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A Little Christmas Cheer


picture of Christmas bells

Christmas has been on my mind all semester with play practices several times a week and then the daily performances for the past week and half. But I think I've done only one Christmas related blog post this year. So today I'm posting three Christmas jokes. At the end of the post, I'll share some of my reflections on A Christmas Carol.

As the little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open-mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped out, "Didn't you get my e-mail?!"

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4-year-old Bobby was asked to give the meal blessing before family Christmas dinner. All the family members bowed their heads in anticipation.

He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them, one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles.

Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, and even the Cool Whip.

Then he paused while everyone waited ... and waited ... and waited.

After a long silence, the little fellow finally looked up at his mother and said, "I can't finish the prayer. If I thank God for the green beans, He will know that I'm lying."

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A man went to his dentist because he felt something wrong in his mouth. After examining him, the dentist asked, "What have you been eating? That new upper plate I put in for you 6 months ago is eroding."

The man replied, "All I can think of is that, about 4 months ago, my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious — Hollandaise sauce. I liked it so much, that I now put it on everything."

"Well," said the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll have to make you a new plate out of chrome."

"Why chrome?" asked the patient.

"It's simple," said the dentist. "Everyone knows there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

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Our last performance of A Christmas Carol was Saturday afternoon — the 11th performance in 11 days. It was with mixed emotions for us all. We loved being a part of that amazing production and grew to love each other. I have no regrets for how much busier it made my life this semester. I learned so much and got to know some great students I would never have known otherwise. But I must admit that I am also happy to get back to a more normal life again. Stage life might seem glamorous, but it's a lot of hard work ... especially when you have to work around that pesky, already busy enough day job. I would do it all again in a heartbeat, but it's not something I want to do again any time soon. Does that make sense?

Here's a picture of my friend Phil and me in our one exchange in the play. He was Scrooge and I was the poulterer who sold him the turkey for the Cratchits.

picture of the poulterer and Scrooge

I had to grow my hair out for the play and was told not to have it too short when the school year began. So soon after the final performance Saturday afternoon, I got my first haircut since July.

picture of my fresh haircut

Ah! Normalcy restored!

quotation...

"The good old days weren't that good." - Jim Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses


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7 Comments on “A Little Christmas Cheer”

  1. #1 Theresa Beach
    on Dec 13th, 2010 at 8:04 am

    My family drove from Columbia for that last performance and it was wonderful! What a talented cast! I sensed the bond that had been made as I watched Ben Toler run off stage after his final line into the arms of a fellow actor for a long embrace. Thanks for your sacrifice. It was fun for all!

    Rob adds: Thank you for your kind remarks, Theresa. I wish I had seen you after the performance. This play was truly an unforgettable experience.

  2. #2 Ellen
    on Dec 13th, 2010 at 8:33 am

    Well, I’m glad to see that you now look like the Monsieur Loach that I remember. 🙂 Glad the play went well.

    Rob adds: Thanks, Ellen!

  3. #3 Miriam
    on Dec 13th, 2010 at 8:37 am

    As a language buff, I laughed at the “Subordinate Clauses” joke at the end, and then read it to a friend….who did not find it half as amusing as I did, but was amused at my amusement.

    I am glad there are a few others who have a punny sense of humor.

    Have a Merry Christmas, IVman! 🙂 Thanks for brightening our days throughout the year.

    Rob adds: LOL, Miriam! It’s interesting to see how some humor hits some people and leaves others unamused. Thank you for your wishes. May you have a Merry Christmas too. God bless us every one!

  4. #4 Janet
    on Dec 13th, 2010 at 8:52 am

    I once had a student in an English class who answered the question “Name the two types of clauses,” with “Santa” and “Mrs.” He didn’t do well on the test, but I put a smiley face on it anyway. 😀

    Rob adds: Love it! If you don’t know the answer, at least brighten the teacher’s day a little with a funny answer.

  5. #5 Carrie
    on Dec 13th, 2010 at 10:58 am

    Oh, I wish I could have seen the play! But I like how the “regular” Mr. Loach looks better. 🙂

    Rob adds: I wish you could have seen it too, Carrie. You would have loved it. Thanks for affirming my real “look.” 😉

  6. #6 Jewel
    on Dec 14th, 2010 at 8:06 am

    Loved the “hollandaise” joke! Oh my! Now, that is my kind of story….you know…the ones that make you groan and laugh at the same time? 🙂

    And I do like your “tidied” up look….and just in time for the holidays!

    Rob adds: Thanks, Jewel. I do too.

  7. #7 Lisa
    on Dec 15th, 2010 at 8:14 pm

    Here’s another one:

    “Dear Santa,
    I wish you’d bring me a fat bank account and a slim body – not the other way round as you unfortunately did last year.”

    Rob adds: Good one, Lisa.