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Doctor, Doctor!

picture of doctor with needle

Surgery was postponed. The first doctor who read the MRI thought Nora needed surgery. This morning the spine doctor wanted to try treating it with a steroid epidural and very strong pain meds first to give the ruptured disc the opportunity to heal on its own. She had the treatment this morning and is now resting. She may need to go back Monday for another treatment if this one was not enough. She was somewhat disappointed because she wanted the pain to be gone right away, but we are taking this step as from the Lord and praying that it might be enough without the surgery. Thanks so much for all your prayers and well wishes!

Today's post is a series of "doctor, doctor...." jokes.

Doctor, doctor, there's a lettuce leaf growing out my ear.
Hmmmm, I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Doctor, doctor, I have a strawberry growing out of my head.
Don't worry. I'll give you some cream to put on it.

Doctor, doctor, I can't stop singing the "Green, Green Grass of Home."
Sounds like you have Tom Jones syndrome.
Is it common?
It's not unusual.

Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
Why's that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.

Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out.
Can you give me something to keep it in?
Certainly — how about this little box?

Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me.
Next, please!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.
What's come over you?
Two cars and a bus!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon.
Sit there and don't stir.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a billiard ball.
Get back in the queue.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a deck of cards.
I'll deal with you later.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there's two of me.
Sorry. One at a time, please.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
I can't — I'm not allowed on the furniture.

Doctor, doctor, I've lost my memory.
When did it happen?
When did what happen?

Doctor, doctor, my little boy's swallowed a bullet. What shall I do?
Well, for a start, don't point him at me.

And then, where would doctors be without their "straightmen" — their receptionists?

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who says he has claustrophobia.
Tell him I'll try to squeeze him in.

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who says he's a kleptomaniac.
Tell him to take a seat.

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who says he has a very poor self-image.
Will you see him? Yes, put him down.

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who thinks he's invisible.
Tell him I can't see him right now.


We are so blessed to live in a time and place where such marvelous medical intervention is available to us!


"Lord, give us crystal clarity about why we are alive." - Drew Conley (in a prayer)

=^..^= =^..^=

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

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9 Comments on “Doctor, Doctor!”

  1. #1 Bill
    on Jul 30th, 2010 at 8:03 am

    Doctor, doctor, every time I drink hot chocolate I get a sharp pain in my eye.
    Next time take the spoon out of the mug….

    Rob adds: Oh my! Thanks, Bill.

  2. #2 Susan
    on Jul 30th, 2010 at 11:50 am

    Well, I’m so blessed she has waited. I know she’s looking for relief.

    I have 4 herniated discs, I do PT, epdidural injections and exercise.

    It’s always wise to WAIT!! This can resolve with time, especially with her being so young.

    Still praying in LA!!!

    Rob adds: Thanks, Susan. We are all waiting, though it’s hardest for Nora. I wish I were the one going through this instead of her. 🙁

  3. #3 Michael
    on Jul 30th, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    I’m sure the delay of the surgery was frustrating for your daughter, but back surgeries may relieve the pain but they never return the spine back to normal so if she can avoid surgery and still feel better, that would be great. It’s nice to let the body heal itself if that’s possible.

    Thanks for the doctor humor. Sometimes I wonder if doctors are interested in symptom relief or if they really are interested in healing what is wrong.

    Rob adds: Thanks, Michael. We had prayed for wisdom for the doctors. Your estimation of some doctors may well be right.

  4. #4 Peter
    on Jul 30th, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    Doctor, Doctor I’m having a recurring problem. Sometimes I think I’m a tepee and sometimes I think I’m a wigwam.
    You’re too tense.

    Rob adds: Peter, that one is so painful that it makes me makes me feel better to laugh at it.

  5. #5 Amanda
    on Jul 30th, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    My mom has disk problems, so I know how un-fun back problems are. (At least enough that I hope my knowledge remains second-hand.) My mom has been able to get by 8 years without surgery, so there’s hope! I’ll try to remember to pray for Nora. 🙂

    Rob adds: Thanks, Amanda. We hope that surgery won’t be necessary also. Time will tell.

  6. #6 Carrie
    on Jul 31st, 2010 at 11:30 am

    One at a time, please. 🙂 I like these!

    Rob adds: And you grew up in a medical-speaking home…. 😀

  7. #7 Jewel
    on Jul 31st, 2010 at 8:12 pm

    I pray that Nora is finding some relief from the pain with the injections, Rob. I’ve always followed a moderate path in dealing with my back issues, as has my doctor. I could have had surgery at different times, but elected not to because, in all honesty, I don’t know of anyone who has had surgery and really gotten better or no longer had any issues with their back. We continue to pray for Nora.

    Rob adds: Thanks for the advice from your personal experience. I’ll pass it on to Nora. Thanks especially for your prayers on her behalf.

  8. #8 Tammy
    on Aug 3rd, 2010 at 10:45 am

    Ouch on your daughter’s back pain.I am one of those who have the t shirt been there,done that. Hopefully the injections will work. I had them and unfortunately they did not work. I was older than your daughter and I think that is the key to healing. A younger back heals quicker and better. Also everyone could tell you how the injections worked or not worked but nobody knows the extent of each other’s injury.

    When the doctor was done with my surgery he told my husband the damage was far more then he thought and the surgery took longer as he had to scrape the spine and take away where it started to fuse. The worst part was after the scare tissue and the injections for that were way worse then the first set of injections.

    By the way 7 years after the surgery I am lots better. I was to the point of not walking straight, shooting pains all over or numbness.

    Rob adds: Thanks, Tammy. People have given us advice all the way from acupuncture and massage to total back replacement. (I’m exaggerating, but only slightly). We are praying for wisdom for Nora’s doctors who know the type and extent of Nora’s injury. You are right that every injury is different. So is every person’s pain threshold. Nora’s tolerance is pretty high, and she’s miserable. So we know it’s intense.

  9. #9 Jon Wadsworth
    on Aug 5th, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    Any word on how she’s doing since the epidural? Prayin’ for y’all Dad.

    Rob adds: It hasn’t really touched the pain. She will be going for her pre-op visit this coming Wednesday. We will know a lot more after that visit concerning the timing of things. Thanks for asking and praying, Jon. Good to hear from you.