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Back to School Jokes


Back to school

With Labor Day this coming Monday, almost everyone who is going back to school is either in school already or getting ready to be. We find ourselves asking where the summer went! So here at the beginning of another school year, I am posting several school-related jokes that I have on file.

A student reported for his final exam which consisted of True/False questions.

He took his seat in the examination hall, stared at the test, and then in a bit of inspiration, took a quarter out of his pocket. He started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "True" for heads and "False" for tails.

Within 30 minutes he was all done, whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes of the exam period, the student frantically started flipping the coin again.

The moderator, concerned about what he was doing, stopped by his desk and asked if everything was ok.

"Oh yes, I'm fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago, but I'm going back through now and checking my answers!"

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Teacher to class: "Give me a sentence with a direct object."

Student: "Everybody thinks our teacher is beautiful."

Teacher: "Why, thank you. But what is the direct object?"

Student: "A good report card."

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A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."

The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus may have had long hair."

The dad replied, "Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?

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I normally stay away from political jokes on my blog, but I received one that I think my readers will find amusing, no matter where they fall on the political spectrum. Here's the joke about Walter and President Obama.

President Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids. After his talk he offers question time.

One bright-eyed little boy puts up his hand, and Mr. Obama asks him his name.

"Walter," responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Walter?"

"I have eight questions"

First, "Why did the USA bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?"

Second, "Why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it's actually gotten worse?"

Third, "Why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then you said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?"

Fourth, "Why are we lending money to Brazil to drill for oil, but America is not allowed to drill for oil?"

Fifth, "Why do you continue to cover up the Benghazi scandal?"

Sixth, "Why did you spy on your own U.S. citizens?"

Seventh, "Why did the IRS target Republicans?"

And lastly, "How could you justify the Bergdahl trade?"

Just then, the bell rings for recess.

The teacher informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Mr. Obama says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right — question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. Mr. Obama points him out and asks him his name.

"Steve," he responds.

"And what is your question, Steve?"

Actually, I have two questions.

First, "Why did the recess bell ring 40 minutes early?"

Second, "What happened to Walter?"

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Becka has a new blog post about another leg of our trip out west this summer.

I hope some of you readers will click on the picture below to learn more about FX — the Frontline Experience — at the WILDS this fall and to consider being part of it.

FX 2014

Counting Kindergarten, this will be my 59th school year! It just seems like what I should be doing at this time of year. In addition the new school year beginning, I had my first pumpkin spice latte yesterday at Starbucks. Let fall happen! I'm looking forward to meeting my new students a week from today. It promises to be an interesting school year, for a number of reasons.

quotation...

"Our whole mission on earth is to increase the number of tongues that praise God." — Drew Conley

=^..^=
Rob

Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets angry at my criticism, he is a mile away and barefoot.


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3 Comments on “Back to School Jokes”

  1. #1 Michael
    on Aug 27th, 2014 at 8:31 am

    I’m hopeful this year will be a good one as well. Counting K4 for me this will be my 35th year of school. Doesn’t seem like that long for sure.

  2. #2 Vikki
    on Aug 28th, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    59th year in school? You must have been awfully young when you started kindergarten. 🙂

  3. #3 Rob
    on Aug 28th, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    I *think* I’m counting it right. This is my 42nd year of teaching. Preceded by 4 years of undergrad work, preceded by K-12 = 13 years. 42 + 4 + 13 = 59, right? It seems like it’s one too high, but I’m not sure how else to reckon it. 🙂