- ivman's blague - http://blog.ivman.com -

Doctor, Doctor!

picture of doctor with needle

Surgery was postponed. The first doctor who read the MRI thought Nora needed surgery. This morning the spine doctor wanted to try treating it with a steroid epidural and very strong pain meds first to give the ruptured disc the opportunity to heal on its own. She had the treatment this morning and is now resting. She may need to go back Monday for another treatment if this one was not enough. She was somewhat disappointed because she wanted the pain to be gone right away, but we are taking this step as from the Lord and praying that it might be enough without the surgery. Thanks so much for all your prayers and well wishes!

Today's post is a series of "doctor, doctor...." jokes.

Doctor, doctor, there's a lettuce leaf growing out my ear.
Hmmmm, I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Doctor, doctor, I have a strawberry growing out of my head.
Don't worry. I'll give you some cream to put on it.

Doctor, doctor, I can't stop singing the "Green, Green Grass of Home."
Sounds like you have Tom Jones syndrome.
Is it common?
It's not unusual.

Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
Why's that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.

Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out.
Can you give me something to keep it in?
Certainly — how about this little box?

Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me.
Next, please!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.
What's come over you?
Two cars and a bus!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon.
Sit there and don't stir.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a billiard ball.
Get back in the queue.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a deck of cards.
I'll deal with you later.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there's two of me.
Sorry. One at a time, please.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
I can't — I'm not allowed on the furniture.

Doctor, doctor, I've lost my memory.
When did it happen?
When did what happen?

Doctor, doctor, my little boy's swallowed a bullet. What shall I do?
Well, for a start, don't point him at me.

And then, where would doctors be without their "straightmen" — their receptionists?

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who says he has claustrophobia.
Tell him I'll try to squeeze him in.

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who says he's a kleptomaniac.
Tell him to take a seat.

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who says he has a very poor self-image.
Will you see him? Yes, put him down.

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who thinks he's invisible.
Tell him I can't see him right now.

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We are so blessed to live in a time and place where such marvelous medical intervention is available to us!

quotation...

"Lord, give us crystal clarity about why we are alive." - Drew Conley (in a prayer)

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.