Today's post is a compilation of poorly worded or badly translated signs seen around the world. They are guaranteed to make you ask yourself, "Did I read that sign right?"
In an office:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below
Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons
In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out
In a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs
On a church door:
This is the gate of heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side door.)
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY - No ice cream.
In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday, please bring it back or further steps will be taken
In an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board
Outside a second-hand shop:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
Sign in Egyptian hotel:
If you require room service, please open door and shout, "Room service!"
English sign in a German cafe:
MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING
Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car
Notice in a farmer's field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales:
The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.
Outside a photographer's studio:
Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also
Seen at the side of a Sussex road:
Slow cattle crossing. No overtaking for the next 100 yrs.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
At a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, please give it to the guard on duty.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across the street from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
In a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking.
In the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
conditioner: Cooles and heates - If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
In a Vienna hotel:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
Outside a disco:
Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome
Sign warning of quicksand:
Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the district council.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs
Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
Due to increasing problems with letter louts and vandals, we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
Anyone leaving his garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
Sign on motorway garage:
Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
On a repair shop door:
We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work).
"How you treat God's people shows what you really think of God." — Drew Conley
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
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