these pictures represent are big interests of mine.

FYI, the blog has links that will take you to the main pages on the ivman website.

If you’re browsing with Firefox, the RSS feed for the blog is in the address bar at the top. Otherwise, please add the blog to your favorites.

The past couple of days it’s been interesting to read email reactions to my decision to share my iv’s online only. The comments have been a mix of what I thought they’d be - “WAAAAAAAAA! Now I have to remember to do something other than click on an email! Bummer!” “I was surprised you hadn’t done this sooner!” “I’m sad, but I completely understand.” “Cool! I like RSS feeds and blogs better than email anyway!”

The funniest I received was, “So Mr. Loach, you’re both retro and hip! Retro enough to use Windows 98 at home, hip enough to use Thunderbird and have an RSS feed! :)”

I realize that possibly fewer people will end up reading my iv’s and updates, but this really is going to simplify my life - I won’t be doing anything extra since I was already posting the iv’s on the blog and in the archives. I just won’t have to deal with all the email hassle, which was *huge*!

I thank those of you who understand, and especially to those who are reading this right now! You have braved technology to get here!

Hope everyone had a great Bonza Bottler Day yesterday!

quotation…

With Super Bowl XLI in mind … “Football combines the two worst features of American life - violence and committee meetings.” - George Will

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Rob Loach in Greenville SC

Lord, make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

Tags: cats, dogs, men, women