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Disturbing Headlines

picture of headline

After reading the title of this blog post, some may be asking how anyone can disturb a headline. Of course, it's the headlines that are disturbing us. Between natural disasters (earthquakes, snow storms, rock slides, etc.) and man-made disasters (you can supply your own...), many newspaper and magazine headlines are so disturbing right now that I thought I would try to cheer my readers up with some headlines that they could laugh about. The humor in some of the headlines below results from nouns being mistaken as verbs, and vice versa. In others it comes from misplaced modifiers or just unfortunate wordings.

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead (With that being old news, something more up-to-date would be Obama Wins on Health Care, But More Lies Ahead)

Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years

Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin

Autos Killing 110 a Day — Let's Resolve to Do Better

American Ships Head to Gulf

Flaming Toilet Seat Causes Evacuation at High School

After Detour to California Shuttle Returns to Earth

Defendant's Speech Ends in Long Sentence

Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan

Child's Death Ruins Couple's Holiday

Alcohol Frequently Seen In Cases

Collegians are Turning to Vegetables

Obama's ad buys dwarf TV presence of McCain

Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests

Air Head Fired

Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84

Legislator Wants Tougher Death Penalty

Heat Wave Linked to Temperatures

Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder

Infertility Unlikely To Be Passed On

Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty

Teenage Girls Often Have Babies Fathered by Men

Man Jumps Off Bridge. Neither Jumper nor Body Found

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Putting Mattress On Floor Prevents Fall From Bed

Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung

Woman Improving After Fatal Crash


If you can't get enough of these, you can check out my prior blog posts on newspaper headlines by clicking on the tags headlines or newspapers in the tag cloud in the sidebar.

I'll end with a cartoon I found online concerning a recent object of headlines — Obamacare.

picture of Obamacare cartoon

Now that health care has officially "gone postal," I'm reminded of something I've heard said by many — with Obamacare we will end up with a system with the efficiency of the US Postal System and the compassion of the IRS. Can anyone name a government program that isn't losing money?! I don't know whether he accidentally slipped and let out some truth about the real objectives, but in an interview on Detroit's WJR News/Talk 760 radio talk show with host Paul W. Smith earlier this week Rep. John Dingell (D-MI) said, "it takes a long time to do the necessary administrative steps that have to be taken to put the legislation together to control the people." That statement will go almost unnoticed as the mainstream media seeks to try to help hide news items like that — don't look for that disturbing comment to become a disturbing headline!

What are your thoughts on Obamacare?


"Prayer is unfriendly to the flesh." - Dr. Tom Coleman

=^..^= =^..^=

Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.

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5 Comments on “Disturbing Headlines”

  1. #1 Michael
    on Mar 25th, 2010 at 7:59 am

    Obamacare. Well, first of all most of us who are opposed to the new plan already have good health insurance so our credibility is suspect I’m afraid. I do believe it’s a bad idea but we need to realize that it sounds bad for us who have health insurance to be against allowing others to get it.

    I think the bigger thing this brings out is the obsession we as Americans have with avoiding suffering, pain, and discomfort. It now appears that many believe that having health insurance is a right and not a privilege. The fact is no one can be denied health care if they are in an emergency situation. Yet, we demand that we have access to health insurance to pay for medications and treatments for health conditions that we have often brought on ourselves by our own foolish and irresponsible lifestyle choices. Again, in a democracy the power and responsibility of government rests on the people. When we choose to discard the responsibility, we must also be willing to give up the power.

  2. #2 Karen M.
    on Mar 25th, 2010 at 8:58 am

    These headlines did make me laugh. Then a thought came that whoever the writers were of these lines perhaps did not listen to their English teachers!

  3. #3 b.j.
    on Mar 25th, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    Well, I don’t have insurance, can’t afford it, and am VERY against what is going on here. So, don’t worry about speaking up, Michael. I don’t judge your comments based on whether you have insurance or not. If you can afford it, or have a good job that provides it, good for you! We need all the people we can get to speak up about this. Knowledgeable people, regardless of status, wealth, or whatever. Thanks!

    About government waste: Nothing has been made more real to me than that, recently! Between the post office and the census… For example: We keep receiving my brother’s mail, even though we live in a different town, and have different last names. (mail comes from his post office before getting to our carrier). He has a PO Box at the post office in his town, but the mail we keep receiving of his has his physical address (undeliverable) on it. So, I go to said post office and ask them if instead of delivering the mail to us, where we then have to track down my brother to give it to him, could they not just put his mail in his PO Box? (mind you, we are dealing with very small towns here.) The postmaster said “no, we have to send it to ___ (a large city about 3hours from here) where they have to forward it back to us so we can put it in the box.” I replied “you are already sending his mail out to us, why can’t you just stick it in the box instead?” He replied back that he has to do it that way, at which time I gave up!

    Census example: (my brother is working for the census, as are a couple friends, so I am getting this information first hand!)

    First, someone goes out and checks addresses, looking at all buildings on property to determine if people live there, double checking that the physical addresses are correct (which is a big job in this rural area which does not even have a 911 address system). Then, later (now), someone else goes out on his route, double checking physical addresses sometimes with GPS coordinates, and passes out envelopes of paperwork for people to fill out. Then, another person comes around and double checks those addresses again, and checks to be sure everyone received an envelope. Then, you have supervisors that review all that. Also, there are people stationed in various places in the county that have to sit there and wait for someone to show up with any questions about said envelope. I know two of these people, and they sit there everyday, getting paid to do absolutely nothing, not even some busy work, waiting for someone to show up. (which has yet to happen). Then, there is someone else who goes around to the little stores, etc. in the area, dropping off envelopes for those people who (heaven forbid) might not have received an envelope through all the other contacts. Now, all these people have to fill out time sheets and fax them in. There is space on these time sheets for each day, to be used weekly, but no. They have to turn in one time sheet for each day, individually! All these people are being paid well above minimum wage, plus reimbursement for mileage. And tons of paper are being wasted. (so much for the paper reduction act)

    Talk about a HUGE waste of money!

    Sorry this is so long. I feel better now. 🙂

  4. #4 Carrie
    on Mar 25th, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    I’ll withhold my (negative) comments on Obamacare. 🙂 Thanks for the laughs. Maybe Mr. Dingell’s comments will distract from Mr. Biden’s. Almost everything out of his mouth is disturbing or crass or scary or making room for his foot. Just for that reason, we’d better be praying for our president! Mr. Obama is scary, but at least he can control his mouth.

  5. #5 Rob
    on Mar 27th, 2010 at 8:07 am

    @Michael – Thanks for your thoughts on Obamacare. I agree with most of what you said. But I have a question for the social studies teacher — is America a democracy? I had always been taught that we are a representative republic. We the people vote for those whom we believe to be the best to represent us. We’ve seen this past week that our representatives have chosen not to vote for what the majority of
    Americans wanted — that they did not want the legislation that was being voted on. That was neither democratic, nor representative, I guess, even though the party doing that is ironically named the Democratic party. I guess that that’s like the German Democratic Republic and many other countries with “Democratic” in their name only. Just my thoughts back at you….

    @Karen – Thanks for your comment. The headlines are a testimonial to poor writing, and even poorer editing.

    @b.j. – Thanks for your thoughts. Glad you feel better. I agree that very much money is wasted on all sorts of things, similar to and different from what you’ve cited.

    @Carrie – Many up in D.C. are scary. I’m glad to belong to the One who is truly in control (which, by the way, He hasn’t lost.)