Since Valentine's Day is next week, I thought I'd do a post with some different aspects on how men and women see things differently.
On Monday of this week, both my second semester French students and second semester German students had a test that included the names of items of clothing and of colors. I enjoyed sharing with them a picture I had seen a while back on how women and men perceive colors differently. I don't endorse everything on the site this came from, but this one was worth sharing.
I also saw another picture that brought a smile to my face.
Now on to three jokes that highlight how males and females don't always see eye to eye.
I have changed my system for labelling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."
However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.
If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say — "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food." My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful female French Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words "liver" and "cheese" together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."
The sturdy German Shepherd speaks up quickly and says "Ach, I love liver and cheese!"
"How childish!" said the poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."
She then turns to the equally sturdy English Bulldog. He blurts out, "I say, I LOATHE liver and cheese!"
"My, oh my!" says the poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the German Shepherd's sentence!"
She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"
The last of the three, tiny in stature, is none other than the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, and quickly turns to the two much larger dogs and says, "Liver alone! Cheese mine!"
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So the monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after one year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question — What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody — the princess, the ladies of the court, wise men, people on the street, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old hag in the nearby village — only she would know the answer. But the price would be high — the hag was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the old hag. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first — she wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified! She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden.
Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to his friend Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the old hag answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants is to have her own way, to be in charge of her own life.
Upon hearing her reply, everyone instantly knew that the old hag had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would indeed be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur total freedom.
What a wedding Gawain and the old hag had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old hag put her worst manners on display and generally made everyone extremely uncomfortable.
The honeymoon hour approached. Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen sat before him! The astounded Gawain asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd appeared as a old hag, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half the time, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.
Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night?
What a cruel question! Gawain pondered his predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old hag? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous old hag, but by night a beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many tender moments?
What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own choice.
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful *all* the time because he had respected her enough to let her decide for herself.
What is the moral of this story?
The moral of the story is...
...if a woman doesn't get her own way, things could get ugly!
I hope something in this post made you smile or even laugh.
"None of us sin because we think sin is going to make us miserable." — Drew Conley
All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the Queen of England.
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