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Posts from ‘August, 2015’

One-Liners Are Some of My Favorites


As I was looking through my files, I found a list of one-liners that were sent to me by a long-time reader who has now been in heaven for several years. Some I've seen and maybe even posted before, but there were quite a few in the list that were new to me. So, in memory of P.D., I post this list of one-liners.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.

The days of a digital watch are numbered.

Do not curse the darkness; check the warranty.

Today's subliminal message is

People who kill people give guns a bad name.

There is no future in time travel.

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.

Psychoceramics: the study of crackpots.

In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be identified and fired!

If you want to know the value of money, try to borrow some.

Put on your seat belts. I want to try something.

It's always darkest just before you step on the cat.

Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Are you illiterate? Write to us for a free book.

The buck doesn't even slow down here.

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

California does have its faults.

Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!

You have two choices for dinner; take it or leave it.

I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
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Are You Glad Summer Vacation Is Over?


For students and teachers, summer vacation is a reality of life. Students generally can't wait until summer vacation arrives, and yet part way through the summer many are eager for school to start again, for a variety of reasons. Teachers have mixed feelings about summer vacation. It's a welcome relief from the rigors and long hours of the school year. Yet many teachers need to find summer employment, just to make ends meet. Teachers therefore often are very happy to return to the classroom, especially if their summer job is not particularly enjoyable. And parents? They also have mixed thoughts about summer vacation. I'll leave it at that.

Last week's post was some of my favorite memes I've seen lately. I saved some for this week since they are related to summer vacation, mainly from the teacher's point of view. I'm not really sure if these "e-cards" are technically memes, but they're close enough since they involve a picture of some kind and verbiage. The series below starts with the fatigue at the end of the school year and ends with one of the "fun" aspects of each new school year. I hope you enjoy them ... especially you teachers.

May Relaxing Teacher
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Do You Like Memes?


Being on Facebook is a love—hate relationship for many of us. I love many of the things I can see and learn on Facebook, but there's no way in the world that I can keep up with all the news from all my Facebook "friends." And honestly, I hate some of the things I see on Facebook — things that range from disappointing to hurtful.

One thing that I absolutely do love, though, is some of the memes that people post. For those not familiar with what a "meme" (rhymes with dream) is, here's the definition from Wikipedia: "an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture." A "meme" can be an image or a video or even a clever hashtag, but one of the most common is a picture with a caption written across it. Sometimes the picture helps illustrate the caption. Other times the caption makes an ordinary picture funny or a funny picture even funnier.

I thought a fun blog post would be one with some of my favorite memes I've seen.

A lot of memes have been done using a picture of Willy Wonka. The look on his face makes whatever snarky caption is displayed all the snarkier. I especially like this one, in light of today's post:

Willy Wonka Meme

Meme makers often use easily recognizable pictures from movies, like the following one.
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