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Are There Risks in Marrying a Commoner?

picture of Prince William and Catherine Middleton

Are you among those who are all excited about the upcoming wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton this Friday? Will any of you American readers be getting up in the middle of the night to watch the TV coverage? I hope this couple will be much happier than Charles and Diana were. Becka has been following the preparations for the royal wedding fairly closely, but I have given it almost no attention at all. For those of you who, like me, need to get up to speed on this big wedding, you can check out the official website.

From everything I've seen, the royal family has no reason to be concerned over Kate's being a "commoner." After all, she's not a "coal miner's daughter" — she's a coal miner's great-granddaughter. I'm feel confident, though, that the wedding reception(s?) will be higher class than either of the two pictured below:

picture of redneck reception activities

picture of redneck reception facilities

Kate's parents run a successful mail order company that sells party supplies and decorations, so the various receptions for Will and Kate will be in better taste than the ones above!

One great thing about a redneck wedding is that there would be absolutely no issue if either the bride or the groom were a commoner. How can you tell if you are at a redneck wedding? Here's a helpful list:

It might be a redneck wedding…

…if the groom is wearing a bowling shirt

…if the bride’s hair is bigger than her veil

…if the bridesmaids have fringe on their skirts and vests

…if the wedding is delayed because the groom’s truck wouldn’t start

…if the bride’s father brings a shotgun to the wedding

…if the wedding march is played on dueling banjos

…if the friends of the groom TP the church

…if the decorations include any pink flamingos

…if the best man is wearing a baseball cap

…if the preacher has sideburns and wide lapels

…if they throw corn at the couple instead of rice

…if the groomsmen have Western boots and sequins on their shirts

…if the reception is held at the local Waffle House

…if the hors d’oeuvre include pork skins and bean dip

…if guests play pinball machines or shoot pool at the reception

…if the wedding gifts include hubcaps, ammunition, or IOU's

…if the couple plans to honeymoon in Branson, Missouri

…if the groom gives a "chaw" for wedding favors

…if the bride does too!

Here are some other elements of a redneck wedding. I found several styles of redneck wedding rings:

picture of redneck wedding rings

picture of redneck wedding rings

Your imagination is the only limit when it comes to the wedding cake:

picture of redneck wedding cake

You can't beat the toppers on this camouflage wedding cake.

picture of redneck wedding cake

Deer, deer!

If you have ever attended a redneck wedding, could you tell us about it?


"Reaction to Jesus is the central issue in all of life." — Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=

If you can live in Greenville, SC, without suffering from allergies, you can live anywhere in the world without suffering from allergies!

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12 Comments on “Are There Risks in Marrying a Commoner?”

  1. #1 Leslie
    on Apr 27th, 2011 at 8:02 am

    Not sure if this would be considered a redneck thing or not, but when my uncle got married we all received a duck calling thing (looks like a kazoo) when we entered the reception. Instead of clanking on our glass to have the bride and groom kiss we would all blow into the duck call. It was quite amusing to say the least!

  2. #2 Nancy
    on Apr 27th, 2011 at 8:30 am

    A number of years ago I attended a redneck wedding that moved along smoothly enough. They were pronounced husband and wife anyway, and what followed was the best part of the day for me. I wouldn’t have called it a recessional exactly, but the wedding party left the front of the church. Just when I expected the ushers to return to begin dismissing the guests row by row, the bride’s fathered jumped to his feet, beckoned the whole congregation with a huge sweep of his arm, and called out, “Let’s go. There’s food.” And “go” they did. That church emptied in no time at all. What can you say? Whee-haw!

  3. #3 vikki
    on Apr 27th, 2011 at 8:34 am

    The cake with the deer is amazing. I love it! … but not so much for a wedding cake.

  4. #4 Anna Faye
    on Apr 27th, 2011 at 9:11 am

    My dad has performed the ceremony for several couples who would fall into this category. In one tiny country church out in the sticks, the bride’s father wore a tuxedo t-shirt; and halfway through the ceremony, the town’s siren went off and half the men in the church bolted out because they were the volunteer firemen (which I’m not convinced wasn’t a ploy to avoid having to stay at the wedding in an un-air conditioned church in the summer). In another wedding, the bride’s dress was adorned with fringe, and she wore white cowboy boots and a white cowboy hat. The best man was a woman (wha???), and I believe the groom wore a black t-shirt and black cowboy hat. I don’t know anything about the first couple, but I know the second is still happily married – trucks, dogs, and all.

  5. #5 Brian B
    on Apr 27th, 2011 at 10:46 am

    The tire rings are… interesting.

    have you seen the Jabba the Hut wedding cake? what were they thinking?

  6. #6 Ray
    on Apr 27th, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    I can see in the second picture they downsized the wedding chapels in Las Vegas… room for one????

  7. #7 Carrie
    on Apr 27th, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    Not many people up here in Alaska have red necks, but one wedding we attended had Carhartts scattered throughout the crowd.

  8. #8 Marilyn
    on Apr 27th, 2011 at 11:01 pm

    My dh declares the statement re Greenville and allergies is not quite true. He lived there for 4.5 years but when we moved to Australia said he would “have to die to get better.” The allergy season was pretty fierce!

    Rob adds: That’s interesting, Marilyn. Maybe there are things growing there that he’s allergic to and didn’t know it because they don’t grow here. Cottonwood trees are native to Ohio and Michigan and drove me crazy in the spring. I was happy that they’re not native to South Carolina (and I hope no one imports them!). However, I still have problems with plants native to SC. I’ve known quite a few people who’ve started having problems with allergies after moving here to Greenville, never having had them before. Maybe it’s the same thing — plants not native to their home cause them problems here. Have any of the rest of you experienced this?

  9. #9 Bradley McKenzie
    on Apr 27th, 2011 at 11:07 pm

    That first couple was quite literally taking the plunge.

    My dad conducted a wedding for a fellow who had shoed horses for a living. The groom wore a white cowboy style tux and a big 10-gallon hat. The groomsmen had tuxes and cowboy hats. I can’t remember the color of the one, but one of them was sky blue. The girls wore maxi-length dresses like you would see in a Western movie. When it came time to kiss the bride, the groom took off his hat, wrapped his arm around his bride and held the hat between them and the wedding guests in the church. That was the longest kiss! My dad and I were the only ones that actually got to see them kissing. Dad was the pastor, and I was sitting at the piano.

  10. #10 vikki
    on Apr 28th, 2011 at 8:19 am

    I have a lot of allergies, the worst being giant ragweed. It drove me nuts from mid August to well into September when we lived in WI and IL with sneezing, runny nose, itchy watery eyes. Here in SC it doesn’t grow, so for the first 4 years, my allergies were barely noticeable. Now, however, my body has found a replacement in the form of Bradford pears and oak trees but it manifests itself with asthma and sinus infection instead of the nose and eyes like before. ~sigh~ BUT, it’s still not as bad as it was up north. That said, we’ve only been here for 6 years, so it could still get worse as my body continues to be bombed by various pollens.

  11. #11 Ray
    on Apr 29th, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    Does Kudzu have an allergy season? I’ve seen plenty of it in the outlaying areas in G’ville.

    We’re in the thick of pollen season in CT. When it gets to the peak, the driveway goes from black to greenish yellow. A year or two there were literally plumes of pollen coming off the neighbors white pines in the breeze. I thought we were under a terrorist chemical attack. I had never seen that before.

  12. #12 jess
    on May 13th, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    I am attending as the photographer a wedding next saturday… they have the deer cake planned and want to pose with guns and bow and arrows… they also have camo for their colors…