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Extra! Extra! Read All about It!


picture of news crier

For several years I have been hearing about the decline in newspaper circulation. But recently I have heard of newspaper publishers laying off employees or even deciding to publish online only. I know many people who love the newspapers and who read them regularly. But I also know more and more people who seek their news online, whether it be from the newspapers they've always read on paper or from other news outlets now available.

Recently I came across an e-mail I had received a long time ago that included some hilarious newspaper clippings. I thought now might be a good time to share them. I will pass them along with little or no comment – I'll count on you to comment on any of them that strike you funny. Some of the articles had to have been published on an extremely slow news day!

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

This correction hardly seems adequate....

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

picture of newspaper clipping

This final one makes me wonder why it took the man so long to notice the absence!

picture of newspaper clipping

Are you a newspaper reader? Do you trust newspapers in general or any one in particular?

divider

This is final exam week here on campus, with graduation this Saturday. I haven't been to Europe in 8 years, but lately Europe has been coming to us! Last week one of my former students who is from Germany and who majored in French here at BJU stopped by to see me while in town. This morning I was surprised to see a former student from England who is here for her sister's graduation. This Wednesday evening a German couple we don't know is arriving at our house. My office mate Phil and his wife are housing two people in the group and asked us to house this couple. They will be with us for a week and a half. My rusty German might have to come out of retirement — it's been 19 years since I last taught German!

This morning I read an excellent blog post by a missionary in Europe and left a comment. His blog is on blogspot.com and some Internet filtering where you are reading this may prevent you from going there. If you'd like to read the post, you can find it by clicking on the following link – Alcohol on the Mission Field.

quotation...

"I read no newspaper now but Ritchie's, and in that chiefly the advertisements, for they contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper." - Thomas Jefferson, Letter to Nathaniel Macon, January 12, 1819

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.


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11 Comments on “Extra! Extra! Read All about It!”

  1. #1 Ann
    on May 4th, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    I liked the one about the mailman. Several months ago, our landlord hired a resident manager for our mobile home park. The guy told me that he saw a car come into the park at about 4:30 every morning. He said, “He drives slowly down one side of the street and drives slowly up the other side. I can’t figure out what he is doing.”

    I said, “Melvin has been delivering our newspaper at 4:30 every morning for over 20 years!”

  2. #2 Susan Presley
    on May 4th, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    Made my day! Thanks!

  3. #3 Rob
    on May 4th, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    @Ann – That’s a good story. It sounds as if that new resident manager doesn’t do early morning very often. Melvin’s services may go undetected by many.

    @Sue – I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Bis zum nächsten Mal!

  4. #4 Wade
    on May 4th, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    Check this out from our own Greenville News:

    picture of Greenville News headlines

  5. #5 Rob
    on May 4th, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    @Wade – The two headlines in juxtaposition did not even strike me when I first saw them, but WOW! I was happy to post the picture from your e-mail for my readers.

    For the sake of those who don’t know our local news, a Greenville County Councilman named Tony Trout has just been found guilty of planting spyware on computers of others who work for Greenville County. So it’s not our “lake trout” who are asking damages because of the water level, even though the wording might sound a little fishy.

  6. #6 Heather Cameron
    on May 4th, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    Hilarious! I LOL’d several times
    🙂

  7. #7 Joel
    on May 4th, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    It’s hard to believe that you haven’t taught German since, well …. I still remember you tell us about your faux pas concerning essen and fressen. Hopefully you won’t have to “feed” these guests. Call me if you need help.

  8. #8 Rob
    on May 5th, 2009 at 7:03 am

    @Heather – I’m glad you got a good laugh from these.

    @Joel – Ja, the last year I taught German was the 1989-1990 school year. I had taught German for 16 years when I switched entirely to French. I can get along fine in German, actually, but I’m just not always secure that my grammar and word choice are “einwandfrei.” I assure you, I won’t do the essen/fressen thing, and I won’t thank the Lord for our Futter when I pray before meals. 😀 We’ve been assured that each of them possesses a great sense of humor. I’m sure that all will go well … I’m just a tad nervous, though.

  9. #9 Michael
    on May 5th, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    Newspaper headlines can be tricky to create. Often you have what you want to say, but you don’t have enough room to say it or you need more words to fill more space. It can get frustrating. Sometimes the results are unintentionally comical. Also, consider the fact that many of these papers are put together late at night or early in the morning so the people doing the work may not be at their best mentally.

    That being said, I think that it’s sad in a way that newspapers are going away. That’s a part of our history that’s disappearing. Additionally, newspapers are valuable historical resources. You can’t alter a printed newspaper like you can a web page. Will the electronic records of the future be all that reliable.

    That being said I thought the kids using the snowball in the robbery was a good idea. The weapon melts and there are no fingerprints left behind.

  10. #10 Carrie
    on May 5th, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for the link to that article. It was very instructive, but I was also thrilled to “catch up” with David. We attended school together and I greatly admired him.

  11. #11 Rob
    on May 6th, 2009 at 6:27 am

    @Michael – I know just how hard it must be to write headlines … trying to come up with suitable titles for my blog posts gives me that experience twice a week. Sometimes it is so easy and obvious, but other times not so. You want it to grab potential readers and not put them off. You want it to be descriptive without giving everything (especially punch lines) away. I am amazed, though, at how often the headlines in the Greenville News are punny.

    You’re right too about how easy it would be to manipulate electronic “history.” I’ve done that countless times on my blog as I make corrections, insertions, and deletions. Good point, too, about the efficacy of a snowball as a weapon. I’ll have to keep that in mind if I ever want to perpetrate a crime during one of our half hour snow sieges here in Greenville. 🙂

    @Carrie – Happy to have been of service. 😀 I see that several of my readers have posted comments to David’s post. I hope what he has to say will be of help to some struggling with this issue, or at least get them started on rethinking it.