After reading the title of this blog post, some may be asking how anyone can disturb a headline. Of course, it's the headlines that are disturbing us. Between natural disasters (earthquakes, snow storms, rock slides, etc.) and man-made disasters (you can supply your own...), many newspaper and magazine headlines are so disturbing right now that I thought I would try to cheer my readers up with some headlines that they could laugh about. The humor in some of the headlines below results from nouns being mistaken as verbs, and vice versa. In others it comes from misplaced modifiers or just unfortunate wordings.
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead (With that being old news, something more up-to-date would be Obama Wins on Health Care, But More Lies Ahead)
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
Autos Killing 110 a Day — Let's Resolve to Do Better
American Ships Head to Gulf
Flaming Toilet Seat Causes Evacuation at High School
After Detour to California Shuttle Returns to Earth
Defendant's Speech Ends in Long Sentence
Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
Child's Death Ruins Couple's Holiday
Alcohol Frequently Seen In Cases
Collegians are Turning to Vegetables
Obama's ad buys dwarf TV presence of McCain
Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests
Air Head Fired
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84
Legislator Wants Tougher Death Penalty
Heat Wave Linked to Temperatures
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder
Infertility Unlikely To Be Passed On
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty
Teenage Girls Often Have Babies Fathered by Men
Man Jumps Off Bridge. Neither Jumper nor Body Found
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Putting Mattress On Floor Prevents Fall From Bed
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Woman Improving After Fatal Crash
I'll end with a cartoon I found online concerning a recent object of headlines — Obamacare .
Now that health care has officially "gone postal," I'm reminded of something I've heard said by many — with Obamacare we will end up with a system with the efficiency of the US Postal System and the compassion of the IRS. Can anyone name a government program that isn't losing money?! I don't know whether he accidentally slipped and let out some truth about the real objectives, but in an interview  on Detroit's WJR News/Talk 760 radio talk show with host Paul W. Smith  earlier this week Rep. John Dingell (D-MI) said, "it takes a long time to do the necessary administrative steps that have to be taken to put the legislation together to control the people." That statement will go almost unnoticed as the mainstream media seeks to try to help hide news items like that — don't look for that disturbing comment to become a disturbing headline!
What are your thoughts on Obamacare?
"Prayer is unfriendly to the flesh." - Dr. Tom Coleman
Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.