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Don’t Mess with Seniors!

picture of old swinger

I never thought I'd be a "swinger" in my old age. But this past weekend, I was a swinger, of sorts. As I related in my last post, my son and I joined over 100 other men from our church to go to the Wilds for a men's retreat. It was a wonderful weekend, in spite of the rain. The messages we heard from Dr. Dick Stratton were super and the fellowship was great. Because of the rain and mud, Mark and I weren't really tempted to do the hike to the second falls, opting to play some indoor games instead.

In the afternoon, however, we enjoyed some outdoor activities in some light drizzle. We started off with the Land Trolley, then the Giant Swing, then 18 holes of miniature golf before heading inside for some Foosball and air hockey. Shortly after we went inside, the drizzle became the torrents that continued the rest of our time there and on our drive home after dinner.

Here are several pictures of us doing the Giant Swing. We were "suited up" first.

picture of me suited up

Here we are awaiting our ascent.

picture of us hanging

Here we are going up, with me holding on to my glasses.

picture of us going up

Here we are on that breathtaking initial drop.

picture of us dropping

I hope I'm never "too old" to enjoy that!

There are some perks to getting older...

Finally you can eat dinner at 4:00 if you want to.

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

Your eyes won't get too much worse.

Things you buy now won't wear out.

You can have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.

You know the words to elevator music and can sing along.

There's nothing left to learn the hard way

Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.


The other day I received a story that I knew I should include with this post. I don't know who wrote this — so the "my wife" is not my wife. 😀

The $2.99 Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.

"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."

"Then, I'll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.

"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously.

"Yes," stated the waitress.

"I'll take the special then," my wife said.

"How do you want your eggs?" the waitress asked.

"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home and baked a cake. Don't mess with seniors!


Yesterday my family celebrated my birthday, which is this week. My wife posted the recipe for the birthday dessert I requested. Mmm!!!

The whole family went together to buy me something I've wanted since our big road trip this summer — a GPS.

picture of a GPS

That's not really a picture of my GPS. I'm going to see if mine can get me to campus this morning.

For some things, I'm already considered a "senior," but for others I'm not. It's almost like having my learner's permit and waiting till I'm "old enough" to get my driver's license! Any thoughts on aging?


"The greatest gift you can give [your church] is to love God with all your heart." - Dick Stratton

=^..^= =^..^=

Frequent naps prevent old age, especially if taken while driving.

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12 Comments on “Don’t Mess with Seniors!”

  1. #1 b.j.
    on Sep 28th, 2009 at 9:21 am

    I sent that “frequent naps” comment to my brother. Rather fitting for him, but I’m sure he’ll get the humor in it.
    Happy birthday!

  2. #2 Brian Larson
    on Sep 28th, 2009 at 9:22 am

    another perk to being a senior is: “You can hide your own Easter Eggs.”

  3. #3 Vikki
    on Sep 28th, 2009 at 9:41 am

    Did you find your way to work OK or did it leave you about a half mile down the road?

    We love our GPS, but there have been a number of times it has “done us wrong”. It’s tried to send us through one subdivision to another and the two aren’t connected by any roads. Another time it had us turn right on a highway and down about a mile when the actual location was to turn left and drive about a mile. It’s also has told us we arrived when the actual location was about a half mile further down the road. Another interesting thing we found is that it will take us one route out of our subdivision, but when returning back it will take us a different route.

    GPS’s also doesn’t like Greenville because of all the turns and twists in the roads. So, at times it will take a longer route or tell you to turn from on street to another when in actuality the street is only changing name.

    We’ve learned to always have a set of written directions along also. But, all in all, we really love ours!

  4. #4 Michael
    on Sep 28th, 2009 at 9:41 am

    I don’t have a lot of experience with getting older and based on how you normally act, I don’t believe you do either. 🙂

    Excellent post about the $2.99 special. That’s the way to work the system.

    Enjoy your GPS. It’s great if you don’t know where you’re going or are unfamiliar with your surroundings, but here are two tips.

    1. If you have local knowledge of an area, trust that over the GPS to find the quickest route.

    2. Keep a road atlas handy in case you run into a detour.

  5. #5 Barbara H.
    on Sep 28th, 2009 at 10:24 am

    You look like you’re saluting in the third photo. 🙂

    A belated happy birthday to you!

    My husband has a GPS because he travels for his job, and it was nice to use on our trip to and from OK for Jason’s wedding — especially when looking for a mechanic when a bridesmaid’s car broke down. It’s not perfect, but it is a great help.

    .-= Barbara H.’s most recent blog post … The Official Wedding Photos =-.

  6. #6 Rob
    on Sep 28th, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    @b.j. – Was your brother amused? Thanks for the birthday greetings.

    @Brian – So is that why we can’t always find all the eggs we hide…?

    @Vikki – I made it to work fine with the assistance of the GPS. She did say, however, that the campus was ahead on the right, then a few feet later that it was ahead on the left. Hmm….

    @Michael – Thanks for the vote of confidence in my “youthfulness.” 🙂 Thanks, too, for the good advice about GPS usage. This summer, when we went to my aunt’s house in the St. Louis area, our daughter and son-in-law’s GPS got us very close to her house, but it didn’t know that what had formerly been a through-street had been closed off. I had to call my aunt and ask for further instructions, when we were actually mere minutes from her house. Glad you liked the story about the $2.99 breakfast special.

    @Barbara – I thought the same thing about my pose in that 3rd picture. That’s why I clarified that I was holding on to my glasses. As far as the accuracy of the GPS is concerned, you can see my comment to Michael right above this one. I’m so glad I got to see Jason and Mittu’s wedding pictures!

  7. #7 Marilyn Donnell
    on Sep 29th, 2009 at 2:28 am

    I’ve been seeing a new doctor lately. After my consultations are completed, as I cross back over the street to the carpark there is a “little old lady” who walks straight toward me (my reflection in the office windows on the opposite side). And I mean she really does look “old” – a lot older than me.

  8. #8 Heidi
    on Sep 29th, 2009 at 5:49 am

    I heard something hilarious on NPR’s Morning Edition.

    Here’s the actual transcript:

    September 28, 2009
    STEVE INSKEEP, host: Good morning. I’m Steve Inskeep.

    The first President Bush completed a parachute jump on his 85th birthday last summer, but he’ll have to keep going to catch up with Jane Bockstruck. She went skydiving on her 92nd birthday. The plane was at 13,000 feet when she tumbled out the door.

    Her jump instructor says she had perfect form. Now that it’s over, Bockstruck tells The Sentinel newspaper in Keene, New Hampshire that she does not remember jumping.


    In light of this blog post, I not only hope you are never too old to do it, but also that you’re never to old to remember that you did!!! 🙂

  9. #9 Rob
    on Sep 29th, 2009 at 5:54 am

    @Marilyn – That is so funny. Even looking at the picture of me suited up to go on the swing, my hair looks a lot grayer than it looks in the mirror.

    @Heidi – Thanks for sharing that! LOL!!! 😀

  10. #10 Tawnja Schaffner
    on Sep 30th, 2009 at 9:11 am

    Happy birthday!

  11. #11 Vikki
    on Sep 30th, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROB ! ! ! ! ! ! You’ll have to let us know how the apple dumplings turned out.

    Oh, and another good thing about getting old is that you can make the same new friends every day!

  12. #12 Rob
    on Oct 1st, 2009 at 7:05 am

    @Tawnja and Vikki – Thanks for the birthday greetings. The apple dumplings were superb!