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Beware the Ides of April


picture of sign

One occasionally hears "Beware the Ides of March!" but you rarely hear anything about the "Ides of April," and I don't quite know why not! (For those of you not living in the US, April 15th is "Tax Day" here in our country.) For you taxpaying Americans out there, I would like to graciously say that my tax forms went out in the mail this morning, with almost 15 hours to spare!

In honor of Tax Day I'm posting several tax-related items.

1040 EZiest TAX FORM
___________________

1. How much money did you make? $____________

2. Send it to us.

U.S. Gov't. Form 8765309

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There was a man who computed his taxes and discovered that he owed $3407. He packaged up his payment and included the following letter:

Dear IRS:

Enclosed are my tax return and payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.

Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 - feel free to apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. Or, since it's not an election year (phew!) I might suggest that you the apply the $22 to purchase a "1.5 inch Phillips head screw." (See attached article...HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips head screw.)

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,

A satisfied taxpayer

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Now for a totally different look at such things.

A tax assessor came one day to a poor pastor to determine the amount of taxes the pastor would have to pay. The following conversation took place:

"What property do you possess?" asked the assessor.

"I am a very wealthy man," replied the minister.

"List your possessions, please," the assessor instructed.

"First , I have everlasting life, see John 3:16.

"Second, I have a mansion in heaven, see John 14:2.

"Third, I have peace that passes understanding, see Philippians 4:7.

"Fourth, I have inexpressible joy, see 1 Peter 1:8.

"Fifth, I have divine love which never fails, see 1 Corinthians 13:8.

"Sixth, I have a faithful, precious wife, see Proverbs 31:10.

"Seventh, I have healthy, happy, obedient children, see Exodus 20:12.

"Eighth, I have true, loyal friends, see Proverbs 18:24.

"Ninth, I have songs in the night, see Psalms 42:8.

"Tenth, I have a Crown of Life, see James 1:12."

The tax assessor closed his book and said, "You are indeed a very rich man ... but your wealth is not subject to taxation."

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This is AACS competition week on campus, and traditionally Wednesday of that week is an official "day of rest." Since we were free today, we took a short trip up the road to Carl Sandburg's home in Flat Rock, NC, since they normally have baby goats by now. Here's a picture of Drew enjoying the two-day-old baby goats.

picture of Drew and baby goats

Did any of you cut it as close as I did on filing your taxes? I have to admit that one year a friend and I drove to the downtown post office in Detroit after 11:00 pm to get our taxes sent before the midnight filing deadline. We sat in a long line of cars of others who were handing their stamped envelopes to post office employees outside. So I did better this year than I have other years! 🙂

quotation...

"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to Congress." - anonymous in the year 1950

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

I'll end this post with a picture I received recently from a subscriber.

picture of Obama logic


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8 Comments on “Beware the Ides of April”

  1. #1 Michael
    on Apr 15th, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    Thanks for the article. However, if I recall correctly, the Ides of April fall on April 13. I’m not sure why that was (after all, these are Romans we are talking about and not Gauls).

  2. #2 Sarah Brown
    on Apr 15th, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    I mailed my tax thing yesterday. Last year I sent it on the 15th, I think. =)

    Did you get another cat? Your last post had 2 kitties; today’s post has 3!

    Thanks for providing humor on a regular basis – I can always use a laugh, especially at the end of Spring Semester! (I’m at Northland.)

  3. #3 Rob
    on Apr 15th, 2009 at 6:29 pm

    @Michael – I did not realize that each month officially has an “ides.” (I must admit to ignorance on Roman history.) I found this on Wikipedia: “Ides — thought to have originally been the day of the full moon. The Romans considered this an auspicious day in their calendar. The word ides comes from Latin, meaning “half division” (of a month).” What do you make of that? I was thinking of the Shakespearean warning, alluding to Julius Caesar’s having been assassinated on the Ides of March in 44 BC.

    @Sarah – Glad you easily cleared the deadline! 🙂 Sorry for the confusion on the sig line. I copied my old sig line from when we had three cats. I’ve corrected it in the blog post. Phew!

  4. #4 Sandrew
    on Apr 16th, 2009 at 5:54 am

    I LOVE the photo of darling Drew! I hope you’ve been having a grand time this week with him and his family.

  5. #5 Michael
    on Apr 16th, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    I can verify that the “Ides” of each month varies depending on the month. My understanding is that the Romans didn’t name each day of the week like we do but instead named certain days within each month and then reckoned the other days based on these guidepost days. For example “3 days before Ides”.

    My wife and I filed our taxes this past weekend. We have some friends who did theirs very early on so they could get their refund as soon as possible. I suppose there’s wisdom in that. But, I can totally see why if you have to pay anything, especially a large amount, you would want to wait until the last minute so that you can have more of your own money invested before you have to pay and to allow a little more time for inflation to take place.

  6. #6 Rhonda
    on Apr 16th, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    Some of us had to work yesterday – judging! But since you have your grandson here, I won’t begrudge your day away. 🙂

  7. #7 Carrie
    on Apr 21st, 2009 at 10:44 am

    My husband does our taxes as soon as he has all the form – usually in January. That’s my man! But when I was single, it was done in April. :o) I love the goats!!

  8. #8 Rob
    on Apr 21st, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    @Sandrew – Glad you enjoyed the picture of Drew. We all had a great time together. One week absolutely evaporated in what seemed like only a couple of days.

    @Michael – That’s interesting. I’ve scouted around a little and find varying renditions of the ides. It seems as if the Roman calendar was lunar and so things changed. As far as the taxes are concerned, mine usually come out pretty close – my refund from the state just about equals what I owe on the federal. I should make myself do them early so that I have the refund in my account when it comes time to pay the federal on April 14th or 15th. 😉 Maybe next year….

    @Rhonda – Thanks for understanding my plight. Duty called when it came to spending the day as we did.

    @Carrie – Sigh! I need to flail myself or something to make myself do our taxes earlier. Every year I say I’m going to do that next year, but then next year comes, and….