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Excuses for Not Going to Work

Our daughter Nora and I are both taking two personal days at the end of this week to go to Detroit. It will be very nice to have company on the way up. As of now, we plan to leave at about 5:00 Wednesday afternoon and drive straight through. Ugh! That will give us most of the day Thursday up there. Aunt Nora can hardly wait to get her hands on her little nephew and she's not starting this trip as tired as Grampa is! Then Sunday morning bright and early, Becka, Nora, and I will leave to come back home. Our son Mark would love to be going with us, but he can't get away right now. He'll be holding down the fort here at home. He and Katie hope they can go up for a few days later this spring.

I normally don't just take time off like this during a semester, but I'm so pleased that things have worked out so that I am able to with our current situation. I found something in my files that seemed like an appropriate thing to post at this time. Some of the excuses in the list are not just lame, but also downright bizarre!

Excuses for not going to work...

I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet, so....

I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down here at the Food Giant.

Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Braves, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but ... now why did I call you?

I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I'm startled.

The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead!

I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

I lost my American Express card and I can't leave home without it.


personal updates...

Thanks for the many comments to the blog and the personal emails. We appreciate so much the kind expressions of love and concern. What a great bunch of family and friends we have been blessed with!

Many thanks to those who prayed for me as I drove back to Greenville yesterday. Before leaving Detroit, I just *had* to stop by the hospital to see Megan and Drew one last time. Leaving the hospital to begin my trip home was one of the hardest things to do - I just wanted to stay there! I haven't cried like that in quite a while! After that low spot in life, my trip back was actually phenomenal! The weather was perfect for driving and admiring the beautiful scenery. I stopped after about an hour and half to have a cup of coffee with my mom and my sister near where they each live in Ohio. It was nice to be able to see them, though it was for far too short a time, and to share some pictures and stories with them. All three of us are now grandparents! Yet another bond!

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to some of my favorite CD's as I drove along, singing along in praise to the Lord. It was a wonderful time with my Father. It's not often that one can have that much quiet time to spend with Him. When I arrived at home, I was exhausted physically and emotionally, but my spirit was refreshed.

It was very nice to have our cell phone along and to be able to call and hear from some family and friends as I rolled along. I must confess that I amused myself by mentally setting up some really bizarre situations. I thought to myself that I ought to turn on my blinker and roll along for miles and miles with it blinking. And one time when I stopped for gas, I thought about leaving the little door over the gas cap open when I took off, just to let the other motorists know there was a little old grandpa in my car. But then, there was something about doing those things on purpose that would have kinda taken the fun out of it! 😎

Megan is doing a lot better and will probably be able to go home tomorrow (Tuesday). Drew is doing well and seems to be stable. Megan and Jim hope that he will move soon into the "phase two" room. Their visits there would not be as restricted as they are in his current NICU room. Both yesterday and today, there was a period of a couple of hours where they and the other parents could not go see their preemies because of an emergency situation with another baby in the room.


"Every temptation depends on misrepresenting the truth." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=

Some dream of success, while others wake up and work hard for it.

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4 Comments on “Excuses for Not Going to Work”

  1. #1 Dr. K
    on Mar 12th, 2007 at 10:57 pm

    Glad to have you home my friend. We have been praying for you and thankful for the good news. A word of advice for your return trip, Grandpa …don’t forget your Geritol!

  2. #2 Zina
    on Mar 13th, 2007 at 2:55 am

    We are rejoicing with you! Praying also for your trip and all the future trips you will be making…no doubt much more often now!
    Tell Becka hello!

    In Him,

  3. #3 Bet
    on Mar 13th, 2007 at 4:30 am

    Glad to hear you’ve made it back safe and sound, Rob. Sounds like you’ve received a bundle of blessings over the last few days, including the new little bundle of a grandson! Congratulations. Still praying for you and your family.

  4. #4 Anna Faye
    on Mar 13th, 2007 at 8:11 am

    Talk about “instant vacations!” I can believe it was all too short. It’s amazing how even just watching newborns sleep can be so fascinating – truly. I’m sure that despite the exhaustion you’ll be raring to dash up there again. We’ll be checking your cell phone to see if you’ve been calling real estate agents in Michigan! Praying for you all and little ivdrew-m-o-u-s-e.