ivman's blague rotating header image loading ... please wait....

Famous Last Words

We have no idea when we will die and what the last words from our mouths will be. That's one reason that I often tell the people that I love, "I love you." That may be the last thing they will ever hear me say. That's one way in which I would like to be remembered.

My dad died at the young age of 42. Shortly before my last visit to my parents' home before Dad's death, I had broken up with a young lady named Becka. The last thing I remember my dad saying during that weekend visit was, "You know I have never commented on any of the girls you have dated, but I think breaking up with Becka was a mistake." How right he was! I wish he knew how precious his last words have been to me through the years. Becka and I eventually got back together after my father had passed away. I know he would have blessed our marriage if he had lived to see it.

I recently received a list of funny famous last words that someone has probably uttered ... or could have uttered, depending on the circumstances. With that list in mind, I did some searching to find the last words of some well-known people. Some of their last words were prophetic and some were ironic and humorous. After these real last words, I'll share the list of funny ones you could almost hear someone saying.

"A dying man can do nothing easy." — Benjamin Franklin, statesman, April 17, 1790

"It is well, I die hard, but I am not afraid to go." — George Washington, first US President, December 14, 1799

"Is it the Fourth?" — Thomas Jefferson, US President, July 4, 1826

"Thomas Jefferson ... still survives...." — John Adams, US President, July 4, 1826 (Actually, Mr. Adams didn't know Jeffereson had died earlier that same day.)

"Lord help my poor soul." — Edgar Allan Poe, writer, October 7, 1849

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance." — General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, uttered right before he was shot, May 9, 1864

"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do." — Oscar Wilde, writer, November 30, 1900

"It is very beautiful over there." — Thomas Alva Edison, inventor, October 18, 1931

"Doctor, do you think it could have been the sausage?" Paul Claudel, French poet, February 23, 1955

Now on to the fun list....

picture of famous last words

Famous Last Words

"Sure it's fireproof."

"He's probably just hibernating."

"What does this button do?"

"It's probably just a rash."

"You're sure the power is off?"

"Pull the pin and count to what?"

"Which wire was I supposed to cut?"

"I wonder where the mother bear is."

"I've seen this done on TV."

"These are the good kind of mushrooms."

"I'll hold it and you light the fuse."

"Let it down slowly."

"The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!"

"It's strong enough for both of us."

"That didn't taste right."

"I can make the light before it changes."

"Now watch this...."

"I can do that with my eyes closed."

"Quick, they'll never find us if we hide here."

"Don't worry, it's not used any more."

"Back up a bit — I can't get you in the picture."

"So they finally fixed this elevator yesterday?"

"Listen, I'm taking a course in chemistry — I know what I'm doing."

"Yes, of course the elastic is strong enough."

"It's OK so long as you stay down wind."

"Nah, this plane's fuel gauge often gets stuck on empty."

"I wonder what happens if these two wires touch."

"Hey, don't worry, it isn't loaded."

"Please fasten your seat belts — we're about to enter some turbu...."

"Darling, did you remember to turn off the gas?"

"You have driven this before, haven't you?"

"And that one over there, the red flashing one, what does that mean?"

"I've never had one of these fail to open before."

"Look, how was I supposed to know it was upside down?"

"Are you sure they don't mind your taking their honey?"

"Say, what's that faint ticking noise?"

"Trust me."


Our daughter Megan has put out several blog posts about Drew's family birthday party and his favorite birthday gift, if you'd like to see some recent pictures of him.

I look forward to the famous last words my readers will add in the comments, whether they be funny or a special memory like the one I shared.


"God will be glorified through you, whether or not you believe." — Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=

He who laughs, lasts.

Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

If you enjoyed this post, get updates by RSS e-mail or Twitter

12 Comments on “Famous Last Words”

  1. #1 Vikki
    on Mar 10th, 2011 at 8:48 am

    “Let me handle this.”


    “Stand back you wimps. I’ll kill it.”

    “Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing!”

    “I wonder what’s in here?”

    “Oh cute! Look at the fuzzy little cubs!”

    “Oh don’t worry. The poisonous ones have orange stripes.”

    “Why is this man speaking in sign language?”


    Rob adds: Great ones, Vikki!

  2. #2 Michael
    on Mar 10th, 2011 at 9:27 am

    I’m not sure who said it but there’s a famous British person who supposedly said “Die, my dear darling? That’s the last thing I intend to do.”

    Rob adds: I found it online. It’s attributed to Lord Palmerston (British Prime Minister). Apparently the last item on his “to do” list got bumped up to the top. :-D

  3. #3 Barbara H.
    on Mar 10th, 2011 at 9:42 am

    I read once that often a redneck’s famous last words are, “Hey, watch this!”

    Rob adds: LOL!

  4. #4 David H.
    on Mar 10th, 2011 at 10:46 am

    “It is finished!” – Jesus Christ

    Rob adds: In Joh 19:30, those are recorded as his last words, but in Luke 23:46 it’s recorded as “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” The other two gospels have him uttering a loud cry, which could have been either phrase, or neither. That’s part of why I didn’t include those last words in my list.

  5. #5 Tammy
    on Mar 10th, 2011 at 10:56 am

    Tim Russert’s last words were “What’s happening?” Then he collapsed. Frightening to think he knew something was wrong .

    My mom died at 41 but sadly I was only 5.

    Rob adds: My dad was 19 when I was born, so I was 23 when my dad died. Do you have much recollection of your mother?

  6. #6 Malcolm Cummings
    on Mar 10th, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    Here lies the body of dear old Dave,
    He chased a bear into a cave!

    Rob adds: Sounds more like a tombstone epitaph than last words. :-)

  7. #7 Laura LaRocco
    on Mar 10th, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    I will always treasure my grandmother’s last words because they were spoken to me. I had just gotten home from school for Christmas break and went with my parents to see her, knowing that she was dying. When I told her I was home to see her, she said how glad she was that I had come. She lingered another 20 hours or so after that before the Lord took her home, but to my knowledge those were the last words she spoke.

    Rob adds: Thanks for sharing that, Laura. That must be a very special memory for you.

  8. #8 Jane Hewitt
    on Mar 10th, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    I always regret that I did not tell my brother that I loved him when I talked to him last, I did say it in my head, but not out loud. Karen tells me that he knew I loved him, I take comfort in that, just wish I would have said it. I spoke with him less than 5 minutes before the crash that took his life.

    Rob adds: I’m sure Paul knew you love him, Jane. He was very secure in the love of his family. One special memory for me is on my last visit to your mom before she had to be transferred to North Carolina. There were many indications during our visit that her thinking was not very clear, but when Becka and I were leaving, I told your mom, “I love you, Frau Long.” She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said, “I love you too.” Then a few days before she passed away, I stopped by to see her. I couldn’t stay long, but when I was leaving she said, “Bye,” knowing that I was leaving. That’s the last word I heard her say, and it made sense. Special memories of a special person to me.

  9. #9 Ray
    on Mar 10th, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    Revelation 22:20 records Jesus’ final words to mankind in this age:”Surely I come quickly”

    And verse 21 from John: “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.”

  10. #10 Becca Spare
    on Mar 10th, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    The last time I talked to my mom before went to heaven, she was not totally coherent. The nurse calmed her down and then the last words to me were, “I love you, I love you, I love you!” It is a wonderful sweet memory.

    Rob adds: A sweet memory indeed, Becca.

  11. #11 Bradley McKenzie
    on Mar 11th, 2011 at 12:19 am

    Rogers to Hammerstein (reputedly the last words the latter heard, not said): “Prepare to make your meter.”

    The last words of Dr. Bob Jones, Sr. on January 16, 1968 were “Mary Gaston, get my shoes; I must go to preach.”

    I wonder whether anyone’s last words were: “Over my dead body!”

    Rob adds: Thanks, Brad, for those additions to the list. Undoubtedly someone somewhere has said “Over my dead body” as his or her final words.

  12. #12 Sue
    on Mar 12th, 2011 at 1:37 pm

    “I never get lost.”

    “This 250′ wall has so many holes, it should be easy to climb.”

    “Don’t be silly. If this was really the ship’s “Self-Destruct Button”, do you think they’d leave it lying around where anyone could press it?”

    “What’s that whistling sound?”

    “Uh guys? Hello? Anyone?”

    “I thought you brought the antidote!”

    “I can’t possibly miss…”

    “I never get to have any fun!”

    “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

    “You wouldn’t dare!”


    Rob adds: Great ones, Sue!

If you enjoyed this post, get updates by RSS e-mail or Twitter