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Did I Read that Sign Right?

Kutu Shampoo

Today's post is a compilation of poorly worded or badly translated signs seen around the world. They are guaranteed to make you ask yourself, "Did I read that sign right?"

In an office:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below

Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons

In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out

In a London department store:
Bargain basement upstairs

On a church door:
This is the gate of heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side door.)

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY - No ice cream.

In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday, please bring it back or further steps will be taken

In an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board

Outside a second-hand shop:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

Sign in Egyptian hotel:
If you require room service, please open door and shout, "Room service!"

English sign in a German cafe:

Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness

Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car

Notice in a farmer's field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales:
The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.

Outside a photographer's studio:
Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also

Seen at the side of a Sussex road:
Slow cattle crossing. No overtaking for the next 100 yrs.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.

At a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, please give it to the guard on duty.

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across the street from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.

In a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking.

In the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
conditioner: Cooles and heates - If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

In a Vienna hotel:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

Outside a disco:
Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome

Sign warning of quicksand:
Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the district council.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs

Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
Due to increasing problems with letter louts and vandals, we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order

Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
Anyone leaving his garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

Sign on motorway garage:
Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.

On a repair shop door:
We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work).


"How you treat God's people shows what you really think of God." — Drew Conley


The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

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3 Comments on “Did I Read that Sign Right?”

  1. #1 Mandy G.
    on Nov 13th, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    Wow, those made me laugh! It’s a good thing I was alone when I read them, or else I would have had to explain why I would suddenly (and randomly) start laughing! I especially liked the one about the farmer and the charging bull! Guess there’s no such thing as a free field-crossing.

    Rob adds:
    Mandy, you’re right — I should have included a warning that loud laughter could result.

  2. #2 A.H.
    on Nov 15th, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    M. Loach, these are hilarious! I have too many favorites to list.

    Rob adds:
    Glad you got a good laugh or two or twenty….

  3. #3 Marilyn
    on Nov 17th, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    Heeee! Snort! Gasp! <>

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