- ivman's blague - http://blog.ivman.com -

Beware the Ides of April

picture of sign

One occasionally hears "Beware the Ides of March!" but you rarely hear anything about the "Ides of April," and I don't quite know why not! (For those of you not living in the US, April 15th is "Tax Day" here in our country.) For you taxpaying Americans out there, I would like to graciously say that my tax forms went out in the mail this morning, with almost 15 hours to spare!

In honor of Tax Day I'm posting several tax-related items.

1040 EZiest TAX FORM
___________________

1. How much money did you make? $____________

2. Send it to us.

U.S. Gov't. Form 8765309

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There was a man who computed his taxes and discovered that he owed $3407. He packaged up his payment and included the following letter:

Dear IRS:

Enclosed are my tax return and payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.

Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 - feel free to apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. Or, since it's not an election year (phew!) I might suggest that you the apply the $22 to purchase a "1.5 inch Phillips head screw." (See attached article...HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips head screw.)

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,

A satisfied taxpayer

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Now for a totally different look at such things.

A tax assessor came one day to a poor pastor to determine the amount of taxes the pastor would have to pay. The following conversation took place:

"What property do you possess?" asked the assessor.

"I am a very wealthy man," replied the minister.

"List your possessions, please," the assessor instructed.

"First , I have everlasting life, see John 3:16.

"Second, I have a mansion in heaven, see John 14:2.

"Third, I have peace that passes understanding, see Philippians 4:7.

"Fourth, I have inexpressible joy, see 1 Peter 1:8.

"Fifth, I have divine love which never fails, see 1 Corinthians 13:8.

"Sixth, I have a faithful, precious wife, see Proverbs 31:10.

"Seventh, I have healthy, happy, obedient children, see Exodus 20:12.

"Eighth, I have true, loyal friends, see Proverbs 18:24.

"Ninth, I have songs in the night, see Psalms 42:8.

"Tenth, I have a Crown of Life, see James 1:12."

The tax assessor closed his book and said, "You are indeed a very rich man ... but your wealth is not subject to taxation."

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This is AACS competition week on campus, and traditionally Wednesday of that week is an official "day of rest." Since we were free today, we took a short trip up the road to Carl Sandburg's home [1] in Flat Rock, NC, since they normally have baby goats by now. Here's a picture of Drew enjoying the two-day-old baby goats.

picture of Drew and baby goats

Did any of you cut it as close as I did on filing your taxes? I have to admit that one year a friend and I drove to the downtown post office in Detroit after 11:00 pm to get our taxes sent before the midnight filing deadline. We sat in a long line of cars of others who were handing their stamped envelopes to post office employees outside. So I did better this year than I have other years! 🙂

quotation...

"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to Congress." - anonymous in the year 1950

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

I'll end this post with a picture I received recently from a subscriber.

picture of Obama logic