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Posts from ‘May, 2013’

Chocolate Rules!

My students find out fairly early in a semester that I enjoy coffee and chocolate. Occasionally when I remind them that they are welcome to come by my office for help or just to chat, I tell them (semi-)jokingly that they don't even have to bring coffee or dark chocolate.

At final exam time earlier this month I updated my status on Facebook — "Rob Loach is *languishing* in his office right now, listening to almost 40 mp3s - French oral finals - and hoping some merciful person will drop by with a cup of coffee or some dark chocolate...." And within 10 minutes there was a knock on my door! One of my German students had shown up with both coffee and dark chocolate for me! And a few minutes later a former student showed up with dark chocolate! Neither of them had anything to gain, other than to see an old man smile. I claim that verse, "...You do not have, because you do not ask." (James 4:2 - ESV)

At this stage of life and health, I can allow myself to enjoy coffee and chocolate only in a limited fashion. If I overdo it, I suffer some unpleasant consequences. Therefore I drink more decaf than regular. And when I indulge in chocolate, I savor every morsel.

As I looked at my tag cloud in the sidebar of my blog, I realized that, though I've done nine posts on coffee, I have done only one post on chocolate. In my files I found a list of chocolate rules that I thought my readers would enjoy.

Chocolate Rules

The Rules of Chocolate

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
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Some Things You May Not Know about Americans


This next Monday is Memorial Day here in the good ole US of A. I thought I've post some fun facts about Americans that reported came originally from the Index of Harper's. The facts were collected over a period of time, and so some of the percentages may have changed since they were originally posted.

Facts about Americans

The average American spends 4.4 hours a day watching television; that is 1,595 hours per year.

The average American spends 17 minutes reading books each day; 27 minutes reading newspapers; and 14 minutes reading magazines.

There are almost 60 million pet cats in the U.S., and 53 million pet dogs.

21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.

Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.

40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.

3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations.

13% of us admit to occasionally doing our offspring's homework.

91% of us lie regularly.

27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.

29% admit they've intentionally stolen something from a store.

58% have called into work sick when we weren't.

10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.

90% believe in divine retribution.

45% believe in ghosts.

10% of us claim to have seen a ghost.

13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.

35% give to charity at least once a month.

69% eat the cake before the frosting.

When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.

85% of us will eat Spam this year.

70% of us drink orange juice daily.

22% of us skip lunch daily.

9% of us skip breakfast daily.

66% of us eat cereal regularly.

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It All Depends on Your Perspective

Staircase Perspective

My wife Becka sent me a link to The 50 Most Perfectly Timed Photos Ever (Not all of the pictures may be to your liking.) I'm wondering if it's not more a matter of camera angle than timing in at least some of those pictures. Many times things in our lives look a certain way because of how we're viewing them from our particular perspective, which may be faulty or limited.

Today's blog post is five stories which each highlight how one person's perspective makes things look quite different.

Two elderly sisters donated money to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to the Super Bowl! Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so.

"I think so, too," said Mabel. "Let's go!"

They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse. They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the first half. Then they enjoyed the halftime performance that followed.

Now it was time for the second half.... when the teams lined up for the second-half kickoff, Madge nudged her sister.

"I guess we can go home now, Mabel," she said. "This is where we came in."
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Look Out for Signs!

Readers have been keeping me supplied with signs of all sorts. Here are the ones that have accumulated since my last post of funny signs.

Here's one of those happy coincidences where two things are in perfect alignment to cause confusion.

Movie Conflict

Here are a couple of signs that were unfortunate mistakes made by the painters.

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Happy Belated Birthday, WWW!

Happy Birthday

Yesterday, April 30, 2013, was the 20th birthday of the World Wide Web's going public. Since my day to post is Wednesdays, my birthday wishes had to be belated. I once asked in a store if they sold boxes of belated birthday cards.... Anyway, we're glad the WWW is here. Otherwise, we wouldn't be reading this right now.

Here's a picture of the first website (You can click on the picture to go to the actual site.)

WWW 20 Years Old

It was certainly barebones compared to the graphics-rich content we're used to today. You can read about it on the main page of that site — http://info.cern.ch.

Today is the last day of final exams. This Friday afternoon is graduation at BJU, and then this weekend our son Mark will be graduating from Furman with his Master of Arts in School Leadership. We're proud of all his hard work that got him to this point, pretty much a course at a time evenings as a full-time teacher, husband, and dad. Having taken the same route myself, I know just how hard that is!

In honor of exams, I have a couple of jokes either about tests, intelligence, ... or the lack thereof.
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