What do you / did you like best about starting back to school? When I was a child, I think that my favorites were the smell of new pencils and erasers, new paper in my notebook outfitted with dividers for that year's classes, putting book covers on that year's textbooks, and new back-to-school clothes. As a teacher I still love back to school, but for very different reasons. I love seeing my students from previous years who are still in the university — especially if they're in my classes. I love meeting my new students, looking forward to forging some friendships that will go into the future.

I woke up this morning at 5:05, awake as I am now, so I decided to get up and post a special first-day-of-classes iv. I'm sure I'll pay for this this evening when I struggle to stay awake till bedtime....

This year it will be fun to watch the reactions of returning students to the new furniture in our classroom, generously provided by the school's alumni. It looks so fresh and roomy — we went from a crowded room with 59 desks to just 35 seats. Ah, room to move around! Here are two pictures of the classroom in which I teach French.

To the new students, though, it will likely be the thought, "Hmm ... so this is the French room, huh?" And that's ok, I guess — they have nothing to which to compare it.

To keep things in perspective, I have to remind myself each year that for the new students, things have always been the way they know them. Part of our job as teachers is to widen their horizons beyond what they have always known and thought. And that will definitely happen in my French classes.

At this time of year I always think of the list put out by Beloit College that reminds teachers of the "mindset" of that year's incoming freshman class. If you want to feel old ... even some of you who may only be in your late 20's, check out the list on their website (link is below). Here are some of my favorite items from this year's list:

BELOIT COLLEGE'S MINDSET LIST (edited) FOR THE CLASS OF 2014
http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/2014.php

Most students entering college for the first time this fall—the Class of 2014—were born in 1992.

Few in the class know how to write in cursive.

E-mail is just too slow, and they seldom if ever use snail mail.

“Caramel macchiato” and “venti half-caf vanilla latte” have always been street corner lingo.

With increasing numbers of ramps, Braille signs, and handicapped parking spaces, the world has always been trying harder to accommodate people with disabilities.

John McEnroe has never played professional tennis.

Colorful lapel ribbons have always been worn to indicate support for a cause.

DNA fingerprinting and maps of the human genome have always existed.

Unless they found one in their grandparents’ closet, they have never seen a carousel of Kodachrome slides. (ivman adds: In my office I just threw out three slide carousels — slides and all. When's the last time I showed those things?! Why are they still occupying real estate on my bookshelf?!)

Computers have never lacked a CD-ROM disk drive.

They’ve never recognized that pointing to their wrists was a request for the time of day.

Czechoslovakia has never existed.

Pizza jockeys from Domino’s have never killed themselves to get your pizza there in under 30 minutes.

The dominance of television news by the three networks passed while they were still in their cribs.

Toothpaste tubes have always stood up on their caps.

A purple dinosaur has always supplanted Barney Google and Barney Fife.

Beethoven has always been a good name for a dog.

Having hundreds of cable channels but nothing to watch has always been routine.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg has always sat on the Supreme Court.

They have never worried about a Russian missile strike on the U.S.

The nation has never approved of the job Congress is doing.

I look forward to the comments on this post. Please pray for us as our university classes begin today.

quotation...

"Prophecy is practical. It teaches us how to live today." - Mark Kittrell

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Pity the insomniac, philosophical, dyslexic atheist who lies awake at night wondering whether there really is a dog.

Comments

• September 1, 2010, Megan writes: Scary!!!! My mom's agent said the other day that Macaulay Culkin turned 30. That made me feel seriously old and I'm younger than him. :O How can they not know cursive? I feel cheated. I was forced to learn so many things ... I knew they wouldn't be important ;) What does irk me, though, is that no one knows the Dewey Decimal system any more. All the libraries here are arranged into categories like "Novels" and "Information Books" (even though the numbers still appear on the spines.) Rob adds: Home Alone was made long enough ago that Macaulay is 30?! This is getting too weird! I have former high school students who are 53 years old, though, so I guess I shouldn't be shocked. That's amazing about the library you mentioned. The ones I've been too lately all still use the Dewey Decimal system ... albeit it sometimes with signs indicating the type of books found in that section.
• September 1, 2010, Ann writes: I had been curious about the new seating for students. Thanks for the pictures! Nice!! Have a wonderful first day!! Rob adds: I thought people would like to see what things look like now in some of the classrooms. It's really nice. And so far, so good on the first day.... :-D
• September 1, 2010, H McKee writes: I'm only 22, but my computer doesn't have a CD drive. I wanted one that was not so heavy, so that's what ended up being ditched, lol. Oh, and I know that pointing to one's wrist means asking for the time. :P But then, for this list, I guess I'm kind of in between generations... Very strange... Rob adds: I'm sure some of the Netbooks don't have CD drives. I personally need CD, DVD, and USB on our computer. Enough things still come in CD and DVD format that I couldn't do what I needed to do with just USB alone. It is interesting to see how few students wear watches.
• September 1, 2010, Chris H. writes: CD-ROMs being on computers may already be something that today's freshman understand as a "thing of the past." Fewer and fewer computers are being built with them now that USB sticks and wireless broadband internet are becoming more pervasive. And who buys CDs anymore? They just download the 3 or 4 songs they want from a "CD" to their iPods. :) Rob adds: As I said in my comment to H McKee, I still have to have a CD for software installations and data that comes from publishers by CD. I'm not sure they'll go away completely any time soon. What I need to figure out is how to get my old 33.3 LP's into mp3 format easily and cheaply, especially since our turntable doesn't work any more. Not sure it would be worth it actually. We might need to clear that stuff out so the kids don't have to after our demise some day.
• September 1, 2010, Michael writes: As a teacher I really enjoy the first days of school as well. Like you said it's great to renew acquaintance with former students and to make good relationships with new ones. I believe teachers are like students in many ways. We both enjoy the social aspects of school and, therefore, hate to see it end and are excited to see it begin. We also aren't fans of the work school involves. Always an interesting list about the incoming freshmen. I found the one about never worrying about a Russian missile strike to be the most poignant. That used to be so much a part of our thinking here in the U.S. Now, it truly is the past. I teach freshmen in high school so most of my students were born in 1996. So, that's after the OJ trial, after the Oklahoma City bombing, and during the Atlanta Olympics. It also means that they barely remember Bill Clinton as president. They also probably have a bare memory of 9/11. I'm anticipating in a few years having students who were not alive for 9/11. Scary stuff. Rob adds: I'm with you, Michael. I love the social aspect of teaching.
• September 1, 2010, Donna Lawrence writes: I commented on the new desks in my classroom this morning--most of the students had never seen the old ones, so they didn't know what they were (not) missing! Just think, on 9/11 these students were in 4th grade ... in no time we'll have students who weren't born yet.... Rob adds: You know, I remember when you were a student here. I was thinking that if I teach another 8 years, which is not out of the realm of the possible, my freshman students and I will have been born in two different millennia. Not *that* is not a comforting thought! :-)
• September 1, 2010, Megan writes: The French room looks so nice! It was always packed with chairs before! I hope your year gets off to a good start today! Dad adds: Thanks, Meg. It's been so nice today, and the returning students really like it a lot. Thanks for the good wishes for the school year. Hope we get to see y'all soon.
• September 1, 2010, Vikki writes: They may not worry about a Russian missile strike, but we didn't worry about terrorists on our soil either. I always looked forward to school starting again. My favorite part about returning to school was that everything was new and clean - clothes, notebook, paper, pens, pencils, eraser. It just made me feel fresh and free. I also looked forward to seeing my friends again and finding out who my teachers were and who was in my classes. Then I was assigned homework and the whole illusion burst and it suddenly felt like I was back in school again - my paper was now written on, books opened and read, pencils and erasers used. ** sigh ** But it was fun while it lasted. Rob adds: Thanks for sharing your memories, Vikki. I'm personally glad that we are not having to deal with both a Russian threat *and* terrorist threats! Crazy world ... for now.
• September 1, 2010, Kristi Rathjen writes: I cringed when I heard that you threw away those Kodachrome slides. = ) I hope you scanned them first so that you didn't lose those precious pictures! I have negatives floating around my house and I'm saving to buy the special scanner for pictures that turns slides and negatives into digital photos that you can then print or do whatever with. They've come down a lot in price. I think it's about $100 - $150. But because I do scrapbooking, I hate for anyone to lose that piece of their history! Rob adds: Sorry to make you cringe, Kristi. The pictures were, for the most part, already replaced by what were probably better pictures found online. Something had to give here in the office, and I didn't have the time or resources to convert the pictures which probably weren't worth salvaging. Since I have scrapbookers in the family, I know that that causes pain ... believe me.
• September 1, 2010, bj writes: My favorite memory of back to school is new school supplies! My mom and I still have a really hard time going to the store at this time of year and not leaving with at least a new pen... couple pencils...a notepad...or, who can resist crayons, or better yet, colored pencils? I don't think I will ever grow up. I am 34 (yikes, just turned ... boy I'm getting old) and work with one college girl, and three high school girls. It never ceases to amaze me what they do not know. I really wonder what they ever learn in school anymore? The Amish were just as naive when I worked with them, but they have a good excuse. These girls are in mainstream schools! Though in a small town. One of them (18 yrs old) told me "I don't know why they still make such a big deal about 9/11. I mean, I feel bad for all those people who lost family and all, but it happened so long ago! Why do we still have to talk about it every year?" Wow. Sad. Rob adds: Ah yes, school supplies. When I was at Walmart a week or so ago, that section of the store had lots of parents and school kids looking for just the right supplies. You've mentioned a downside of being with younger people who don't have the same background as you, but don't lose sight of one of the upsides of spending time with them — it's helps keep you and your outlook younger. Thanks for you comment, bj.
• September 1, 2010, Phil writes: I am happy you chose to show pictures of the new desks, since I was one of those alumni who contributed to their purchase. They look great! Rob adds: Thanks for your contribution, Phil. I could tell on day one that it will greatly enhance the learning environment. One returning student said, "Wow, I've got room to spread out my textbook and workbook!"
• September 1, 2010, Kristin writes: Wow. Now I feel old, and I'm only 31. (My husband didn't appreciate my reading the list to him and then pointing out that these people were BORN in the year that he graduated from high school. I love that he has a few years on me.) I'm with Megan on her Dewey Decimal System gripe too. One of the joys of homeschooling — both of my girls will know it well before I'm finished with them. :) Rob adds: The first part of your comment brought a smile to my face, Kristin. Good for you on teaching your girls well! Keep up the good work.
• September 2, 2010, Heather writes: I was one of those geeky kids who couldn't cope with a regular classroom environment but was loved extensive research on favorite subjects when I could do so on my own terms. I hated school until my family started homeschooling. I did love my university years though; my favorite part of starting a new semester was the anticipation of a fresh prospect to "nerd out" on my favorite topics. :) Rob, you might talk to the BJU music library about how to convert LPs to MP3s. I do remember using the record player on occasion, but I'm pretty sure I listened to some digitalized conversions as well. Rob adds: Thanks for the suggestion about talking to someone at the music library, Heather. I'm thinking, though, that the university has all kinds of electronics equipment available to the folks in the music library for doing those conversions. I'm thinking that that probably wouldn't be available to me for personal projects. They might have other suggestions, though, so thanks for the tip.
• September 2, 2010, Vikki writes: Talking about the 18 year old who is wondering what all the fuss is about 9/11 because it happened so long ago. Not to down play the magnitude of what happened, but, for her it is a long time. If you think about it, for us it may only be a few years since it happened and we remember it happening in our adult years. But for her, she was only 9 and that was half a lifetime ago! When I was 18, I remember wondering why all the fuss over the anniversary assassination of President Kennedy because it happened so long ago - I was about her age when it happened. To me, it was ancient history, but I'm sure it was fairly recent to my parents. I'm sure Pearl Harbor was ancient history to my mother a decade after the fact, but a fairly recent event to her parents too. All that to say that historic events and their relevance to the here and now is perceived differently depending on when during your lifetime it happened. On a different note, my sister and her 2 kids (late teens and early 20's) were visiting us a couple of weeks ago and we were trying to explain to them what 8-track tapes were. . . . Was that really that long ago?!? Rob adds: Good points, Vikki. It seems as just about every generations has some defining moment that doesn't mean the same thing to people who didn't go through it. I remember exactly where I was when I heard that JFK had been shot. It was not a pretty scene with a bunch of 7th grade boys crying in the gym locker room! 8-track tapes ... I'd rather forget them. It seemed so "hi tech" at the time, but I was delighted when cassettes came along.

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Does it seem to you as if we are constantly assailed with warnings? The news is filled with reports of the latest scam, severe weather alerts, travel advisories, and so forth. One week we're warned about eating a certain food, and then the next week the "experts" tell us how dangerous it is to eliminate that very same food from our diet, pronouncing it essential to our good health.

Today's iv is two short stories where the central character would have been well served if he had received a timely warning.

Poor Old Fred

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to be deteriorating quickly and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he had been wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there or us all."

He opened the note, and read, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube!

The Old Pirate

A sailor that was standing by the ocean, looked to his left and saw a little bungalow some distance away. He walked to the bungalow and found that there was an old pirate living there. He introduced himself to the pirate, and they started exchanging sea adventures. The sailor noticed the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, but he wasn't sure whether he should ask about them. Finally he could resist no longer and asked the pirate, "So, how'd you get the peg-leg?"

"Well," says the pirate, "We was a sailin' off o' the coast o' Bermuda, and a monster o' a storm came upon us. A giant wave washed me clean overboard an jest as they were a pullin' me aboard, a heap o' sharks appeared outa nowheres an one o' them varmints bit me leg off."

"Blimy," says the sailor. " And what about your hook? How did you get that?"

"Well, Sonny," Says the pirate, "We was a boardin' a trader ship off o the coast of South Africa. There was a pistols ablazin' and swords a swingin' an in the fracas I got me hand chopped clean off, so's they a fitted me here with this hook."

"Zounds," says the sailor. "Did you get that eye patch in the fight, too?"

"No," says the pirate, "That t'were a differnt story. Ya see, I were a lookin' up inta the sky, admirin' the beautiful clouds and a no good varmint of a seagull come a flyin' by an unloaded a droppin' right smack inta me eye."

"You mean a seagull dropping put out your eye?" asked the sailor incredulously.

"Well..." says the pirate, "t'were me first day with the hook.

Oops, sorry I didn't warn you not to read this if you're not free to laugh out loud. Do some warnings get on your nerves? Are there areas of life where you think people need more warnings?

Update on Nora: Nora's surgery was two weeks ago this morning, and she is doing better each day. Several days ago she was able to go off the pain medicine. She is regaining strength and mobility. She still tires easily and knows when she has done too much. Her post-op visit is next week. Thanks so much to those who have prayed, sent greetings, and shown concern in so many ways.

quotation...

"To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals." - Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.

Comments

• August 30, 2010, Michael writes: With some warnings I would love to know the history behind why the warning had to be given. What stupid thing did someone do to warrant this warning? Unfortunately many warnings are given by companies to avoid being sued by stupid people. For example, I really get annoyed with commercials on TV for pharmaceuticals. They sell you on the drug for the first 15 seconds of the commercial then the remaining 45 seconds is a litany of potential side effects and cautions. I normally just mute the TV in such a situation. Rob adds: I feel your pain, Michael. There was a spoof ad many years ago for "Happy Fun Ball." The warning were so outlandish that you just had to LOL. When we hear the current pharmaceutical ads with all their disclaimers, one of us will say "Happy Fun Ball" and we all know what is meant.
• August 30, 2010, Vikki writes: Michael's post reminded me of some of the warning that you see when you buy a new product. I realize they're there to protect the company, but sometimes the warnings are so ridiculous that no one in their right mind would even attempt it - like not giving a set of carving knives to a small child. Someone I once knew, who had recently taken a nutrition class, told me that she learned 2 things in the class. First that we need food to stay alive and second that all foods can kill you. Guess that explains why we're told not to eat a certain food one day and encourage to eat it the next. Rob adds: You made me think of a former post to which I should have put a link Please Follow the Destructions! I *love* the lesson you cited from the nutrition class. My dear wife used to teach nutrition and ceased to be surprised at how radically the dietary requirements changed with each edition of the textbook. Thanks for your comment, Vikki. You always add interesting perspectives whenever you comment. :-)
• August 30, 2010, Sarah writes: Gotta love the warning you get on Tim Hortons' coffee-to-go cups: "This coffee is hot." No kidding!! I understand, though, that they once got sued by a lady who spilled her coffee on herself and got burned. And we know that that burn must have been Tim Hortons' fault -- they never should have served her coffee that was actually hot! Rob adds: The same thing has happened here in the US with McDonald's — someone sued because they got coffee and it was hot enough to burn them when they clumsily spilled it on themselves and there was no warning that the coffee wasn't stone cold.
• August 30, 2010, Ruth writes: Re: the McDonald's coffee case. I thought that was a stupid case, too, until I heard that a lawyer friend had looked into the details on it. The woman burned had not wanted to sue, but she was horribly burned (3rd degree, 7 days in hospital, skin grafts, 2 years recovering) and wanted some compensation for the expenses ($11,000!). McDonald's would not give her compensation. A lawyer heard about it and wanted to take the case to court because he knew that McDonald's served their coffee about 20 degrees higher than the average, and several hundred had previously been burned as well (he had been involved in a similar case). There's more to it than that, but this is enough to make me view the case a little differently. The 79-year-old woman really had not wanted to take it to court - there was a lawyer who wanted to make a point. :-) There's a write-up on it at this link: http://www.vanosteen.com/mcdonalds-coffee-lawsuit.htm But I agree with everyone else. The warning labels on items are pretty ridiculous! And it's scary to think of what you can be sued for, even as an unassuming homekeeper. I rejoice to know that nothing comes my way unless it is God-ordained! And He will be with me through everything. Rob adds: Thanks for filling in some details, Ruth. It seems that just about everyone has heard about the case in question, but most of us don't know "the rest of the story," as Paul Harvey would say. We seem to live in an increasingly litigious world and we have to be careful not to give others cause, especially when they seem to be looking for it. You can certainly understand companies wanting to cover themselves against suits. Crazy, for sure!
• August 30, 2010, Carrie writes: I love the pirate story! Rob adds: I do too. Rrrrrrrr!

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In a post called Unhelpful Road Signs I poked fun at the following combination of signs:

I still miss the logic of one sign's saying Toutes Directions, indicating all directions, right next to another sign saying other directions. If all means all, how can there be other?! And yet you see that pairing of signs all over France!

This next pairing is even more illogical.

If that is possible, then I guess the next set of signs is a viable option.

By turning right, you can go north, east, and west! I wonder what you have to do to go south.

That would make the next sign also seem to make sense.

Because of construction, to go straight you take a left?

This next sign gives a clue as to why the French are so good at one particular activity....

They have a special school to teach them to go on strike.

Here's are two signs whose only connection is supposed to be the location of the places indicated.

It's great for the national police that their station is located near a mountainous tourist destination called Gros Cerveau, which means big brain.

Here's an interesting caution sign....

I wonder what exactly about elderly people is worthy of a warning. Here's one I consider a warning to the elderly!

It would be interesting to know how close the retirement home is to the industrial zone (z. i.) of slaughter houses.

The French are great with signs telling you what not to do. I can think of three ways they have of doing so. Some signs will tell you that something is interdit = "forbidden." This sign maker had a sense of humor.

So don't think you're going to get away with moseying in there with your vehicle on a leash!

And you can see how good the French are at obeying such signs!

Vehicles are not the only things forbidden in some places....

I thought sidewalks were designed for pedestrians!

Boy, it's really going to stop people when they are formally forbidden to touch the plants!

Another means of telling people not to do something with the word défense which in this context means "prohibition."

The first time I saw a sign like the next one in a Parisian subway car, I was amazed that it was necessary.

That is, until I saw evidence of those who spit in the subway car in spite of that sign.

I have to wonder if this sign is for real.

I hope they will indeed heavily fine anyone caught dumping cadavres!

The third method used by the French to tell people not to do something is more universally recognized. It's illustrated in the sign on the right and is easy enough to understand — don't panic!

With "don't" firmly in mind, on leaving a French town by car, I am amused by the way they show you that you are leaving the city limits.

On the outskirts of Fondettes, my bizarre mind would think, "Don't Fondettes!"

OK, class, what is wrong in the next two pictures?

Right! Or maybe not....

If you know the international signage for "No Parking," you might find the next sign amusing.

If you can "park" in the cemetery for only 15 minutes, it's no wonder they have signs telling people not to dump bodies! What's a living Frenchman to do?!

I know what 50 of them could do....

They could snag one of the 50 plots still available in that historic cemetery.

I look forward to your reactions to the signs in today's post.

quotation...

"For Bethlehem and Calvary to be precious to us, Eden has to be horrific to us." - Charles Barrett

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

Comments

• August 26, 2010, JohnMatzko writes: My French is shaky enough that if I actually saw these signs in place, I'd figure I was just missing something. I assume the "personnes agees" warning is the inverse of our "children at play." And my old French dictionary says that the word "cadavres" can be used for empty bottles. So maybe that sign is near a bistro? Rob adds: John, you are probably right about the "geezers at play" idea, but I just found it amusing that the sign was so basic with a huge exclamation mark, resulting in OLD PEOPLE! (Like, scream and run from them???) A secondary usage of cadavres is its slang use for "empties," and your thought might be valid. My mind just immediately went to the primary sense of "carcass." Sorry, maybe I'm too much of a literalist, even though I'm an incorrigible punster. As Becka might have cause to say (but doesn't because she's too sweet....), "Don't laugh. It will only incorrige him." :-)
• August 26, 2010, Carrie writes: I like the All Directions signs. Yikes! Rob adds: Sometimes in real life I feel as if I'm going in all directions, but I also know that that is not a correct perception. I am incapable of that. :-D
• August 26, 2010, Brian Tojdowski writes: The Nord, Est, Ouest sign reminds me of home. The street my parents live on begins as East Avenue in Shortsville, crosses the train tracks to become South Ave. in Manchester, and crosses a street to become North Ave. for its last little leg. Rob adds: Does the road turn so that its orientation is in the direction of its name?
• August 26, 2010, Sarah writes: We've got a road like that "Nord, Est, Ouest" sign in Sherwood Park, AB. As you're heading West into Edmonton on one main drag, you'll see signs at the overpass indicating that you should exit right (North) to go East to Lloydminster, and you should exit left (South) to go East to Camrose. The roads do eventually turn around to go the right way, but it sure looks strange on the signs! Rob adds: Now that makes sense. Maybe there's an explanation like that to the set of signs I posted, but it surely does look odd.
• August 27, 2010, Michael writes: I like the town signs indicating that you have left the city limits. Very efficient use of signage. It would also be helpful, though, to know where you are as well as where you are not. Rob adds: Michael, there are days, though, where I'm not sure where I am.
• August 27, 2010, Vikki writes: The Nord, Est, Ouest sign reminds me of the time we were in the Detroit area and were give directions to a Big Boy and told to make a Michigan left. We clarified it by asking if the restaurant was to the left at that corner and were told, yes. We were quite confused when we got to the intersection and found signs directing us to the right hand lane to turn left along with no left turn signs! We followed the signs and found that, to turn left, you have to turn right, go down about half a block or so and do a u-turn. Seems to me that the u-turn was more dangerous than a left hand turn - but at least now I know what a Michigan left is. When we lived in Bartlett, IL, a town of around 14,000 at the time, there was a South Bartlett Rd, a North Bartlett Rd and a West Bartlett Rd and all headed toward the center of town. The South and West Bartlett Rds changed to Main St for about 8 or 10 blocks as it crossed through the center of town. In the center of town Main St made a 90 degree turn, (hence the change from South to West) where North Bartlett Rd met it at the train crossing. It was very frustrating when someone would give directions using only Bartlett Rd without telling you which Bartlett Rd they meant! When we moved here to the Greenville area about 5 years ago, we amused to find East North Street. After looking at it on the map, we saw it could have been named Northeast North Street since it's basically a diagonal. Rob adds: Too funny, Vikki! You are so right!
• August 27, 2010, JohnMatzko writes: About Greenville's East North Street: it was named for a North family. Roads with signs indicting different directions are called "Wrong-way concurrencies." See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wrong-way_concurrency#Wrong-way_concurrency Rob adds: I didn't know that about East North Street, John. Nor the term wrong-way concurrencies. Thanks!
• August 28, 2010, Katie writes: I find these posts of yours about road signs hilarious! I am a high school French teacher and showed the "Toutes directions"/"Autres directions" sign to my 3rd and 4th year classes. I also love the signs to indicate when you are leaving a city with the big red line through them. I always find those odd but it does make sense! I am going to have to pay more attention to street signs when I am in France next time. Merci pour l'amusement! Rob adds: De rien! The French method of leaving-town-signage (really used in other European countries also) does make sense and is a good, economical way of doing things. It's just my strange mind that sees it as "Don't whatever-town-it was!" :-D I hope you will be back often. Thanks for your comment, Katie.
• August 31, 2010, Tony writes: I have a picture of a "Senior crossing" sign that I took while visiting San Francisco (couldn't find it though). Not knowing any French, I would wonder if the French warning was directed AT seniors, or directed at others to be aware of (or to beware of) seniors. Was the sign near a senior crossing, or perhaps near senior's lawns in danger of being stepped upon? Rob adds: I don't really know where the senior sign is located. You share some interesting ideas though, Tony. One time in one of the nursing homes where our students did a program for the residents, we were shocked that they carried people down the stairs and didn't have an elevator. Seemed highly risky to us! We wondered what on earth they would do in the event of a fire.
• September 1, 2010, JohnMatzko writes: Unfortunately, my word-of-mouth etymology for East North Street is wrong. Furman English professor and local historian Judith Bainbridge says that "North Street (briefly Boundary Street) marked the northern end of town." It's such a pain to make a confident assertion only to have someone who actually knows come along. Rob adds: Not to worry, John. As they say, to err is human, to moo bovine. Thanks for the clarification. :-)

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In real life, it's an interesting challenge to try to figure out the line of work of people we see. Clothing is sometimes helpful, but not always. Remember when people wore surgical scrubs, not because of their work, but because scrubs were the rage in casual fashion? Our dentist dresses in a T-shirt and jeans in the office, and has done so for years. Frequently dress and other externals are totally irrelevant.

With hunting season just around the corner in some parts of the country, I'm posting a humor classic on determining a person's profession by how he or she hunts an elephant.

How to Tell a Person's Profession by the Method Used to Hunt an Elephant

Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant and catching one of whatever is left. Experienced mathematicians will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step one as a subordinate exercise.

Professors of mathematics will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for their graduate students.

Theoretical mathematicians catch elephants in a cage by building a cage, going inside, closing the door and — defining the outside as inside.

Physicists would not begin the actual hunt for elephants immediately. The experimentalists would first consult the theorists who would then apply for government grants to support the development of a theory of how to actually detect elephants. In the ensuing 25 years multiple theories would be promulgated. Unfortunately, no elephants will be found as they will all be extinct by this time.

Computer scientists hunt elephants by exercising Algorithm A:
1. Go to Africa.
2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope.
3. Work northwards in an orderly manner, traversing the continent alternately east and west.
4. During each traverse pass,
a. Catch each animal seen.
b. Compare each animal caught to a known elephant.
c. Stop when a match is detected.

Experienced computer programmers modify Algorithm A by placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will terminate. Assembly language programmers prefer to execute the algorithm on their hand and knees.

Database administrators do not need to go out and capture elephants when they can retrieve them simply with an ad hoc query:

1 SELECT * FROM AFRICAN_CRITTERS
2 WHERE CRITTER_TYPE = 'TERRESTRIAL'
3 AND SIZE = 'LARGE'
4 AND COLOR = 'GRAY'
5 AND TRUNK = 'YES'
6 AND ODOR IS NOT NULL;

Microsoft developers define a new standard elephant, mostly backwards compatible with previous elephants. They then build a genetic engineering laboratory in darkest Africa, and after several years of secret development, release several of these new elephants in a fenced enclosure so they can successfully hunt them.

Mac developers never actually succeed in hunting elephants. They will, however, put on lavish hunt launching parties, at which they distribute T-shirts displaying a pre-hunted elephant.

Civil engineers apply to the governments of all countries in Africa for contracts to design huge concrete-lined pits for elephants to fall into. When faced with how to ensure catching nothing but elephants, they defer to the architect.

Mechanical engineers hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching grey animals at random, and stopping when any one of them weighs within plus or minus 15% of any previously observed elephant.

Economists don't hunt elephants, but they believe that if elephants are paid enough they will hunt themselves.

Statisticians hunt the first animal they see "n" times and call it an elephant.

Consultants don't hunt elephants, and many have never hunted anything at all, but they can be hired by the hour to advise those people who do.

Senior managers set broad elephant-hunting policy based on the assumption that elephants are just like big field mice, but with deeper voices.

Quality assurance inspectors ignore the elephants and look for mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.

Salespeople don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling the elephants they haven't caught, for delivery two days before the season opens. Software salespeople ship the first thing they catch and send an invoice for an elephant. Hardware salespeople catch rabbits, paint them grey, and sell them as desktop elephants.

Tech support people start out by getting the name and phone number of the elephant. They require the serial number of an elephant before they'll tell you which Knowledge Base article to read ... but you have to be on their database first.

Attorneys have the court issue subpoenas on all elephants. The problem of finding them then becomes the process server's. However lawyers do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings.

That gives a whole new meaning to "job hunting." How would people in your profession characteristically hunt elephants?

quotation...

"When we are in Christ, how we work and why we work changes." - Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Hunt for the good points in other people. Remember, they have to do the same in your case.

Comments

• August 23, 2010, John T writes: (Something tells me these guys might actually work for the government...) Three statisticians go out hunting together. After a while, they spot a solitary elephant. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots, the second aims and undershoots, and the third shouts out, “We got him!” Rob adds: Government statisticians! Perfect, John!
• August 23, 2010, Roxanne S writes: I work in the baby room of a nursery. We would not go hunting elephants . . . we change diapers! Rob adds: That's true. But watch out for the droppings...! :-D
• August 23, 2010, Sam Schnaiter writes: Actually I always thought that the large flapping appendage to either side of its head was irrelephant! Or maybe a certain botannical plant common to rain forests. Rob adds: That's elephant ears, Sam. I had actually thought about the same pun when I was organizing the post and I almost slipped in a mention of the elephant ear plants or even the elephant ear cookies, but I thought they might be slightly irrelephant to the topic of the post.
• August 23, 2010, Michael writes: The entries on economists and consultants were perfect! Rob adds: Thanks, Michael! Hope your school year is off to a good start.
• August 23, 2010, Dan Olinger writes: Theologians believe in elephants, so they don't have to hunt them. However, they do argue about whether you should just presuppose that there are elephants or whether you're allowed to take the existence of extremely large piles of dung as evidence that elephants exist. Rob adds: Wow, that's deep! ... your comment, that is, not the evidence.... :-D
• August 23, 2010, JohnMatzko writes: Historians are only interested in elephants that are dead — except for varieties that are extinct. Those are prehistoric. Rob adds: As a historian, John, do you differentiate between dead elephants and dead horses?
• August 23, 2010, Kathleen writes: "Quality assurance inspectors ignore the elephants and look for mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep." Not quite right for me, but good enough. :-) This was pretty funny, thanks for the laughs! Rob add: Are you a quality assurance inspector, Kathleen? Glad you enjoyed the post.
• August 24, 2010, Kathleen writes: I'm a software tester. As such, I also especially enjoyed the one about computer programmers. :-D Rob adds: I didn't know that about you. Most interesting.
• August 25, 2010, Sarah writes: I'm an admin assistant. Hunting elephants is not part of my job description... but I might have to go hunting if such became part of my supervisor's job description! Rob adds: You would surely have to do that since the admin assistant, in most cases, is the one who actually gets things done and knows what's going on. Thanks for sharing that, Sarah. I chuckled when I read it.
• August 26, 2010, Laura B. writes: I'm not in the military, but I imagine that they wouldn't look for elephants directly, as anything that looked like an elephant could be a decoy for a trap. Maybe they'd look for dromedaries first. After all, elephants are highly intelligent, and if they surrounded themselves with enough dromedaries, they'd be effectively CAMEL-flaged. Have a great day. Rob adds: Laura, you are too punny! :-D

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I don't usually think much about genetics, but lately it's been brought back into focus in our lives. Our appearance and myriad other physical traits come from our ancestors through our parents. Among those traits are tendencies toward certain ailments, allergies, etc. It's all written into our DNA. For instance, diabetes does not run in my family — it gallops! I knew that it was not a matter of if, but rather when, I would become diabetic. On my mom's side of the family, at least three generations before mine have all developed type 2 diabetes. I am now dealing with being officially pre-diabetic, doing my best through lifestyle changes to delay the development of diabetes as long as possible.

My wife Becka learned some years ago that she is allergic to aspirin (more accurately salicylates), just as her mother was. Through our daughter Nora's recent experiences, it appears that she has inherited the same allergy. Our son Mark has had the same reaction I had to the cleaning agent now used on blood donors. Fortunately our kids have inherited Becka's good eyesight and not my poor vision. Unfortunately Mark has inherited my flat, narrow feet. And if what we're told about diabetes and genetics is true, my children will probably all develop diabetes at some point in the future, as will my grandchildren, and so on. Sorry, kids.

Some time ago, I found a fun picture that illustrates how genetics works.

Twins, especially identical twins, hold a special fascination for many of us. I loved both of the following geeky explanations for twinning.

This past summer when we visited the petting zoo at the Creation Museum, we saw the zonkey and the zorse. Here's a picture of the two of them together.

On their website they have an article called Horses of a Different Color about these two animals.

As a spin-off of all these considerations, I'll share a few "What do you get when you cross a...?" jokes.

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?
An animal that can milk itself.

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a rainstorm?
A wet blanket.

What do you get when you cross a snake with a set of building blocks?
A boa constructor.

What do you get when you cross a worm with an elephant?
Great big holes in your garden.

What do you get when you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armour.

What do you get when you cross a tourist and an elephant?
Something that carries its own trunk.

What do you get when you cross a thief with an orchestra?
Robbery with violins.

What do you get when you cross a labrador dog with a tortoise?
An animal that goes to fetch and comes back with last week's newspaper.

What do you get when you cross a flea with a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with four-leaf clovers?
A rash of good luck!

What do you get when you cross an artist with a policeman?
A brush with the law.

What do you get when you cross a baby with a UFO?
An unidentified crying object.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish and they have twins?
A pair of swimming trunks.

What do you get when you cross a spider with a horse?
I don't know, but if it bites you, you can ride it to the hospital.

Do you have a favorite joke in this genre that you'd like to share in the comments?

quotation...

"I like to tell people I want no child left on his behind. Kids don't need to go to a gym or lift weights. They just need to play." - Keith-Thomas Ayoob, RD, as quoted by The Spokesman-Review

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Comments

• August 19, 2010, Kathie writes: What a fun post to read! Our family has been asked to go thru genetic testing because all 6 of my children have inherited my dairy and egg allergies...which is supposedly not a true allergy but a genetic defect. Whatever! But the whole issue of genetics does fascinate me. Maybe it's because I have two sets of twins...and they don't run in either family. Thanks again for a fun post! Rob adds: I'm glad you enjoyed the post, Kathie. Two sets of twins?! That's pretty amazing, considering you don't have them on either side of the family. My wife helps the students with different food allergies and intolerances at BJU. They seem to be increasingly common.
• August 19, 2010, Vikki writes: What do you get if you cross centipede and a parrot? A walkie talkie What do you get if you cross a chicken with a dog? Pooched eggs What do you get if you cross a cow with a grass cutter? A lawn mooer What do you get if you cross a large computer and a beefburger? A big mac What do you get if you cross an overheating large computer with a beefburger? A big mac and fries! Rob adds: This is a great start to the reader contributions. Keep 'em coming. Thanks, Vikki!
• August 19, 2010, Carrie writes: Those twin pictures are adorable and I LOVE the kid in the checkers! Too funny! Rob adds: I almost added them when I did the geek post, but this seemed like a better use of the twin pictures. I don't know how long I've had the black and white picture, just waiting for the perfect post to include it. Glad you enjoyed them, Carrie.
• August 19, 2010, Kathie writes: I should've explained that my first set of twins were heaven sent at 20 weeks gestation. I had 5 miscarriages, one between each live pregnancy. And yes, everyone but hubby is allergic to dairy and eggs. But I have to say, these two issues ended up being the biggest blessings in my life. I have been able to comfort many a crying friend when they went through their miscarriages. I know all the scriptures that comfort a crying Momma with empty arms. As far as our allergies, I feel SO blessed that we are ALL allergic. I can't imagine living in a household where some of my children could have yummy ice cream and others couldn't. What a blessing. Besides that, since we can't eat most anything out of a can or box, we have a healthy diet. PTL I was at BJU when Ron Hamilton was diagnosed with eye cancer. I remember Dr. Bob Jr. asking us in chapel to pray for Ron that day. I fully understand when Ron says that losing his eye ended up being his biggest blessing. I am reminded of that day every time we sing Oh Rejoice in the Lord. My cousin, Brenda Bitterman Jackson, is a missionary with Wycliffe who lost her hubby, Chet Bitterman, to terrorists in Bogata, South America in 1980. Three months after Chet's murder, Brenda made the statement that she was finally able to thank God for Chet's murder. I didn't understand it at the time, but now I do. Thanks for letting me share that with you. Every morning I wake up and ask myself what I can do to advance the Kingdom of God. These two issues have opened many doors that otherwise would have been shut. PTL! Rob adds: Thanks for sharing more, Kathie. I remember when my dad died of a massive heart attack at age 42, I had just memorized 1 Thessalonians 5:18 the week before. The Lord brought that verse strongly to my mind as I drove to my parents' home that evening, and I asked Him, "Lord, do you expect me to thank you for this?!" In my heart He responded, "Yes." And so I thanked Him by saying, "I don't know why you allowed this, but I trust you and I thank you." The bitterness that had started to well up in me just drained away, and I ended up singing the rest of the drive home. I went through hard times of missing dad, but I still trusted the Lord. As 2 Cor. 1:3-4 tell us, He comforts us so that we can comfort others when they need it (loose paraphrase there). He's doing that in and through you, Kathie. PTL, indeed!
• August 20, 2010, Mary writes: Thanks to Kathie for her comments. They were a blessing to me today. Rob adds: I second that, Mary.
• August 23, 2010, Ray writes: I've heard it said that genetically we are unique collections of non-unique traits. Of course these traits were present in the genesis our first parents — Adam and Eve. Rob adds: I understand that we are actually devolving as more and more mutations and genetics weaknesses are added to the gene pool with the passage of time.
• August 24, 2010, Ray writes: Rob, Only in the minds of those who deny God and his Word can "down" mean "up"... i.e. the second half of Romans chapter 1. Ray Rob adds: All too true, Ray.

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Do you like potpourri? To me, some varities are nice, but many are overpowering to the point of irritation. My French students always seem shocked to learn that the pourri part of the word comes from the French verb pourrir, which means "to rot." Since pourri is the past participle, potpourri is literally a "rotten pot." Unfortunately, some potpourri smells like it.

Today's iv is a collection of oddments that individually aren't enough for a whole blog post. What it amounts to is five different things I've come across that could have each been part of previous blog posts.

I had meant to include this in my most recent blog post on geek humor, but it wasn't in the right folder and was, hence, forgotten. I wonder if it's from the same source that two cartoons were from in my last post. It was sent to me without attribution. (see comments for attribution)

This next picture could have been part of my post on the Pringles Food Pyramid.

That flavor sounds almost like a fragrance of potpourri!

Here's one that didn't make it into my post on Smart Car Body Kits. It's what every Smart Car owner needs — a crocheted "car cosy!"

I saw this picture the other day and thought about the post I had done on Graffiti. This is by an artist called Mogul.

I'll end with one that a reader sent me after my recent post called Attention Grabbers. It features an unfortunate placement of a picture and a headline in a newspaper, making it look as if Ronald McDonald is surrendering on felony charges.

Now how's that for a rotten pot? Feel free to comment.

I delayed posting until later today so that I could give an update on Nora. She came through surgery fine this morning. She already has visibly less pain, especially in her leg. She will spend the night in the hospital and then come back to our house to continue her recovery. Thank you so much for your prayers so far. If you think to remember her in your prayers as she recovers, it would be a wonderful blessing to us all.

quotation...

"Staying true to Jesus is worth losing everything." - Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Could working as a Walmart greeter be referred to as "howdy duty"? (reworked from a recent Shoe comic strip)

Comments

• August 16, 2010, Michael writes: That Pringles flavor is especially hideous when you think that a court ruled that Pringles are not potato chips. Likely that there aren't any fruits or nuts either. Rob adds: I wonder how little actual nutritional value there is in a serving of Pringles.
• August 16, 2010, Deb Crater writes: Unfortunately "If you repeat a lie often enough it becomes truth" is not just about politics ... it is our post modern generation where truth is not absolute in many eyes, warping theology. I am glad for capital T TRUTH. Rob adds: I'm with you about Truth, Deb.
• August 16, 2010, deb holman writes: I am so glad that Nora's surgery went well. Our thoughts are with her and you and Becka for her recovery! I know it will go just fine, she is strong, and so are you. I love you all!! :) sister Deb Rob adds: Thanks, Deb. We are also glad that Nora's surgery went well, and we hope and pray that this will put her on the fast track to a normal life. We are all thankful for the Source of our strength. We all love you too. :-) Thanks for your support.
• August 17, 2010, Andy writes: The first comic is from xkcd. You can see the original here: http://www.xkcd.com/612 Rob adds: I should have recognized it from the style of the artist. I looked around the site a little and reiterate David's warning that not everything on that site is edifying. Caveat lector, for sure.
• August 17, 2010, Carrie writes: The Smart Car cosy!!! I'm inspired! As soon as I finish my kids' hats and mittens and sweaters, I'll start one for our mini van! :) Rob adds: A mini van cosy would be awe-inspiring. By the time you're done, you'll be glad you don't drive a semi.
• August 23, 2010, Amanda writes: My mom recently bought a tin of loose leaf chai tea that looks and smells like potpourri (in a good way...it in no way smells like a rotten pot...it doesn't taste rotten either :) ). In fact, the cashier at the store mentioned that people actually buy some of their tea to use as potpourri. I for one would rather drink the tea and buy a glade plugin or something. Rob adds: Some teas have *wonderful* aromas, but then again, I've smelled some that ... well, ... I don't think I'd want to brew up and imbibe.
• September 2, 2010, Rebecca Burgener writes: I've been watching for "my" picture. Poor Ronald McDonald. Rotten Pot. Of all the years I took French, I never heard that one. I love the smell of Sassafras tea which works well since I don't drink it anymore. I studied sassafras in college for a project and found out that it is not only a carcinogen but also can be used to cause a miscarriage. (Yikes!) I have used it to scent the house, but unfortunately my husband hates the smell. So it's been awhile. Rob adds: Thanks again for "your" picture, Rebecca. I couldn't wait till I had the opportunity to share it on my blog. I didn't know that about sassafras! Yikes, indeed!

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Do you have a computer geek in your life? Many of my readers know that my summers are spent working at IT Service Desk on campus, "improving life ... one computer at a time." (my motto, not theirs) This Friday ends my summer at IT and that is bittersweet — I really enjoy my work as a tech helping people, but I'm also eager to get back in the classroom.

Even though I like to express my inner geek, I have to admit that there are many aspects of computers that I don't understand and I'm not as geeky as some. To test your level of geekdom (if that's not a word, it should be), see how much of the humor in today's iv is funny to you.

You've heard it said that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Well, I must admit that I am a digital packrat. (Attribution for the cartoon, unknown at the time of publication, is in the comments section.)

And you are the beneficiaries of my digital packrattiness ... Exhibit A: today's post.

When people ask me questions about Microsoft Word, I can honestly plead ignorance. I avoid using that program like the plague — it drives me crazy! So when I find humor poking fun at Word, I automatically love it.

Airport security is affecting computer users big time.

Don't you just hate the little paper clip in Word?! I love the next cartoon.

It's been a while since I've shared any blonde humor, so....

Here's the perfect gift for that blonde in your life.

One of the techs sent me this cartoon last week. Website designers are yet another kind of geek. You may have to go back to the post of charts and graphs if this doesn't make sense to you. (Attribution for the cartoon, unknown at the time of publication, is in the comments section.)

The techs enjoy friendly arguments over which OS (operating system) is superior — Windows, Apple, or Linux. Here's something they can probably all agree on.

If you're just coming out of a long stay in a cave, you may not know that one of the latest rages is the iPad. As an owner of an iPod touch, I found this picture of Steve Jobs amusing.

Vive Photoshop?

Dilbert features some great computer humor. Here are several I like a lot.

Any tech I worked with this summer who has seen this next one has said something like, "That's the truth! That's so funny!"

The bane of most computer users and techs is the copy machine/printer. The problem is apparently not new.

I'll end with several actual conversations or e-mails from work at the Service Desk. No names to protect the guilty.

Calls from users:

Caller: I’d like to buy… uh… Microsoft?
Tech: That’s at the Campus Store

User: I cannot get my wireless to work.
Tech: What kind of computer do you have?
User: Uh… a HP… uh… Vista… uh … laptop.
Tech: Did you try the instructions?
User: No … I did not want to mess things up. ... Oh, by the way, I am an IT major.

E-mails from users:

My computer’s disc C already full and it makes my computer not have the regular running anymore.

The computer has fallen and will not respond. (I've fallen and I can't get up?)

Tower is running really. Maybe the fan. This is the 3rd day.

Keyboard is bad. You have to slam the keys on the keyboard before it will work.

His computer ate his disk. He inserted the disk and it said to insert the disk. He checked and it was no longer there.

Computer is fried. It snapped, crackled, and popped. The computer had some smoke coming out of it and is quite smelly.

Request new mousey, please:) Old one sticks. The mouse cannot get away fast enough from the cat.

I have a cable that is for a wireless mouse ... I think? Where is the mouse that goes with it? Or for that fact, is there a mouse to go with the machine?

Mouse out of control - needs replaced.

When she moves her mouse, it opens up different programs.

In some ways, working as an IT tech and teaching have a lot in common....

BTW, I'm trying out Twitter to see why people are all atwitter about it. If you want to follow me, I'm ivmanrob

Update on Nora: Her surgery is definitely scheduled for this next Monday. The doctor is very optimistic that this will greatly help the pain in her back and the horrible sciatic pain in her left leg.

quotation...

"Love and holiness are not enemies." — Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Comments

• August 12, 2010, Michael writes: Once again, how did we ever become so dependent on technology? How did people ever get things done before computers? I suppose comic strip creators are happy computers have come since it has given them lots of fresh material. Rob adds: I always appreciate your comments, Michael. Comic strip creators and comedians seem to be able to see the humor in just about any situation.
• August 12, 2010, Greg writes: The University Website Chart was great!! Dilbert is so funny, I sometimes think Scott Adams has a hidden microphone in our office to get some of his material. :-D Rob adds: It seems as if any office on campus could locate a hidden bug, it would be yours....
• August 12, 2010, Jonathan writes: I love the cartoon about Word and Airport Security! After traveling overseas this summer, I could almost see that happening! As far as Twitter goes, I think that it would be a great tool for instantly broadcasting prayer requests if you have a sufficient "following." I'm working on developing that application for our daily prayer team. If you download the "Tweetdeck", you can type in one "status" and send it to Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and one or two other services simultaneously. If you'd like to follow me, I'm jonathanmcp. Please keep the good clean humor coming! Rob adds: Thanks for the comment and the suggestions, Jonathan. Technology is a double-edged sword — capable of delivering great good and ill.
• August 12, 2010, David Lowry writes: The "pictures on my harddrive" and university website comics are from xkdc — http://www.xkcd.com I would recommend caution, since many of the comics are not edifying, but I think that proper attribution is important, too. Rob adds: Thank, David! I posted those cartoons just as they were sent to me, not knowing the original source. Thanks for providing the attribution. Thanks for your caution too — caveat lector
• August 12, 2010, PvR writes: Actually that would be http://www.xkcd.com Rob adds: Thanks PvR! I fixed the link in David's comment.
• August 12, 2010, Janet writes: Oh dear. I am a geek. I thought all the jokes were great. And I have an entire folder of funny pictures divided into sub folders depending on the occasion on my personal drive. Some of them are even in power point slide shows with music and snarky comments. Rob adds: Welcome to a fine club, Janet!
• August 12, 2010, roy writes: As a leftie I love my cordless mouse at home. Moving a corded mouse from left to right is never easy. The coffee cup always seems to be in the way. Great post, Rob....always enjoy. Rob adds: Glad you enjoyed it, Roy. Becka is also a leftie, but using a mouse is one of the things she does with her right hand. Other right-handed activities for her are using scissors and ironing. Glad you enjoyed the post.
• August 12, 2010, Amanda writes: I've spent a sizable amount of time this summer converting and reformatting Word Perfect files to Microsoft Word files and my negative opinion of MS Word has been solidified forever. Especially headers and footers. I think I'm going to get MS Word for blondes. :D Rob adds: Thank you for bravely standing with those of us who have little esteem for Word.
• August 12, 2010, Heather writes: I've never worked at a helpdesk, but I imagine it must feel something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQHX-SjgQvQ Thanks for the geeky humor! :) Rob adds: I've seen that video clip before, but it's been a long time ago. Thanks for the link — it was great seeing it again!
• August 12, 2010, Kristin writes: My computer geek hubby and I just laughed till we cried over these...especially Dilbert, who is just eerily accurate 99.9% of the time. Since you're a computer person AND a cat lover - you must check out this link that I stumbled across a few days ago. It's epic. And it's quite possibly the longest URL in the world, but it's worth risking carpal tunnel to copy and paste. :) http://blogs.catster.com/the-cats-meow-a-cat-and-kitten-blog/lost-cat-email-exchange-an-exercise-in-malicious-compliance/2010/06/24/ Rob adds: Glad to hear you enjoyed the post so much. My wife and I *loved* the lost cat thing. A reader sent it to me a while back as one long picture. I'm happy to know there's a site with it. Thanks for the link.
• August 13, 2010, Susan writes: My husband was a computer programmer in the USAF for 7 years, back in the Dark Ages of computers, the early 1990s. One of his jobs was fixing everyone's computer problems in the squadron, and most of the time they were along the lines of simply plugging it in! He was able to stop a practical jokester, who liked to come along and turn off computers without letting them shut down properly, by programming a simulated virus on the joker's computer that made it appear that all his files were being deleted. He was the squadron commander's assistant, and all those files that appeared to be deleted were personnel files for the entire squadron, which Sgt. Prankster had failed to back up! ;) My husband had great fun that day, and the joker never pulled another prank on a computer programmer. And he did back up his files. Rob adds: Thanks for the personal stories, Susan. That sounds like it must have been great fun for your husband, and it was clearly effective in getting the prankster to mend his ways. Smiling....

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My last post highlighted some bizarre things from the newpaper. The picture on the right could have gone in that post, but it seemed like the perfect way to start off today's post. Which one is the dog and which one is the owner in that picture?! Have you ever noticed how much dogs and their owners resemble each other? It's as amazing as it is amusing.

One of my long-time readers asked about some pictures that used to be in my funny pictures archive, no longer necessary with the blog. I'll post them today so that they become part of the blog archives. I'll look through that folder to see what else I need to put on the blog soon.

Here are six sets of pictures that do a better job than the newspaper article above did.

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

The preceding pictures were done by the folks at Cesar Dog Food. The following set of pictures wasn't.

#7

Which pair above looks the most alike to you?

Update on Nora: If you have prayed for our daughter, thank you. She has much to endure yet before her life can get back to normal. She finally got through to the doctor who gave her the epidural week before last and was told she could double up on pain medicine and come back on September 15th (!) for another procedure. Her boss, who is an orthopedic surgeon, got her an appointment with another doctor for this Wednesday to discuss surgery. The problem is not pain management, it's removal of the the pieces of the disc that are causing the pain, including the piece touching her sciatic nerve. In the meantime she is staying here with us. Her most comfortable position is lying on her stomach on the floor. She has occupied her time with several creative projects, including starting to blog. She misses her dog Paisley who has been staying with Nora's boyfriend during this time. Paisley has come here for visits a couple of days to help cheer her up. Here is a picture of Nora and Paisley:

They are both pretty, but I don't think they look much alike. In fact, with the silver hair, Paisley might resemble me more.

If you enjoyed the six pictures from Cesar dog food, you might want to look at a post from two years ago — pictures of children and their lookalike dogs.

Happy "dog days of summer!"

quotation...

"Lord, give me firmness without hardness, steadfastness without dogmatism, love without weakness." - Jim Elliot

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

My new dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a guard dog, but a vicious gossip.

Comments

• August 9, 2010, Michael writes: Tough call but I'll have to go with the blond and the golden retriever. Those pictures reminded me of a TV commercial from a few years ago for cholesterol medication in which people and their favorite foods were compared in how similar they looked. Kind of like "you are what you eat". Anyway, I would shudder to think of the dog that would look like me. Rob adds: Is that the one with the person who ate Cinnabons?
• August 9, 2010, Lisa writes: We have a neighbor who faithfully walks her wire haired fox terrier. It didn't take long for my daughter to say to me, "Mom, Miss Rose looks just like her dog." She really does too. Rob adds: Pictures???
• August 9, 2010, Jewel writes: We've been praying for Nora and hope she is able to find help for the pain soon. Looks like Paisley loves Nora just as much as she is loved, hm? :-) And I do believe I see a bit of family resemblance there in the hair color, as you said! :-) Rob adds: Thanks so much for your prayers for Nora. I think you're right about the resemblance. :-D
• August 9, 2010, Marilyn writes: Some dogs are like their owners in other ways than looks. Ours (now sadly gone to doggie heaven) would bow his head, close his eyes, and press his paws together when we prayed. And sometimes he would "peek" too! Rob adds: I think you're right, Marilyn. I can think of fussy little old ladies whose dogs are yippy little dogs and big bruiser guys who have big sturdy dogs. But once again, not always.
• August 10, 2010, Laura writes: Thanks for re-posting these! You've got a lot of treasures in electronic mothballs. Can't pick a favorite dog/owner pair, though . . . I think they're much more effective as a group instead of standing alone. Looking forward to seeing more "funnies" as you go through your files. Rob adds: I will rifle through the mothballs to see what I can do about the items languishing there. I agree about the pictures as a group ... pretty amazing ads Cesar came up with.
• August 11, 2010, Amanda writes: That's a hard question. I think I'll cheat and say all of them. :) I don't think either of my family's dogs could be said to resemble us. Anthony is a year old great dane and Wolfgang is a lab and and hound (?) mix (he looks like a lab that's been squished down and stretched out). Everyone in my family is short; Anthony not so much. Wolfgang is short, but I certainly hope my nose isn't as long as his (I hope I'm not as smelly either :S). They're both total goofballs who love people and naps, so I think they have pretty similar personalities though. Rob adds: Not knowing your family, I'll take your word for it. I would say, though, that you don't look like a great dane or lab/hound mix to me. :-)

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We live in an increasingly distracting world. Public speakers find that "attention grabbers" are useful and at times even necessary in getting their audiences to focus. Newspapers have to do this with headlines. Today I'm posting some headlines that grab the attention for one reason or another. I suspect that some of them were more arresting than the person writing them had hoped for, like the one on the right.

Here's one from this summer that makes you wonder if they understand what a tie is.

Even an elementary school student could catch the typo in this one, if he or she has learned the ditty "Capital M, I S S, I S S...."

I wonder if this is the first time this leader was referred to as he was in this headline....

This is news?!

I know scientists do some awfully strange things, but this defies any scientific method I've heard of.

Would any seagull haters like to weigh in on this one?

This woman has an unfortunate name to be in such a situation.

Councilmen seem to face all sorts of difficulties, including being short on time....

It's a shame this next victim was made to feel so small!

Someone might want to warn this guy's new lawyer!

Pesticides are not always effective, I guess.

If you recognize the man in this article, contact the police right away!

This article should help the police understand why some people aren't talking.

It seems as if Elvis is not alone, wherever he is....

Apparently the people of Plains, Georgia thought they had cause for great rejoicing!

Here's an example of why you have to read beyond the headline and catch the by line (circled in yellow highlighter.)

No good deed goes unpunished....

If you spot some good headlines, please send them my way! Any thoughts on today's headlines?

quotation...

"God knows what others need more than you do and why He's given you to them and them to you." - Chris Barney

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean

Comments

• August 5, 2010, Donna Lawrence writes: Don't get me started on seagulls! At the beach last week I was trying to eat a sandwich and one hovered 2 feet away and screamed in my face trying to get me to drop it! The next day, we huddled our chairs in a circle to eat and six of them surrounded us, pacing back and forth just in case. "Rats with wings" (Finding Nemo) about covers it! Rob adds: Donna, could you tell us your true feelings without being a racist homophobe? :-)
• August 5, 2010, Kristin writes: LOL, these are awesome! Especially enjoyed the Missippi headline ... I do love irony. Rob adds: Thanks, Kristin. Glad you enjoyed them.
• August 5, 2010, Stephanie writes: Despite "Mississippi" being misspelled, this is actually the way those of us in the South say it: Missippi. We don't generally talk fast unless it's a word with more than 2 syllables, in which case we just run it all together. I know, it's sad... Rob adds: I remember hearing that that is how it's pronounced by the locals and thought of that when I read the headline out loud. Thanks for confirming that one for me.
• August 5, 2010, richard writes: This is Hilarious! Where are the proofreaders? Were they sleeping? I agree the southerners might not have caught the Missippi mishap but racist seagulls I mean come on. Great laugh to start the day thanks! Rob adds: Glad you enjoyed the post, Richard. You do have to wonder if the economy has caused some newspapers to lay off their editorial staff. :-)
• August 5, 2010, Gerv writes: "Diana was still alive hours before she died" is from Private Eye, a satirical newspaper. It is lampooning the media's obsession with Princess Diana, such that they will find any excuse to print a story about her. Rob adds: Thanks for the clarification, Gerv.
• August 5, 2010, bet writes: Love these, Rob. I use these and others when I teach copy editing ...which I will do again this fall. I end up having more sympathy with editors than many noneditors, however. I know how easy it is to let some things slip through when you're editing lots of copy. Rob adds: After working many summers at the press as a proofreader/editor, I share your sympathy for editors. After reading something several times in the various galleys, when the book is finally in print, your eyes are draw almost like magnets to what you had read but not seen several times. I'm sure daily publishing deadlines of copy editors makes the process that much harder.
• August 6, 2010, Janis writes: Hi Rob thanks for the article! I found it from this website: http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2010/08/05/humorous-headlines Have a good day!! Rob adds: Thanks, Janis. That could explain things. Justin and Andy have quite a following. I was just amazed at how many times my post has been read in the past 24 hours!
• August 6, 2010, Michael writes: I believe I may have mentioned this in a previous comment, but writing headlines has more challenges than simply being succinct and arresting. You also have to fill the space allocated to the headline. Not only does it have to be short enough to fit in the space but it also has to be long enough to fill the space without lots of nasty white patches. That can often cause you to choose words or expressions that are awkward but that will just have to do. You also have to remember that newspapers are usually produced in a short amount of time so it may not be proofread as much as you'd like. Regardless, the innocent mistakes are the funniest. Rob adds: I feel their pain, Michael. But the unintentional humor is indeed the funniest.
• August 8, 2010, Lisa Creech Holt writes: Oh, M. Loach, I found your blog during one of my many insomniac moments. I have to say I miss your humor. Now, I'm giggling so much that I may never get to sleep. Rob adds: Lisa, it's good to hear from you! I hope you will follow my blog, either by e-mail or by RSS feed. We *must* get caught up soon!

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Hi! It's that time of the year again, and I need a small favor. I ask this only since we're friends, and not just on Facebook. We're going away on vacation and need someone to drop by to water our plants while we're gone. The plants are mostly geraniums and begonias. They're so pretty right now, and we don't want them to die while we're gone.

If it's not too much trouble, in this hot weather the ones in pots will probably need to be watered every day.

We'll be gone for only a week. Below is a picture for your reference of this year's plantings.

Thanks so much! We'll send you a post card for your kindness.

P.S. The ladder is in the garage.

Maybe you can use that to make your request for vacation help seem minimal to whoever will be doing you a favor.

Once I took care of some friends' pet birds while the friends were on a trip. When it came time to show me what needed to be done, they told me that they were looking in on their neighbors' house while they were in Florida for a few weeks. And so they needed me to look in on that house several times too, just to make sure everything was ok. Sounds simple enough, right? Read on.

Since this took place in the late 1970's or early 80's, small details of the story are unclear in this repressed memory of mine, but the main details are unforgettable. On one of my trips to our friends' neighbors' house, I found an enormous mess — things were broken and torn up beyond belief! There had been an intruder, but was he still there? I wasn't sure what to do since I did not even know the name of the neighbor family. I called the police who came and went through the house with me. A squirrel had gotten in somehow, come down through a wall, and was apparently trapped for a while in the drop ceiling. It had chewed through a ceiling tile and done all kinds of damage in the house before dying from who knows what. The police looked up the name of the family and figured out a way to contact them for me.

I felt terrible, but there really was nothing I could have done to avoid the situation. Watering the ton of flowers in the picture above would have seemed like a picnic compared to that situation!

Do you have any nightmarish stories of mishaps that occurred while you were taking care of someone else's house during their absence?

quotation...

"When things go well, it's not that we're so smart; it's that God is so good." - Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

I wonder how many venues I've been in throughout my life without even knowing it, simply because I had not yet learned the buzzword "venue." Now I'm struggling not to feel horribly cheated.

Comments

• August 2, 2010, Rebekah writes: We were watching a neighbor's place while he was out of state. Every day, his burglar alarm would go off, often more than once. He'd never shown us how to disarm it.... We finally got in touch with our neighbor's sister, and she helped us take care of the alarm. Rob adds: The first time that happened must have been alarming. Then just annoying.
• August 2, 2010, Michael writes: My friend was asked to take care of a pet tarantula once. The owner kept it in a glass jar without a lid "because there's no way he can get out." The spider required a steady diet of crickets. Murphy's Law, of course, dictated that both the spider and the crickets escaped into the apartment. Rob adds: You are a brave man, Michael! I'm not sure I could agree to do a favor like that. But then, I pick friends who have pets that are not so exotic. :-)
• August 2, 2010, Bette writes: In 1965 our son-in-law's parents (newlyweds) were housesitting for a wealthy couple who were on a European tour. A cooking fire destroyed their whole house. I've often wondered how they made that phone call. Rob adds: YIKES! This one will be hard to top, Bette!
• August 2, 2010, Margie writes: Our next door neighbors used to spend winters in Fla. They allowed the neighbor on the other side to use their garage while they were gone. Good Thing! One day he went into the garage to get his car and he heard water running. So he went in to find water gushing from their dishwasher! He was able to turn off the water source but water had already gone through to their basement. What a mess! When the couple returned from Fla they had their insurance company check it out and thousands of $ of damage had been done. Rob adds: Margie, that must have been a horrible experience. I wouldn't even want to try to imagine.
• August 2, 2010, Carrie writes: Wait, I come here for laughs, not heart failure! Bette, that is one of the most terrible stories ever. I did get a chuckle from your beginning story, though, Mr. Loach. Rob adds: I'm glad you specified my beginning story (which was not really mine), and not the wretched situation with the crazy squirrel.
• August 2, 2010, Sharon Klenk writes: More than 10 years ago, I was house-sitting for a friend from church. After I left for Wed. night prayer meeting, straight-line winds came roaring down through their yard. I came home - in the dark - to find one large tree down across their driveway. I parked the car off the road and climbed around the tree to get up to the house. There, I found that a smaller tree had fallen on their roof, breaking dining room windows and sending the inside three dogs into a panic! THAT was fun! :-/ Rob adds: THAT does not sound like it was fun, Sharon!
• August 2, 2010, Mary writes: My parents asked their pastor's teenage son to feed their dog and water their plants while they went on vacation. When they returned, the very sheepish young man confessed that he had picked up my dad's shotgun, and being a young juvenile male, had pulled the trigger. Thankfully no one was hurt, but there was a hole in the wall. Rob adds: I'm glad he didn't blame it on the dog. Phew! That one could have ended very badly.
• August 2, 2010, Beth writes: I have gone by to check on cats for friends, and I never had any problems besides one being missing (she was hiding and was there the next day.) I have had alarms for off when I went to clean a dentist office, and once as I was opening up a store. Alarms are such tricky things. My dad checks some homes for a gated community, and one time two winters ago, my mom noticed water coming from a garage. A frozen pipe burst and caused quite a bit of damage. They were able to get it taken care of. The owner had left for the winter, so it could have been a major problem. Rob adds: Both cats and alarms are tricky things, Beth. We've house-sat for people and have never seen the cats we fed for a week! Its sounding as if people in colder climates need to have someone check in in the winter time because of frozen pipes.
• August 5, 2010, Melanie writes: One of the towns in the county next to us is rather corrupt for a small rural town (think drugs and dishonest public service officials). This story took place quite a few years ago. People would go on vacation, so they would ask the police chief to check on their house to make sure everything was ok. Then when these people would come back, they would discover their house had been broken into and appliances and technology items had been stolen. Eventually, someone thought to check the police chief's house. Sure enough, they found tons of the stolen goods in his basement! He and another deputy were the culprits. They would let the items "cool off" in his basement for awhile before selling them. Rob adds: Melanie, are you safe in your county?

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Surgery was postponed. The first doctor who read the MRI thought Nora needed surgery. This morning the spine doctor wanted to try treating it with a steroid epidural and very strong pain meds first to give the ruptured disc the opportunity to heal on its own. She had the treatment this morning and is now resting. She may need to go back Monday for another treatment if this one was not enough. She was somewhat disappointed because she wanted the pain to be gone right away, but we are taking this step as from the Lord and praying that it might be enough without the surgery. Thanks so much for all your prayers and well wishes!

Today's post is a series of "doctor, doctor...." jokes.

Doctor, doctor, there's a lettuce leaf growing out my ear.
Hmmmm, I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Doctor, doctor, I have a strawberry growing out of my head.
Don't worry. I'll give you some cream to put on it.

Doctor, doctor, I can't stop singing the "Green, Green Grass of Home."
Sounds like you have Tom Jones syndrome.
Is it common?
It's not unusual.

Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
Why's that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.

Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out.
Can you give me something to keep it in?
Certainly — how about this little box?

Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me.
Next, please!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.
What's come over you?
Two cars and a bus!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon.
Sit there and don't stir.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a billiard ball.
Get back in the queue.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a deck of cards.
I'll deal with you later.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there's two of me.
Sorry. One at a time, please.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
I can't — I'm not allowed on the furniture.

Doctor, doctor, I've lost my memory.
When did it happen?
When did what happen?

Doctor, doctor, my little boy's swallowed a bullet. What shall I do?
Well, for a start, don't point him at me.

And then, where would doctors be without their "straightmen" — their receptionists?

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who says he has claustrophobia.
Tell him I'll try to squeeze him in.

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who says he's a kleptomaniac.
Tell him to take a seat.

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who says he has a very poor self-image.
Will you see him? Yes, put him down.

Doctor, doctor, there's a man out here who thinks he's invisible.
Tell him I can't see him right now.

We are so blessed to live in a time and place where such marvelous medical intervention is available to us!

quotation...

"Lord, give us crystal clarity about why we are alive." - Drew Conley (in a prayer)

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Comments

• July 30, 2010, Bill writes: Doctor, doctor, every time I drink hot chocolate I get a sharp pain in my eye. Next time take the spoon out of the mug.... Rob adds: Oh my! Thanks, Bill.
• July 30, 2010, Susan writes: Well, I'm so blessed she has waited. I know she's looking for relief. I have 4 herniated discs, I do PT, epdidural injections and exercise. It's always wise to WAIT!! This can resolve with time, especially with her being so young. Still praying in LA!!! Rob adds: Thanks, Susan. We are all waiting, though it's hardest for Nora. I wish I were the one going through this instead of her. :-(
• July 30, 2010, Michael writes: I'm sure the delay of the surgery was frustrating for your daughter, but back surgeries may relieve the pain but they never return the spine back to normal so if she can avoid surgery and still feel better, that would be great. It's nice to let the body heal itself if that's possible. Thanks for the doctor humor. Sometimes I wonder if doctors are interested in symptom relief or if they really are interested in healing what is wrong. Rob adds: Thanks, Michael. We had prayed for wisdom for the doctors. Your estimation of some doctors may well be right.
• July 30, 2010, Peter writes: Doctor, Doctor I'm having a recurring problem. Sometimes I think I'm a tepee and sometimes I think I'm a wigwam. You're too tense. Rob adds: Peter, that one is so painful that it makes me makes me feel better to laugh at it.
• July 30, 2010, Amanda writes: My mom has disk problems, so I know how un-fun back problems are. (At least enough that I hope my knowledge remains second-hand.) My mom has been able to get by 8 years without surgery, so there's hope! I'll try to remember to pray for Nora. :) Rob adds: Thanks, Amanda. We hope that surgery won't be necessary also. Time will tell.
• July 31, 2010, Carrie writes: One at a time, please. :) I like these! Rob adds: And you grew up in a medical-speaking home.... :-D
• July 31, 2010, Jewel writes: I pray that Nora is finding some relief from the pain with the injections, Rob. I've always followed a moderate path in dealing with my back issues, as has my doctor. I could have had surgery at different times, but elected not to because, in all honesty, I don't know of anyone who has had surgery and really gotten better or no longer had any issues with their back. We continue to pray for Nora. Rob adds: Thanks for the advice from your personal experience. I'll pass it on to Nora. Thanks especially for your prayers on her behalf.
• August 3, 2010, Tammy writes: Ouch on your daughter's back pain.I am one of those who have the t shirt been there,done that. Hopefully the injections will work. I had them and unfortunately they did not work. I was older than your daughter and I think that is the key to healing. A younger back heals quicker and better. Also everyone could tell you how the injections worked or not worked but nobody knows the extent of each other's injury. When the doctor was done with my surgery he told my husband the damage was far more then he thought and the surgery took longer as he had to scrape the spine and take away where it started to fuse. The worst part was after the scare tissue and the injections for that were way worse then the first set of injections. By the way 7 years after the surgery I am lots better. I was to the point of not walking straight, shooting pains all over or numbness. Rob adds: Thanks, Tammy. People have given us advice all the way from acupuncture and massage to total back replacement. (I'm exaggerating, but only slightly). We are praying for wisdom for Nora's doctors who know the type and extent of Nora's injury. You are right that every injury is different. So is every person's pain threshold. Nora's tolerance is pretty high, and she's miserable. So we know it's intense.
• August 5, 2010, Jon Wadsworth writes: Any word on how she's doing since the epidural? Prayin' for y'all Dad. Rob adds: It hasn't really touched the pain. She will be going for her pre-op visit this coming Wednesday. We will know a lot more after that visit concerning the timing of things. Thanks for asking and praying, Jon. Good to hear from you.

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Our daughter Nora has had intense pain in her back and leg this past week especially. She had an MRI this morning and is scheduled for back surgery tomorrow morning. Please pray for her as she awaits and faces surgery and for the surgeon as he seeks to remedy the problem. I will update you as soon as I can. For those who don't know her personally, here's a picture of Nora and her boyfriend Topher.

I'll pass on any words of encouragement left for her in the comments.

Rob

Comments

• July 28, 2010, Sherry DuBois writes: I don't know Nora real well, but I know and love you and Mme Loach. My prayers are with Nora and you all! Will look forward to rejoicing in what the Lord does! Sherry
• July 28, 2010, Judy writes: We will be uplifting Nora, Topher, and the rest of the family in prayer. We look forward to hearing how the Lord works in a wonderful way.
• July 28, 2010, Dennae writes: So sorry to hear of this trial. We'll certainly be praying for you all. Much love....
• July 28, 2010, Cindy C. writes: Will do. What are they saying? My daughter hasn't talked about pain but is having an MRI to check for tethered cord in her lower spine. Will keep Nora (and you guys, too) in our prayers.
• July 28, 2010, Scott & Cathy Gons writes: Cathy & I will begin praying for Nora's surgery and recovery. May God grant the surgeon wisdom to properly diagnose and remedy the problem with tomorrow's surgery. "I will cry to God Most High, to God who accomplishes all things for me." Psalm 57:2
• July 28, 2010, Dawn Kester writes: Please tell Nora our Love and Prayers are with her. Hope and pray surgery goes well and it will really take care of her back pains. I know she has had back pain/problems for quite some time. Definitely will be praying for her. And we will watch for posts to see how things are going for her.
• July 28, 2010, Lella Richards writes: I don't know Nora, but I do know her pain. I'm assuming it's a ruptured disc. I have battled this for some time, but have dodged having surgery. I'll be praying for her and looking forward to your updates.
• July 28, 2010, Susan writes: I'm so sorry to read this. I suffer with back problems and my heart truly goes out to her. Praying for a total healing!! Keep us posted~
• July 28, 2010, Kathy Pritchard writes: Please let Nora know we are praying for her--for peace and strength--and for the doctors to have unusual wisdom. Will look forward to hear how God answers. Kathy P
• July 28, 2010, Traci Hopper writes: We'll definitely be praying for Nora. She may not remember one of her babysitters =), but our thoughts and prayers are with her, the doctors, and your family.
• July 28, 2010, Doodie writes: Psalm 57:1 is one of my "go to" verses: "Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast." I love the picture of being in the "shadow" of His wings; I'll be praying for Nora.
• July 28, 2010, Ann Russell writes: How gracious our LORD is that we can place our trust in Him and His Word. We know that he hears all our prayers and works accordingly as is His will. We pray that the surgery will be a complete success and there will be no lasting anomalies in Nora's back nor pain. Thank you Jesus.
• July 29, 2010, Marilyn writes: Yes, we'll be praying, too.
• July 29, 2010, Michael writes: Will be praying for your daughter!
• July 29, 2010, Sam Brenneman writes: We will keep Nora in our prayers and pray the surgery is successful with complete healing. We will also be praying for her during the recovery period . Isaiah 43:2
• July 29, 2010, Vikki writes: From what I've heard, back surgeries aren't any fun. Yes, we will be praying for the surgery, for God to guide the surgeons, for no complications, and for a quick recovery. I'm so thankful we serve Jehovah Rapha, the LORD who heals.
• July 29, 2010, Uwe writes: Diana and I will join the prayers, too. May the Lord give you peace in trusting on Him that everything is in His hand(s). May the prayers be combined with faith. May everything be expected from Him first. We will be praying that Nora is calm in confidence, and the same for you. Very often such situations are the chances for the Lord to make something new in our lifes because we learn Him better know and grow in faith and confidence if we take it from His hands and agree. That means if we say "Yes, Lord" and let us fall into His tender hands. The Lord bless and comfort you all according to His way He only does in Godly manner.
• July 29, 2010, Jonathan writes: Prayed for Nora, will pray again. God is good.
• July 29, 2010, Paula Moreau Wiggins writes: Will be praying for Nora, Topher, and your family!
• July 29, 2010, Rhonda writes: We prayed for Nora last night at prayer meeting, and our family continues to pray as well. Keep us posted!
• July 29, 2010, Evelyn Matzko writes: Dear Rob, I do not know if you remember me or not but as I read about Nora today I wanted to let you know that I would love to greet your family tomorrow as you pass the Business Office on your way to Out Patient Surgery! I am a volunteer at the hospital three days a week and will be in the Business Office at 5:30 a.m. tomorrow morning ! I have never met your wife or daughter but have enjoyed your blague all these years and am praying for Nora and all of you! I will try to look for you as you pass our windows tomorrow morning, please try to look for an old lady in a pink coat! May the Lord be with all involved. Evelyn P.S. I looks as if I missed it by a day sorry. Rob adds: Thank you so much for you kind remarks, Evelyn. Becka actually spotted you busily working Wednesday morning when she and Nora were there for the MRI. The procedure was actually done at the southeastern neurosurgical and spine institute, not at Memorial.
• July 29, 2010, Rob writes: Thank you one and all for your kind words of encouragement, and especially for your prayers. We all felt the calm peace from the Lord this morning as we anticipated the procedure. Now we await His answers as Nora's body heals. You can read an update in today's post.
• July 29, 2010, Carol Giddings writes: Thanks for sharing with us. Isn't it wonderful that God hears our prayers far and wide. I will add my prayers to the many who are already doing so!
• July 31, 2010, Jewel writes: We have been praying for your precious daughter since reading of her back pain and upcoming surgery. I've had back problems for years, since my mid-twenties, and I know how debilitating it can be to be in constant pain. Thankfully, I have a wonderful, understanding husband who has been right there for me through the years and a God that is so faithful and steps in right on time with his strength and comfort. And I know He is there and will continue to be for your family and Nora. In Jesus' Name! Rob adds: Thank you so much, Jewel. She's seeing some improvement, but she has a long way to go to get back to normal activities.

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Is it hot where you are living? Here the temps have been hovering around the 100^° mark for several days, and it looks like the same for today. People are trying all sorts of things to cool off and to stay cool. We are blessed to live in a part of the country where just about everything is air conditioned, unlike some parts of the North where they don't have air conditioning because "they don't need it." (They need to remember the weather they're having right now the next time they say "we don't need it.")

One thing we need to do as we deal with the heat is to stay hydrated. Water is the best thing to drink, but when that becomes boring, here are some other beverages you could try ... if you can find them, that is.

This drink must be a Gatorade-type beverage.

A most unfortunate name, for us Westerners. Here's another very badly named beverage.

Here are some drinks whose flavors I would never have thought of.

If you prefer your drinks with a little "texture," this variety is also available.

While we're on the texture theme, here are several other drinks I found on line with a little je ne sais quoi added, just to make things more interesting?

Back to interesting flavors...

In China my wife and I tried, but did not finish, Icy Mint Sprite. There's just something about a lemon-lime drink with mint. Japan apparently has embellished some otherwise favorites also.

Here's a black lemonade — tastes like lemon-lime and turns your mouth black.

Jones Soda offers a huge variety of flavors. Here are some of their flavors for Easter time.

I remember hearing about this last one as a child, but never got to try it. Is it still available, other than in Asia?

Is Kickapoo Joy Juice kind of like Mountain Dew?

What do you do to stay cool in beastly hot weather? Do you have a favorite soft drink to recommend? The number of bizarre soft drinks I found online was mind boggling!

quotation...

"Am I living as I shall wish I had lived when I come to die?" - C.H. Spurgeon

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

Comments

• July 26, 2010, Laura LaRocco writes: When I was in Korea I tried a drink that basically tasted like a milk-ish something, but it also had rice bits in it. I don't remember what it was called... obviously it didn't make that much of an impression on me. :) On the other hand, I also tried a soda over there called "Milkus," which basically tasted something like a cream soda/punch. That was some of the best tasting stuff I've ever had! :) Rob adds: They have some of the most unusual items in Asia, don't they?
• July 26, 2010, Jenni writes: When I lived on Guam, they had Pepsi Fire (cinnamon flavored) and Pepsi Ice (mint flavored). While visiting Japan, I tried Calpis Soda. It is a milk based soft drink. Have heard it described as milk with Squirt, but it actually tastes much better than it sounds! :-) Another Asian drink with texture - Bubble or Pearl Tea. It has tapioca or jelly pearls in it. Rob adds: Those Pepsi products sound like they might taste pretty good. The milk based things ... umm ... maybe. We actually ordered and enjoyed pearl tea in China ... several times, in fact. In fact since then, we've ordered it here at one place and my wife made some at home. :-D
• July 26, 2010, Pip writes: I actually had Pocari Sweat! It's not bad :) Rob adds: I'm glad to hear you thought it wasn't all that bad. I guess it's just the name that makes me pause.
• July 26, 2010, Shelley writes: I grew up in the Detroit area where Vernors is made. My dad and I used to mix milk in the Vernors for a special drink! Rob adds: Shelley, have you ever had Vernors ice cream? Becka and I grew up with Vernors in NW Ohio also. It was the standard beverage whenever we had stomach upsets. You can actually get it here in the Greenville area, in case you get to craving one of your "special drinks." :-)
• July 26, 2010, Francois writes: About 20 years ago in Quebec, I bought what could be translated as "Spruce soda" or "soda épinette." I was curious about it, and it was disgusting. Imagine combining 7-Up with Vicks Vaporub... I'm not sure if it still exists, but I hope not :-) Rob adds: Francois, you are a brave man! :-D
• July 26, 2010, Sarah writes: @ Francois: I have seen soda épinette in Matane, QC, as recently as 3 or 4 years ago, so yes, it is still available. We bought a 2 L bottle once, and were not impressed. I think we ended up using it to make floats (with ice cream) just to use it up, and the ice cream at least made it palatable. BTW, our family rarely eats ice cream -- except when its super hot, when it becomes our preferred dessert. We live now in the NC mountains, where it rarely gets above 80, so we "don't need air conditioning." It has gotten close to 90 a few times during the past few days/weeks, but we manage to keep the house comfortable with fans, by pulling in cool night air via a window fan and turning off the fan during the day. We built it to be "passive solar," meaning it is set at a precise angle and windows and eaves are placed so that the sun can't shine directly in during the summer. In winter, it shines in through a big bank of windows and helps heat half the house. Rob adds: Sarah, thanks for the word about soda épinette. Do they drink it with poutine? ;-) That's great that your nights cool off enough to help during the day. When the temps aren't as high as they've been recently, the night time temps usually get down to the mid-70's to even the low 70's. That helps a lot. But in the last week, we've not gotten out of the 80's at night, with the temperature starting to climb fairly early in the day. That's how it used to be when we lived in Detroit and "didn't need air conditioning." Sleeping was not usually restful as we would wake up frequently, looking for a cool place on the sheets and pillow case.
• July 26, 2010, Beth writes: Thanks for the entertaining labels. I remember Fanta in Africa, and it was really great. The water brand was "AWA". I get in trouble if I ask for that now back in the States since no one knows what I mean. I also miss the cream sodas we used to get in Canada. There was a Crush brand that carried beverages similar to Sunkist. I've never tried it, but Scotland carries a carbonated beverage called Irn-Bru — http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irn-Bru I looked up the history online and they are quite competitive with the major Cola and Pepsi brands in Scotland. :) Rob adds: Fanta was a brand we knew here in the US (especially here in the South) and I've seen it in France. Never heard of Irn-Bru till now. Thanks for sharing that info from Scotland. My friend Phil and his son Andrew are touring Scotland this week. I'm eager to hear their impressions since I've never been there.
• July 26, 2010, Lynnette writes: As far as the pearl tea goes - the tapioca makes great ammunition! There was a smoothie place across the park from my home in NYC and we would ask for a side of tapioca to go and have tapioca wars on the way back home, as we walked through the park. Rob adds: Sounds like great fun, Lynnette. I would never have thought to use the pearls as bullets....
• July 27, 2010, Lydia writes: ah! what memories you bring back. when I lived in singapore, one of my favorite drinks was an aloe drink with jelly bits in it. It came in various flavors like grape and peach. I forget what it was called, but I totally forgot about it before I saw these pictures. See what we're missing here in America? I did find one of my favorite green tea drinks at Saigon Market, though. American iced green tea just doesn't taste good... Rob adds: Happy to have been of service to take you on a little stroll down Memory Lane. :-) My wife and I have started to enjoy Lipton's Diet Green Tea with Citrus this summer and find it refreshing. We're currently trying Kirkland's (Costco) knock-off of this beverage. I'll have to check out the green tea at Saigon Market. Which one should I try?
• July 27, 2010, Carrie writes: We "don't need air conditioning" up here in Fairbanks, AK, especially not this rainy summer! I think I'll go get a drink of water now. :) Rob adds: Could we send each other some weather for a week or so? I could go for some cool, rainy weather about now. You want some stinkin' hot, humid weather in exchange? Any unique soft drinks up there ... like something with whale blubber chunks? :-D
• July 27, 2010, Jewel writes: My husband prefers ice cold Sprite or 7-up in the midst of this summer heat and humidity, and I prefer a big mug of water over ice! :-) In lieu of either of those, we both like fruit punch combined with Sprite or 7-up over ice! Nothing too exotic for us! :-) Rob adds: Sounds good to me, Jewel.
• July 29, 2010, Kathleen writes: British soft drinks are in a unique category all their own. I see somebody mentioned Irn-Bru. Think of a bright orange bubble-gum flavored soft drink. Or then there is Dandelion and Burdock. My cousin said that it tasted like mouthwash. I think she probably uses mouthwash with a very unusual taste! For many many years, Dandelion and Burdock was the closest thing to rootbeer that was available to us. There is also ginger beer (somewhat similar to ginger ale, but better), lemonade (nothing like American lemonade), and a whole raft of other options. And then there is Moxie, which we were served in Vermont. Very different from any other soft drink I had ever had, but that was good stuff, especially when made as floats with coffee ice cream. And in Scotland, we don't need air conditioning. No quotation marks about it! :-) Rob adds: Thanks, Kathleen, for your perspective on this. In France "limonade" is like our 7-Up — a lemon/lime, carbonated beverage. Glad things are "cool" there in Scotland. :-D

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I didn't know that apple fritters grew on trees....

It should be obvious to most people that their presence behind these closed doors at the AP testing site is not desired.

One couple on a trip this summer thought this sign was interesting. You can click on the picture to read the small print at the bottom.

This game refuge seems to be rather hi-tech.

Someone spotted this multipurpose building.

Whatever this business is selling is a real panacea!

Here's a sign looking for a multipurpose person.

This sign was seen in a subway. A passerby liked it enough to write Yes! at the bottom.

Here's one from an airport shuttle bus in Beijing.

Don't say you weren't warned if this pole jumps out and hits you!

Here's one of the most unfortunate sign placements I've seen in a long time.

I'll end with one from a reader who visited Canada this summer. He saw this sign on the door of a one-person-at-a-time public restroom and named the picture he sent "Hurry!"

It seems as though laughing at that sign while you wait could make things worse for you.

Many thanks to those watching for funny signs for me. Keep 'em coming!

If you'd like to see some pictures of our completed kitchen projects this summer, check out this post on my wife's blog for some before and after pictures.

Here's a picture not in her blog post.

quotation...

"God takes saints and uses them in spite of themselves to be a blessing to others." — Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

If a parsley farmer owes money, can they garnish his wages?

Comments

• July 22, 2010, Michael writes: I always enjoy the ones translated badly from another language. It kind of makes you wonder what native speakers of other languages think when we transliterate from English into their language. We must sound very funny to them. Rob adds: Well, as one who has put things badly in several foreign languages myself, I can tell you that they react the same way — with laughter. I once told someone in Chinese that I was from America ... or at least, that's what I meant to say. But because my tones were wrong I said I was from "beautiful melon." There's something about seeing Chinese shoulders shake and not knowing what you've said that was so amusing.
• July 22, 2010, Diane Heeney writes: As a college student, I once thought I was saying I was embarrassed in Spanish, but in actuality I was telling folks I was pregnant! Yikes! Rob adds: My first trip to France I wanted to ask my relatives if they had room for me to stay with them (we had never met before). In my letter I told them I had no problem sleeping on the floor. After they got to know me a little and learned that I was not of a fragile temperament, they pulled out my letter, pointed at the ceiling, and told me they knew Americans were exceptional, but they were eager to see how I was going to sleep up there. I had used the French word plafond instead of plancher. Oh my!
• July 22, 2010, Carrie writes: I'd definitely like directions to the U Pick Um Apple Fritters farm! Thanks for another morning picker-upper! Rob adds: It's probably a good thing for me that fritters don't grow on trees. :-D

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Do you understand the "economy?" Or better yet, do you understand economists? In two earlier posts, I shared that I have a good grasp on personal finances, but maybe not so much on how the economy works, particularly the global economy. It's even more confusing to listen to the experts (economists) talk about it. They make what seems like good news sound dreary and what seems like bad news sound as though things are improving.

In my files I ran across some humor about economists and the economy. If we can't understand what economists are saying about a complicated field, at least we can enjoy a laugh or two at their expense.

A mathematician, an accountant, and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks, "What do two plus two equal?" The mathemetician replies, "Four." The interviewer asks, "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says, "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question, "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says, "On average, four — give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question, "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, "What do you want it to equal?"

Three economists went out hunting and came across a large deer. The first economist fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second economist fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third economist didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"

Here are a couple of cartoons that need no explanations from an economist.

This one says something similar....

A group of economists was hiking in the Alps. After several hours they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting distant landmarks, consulting his compass and the sun's location for that time of day. Finally he said, "OK, see that big mountain over there?"

"Yes," answered the others eagerly.

"Well, according to this map, we're standing on top of it."

The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist.

The Second Law of Economists: They’re both wrong.

Newlan's Truism on the Natural Rate of Unemployment: An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

Economist light bulb jokes:

Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: Seven, plus/minus ten.
A2: Irrelevant — the light bulb's preferences are to be taken as a given.

Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the existence of the ladder and one to change the bulb.

Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on the wage rate.

Q: How many central bank economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one — he holds the light bulb and the whole earth revolves around him.

Q: How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None — the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.

Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
A2: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would change itself.
A3: None. "There is no need to change the light bulb. All the conditions for illumination are in place.
A4: None, because,... look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter!
A5: None; they're all waiting for the unseen hand of the market lighting to correct the disequilibrium.

Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None — the market has already discounted the change.

Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?
A: All of them. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the AD (aggregate demand) to the right,....

Q: How many Wharton MBA's does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, if you hire me. I can actually change the light bulb by myself. As you can see from my resume, I've had extensive experience changing light bulbs in my previous positions. I've also been named to the Wharton Light Bulb list, and am presently a teaching assistant for Light Bulb Management 601. My only weakness is that I'm compulsive about changing light bulbs in my spare time.

Q: How many B-school (business school) doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'm writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about 5 years.

True story: The scene is a conference of professors of marketing.

The keynote speaker is an eminent economist. The chairman say, "I would like to introduce my colleague and friend. He's an economist, one of those people who turn random numbers into mathematical laws."

The economist, not to be outdone, replies, "My friend, here, is a marketer. They reverse the process."

Q&A about economists

Q: Why did the economist end up breaking his neck when he dove into his swimming pool?
A: He forgot to "seasonally adjust" his pool.

Q: What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with dementia?
A: The economist is the one with the calculator.

Q: What do economists and computers have in common?
A: You need to punch information into both of them.

Q: Why does God allow some people to become economists?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.

Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?
A: Too early to say.

One- and two-liners about economists:

The economy is affecting our children in ways we haven't even thought about....

It's not easy being an economist. How would you like to go through life pretending you knew what M1 was all about?

I asked an economist for her phone number ... and she gave me an estimate.

Two economists sit down to play chess. They study the board for 24 hours and declare a stalemate.

Two economists meet on the street. One inquires, "How's your wife doing?" The other responds, "Relative to what?"

I'll end with a final cartoon....

What are your thoughts on the economy and economists?

quotation...

"God is in the business of the impossible." — Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things.

Comments

• July 19, 2010, Ron writes: Kind of makes me wonder. Do economist and weathermen go to the same school? Rob adds: Good question, Ron. ;-)
• July 19, 2010, Michael writes: The comparison to weather forecasters is a good one, and I do believe weather forecasters are more accurate with their predictions. Economists are trying to predict what humans will do which is much less predictable than what the elements of nature do. Rob adds: Good points. You must know some of the same humans I do, Michael.
• July 19, 2010, Vikki writes: I remember taking economics (both micro and macro) in college and thinking them a total waste of time and effort. Maybe that's because I was an accounting major... It was all "If this happens, in theory, this or that could possibly be the outcome...or not. On the other hand, using these other charts and theories, just the opposite might be the result." Please, just give me factual, relevant data. It was also during the era of "stagflation" that I took economics which was blowing many long held economic theories out of the water and causing them to go back to square one with their charts and theories. And please tell me, why do they make the big bucks on guesses?!?! Being an accountant, I've yet to meet a practicing accountant who didn't hate their economics classes and vice-versa. Rob adds: Thanks for your honesty, Vikki. Wow! I would have thought that accountants would love econ classes.
• July 20, 2010, Vikki writes: Per you comment on my comment. Economics deals with theories and possibilities — accounting deals with facts. Totally opposite ways of thinking and looking at things. Rob adds: Thanks, Vikki. That makes more sense to me, the non-business brain. (Or is that monkey-business brain.) :-)
• July 26, 2010, Jonathan writes: You shouldn't be so hard on them. Economists have accurately predicted 7 out of the last 3 recessions. Rob adds: Jonathan, I'm sorry. I had no idea their success rate was that high.

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A religieuse is a made up of two glazed cream puffs, a smaller one atop a larger one. The most common fillings are chocolate pudding or coffee pudding. Some religieuses are good while others are just incredible!

British cuisine is not as highly regarded as French cuisine (is that the kindest understatement of the year?), but it still has its delicacies. In the picture below the dish on the left is steak and kidney pie, and on the right is fish and chips.

Japan is best known for its sushi.

When people think of China, Peking duck (left) and dumplings (right) often come to mind.

Although we enjoyed both of those greatly, several of our favorite delicacies were spun sugar potatoes...

... and chrysanthemum tea.

China and Asia in general are also known for what could be termed "indelicacies," most of which are totally unintentional. Written menus are one of the best sources of indelicacies through bad translations. Below are several.

The first soup listed on this menu makes me wonder what the real translation should be.

Here's another menu, without comment from me because it leaves me speechless.

Talk about indelicacy...

If you eat that, don't say you weren't warned on the package!

The names of some restaurants make you wonder....

I'm sure this next one might be fine, but the naming was unfortunate and most indelicate!

Some pleas for civility from tourists are very delicately and even beautifully phrased.

Some are a little less clear.

Some are not only unclear but also at least a little indelicately worded.

One of my readers sent me two tourist restroom signs from one of the most touristic sections of the Great Wall.

The next two are not Chinese, but whatever language they're in, the names of the "toiled" items seem inappropriate and/or indelicate for one reason or another.

Oh my! I can't think of anything to say that wouldn't be indelicate.

Do you have any favorite foreign delicacies or indelicacies?

quotation...

"You don't have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces — just good food from fresh ingredients." - Julia Child

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Home is where you hang your @.
With Wi-Fi available in so many places, is home still where you hang your @?

Comments

• July 15, 2010, LeAnne writes: On a package of kitchen knives: "Please keep out of pets and children." Not quite sure, but surely stabbing your children and pets would be considered indelicate!
• July 15, 2010, Michael writes: It's tough to beat a bratwurst with hot mustard on the streets of a quaint German town.
• July 15, 2010, Laura LaRocco writes: I think the language on the "Google" package might be Vietnamese. Not sure about the "Sit & Smile." Those names... oh dear... As for my own experiences with foreign "delicacies," I have so many food stories from when I was in Korea several years ago that it would take up too much space to mention them all here! Some highlights... One place we ate served whole fish (eyes still there) and whole baby octopi. I got maybe half of the fish meat with my chopsticks and passed altogether on the octopi. :) One week the team I was with ran a camp, using the facilities of a boarding school that was on break for the summer. They must have paid the school cafeteria workers to stay for that week, though, because all the kids were acting like what we were eating was typical "school" food. One meal I was happy to see some rather American-looking food, and I was happily munching away on (what I thought was) onion rings. One of the girl campers noticed and asked how I enjoyed what I was eating. When she heard me refer to them as "onion rings" she gave me an odd look and went to talk to one of the cooks. The girl came back and informed me that I was, in fact, eating squid rings. One more, also from the same week of camp. One particular morning we were served octopus tentacles as a side dish. I was doing my best to quietly avoid them when one of the campers (same girl as in the above story) asked if I was going to try them. So I did. It wasn't that bad, just a little chewy, and I said as much when the girl asked how I liked them. Then the girl made an interesting face and said, "Really? Mine weren't." I didn't eat any more of them after that....
• July 15, 2010, Melissa writes: Yay, Mr. Loach, I'm glad that you were able to use some of my pictures! I was curious how you were going to work them in, and I wasn't disappointed! :-)
• July 15, 2010, AJ Adams writes: I have a theory about delicacies. You see, the idea was invented when a group of people long ago got into a discussion about a certain type of food that they thought was disgusting. They sat around complaining, until someone got a bright idea: guilt trip foreigners who have no clue about what we normally eat and push this stuff off on them. If they grimace, we can call it a "delicacy" and make them feel afraid of hurting our feelings if they don't eat it. That way, the locals don't have to eat it and they can get entertainment from the weird looks of the foreigners as they try to keep the food down. That is how I believe the concept of "delicacy" came about. Although, I do like to be surprised when I actually like it :)
• July 16, 2010, Gayle writes: so I guess Julia Childs would have used FRESH "colorectal". Toooo funny!
• July 16, 2010, Carrie writes: Laughed out loud several times. Thanks for the exercise! :o)
• July 16, 2010, Susan writes: We have a large populations of Asians in Vancouver, which translates to a large population of Filipinos in our church. They love to try out there delicacies on us. The worst I've seen - but have no intention of trying - is balut: duck eggs with the baby duck boiled inside. Just can't get past the little duckie all curled up in there!
• July 16, 2010, Tim writes: Your recent post reminded me of a treat I had in Liberia -- bamboo worms. My friend here likes them raw, but I waited to have mine fried. Stay tuned to the next Dispatches from the Front dvd for a taste of West Africa! (picture added below by Rob):

  

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Do you have any pet peeves? I'm not normally a peevish person — in fact, I'm generally quite jolly. But my jolliness and my personal sanctification are put to their greatest tests when I am behind the wheel. I'm not the perfect driver, mind you, but other drivers sometimes do some of the dumbest and most dangerous things! And unfortunately it's often in my presence, driving me crazy.

Recently I ran across the following cartoon.

When I saw it, I thought about how often I have wondered the same thing — why do people swing left to turn right, thereby making their turn even sharper? I decided to sit down and write my pet peeves about other drivers. I'll post only a dozen today.

My pet peeves about other drivers:

1. Not paying attention — texting, applying make-up, shaving, etc.

2. Running red lights — not just "orange" lights, but very red lights! Are people thinking?!

3. Tailgating — young females seem to be the worst about this

4. Allowing children to climb all over the car, unrestrained — or worse yet, to ride in the bed of a pick up truck

5. Speeding up to keep me from changing lanes, ignoring my turn signal (Who knows what I might do if I were allowed to change lanes?!)

6. Pulling out from a side street, slowly in front of me, into my lane when there's no car in the other lane and no car visible behind me, causing me to slam on the brakes to avoid a collision when I have the right of way

7. Generally abusing the left lane — going slowly in the fast lane on the highway causing others to have to pass them on the right, or slowing down in the left lane before moving into the turn lane, rather than moving into the turn lane, and then slowing down

8. Weaving in and out of lanes of traffic, endangering others, only to get not really much further ahead, and usually ending up one or two cars ahead of me at the next red light

9. Two trucks side by side, both going way under the speed limit, jockeying for supremacy, with many cars held hostage behind them

10. Not pulling into the intersection when making a left-hand turn so that another car or two behind them can also get through that green light

11. Sticking out into the right lane, waiting to pull onto the street, making people in that lane swerve around them to avoid collision, rather than backing up so as not to be sticking out in the lane of traffic

12. Obstructing other drivers' view by driving a huge vehicle with darkly tinted windows — I call it "following a moving wall and being at the mercy of its tail lights"

My dear wife (my faithful proofreader) said that that sounds so peevish. I told her, "That's why they call them 'peeves,' Dear." What are your pet peeves behind the wheel?

quotation...

"Always remember — everyone of us is someone else's weirdo!." - Rob Loach

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Why is it that anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac and anyone slower than you is an idiot?

Comments

• July 12, 2010, Frank writes: Rob, my pet peeve is when I am #1 in the right turn lane, there is little cross traffic so I could turn right on the red light and be on my way, but the guy in the lane to my left failed to stop behind the white line, blocking my view so I cannot tell whether or not it is safe to proceed. Yours are good ones, too.
• July 12, 2010, Tracey writes: Oh boy, I bet you get heaps of replies to this iv ! It's a hot topic! And I'm in Australia so I had to translate the lane changes :) My peeves include: -being overtaken while doing the speed limit then having the same driver pull straight back into my lane (usually extremely close to me) and then slow down!!!!! -tailgating, especially by huge trucks - scary and very dangerous -lewd bumper or window stickers -drivers only using their indicator (turn signal) the second they swerve/merge/change lanes/ turn the corner, instead of using it to "indicate" their intentions -car stereos up so loud that the driver can't possibly hear anything else ie ambulance siren -being subjected to a car stereo bass from 2 kilometers away -drivers not understanding road rules. We have a huge problem with drivers not understanding the laws relating to cyclists on the road - very, very dangerous. -roadworks or something else up ahead - most people merge when the signs say to then endure the crawl of traffic until past the roadworks - it steams me to watch "entitled" people zip past everyone else and gain 30 car lengths, then try to merge at the last second!!!!!!!!!!!!! My time is just as important as yours, you inconsiderate child! There you go, I've had my vent.
• July 12, 2010, John Brian writes: And that is just the drivers in SC! Mine is the people who pass me on an on-ramp, pull up beside me, effectively blocking me from entering the lane.
• July 12, 2010, LeAnne Solt writes: This is hilarious! My husband could have written this entire post -- I hear about the stupidity of drivers nearly every time we're in the car. :) He might add one about general incompetency with turn signals. It seems we often get stuck behind the drivers who never use their turn signals when turning, and then leave them on forever when they're not turning. Great post!
• July 12, 2010, Brian writes: Rob, how apropos this post was to read first thing upon arriving in the office this morning! Are these in order of the greatest to the least? If not, your next post should tell us your opinion of that order! I think numbers 9 & 10 need to be way further up the chart! Also, how about adding this: Having the car in front of you hesitate to go at the light at White Oak and Wade Hampton TWICE! That light already only allows 4 to 5 at a time to go, and that's if everyone is ready to stomp it when the light turns green. This morning I was 5 cars from the light, but the car in front of me hesitated for a gooooood loooonnngggg time before moving after the car in front of it was already into the intersection, so we both missed that light, leaving her to be the first at the light for the next go around. The next turn, she did it again and she and I were the only ones that made it thru, me on yellow! Oh, and how about a second one - being the Greenville Traffic Engineering department who won't listen to the problems created by a change in the timing of a critical light for the morning traffic needs of one of the largest employers of citizens along Wade Hampton Blvd.! :-)
• July 12, 2010, Michael writes: Amen to #6! Another of mine is when drivers do not pull into the median to turn left but instead come to a stop in the left lane to turn across the median and the lanes of oncoming traffic. Another one is when traffic traveling in the opposite direction on a four lane highway stops for a stopped school bus. Here in SC the law changed a few years ago so that you are not required to stop in such a situation. I'm surprised there haven't been more accidents where people see a stopped school bus and plan on just driving through when suddenly the person in front of them slams on the brakes because they didn't know the new law and causing a rear end or chain reaction accident.
• July 12, 2010, Tony writes: Amen to everything you wrote! Here are two of my pet peeves: 1) Drivers that stop at a traffic light but do not pull up to the line, especially at intersections where the signals are camera-controlled or have sensors under the pavement. 2) Drivers that leave up to a full car length between them and the car in front of them when stopped at an intersection, especially when they are blocking access to a turn lane. For Spongebob fans (if there are any here), when I see this, I often tell my kids "Look! There's the Invisible Boatmobile!"
• July 12, 2010, Betty-Ann writes: We have experienced nearly everyone of these peeves. All very frustrating. #5 and Tracey's comment are particularly frustrating to my husband. We read a humorous comment by a child who after hearing her Dad call someone an idiot asked, "Dad, are you ever the idiot?" LOL Most likely we all have been at some time, even though maybe in error.
• July 12, 2010, Laura B writes: These were great . . . but if you think SC is bad, DO NOT go up the east coast. We went to NJ a couple weeks ago, and if I didn't have the little "spotting" mirrors on my side mirrors, I'd've been sunk. There's only about one car-length between vehicles moving at 50 mph, and it's NORMAL to have to squeeze in that size space at that speed for lane changes. YIKES!
• July 12, 2010, Vikki writes: Man, have you opened a can of worms! Some of mine are listed above. Probably most of my peeves come when traffic is backed up and the loonies are behind the wheel. Things like: Lane guarders during crawling bumper to bumper traffic and no one will let you change lanes to get to your exit. As if letting one single car in front of them will make that much of a difference. Sitting in a traffic jam for miles only to find it's an accident, well off to the side and, once getting up to the scene, the traffic is free moving. They weren't slowing down because of the accident, but to rubber neck the accident, hoping to see blood and guts. People who seem think the emergency lane is for their use when traffic gets slow. Or how about when my lane is ending and no one will let me merge into their lane. They look straight ahead and pretend to not even see me. Merging onto a highway and no one will let you in. Getting behind someone who is going slow, then fast, and kinda weaving around. There was a day when we used to peg them as possible drunks. Now they are often talking on their cell phones! And let's not even bring up someone reading a book!! And the list goes on.........
• July 12, 2010, Kris Stephens writes: I can totally relate! I especially liked the final observations about maniacs and idiots. I've said something similar, but in an alliterated version. "There are three categories of drivers: Maniacs. Morons. and Me!" ;-) I guess it's our pride that leads us to think that "we" are the ultimate standard of proper driving!
• July 12, 2010, Jonathan writes: A co worker told me that if you randomly slow down and turn on your left blinker tailgaters give you plenty of room. It works. Maybe on your future list of pet peeves you will include people who randomly slow down and turn on their left blinker.
• July 12, 2010, Skip Hughes writes: 4 pet peeves -- 2 driver, 1 highway design, and 1 misc: 1. Stopping waaaaay out in front of the wide white stop line at stop intersections, sometimes a full vehicle length or more into the intersection, so that traffic has to veer off course to avoid a collision. 2. Improper turns at multiple-lane intersections . i.e., not staying in the same lane when making the turn, but crossing multiple lanes directly to the opposite side. Several scenarios come to mind. 3. Intersections that do not cross at right angles!!! My old head can't swivel 135 degrees to check for oncoming traffic, and turning my vehicle so that it stops at a 90 degree angle to the roadway isn't always possible. 4. Tall grass, shrubs, terrain and signs that block the view of oncoming traffic at stop intersections. Stick you nose out too far to get a good look and you risk getting hit -- or "peeving" other drivers.
• July 12, 2010, Barbara H. writes: I could echo most of these. Some of the red light runners that bother me most are the ones who seem to think if they stick very close to the car in front of them, it's ok to keep coming through the intersection no matter what color the light is. I've seen as many as 3 cars come through in close caravan style AFTER my light has turned green and theirs has turned red. And I really hate when I am trying to change lanes, there is plenty of room, I flip on my turn signal -- and the car in that lane speeds up so now I can't make it. I call that and the driver who zips in front of me only to slow down and turn the "me first" syndrome.
• July 12, 2010, Heather writes: @Laura B. Once you get used to driving like that, it's not so bad because most of the drivers are actually paying attention to what's going on. Most of them. These days I drive with rural Marylanders -- they go 45 mph. They could be going through a school zone or on a highway, but exactly 45 mph is all some of them will do. Bless their hearts. The (mostly male, Chevy-driving) tailgaters are probably out-of-towners.
• July 12, 2010, Diane Heeney writes: --People who use their turn signal to indicate what they are in the *process* of doing, rather than what they intend to do. --Dogs in the back of a pick up...or on a flat bed. Just hit the brakes hard one time and see what happens! Some justify it if they are restrained...but I've heard of dogs choking to death that way when they tried to jump out. --Texting and driving is against the law in WY. But we saw someone using a small laptop while driving...yikes. --This isn't really a "driving" one...but seeing folks leave their pets in a car on a hot day drives me nuts.
• July 12, 2010, Diane Heeney writes: Tony...if you are ever behind me in traffic and I stop way behind the vehicle in front of me, it may be because it is a diesel and I can't stand having that stuff pumped into my air vents. :P Also, not a peeve but rather an observation. My Dad often noted what he used to call the "hurry up and wait" phenomenon. The person who just cannot abide going a click above the speed limit and simply must blast past you in such a way as to make a statement...only to find himself sitting inches in front of you at the next traffic light.
• July 12, 2010, Ron writes: You know if it wasn't for other's driving habits not matching up to my expectations of how I think they should drive I wouldn't have anything to talk to myself about when I'm driving alone. Seriously, I don't know why everyone seems to be in such a big rush they only end up like Diane said "sitting inches in front of you at the next traffic light."
• July 12, 2010, Vikki writes: Just a comment for Laura B and Heather. We lived in the Chicago suburbs for almost 30 years, so I know what kind of driving you're talking about. You do get used to it and, yes, people do know what they're doing and where the boundaries of their cars are (at least for the most part). In some areas, the only way to even get into traffic is to gun it when you see even the slightest gap between cars, like 2 car lengths instead of the usually 1-1/2, (that is unless you want to just sit there for hours waiting for a break in traffic). It's just the way it is with so many drivers on overcrowded highways and you do learn to deal with it. We have family in Wisconsin (where we grew up) and when visiting we would have to keep reminding each other that we weren't in the Chicago area anymore and to try not to scare the Wisconsin drivers half to death with our driving. Unfortunately, I'm sure we did a number of times. A few weeks ago we were at my daughter's in a small town in WI and turned left on to a road because the coming car was almost a full block away. Plenty of time, right? She started laughing and said we had probably scared that poor person to death because no one around there would have pulled out unless the car was 2-1/2 to 3 blocks away at the the very least. Oh, and the speed limit was only 25, but everyone drives 15-20. The most hair raising driving I've personally seen was when we were in St. Thomas. It's filled with 1-1/2 lane roads and completely blind turns where the drivers have to beep their horns continuous all through the turn trying not to be hit. We were with a group, so didn't actually do any driving while there, but in the 5 days we were there, we saw quite a few accidents being cleaned up. The accident rate is so bad that the police department has their own wreckers. We started looking for cars without dents and could only find a handful of them. I'm told that the Philippines are even worse because no one follows the traffic rules.
• July 12, 2010, Elizabeth writes: How about people who turn the opposite direction from their turn signal? :)
• July 12, 2010, Laura writes: How about drivers that try to change lanes without looking first? This actually happened to me recently... I was driving my husband out to his job, and a van in the lane to my right started to pull into my lane. Two problems: one, he didn't use his turn signal, and two, he didn't check in his side mirror and/or over his shoulder to notice that my husband and I were there, and he very nearly crashed into us. I slammed on the brakes and the other driver noticed just in time to avoid a collision, thankfully. That incident served as a reminder to ALWAYS look before changing lanes and also to be thankful that the Lord is there to protect us from these things!
• July 12, 2010, Jason Harper writes: On a side note, I read an article recently saying that California was considering adding LCD panels on their license plates for advertising purposes. The idea is that when the car is stopped for a few second, a video would play on the plate. Even still.... I think that'd be insanely distracting and just adding to traffic troubles. My biggest pet peeve is 18-wheelers who drive like they're a teenager in a sports car. Why is it always the bad trucks that don't have the safety call-this-number sticker on the back? One time there was a guy so bad I even slowed down to get behind him to get the number to call, and he had scratched out the last four digits!
• July 13, 2010, ROY writes: I followed someone in a red pickup truck one time who engaged his left turn indicator "indicating" an upcoming left turn and then promptly turned right. The "dyslectic" French professor I believe. Also just recently overheard a conversation confirming that this French professor does this on a regular basis. There just seems to be too many dangerous people on the road these days!! :-)
• July 14, 2010, Susan writes: Oh, my husband could have written this post! LOL He gets really wound up in traffic, and we have some bad traffic here in Vancouver. My pet peeve at the moment is people talking on cell phones when it's against the law. My husband was almost hit head-on yesterday by a driver who swerved into his lane . . . she was on her cell phone and not paying attention. Another one is drivers who refuse to merge with other traffic till the very last minute and then push their nose into the lane, forcing their way in. We do a lot of waiting in lines and merging around here. We all have to wait in lines, and I don't understand why some people think their business is so much more important than mine that they can ignore the merge signs and force themselves into the lineup where it's already bottlenecked!
• July 16, 2010, Gayle writes: Mine is drivers who try to be "nice" and wave you on at a 4 way, or such when it is clearly their turn instead. Just obey the rules of the road and don't try to confuse people! Don't they realize if there's an accident it is MY fault, not theirs. I won't take them up on it, I wait until they realize I'm not going to be swayed by their "kindness" because I view it as dangerous.
• July 18, 2010, Rob writes: @all - This one got away from me in the number and rapidity of comments. I thank all of you who added your personal pet peeves. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one driven crazy by the things other drivers do. I fear sometimes, though, that I may be guilty of some of the same things myself, unwittingly and unintentionally. I would like to clarify for Elizabeth and Roy that what they described might be the result of some crossed wires ... somewhere.... It seems to happen, though, only when the driver you describe knows the driver behind him personally and when the driver is certain that what he's doing has no impact on anyone else. It's especially fun to do when leading someone to a place they do not know how to get to. I've done it on two continents. Fortunately I never got to/had to drive in China. Those drivers need nothing to make them any worse! :-D

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How connected are you? If you are reading this you probably either have e-mail or can go online. Do you remember the days before the Internet, e-mail, and cell phones? Do you feel closer to people now, or do you long for the closeness you enjoyed back then? For millennia people sat around and talked to each other. Now kids sitting in the same room text each other. Or they're all on laptops, doing their own thing, telling the others about something cool they've found, but not being heard because everyone else is so engrossed with being "connected."

As much as people talk about being connected, it often seems as if they actually seek ways to evade each other in public. The avoidance might be unintentional, but the phenomenon is worldwide. The Japanese actually have a term for teenagers who withdraw completely from social contact with others — hikikomori. I routinely see pairs of students walking along or sitting beside each other, both of them texting someone else instead of enjoying being with the one nearby.

Though I can't recommend the source of the following as a regular diet, the cartoon does show clearly the unintentional aspect I just mentioned.

In his quest to be "connected," the poor guy in that cartoon wasn't connecting with the one near him, and probably as a result, she totally disconnected from him.

Technology and gadgets allow us to be in touch with people all over the world, some of whom we don't even know. For instance, I have no idea how many people who have never met me read my blog posts and know all sorts of things about me. And that's okay because, knowing that my blog is available to anyone with Internet access, I'm very selective about what I put "out there" about my family and me. Yet my blog is a handy tool for sharing our news with people who do know us and enjoy hearing what's happening in our lives.

Speaking of lives, many people are familiar with the idea of the "circle of life" that shows the various aspects that make up a person's life. You can find different versions of it, but here's one I found in several venues.

I ran across another version of that circle that is relevant to those who might be overly connected.

I must not be as connected as I thought because there are several of those icons that I don't recognize at all.

Some people are so dependent on social media that they often don't deliver personal news personally. They assume that everyone knows their news because they've "updated their status" online. I guess that's the downside of not being connected enough. Here's an example.

With today's social media, I have to wonder whether there isn't too much information about us "out there." (Have you ever googled your name?) Every day we hear about privacy concerns and stolen identities. How much information is too much? Do I need to know what someone ate for lunch? Do I need to let the whole world know ___ (fill in the blank) about myself? Is everyone as interested in me as I am? Easy connection carries with it the danger of feeding our natural narcissism, and that's not something we really need help with. I've read several articles lately on how narcissistic people are becoming. The following cartoon is a good one about that.

When Facebook friends find out I didn't see their latest status update, they seem disappointed in my seeming disinterest. It's a simple fact, though, that I don't have the time to read all the news feeds from my 1,200+ "friends" on Facebook. It's not that I don't care — I just don't have the time to read all that news. People have asked me why I don't have Twitter. If I can't keep up with Facebook, why would I ever add Twitter to my life?! In this "information age" we're bombarded with so much information, personal and impersonal, that it amounts to nothing more than noise.

Technology has made it easier to connect with others, and I do love that aspect of the tools. Yet I do not believe that connection = closeness. Realistically, we don't have the time and/or the emotional energy to maintain deep relationships with very many people. As our relationships broaden, they inevitably become more shallow. Is connection becoming a poor substitute for real communication? Are we connected without connecting?

I have to say that just after publishing this this morning, I went on Facebook to post a link to it. While there, I did Facebook chat with a young cousin in France and learned that he and his wife have a second baby, that his wife's maternity leave is almost up, and that his dad had had a pacemaker installed. I learned also that his dad (widowed for quite some time) remarried in April of this year and that the family likes his new wife (also widowed with two kids the same ages as my cousin's two adult children.) All that by connecting with a young cousin who is a Facebook friend that I saw was also on Facebook at the same time as I. Not bad, huh? Those who get the e-mail version of my posts won't know those bits of information unless they come read it on the blog itself. But will their lives be impoverished if they don't? Probably not.

I would not want to go back to the days before technology, but I also want to be careful that technology is my tool and not my master. Is that a battle for you too? What are your thoughts on "connectedness" vs closeness? Is my thinking on this off-base? I think the comments to this post could be very interesting.

quotation...

"Wouldn't it be great if the worst thing those who work with you can say about you is that you're a little too devoted to God?" - Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Sometimes I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Comments

• July 8, 2010, Paulette writes: I agree with you. I have reconnected with so many people I used to know. But I still find that I miss the times when my family would sit around and actually talk. Now with texting, I can go for a long time with out actually speaking to some members of my family. Although I enjoy the technology, I miss the closeness.
• July 8, 2010, Vikki writes: When growing up we had none of this kind of stuff - just TV to mindlessly entertain us. I think we played together, outside a lot more because of it and were probably healthier for it. I know, with the advent of computer games, our kids didn't play outside as much as we did, but they did play the games together. Now with texting and the like, they don't play together as much. Ah, advancements in technology in making our lives better... I must confess that I am on Facebook, but that's all, and only recently due to pressure from our kids. With all of our 4 married children living in Wisconsin, and us in South Carolina, I can keep track of what's going on in their lives and see regular updated pictures of our 8 grandkids. If it weren't for that, I probably wouldn't be on it at all. However, I have been able to get reconnected with several old friends through Facebook, so that's also a plus. As far as cell phones, until about a year ago, my cell simply lived in the car and was used only when necessary since it was about 8 years old and was only a phone - no camera, no texting, etc, and still had an Illinois number. At only around $20 per month, we couldn't justify the additional cost of upgrading it. We finally got sick of having to make a long distance call (of which we had only 120 min. per month of) each time we wanted to use it, so we bit the bullet and got a local number and new phone. Now I have texting and a camera too. It's allowed me to keep in touch with my sister better (also living in Wisconsin).
• July 8, 2010, Michael writes: Amen. One of the reasons my wife and I deactivated our Facebook accounts is that it just took too much of our time. We can spend our time doing other things that are much more profitable. And, much of what is out there on social networking sites is banal. The exchange you had with your French cousin is a great example of how to use the new technology to our advantage. Great point about it needing to be our tool and not our master. I believe there is great potential for good with the new technology but it can be a great source of problems. Additionally, communication is more complex than we think. There is no substitute for face-to-face talking. You can see their face and hear their tone. You can also immediately ask questions back to determine whether you understood correctly. Talking on the phone is my second choice for communicating if I can't talk face-to-face. These new technologies just encourage us to be lazy and not do the hard work of actually reaching out and connecting to people. Remember the old AT & T slogan? "Reach out and touch someone." That's what we should be doing these days. But, rather than doing the courageous thing and talking to people face-to-face to give them hard news, we instead cowardly send an e-mail or a text to protect ourselves.
• July 8, 2010, Alicia writes: Sometimes I've wondered if anyone else feels this way! I love the ease of catching up with old acquaintances and the convenience of our technology but it drives me crazy to see people neglect the real people all around them so they can obsessively check their phones and keep up with all their "friends." With a few rare exceptions, my rule is that the person I'm with takes priority. I can return phone calls, texts, and emails later.
• July 8, 2010, Becky P. writes: I've felt exactly the same was as you about twitter! Why would I want to know what 2 or more people are saying (even if it is short) about any given conference, trip, their throughts, etc, at any moment? Give me a break! The only thing I could possibly want would be for my twin sister who is currently on her 25th anniversary cruise to AK to post twitter updates..maybe a couple a day. But I don't know how to use twitter and don't really think I'm missing out by not using it. Someday I'll catch up by looking at her pics. I can't believe people are THAT interested in what others ate for dinner...even if they did it in NY City. Are people's lives so boring that they have to vicariously live through others? I'm simply too involved in life to keep up that close with others. BTW, I only recognized the google reader feed, fb and twitter logos in the above circle. But I do feel closer to many people that I did when we first came here, 16 years ago. I was very lonely. I love connecting with people now--esp. family. At first we had no phone or internet, of course, so life was a bit solo. I prefer it now. But it can consume too much time. But I love being able to keep in touch! I also like to go "off the grid" when I travel and remain completely "in the moment" of the travel and not trying to be where I am and back home at the same time. I think it frustrates some, but I prefer it that way. It makes the travel so much more enjoyable if I can actually focus on the moment instead of all the news from "back home" and keeping everyone up-to-date with everything from every day. It makes it hard to enjoy the trip. But I like it when others do. :)
• July 8, 2010, Casey writes: I agree with the post and all of the comments so far. I am sick of people constantly checking their phones and ignoring the people they are right there with. Often, at work, we will all be instant messaging each other when we are only 10 to 15 feet apart and no one is talking out loud. Personally, I prefer talking face-to-face, with phone conversations coming in second. Michael's comment made me think of an old slogan from my youth. I used to live in New York State and the phone company's slogan was "We're all connected: New York Telephone." Eventually, they were bought out by AT&T with the previously mentioned slogan "Reach out and touch someone."
• July 8, 2010, Bette writes: I love Facebook for sharing pictures & IMPORTANT news. Many are using it as a "spiritual tool" by what they post...good job. I love the ease of texting to get a message out quickly. Some times you just need a message out there without the personal connection. HOWEVER, I agree with #3 Michael's post...face-to-face is always best. You can best decipher another's opinion, emotions and reaction when chatting eye to eye. Yes, it takes effort but everything worthwhile does take effort. Another great, thought-provoking post, Rob!
• July 8, 2010, Joy Boudreau writes: EXCELLENT COMMENTARY! and yes, i mean all caps!
• July 8, 2010, Gayle writes: I love being connected with family on Facebook! I'm from a large family of 8 children - our growing families (26 children) and now their children (over 30) can be challenging to keep up with. Facebook has been a great tool and allows a great access to pictures and chatting all over the U.S. and at this point 3 foreign countries.
• July 8, 2010, Karen M. writes: Good evaluation of today's world and the disconnectedness. My adult life was spent in Illinois and my mom lived in Michigan. We wrote a letter to each other every week. I loved getting her letters for several reasons...I could sense her essence in them, the letters were so newsy -- no one else in my family wanted to read about how her favorite rose bush was growing -- but I did! and I could carry her letter with me to read again and again. In her later years, I began saving letters as I knew I would not be getting any more. Often I go to the mailbox now and wish there was a real letter sitting inside waiting for me to drink in its words, its personality, its love. I can't stand it when I am with a friend and our conversation is continuously interrupted by her cell phone. Ugh! None of which is important. Turn off the phone when you have the privilege and opportunity to spend time with a REAL person.
• July 8, 2010, Wendy writes: Oh my goodness, Rob! You have hit the nail on the head with this! I have observed this tendency with my own children and their friends. It has been a topic of discussion in our home and any electronic devices are not allowed at the table and if they hear a call, they may not go answer it. I am GREATLY concerned that we are turning into a nation of no closeness - you have voiced my concerns exactly. I anticipate that if I ever end up in a nursing home some day, my cries will not be heard because they will have their ipod plugged into their ears (or some other device at that point) and if they DO hear me, they won't come right away because they need to finish their text first. Scary thought. I believe people are becoming too self-absorbed. Thanks for your thoughts on this phenomena.
• July 8, 2010, Carrie writes: I agree too. What more can be said than your excellent article and the insightful comments. . . Well, my husband and son just walked into the room, so I'd better connect with them!
• July 8, 2010, Heather writes: I realize this comment will look like a square peg in a round hole, but I have difficulty comprehending what all the fuss is about. Personality and cognitive style plays a large role in how one sees the world. Most of the statistics I've seen show that a large majority of the population is made up of people who think in a concrete fashion; most concrete thinkers would prefer physical proximity to an internet connection that somehow feels real and unreal at the same time. The minority is made up of people who think in an abstract fashion. We're the ones who would sign up for a class in Platonic metaphysics for fun. :) I believe most extroverts, who gain energy from social interaction, would also prefer close proximity. But introverts, who spend energy during social interaction (shyness, by contrast, is lack of confidence--even extroverts can be shy) might be more open to physical distance. I personally am often overwhelmed by a social gathering; there is so much going on verbally, non-verbally, and emotionally that I frequently either shut down (kind of like when your computer crashes) or escape to a corner to sort things out. But an internet forum gives me time to collect my thoughts and figure out how to communicate them intelligibly. But I assume that when you say "closeness" you refer to more than physical closeness. I assume you mean emotional closeness? Here, too, personality and thinking styles come into play. I have trouble with emotional closeness as most people think of it. Similar to the social scenario above, if I pick up too many emotional signals, I shut down because I don't know what to with them. I have difficulty empathizing with them--not usually stereotyped as a female problem, I realize ;)--and since it seems that seems to be the expected reaction, I manage to inadvertently erect a psychological barrier. To me -- and to a few others like me -- I feel close to people when I know how they think about things. Most of the conversations I have with people talk about somebody's new curtains or what their kid did the other day. I certainly have nothing against such topics, but I don't feel any closer to them after the conversation than I did before. I'm not sure how to say this, but that's the sort of thing I can keep up with on facebook. To really get inside someone's head, I would be more interested in why they picked green curtains instead of blue ones (I mean besides the obvious reason of matching the rest of the decor!) What direction do you conjecture your kid might take five or ten years from now based on the cute thing he did yesterday, and especially based on his particular pattern of doing cute things? This kind of closeness doesn't require proximity or even a large array of emotional signals. I don't know how much sense I'm making, but I suppose it does illustrate my point -- we "misfits" have the same trouble making sense of your world. I'm not trying to be critical, but to point out differences. But if I had to make a judgment on it, I would say your way is probably a healthier way.
• July 8, 2010, ROY HOOPER writes: Hey Rob, A great blog post...so timely. Your perspective is a needed one. Thanks for the thoughtful insights. "Do I need to let the whole world know ___ (fill in the blank) about myself?" That statement reminds me of a song a heard recently. We do need to let the whole world know, BUT not about "myself" because it's not about me. It's all about Jesus and what he did for mankind on the cross. Relationship (connectedness) to Him is of eternal importance.
• July 9, 2010, Alison writes: I could not agree more with your post! You have very succinctly expressed many of my own thoughts and concerns re: recent technology, communications, and social media. I have had these conversations with my family and intend to pass on your post to several of them. I love email and so on for communicating with my children and siblings who are across the country and the world, but miss the depth of conversation that occurs in person, as well as all the non-verbal cues. I have also noted that shallow forms of communication seem to be consuming much of the time needed for establishing and maintaining deeper relationships. That being said, there are times and situations in which I prefer to communicate by email, as it allows me to process what has been said and consider my response to it. Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts in this area.
• July 9, 2010, Laura B writes: This is a great post for generating interesting comments! The comments have been as interesting to read as the original post. Our pastor challenges us each year to read our Bibles through, and this year I realized I'd never have enough time if I didn't set some other things aside (less news + following fewer blogs = more time for really important activities). Looking at long-range benefits of various activities has been a big help to me. It seems like a lot of the "technology" topics in this post are really a matter of the [misplaced] importance folks set on them. Cell phones: had to get one when our DD was staying with grandparents out of state for medical appointments . . . but it's one of those plug-in-the-minutes-with-a-card ones, and only we & the grandparents have the phone number for the most part. It would rule us otherwise. This way, it only interrupts for important stuff. Other connections: we took up ham radio this year at the suggestion of my uncle. Had no idea in advance what a good way it would be to reach out to others outside our normal "sphere," but like anything else, it needs to be controlled. It was a good way to pass the time during a long car trip recently. @Heather~ I don't think you're a misfit, and I understand how you feel about big groups. I like to know the "why" of things, too, and I tend to be a "watcher." As a family, we tend to avoid crowded events, because we have children who get overwhelmed by that kind of thing . . . and "backspace" & "delete" are my favorite keys on the keyboard, because they give me the freedom to say what I really want to with fewer regrets & misunderstandings afterward. But face-to-face contact (with an individual or small group) is my favorite thing. I like visual feedback, so I feel like I'm missing out on valuable information when I'm looking at a computer screen or just listening by phone or radio.
• July 12, 2010, Elizabeth writes: This is a really good posting. Good points and I don't have a lot to add to what has already been said other than to say I identify with Heather--I am an introvert by nature and get "sensory overload" way too easily. I am misunderstood a whole lot more by what I say in person than by what I write. We live in a culture that thinks being an extrovert is "good" and being an introvert is "bad," and issues such as these show that bias. We have to be careful that we do not respond to our natural inclination in a wrong manner, such as an introvert withdrawing from people.
• July 14, 2010, Susan writes: I must not be as connected as I thought, because I don't have any problem talking to the people around me. We are a big computer family, and we enjoy using all the little gadgets. I love connecting with extended family on Facebook, but I still pick up the phone and call my parents. I keep up with my college-age sons on FB, but we still talk on the phone several times a week. My daughter talks to her friends via texts, but they also get together regularly for outings and such. I think maybe balance might be a key to using technology, at least for our family. Good post!
• July 15, 2010, Rob writes: Wow! The comments on this one took off and kept coming faster than I could reply. I'll just say that so many have made such great comments that are wonderful additions to anything in the post itself. Thanks to all who've weighed in on this one. It's been interesting to read even how personality types enter into this whole discussion. Each of us has to work at it to make the most of the strengths and minimize the weaknesses inherent to his personality type. Thanks again for all the perspectives added in the comments!

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Cats seem to be one of those creatures that people either love or hate. Becka and I enjoy our cats very much. Their being in the house causes extra work for us, but name a house pet that doesn't cause extra work. Our cats have had to endure some turmoil this past week as our white vinyl kitchen floor was replaced with porcelain tile. You can read about it and see pictures on Becka's blog. The cats seem to have come through it all unscathed and happy to be back out from under the bed.

I looked through my files to see what I have on the subject of cats. Today's instant vacation is a few things I've never posted.

Ten definitions of a cat:

1. a lap warmer with a built-in buzzer
2. a four-footed allergen
3. a small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist
4. a gracefully designed, organic alarm clock
5. a wildlife control expert impersonator
6. a treat-seeking missile
7. a small, furry, lap fungus
8. one who sleeps in old, empty boxes
9. an un-programmable animal
10. a hair relocation expert

Ten other words defined, as related to cats:

1. Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life
2. Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink
3. Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat
4. Cat Scan: to look for a cat. Is he in or out?
5. Dog: a cat's device for running practice
6. Can opener: a device that causes missing cats to magically appear
7. Door: something a cat always wants to be on the other side of
8. Human: an automatic door opener for cats
9. Yawn: a cat's honest opinion, openly expressed
10. Kitten: a homicidal muffin on legs. Not usually recommended for beginners.

Even if you don't like cats, you have to admit they can do some of the cutest things.

They can also do some of the most disgusting things, as described in the cross stitch below.

They show great intelligence, as do these "chessy cats" below.

They're great at catching and killing (torturing or frightening to death?) rodents ... unless they learn to love them instead.

One of the things cats do best, though, is sleeping. Here's a picture of the ultimate in accessories for your cat — a cat hammock.

I'll end with one of my all time favorite video clips — the Cat Herders. It was a Super Bowl commercial in 2000 and is considered by many to be one of the top ten best Super Bowl ads. If you're reading this in e-mail or a blog reader, you will have to go to my blog itself to see the video. I had to watch it several times to catch all the more subtle humor, like the guy cleaning cat hair off himself. Enjoy, especially if you've never seen it before.

Do you have any additional definitions of cats or words related to cats? What do you like most and least about cats?

quotation...

"We need to spread the gospel with the same fervency as a Tea Party rally." - Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^= (our cats Adelade and Clementine)
Rob

Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food? Or cat-flavored dog food?

Comments

• July 5, 2010, Joel writes: That's funny, I thought you didn't like cats. Are you the one that told our class dead cat jokes? And the classic, "What did the 500 pound parakeet say to the cat? (Here, kitty, kitty, kitty)"
• July 5, 2010, Sue writes: We have two cats, a Maine coon mix and a domestic longhair. The shedding is the main drawback, but they are less maintenance than dogs. I used clicker training to teach mine tricks - they know "sit," "give five," "stand," "give kiss," "speak," "smack," "fetch," and "jump up." Unlike most dogs, they absolutely refuse to work for free. No treat, no trick!
• July 5, 2010, Shannah writes: The cat herders video is one of my favorites... I watch it over and over, and laugh every time. Another set of videos you need to see if you haven't already is the "Simon's Cat" series-- you can find it on youtube. I particularly love the one where the cat is waking up his owner... there's no question that the artist has a cat himself.
• July 6, 2010, Rob writes: @Joel - Yes, I did tell a few of those jokes back then. I joke about all sorts of things that I like a lot, though. Strange, I know. :-) I think it's sad not to be able to see the humor in almost anything in life. As they say ... sacred cows make the best burgers. BTW, I haven't thought of the 500 pound parakeet joke in years. (We won't say how many years ago that was.... :-D @Sue - My hat is off to you for being able to teach your cats tricks — treats or not treats. Cats have a mind of their own, for sure. @Shannah - Thanks for reminding me of the Simon Cat series. I'll have to do some searching....
• July 8, 2010, Carrie writes: We have the cat herding clip saved on our computer. It's a great one!
• July 15, 2010, Rob writes: @Carrie - I've had it for most of the time it's been available, and I can't tell you how many times I've watched it ... and LOL each time. I keep seeing something new or that I've forgotten, like the cowboy on the horse sneezing. Great stuff!

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Do you like what they call "reality TV"? Although I have not watched more than a minute or two of Survivor (as I scramble for the remote control to change channels), from the ads I know there have been several different series, each with its own difficult setting and conditions. A couple of years ago I posted an idea for a new Survivor series.

A reader who teaches elementary school sent me an e-mail with an idea for yet another new series. Recently when Mark and Katie were at our house, I asked them to read it over and to change anything they deemed necessary to make it more real to life since they are both elementary school teachers. Here's the proposed plan for another series of Survivor:

Have you heard about what they are planning for the next season of Survivor? Three businessmen and women, three state senators, and three state representatives will be dropped into an elementary school classroom for one school year. Each "teacher" will be provided with a copy of the school district's curriculum and a class of 25-30 students.

Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled children, three with A.D.H.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three students will be labeled with severe behavior problems.

Each of the "teachers" must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance, with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create their materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences. They must also stand in their doorway between class changes to monitor the hallways. In addition, they will complete fire drills and tornado drills.

They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, and curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind and strive to get their two non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the ELDA tests. If they are sick or having a bad day they must not let it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment to motivate students at all times. If all students do not wish to cooperate, work, or learn, the teacher will be held responsible.

The "teachers" will have access to the public golf course only on the weekends, but with their new salary, they may not be able to afford it. There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to twenty minutes, with their students, which is not counted as part of their work day. The "teachers" will be permitted to use a student restroom, as long as another survival candidate can supervise their class.

If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials before or after school. However, they cannot surpass their monthly limit of copies. The "teachers" must continually advance their education, at their expense, and on their own time.

The winner of this season of Survivor will be allowed to return to his or her original job.

Does that sound more like "reality" than doing some of the things the contestants have to do in contrived situations on the Survivor show? Do you elementary teachers have any modifications or additions to make to the scenario described above?

Kudos to all you teachers out there who are making a difference in reality!

quotation...

"When the judgment falls, and it will, what will we have left? If we give ourselves to the world, we end up with nothing." - Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first and the lesson afterwards.

Comments

• July 1, 2010, Kathy Sorensen writes: Rob, both of my kids are teachers, one at the elementary level, the other at the high school level. I've heard these exact same "criteria" contained in today's blog so often from them. Our teachers are fantastic professionals. I often wonder where they get their "teaching gifts" from. It takes someone special to teach. It also takes strength, guts, big hearts, etc., etc., etc. Edith and John ... you go, guys!!!!!!!!
• July 1, 2010, Michael writes: Definitely sharing this with my in-laws who are both teachers in public elementary schools in Arizona. And, I agree with you regarding the "reality" TV show genre. Some of them can be fun to watch, but more and more I'm not sure what's really real about them.
• July 1, 2010, Nancy writes: Add at least one immunity challenge that involves something that bleeds. A skinned knee or a pulled tooth are both good possibilities. The survivor must staunch the bleeding, following all current bloodborne pathogen regulations, calm the student in pain (skinned knee) or the student in delight (lost tooth), and keep all other students fully monitored and on task. **Bonus points if rinsing the mouth results in a drinking fountain now in need of disinfecting.
• July 1, 2010, Sandy writes: Rob, loved the Survivor Series idea!! As a former first grade teacher, I think you need to add a little more excitement to the show... There should be a sick child or two each week - stomach viruses always liven up the classroom. Head lice or pink eye could also be nice additions to the story line - teachers themselves are not exempt from those, you know! Injuries on the playground are also an idea - especially if they require stitches. Also, drop in visits from parents and even grandparents can add lots of drama to a teacher's day. Then, there is the whole story line of teacher/ teacher interaction. Hoarding of supplies, principal favoritism, general power struggles... oh what a rich area that would be to mine!! I definitely think you have a winning idea!
• July 1, 2010, Sarah Calhoun writes: This really is good. Maybe a child or two with some serious allergy (nuts or peanuts, for example; or bee stings) should be thrown into the mix. Or at least one with some other serious physical ailment, illness or handicap.
• July 3, 2010, JohnMatzko writes: Thinking about teaching elementary school reminds me how grateful I am to be a college teacher. Only a few learning disabled students make it this far, and when they do, there are specialists to help. Parents usually live far away, and the vast majority of their children would be mortified to have them call. If students get hurt on the "playground," I only see them again after they're well bandaged. If they're sick, they usually don't come to class. (In fact, if they're well they often don't come either.) I have the opportunity to teach only one subject, and I don't have to worry about teaching someone else's curriculum. As for lesson plans, with almost no one looking over my shoulder, I can write them up after the class and scribble to myself, "Don't ever do that again."
• July 5, 2010, Nathan Patefield writes: Hi Rob, I sent this to a friend who is a special ed teacher in a public school. Here are her additions to this new "reality" show: Don't forget the No Child Left Behind Act with a requirement for mandated Standardized tests to determine if your school will meet the Annual Yearly Progress or AYP. Every year your school must show a bigger increase in student achievement to get the same AYP approval. Even though you can get AYP one year with a certain score does not mean that the same score the next year will get you AYP approval. By the year 2013 all students, regardless of individual differences will show 100% accuracy on these mandated tests. (What every happened to the bell curve and individual learning needs?) Don't forget that some of the students you mentioned in your list will also need by law to have Individual Education Plans or IEP's (mandated by the law) written for them. These meeting must be attended by a general education teacher, special education teacher, parent and principal or designee for the principal all before certain time frames during the school day that you also have to teach within. The IEP requires that you use specific accommodations for each individual on these plans and provide needed extra services like: Speech, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy , Assistive Technology with Hearing and Sight Programs. Don't forget the formal behavior plans that must be implemented or the documentation that must be kept on each student in your classroom. Curriculum has to be rewritten to meet the needs of each student and then intervention plans written and applied to those students that are not "getting" correct understanding. You must do this in the time frame given to you, in between Specials (Art, Music, Library, Band, Strings, Chorus, PE, Lunch and Recess with half-day Teacher Work Days.
• July 6, 2010, Rob writes: @Kathy - Props to your teacher-kids. All three of ours teach or have taught younger children. The youngest I ever taught in a school setting is 7th grade. They're a hoot, and not everyone's cup of tea, but I enjoyed them thoroughly. They're just themselves — no pretense. @Michael - I'd love to hear how your in-laws liked the post. @Nancy, Sandy, and Sarah - Thanks for your contributions to this post. Too funny. (I can clearly hear the voice of experience behind those typed words....) @John - I agree with you, John. I also enjoy teaching college, although I sometimes miss my high schoolers. Well, actually, my high schoolers are all in their 40's and 50's now. YIKES! @Nathan - Thanks for taking the time to share this with your friend and for posting the friend's reply. Great additions to this post!

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