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Dog and Cat Haiku

picture of dog and fan

Do you enjoy the "dog days" of summer? Dogs have been on our minds for reasons other than the dog days of summer. We dog-sat for our daughter Nora while she visited our daughter Megan and her family in Detroit last week. Becka and I have been "cat people" for so long that we'd forgotten how much more work dogs are than cats. And puppies (like Nora's Kingston) require lots of attention and have boundless energy!

Since the new school year is on the verge of beginning, I decided to post something a tad more literary than usual. I'm far from being an expert on the Japanese poetry called haiku. I'm sure the haiku I'm posting today (not my own composition) is probably not the finest ever written, but at least the number of syllables per line follows the standard formula of 5-7-5.

Here's some dog haiku for your amusement:

Dog Haiku

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy — come to kill all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend — come to kill all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man — come to kill all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat — come to kill all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I hate my choke chain —
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!!

Dig under fence — why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

You may call them fleas,
But they are far more — I call
Them a vocation.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I
Have made a puddle

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

My wife commented recently that I hadn't posted any cat humor lately. So to balance out the dog haiku, here's some cat haiku.

Cat Haiku

Grace personified,
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner.

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

Blur of motion, then —
Silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a "term paper"?

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
Inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! The Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams.
Claws are not that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

The Big Ones snore now.
Every room is dark and cold.
Time for "Cup Hockey."

Several people have asked about what the symbols =^..^= =^..^= at the beginning of my signature line in each blog post stand for. It's our two cats — Adelaide and Clementine — each pictured by whiskers, ear, two eyes, ear, and whiskers.

This evening I downloaded a piano CD from mincymedia.com called A Place of Quiet Rest. Dave Mincy is offering all 11 tracks of the CD for free at least till the end of this week. I'm listening to it on my iPod, even as I type, and its quiet beauty is ministering to my heart.

Do you enjoy the dog days of summer? Any thoughts on the superiority of dogs or cats? 🙂


"We're all going to be sifted, and Satan would love to discourage us." - Dr. Chris Barney

=^..^= =^..^=

A dog will come when you call, but a cat will take a message and never get back to you.

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7 Comments on “Dog and Cat Haiku”

  1. #1 Jkopp
    on Aug 18th, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    Hahaha…I was just about to do a Haiku post on my blog. Small world. 🙂 Yours were better…Haha.

    .-= Jkopp’s most recent blog post … UNTAMED & RESTLESS: Chapter 1 =-.

  2. #2 Shannah
    on Aug 18th, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    Here’s another cat haiku:

    Fuzzy and distant
    Pondering locations of
    Forthcoming hairballs

    And that pretty much sums up my answer to the superiority question! I have one dog and two cats. My dog never scratches the furniture, messes in the house, throws up hairballs, gets on the counter, deliberately knocks things over, or eats ribbon or other random objects… I could go on and on. I’m very fond of my cats, but there is no doubt in my mind: Dogs rule!

  3. #3 Michael
    on Aug 19th, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    The answer for me is easy. I’m allergic to cats. So if I had to have a pet, I would get a dog, but I would keep it outside. Also, I would get a dog that was significant in size. In other words, I wouldn’t get one that could be confused with a rodent.

  4. #4 Sharon B.
    on Aug 19th, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    Thanks for the haiku, and thanks a million for the link to the free music. I downloaded the whole cd. I put it onto my USB travel drive. I found that when I have the drive plugged into the computer port, I can play the cd.

    I really enjoy good hymns, and it was a special treat to find free ones for the downloading. I’m visiting my grandparents in another state, and they really like the music too.

    Merci beaucoup, Monsieur Loach!

  5. #5 Rob
    on Aug 20th, 2009 at 6:12 am

    @Jkopp – Glad you liked the haiku, Josh.

    @Shannah – I liked your cat haiku a lot. So true. The best humor is usually the stuff that is true to life. I was relieved to learn from you at lunch today that you like your cats, in spite of their obnoxious ways. 🙂

    @Michael – I laughed at your reference to dogs that look like rodents — I’ve seen some of those! LOL! 😀

    @Sharon – Glad you like the haiku and the piano CD. Thanks for commenting, and merci pour le français!

  6. #6 Doodie
    on Aug 20th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Here are a few of my favorite haikus:

    The food in my bowl
    Is old, and more to the point
    Contains no tuna.

    Close the microwave
    Push some buttons and behold,
    It’s Jabba the Peep.

    Haikus are easy
    Sometimes they do not make sense

  7. #7 Rob
    on Aug 20th, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    @Doodie – Thanks! I like them a lot. Hope the “peeps” are the marshmallow kind. 🙂