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Accident Reports

picture of accident report form

Filling out forms ranks right up there on the list of things people hate to do. Accident insurance claim forms can be frustrating because they ask for a brief statement about how the accident happened. Attempting brevity can lead to some curiously-phrased explanations.

We were relieved not to hear of any serious accidents involving our students or faculty returning from Christmas break. Thanks to all who prayed for their safety.

Now, on to the humorous statements from actual accident reports....

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

I pulled off the road with smoke coming from under the hood. I realized the car was on fire, so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.

After an insurance customer collided with a cow, two of the questions and answers on the claim form were as follows:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo

On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.

I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.

The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again

I thought my window was down, but I found out it wasn't when I put my head through it.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree that I don't have.

I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.

Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.

The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.

I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Traveled by bus?

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.

I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.

When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.

No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.

The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.

The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

I was on my way to the doctor's office with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have the accident.

I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.


Please pray for Dr. Frank Garlock (father of Shelly Hamilton), Mrs. Sarah Bennett (sister of Dr. Bob Bell) and others, as well as for their families awaiting word. Dr. Garlock and the mission team are in Haiti right now and were in the area where the earthquake was the worst. Communications are almost impossible. He is scheduled to fly back to the US today, but his family has had no word from him since the quake.

I look forward to hearing your reactions and comments to the accident report statements.


"God is not threatened by developments like we see today." - Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

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5 Comments on “Accident Reports”

  1. #1 b.j.
    on Jan 14th, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    This is funny!

    As far as Haiti, and Dr. Garlock, can you keep us updated? or give a place for us to go for updates?

    There is a seminary and a couple Haitian pastors there that I am worried about, too, if you don’t mind also including them in your prayers.

  2. #2 Elizabeth
    on Jan 14th, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    I read this at work, and this morning my stomach hurt from trying not to laugh out loud. It reminded me of all the excuses I gave my dad for the numerous fender benders I caused throughout college. I’ve been a much more careful driver now that I’m paying for my own insuance and car repairs! When I was in college, I backed out of a spot and was hit by another driver. I claimed that she was going to fast, she claimed that I wasn’t watching; since neither vehicle was damaged we just let it go. Many years later, I was hanging out with my soon-to-be-husband and some of his friends. One of the women present told a story about how she was carefully driving down the road and some irresponsible student backed into her. That reminded me of my story, so I shared how someone had been flying down the road and then tried to pass all the responsibility. Suddenly we realized we were telling the same story! She was the student driving the other car, and we hadn’t recognized each other. It was an awkward moment.

    I’ve been praying for Dr. Garlock and Mrs. Bennett. Please keep us updated!

  3. #3 Rob
    on Jan 14th, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    I’ll reply to the two comments later. This is just to give an update. My wife heard on BBN that they have found the people we’ve been praying for, and they’re fine. Here’s the update posted on Majesty Music’s site:

    ****Thursday, January 14—Dr. Frank Garlock Update****
    Dr. Frank Garlock, Sarah Bennett and Pastor Dieupie Cherubin of Hosanna Baptist Church have been found and are fine. We will post more details later. Thank you all for praying. God is good.

    I would add that God would still be good, even if the outcome were different, but that’s another discussion. 🙂 Thanks to all who prayed. There are still many more who need our intercession.

  4. #4 Rob
    on Jan 15th, 2010 at 7:03 am

    @b.j. – Glad you enjoyed it. Hope you saw the update already.

    @Elizabeth – Bonjour! Sorry I didn’t put in some kind of disclaimer that you need to be sure are somewhere where you can LOL when reading this. Sorry also to hear about your experiences / mishaps. We had one fender bender when the kids were little which has resulted in an oft-repeated sentence in our family. The next time we got in the car, one child said, “Don’t have a wreck, Dad. It will take an hour.” I’ve tried to remember that admonition, and my wife and I say it to each other often.

  5. #5 Carrie
    on Jan 15th, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    To see they way many people drive, these excuses are not surprising . . . but still very funny. I love Elizabeth’s story! How embarrassing! And Mr. Loach — kids have such a practical way of thinking. Sometimes.

    .-= Carrie’s most recent blog post … Sly =-.