- ivman's blague - http://blog.ivman.com -

Test for Dementia

I'm getting to the age where "seniors" seem much younger than they used to! In fact, with the retirements and passing away of more and more of the "older faculty" here at BJU, a colleague and I were discussing the other day the fact that we are quickly becoming the "older faculty" ourselves! In many ways, I don't feel like I'm as old as I am, but then in other ways, my body and mind remind me of my age, with no denial possible. When I went to my campus PO box today, I had even received the latest edition of TCS (Today's Christian Senior magazine). That *had* to be some kind of mistake!

I've heard that a good way to keep your mind active and to help ward off dementia is to do crossword puzzles. Almost every night before going to sleep I do either a crossword puzzle or a Sudoku puzzle. I can't really tell if it's doing any good, but ... uhhh ... what was I going to say next? Oh yeah, I recently received a test for dementia that came, as best as I can tell, from England. I some of you might want to see how you do on it.

Test for Dementia ... not just for SENIORS anymore! Give it a try. I hope it's not later than you think!

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of your wits.

The spaces below are so that you don't see the answers until you've thought of your answer yourself.

SCROLL SLOWLY to give yourself time to think of the answer before seeing it.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Answer: Bread. If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is too stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as Dick and Jane. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these???
If you said "glass," go on to Question 4..

4. It's twenty-five years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany). Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can land and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or "no man's land"?
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you picked any of the three options, you really should stop here. If you said, "You don't bury survivors," proceed to the next question.

5. No calculators for this one, please - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What is the name of the bus driver?
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Answer: Good grief! Don't you remember your own name?!? Reread the first line - the driver is YOU! Maybe you should consider retirement? From what I hear from retirees, retirement's not bad at all. Read on....

divider

And They Ask Why People Like Retirement!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who refuses to retire?
Answer: LUNATIC!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic, or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do retirees do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday, Nothing. Saturday and Sunday, they rest up from the week!

divider

Actually, I know many retirees who are anything but inactive, as joked about the Q&A above. Two retirees went with my wife and me to teach in Hainan last summer, and they're eager to do it again! We're all hoping we can go again in the summer 2008. If we ever get to retire, my wife and I would like to be like many retirees whose lives are full of service and ministry to others. I want retirement to allow me to serve the Lord in ways I am not able to currently with the restrictions that an academic calendar place upon you.

quotation...

"To God the past and the future are alike. His name is 'I am.'" - Dr. Ed Panosian, retired history professor from BJU who recently spoke in chapel on "The Providence of God in History"

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?