A few weeks ago when my aunt and I were talking on the phone, she told me she didn't know the first name of her maternal grandmother who had died long before my aunt was born. I looked in my family history folder, found a family tree my uncle had made when he was in school, and sent a copy of it to his sister, my aunt. It was interesting to see some of the names on that family tree. It brought back childhood memories of family reunions on my mom's side of the family with a lot of people I didn't know, but who somehow knew me.

As I looked through that folder, I found all sorts of interesting things I had forgotten about. I found a post card that my Grandpa Loach sent from Paris to my Grandma Loach who was still in Calais, France, right before he came back to the USA on a soldier ship after the end of World War I. The post card was written in English and I'm sure Grandma must have had to get help reading it. She did not come to the USA until some time later on a ship of French war brides. It was here that she began the task of learning English, and of unlearning the English Grandpa's soldier buddies had taught her! In that folder I also found the French document from my grandparents' marriage and some post cards Grandma's mother sent her after she had moved to America. Fascinating stuff, really!

Anyway, I looked in my digital files and found some great one-liners about genealogies, family trees, and family heritage that I'm posting for your amusement today.

Theory of relativity: If you go back far enough, we're all related.

Many a family tree could use a good pruning.

I trace my family history so I will know whom to blame.

Can a first cousin, once removed, return?

I checked out my family tree, and just as I thought ... poison ivy!

I found three good definitions for the word genealogy:

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.

Genealogy: A haystack full of needles. It's the threads I need!

Genealogy: Tracing descent from people who didn't.

If you want to make your search for lost relatives easier, just win the lottery.

Do I even want ancestors?

Is crazy a relative term in your family?

Genealogists live in the past lane.

Every family tree has some sap in it ... and someone hanging from one of the limbs.

Friends come and go, but relatives tend to accumulate.

I think my ancestors had some "bad heir" days.

I'd rather be looking for dead people than have them looking for me!

Old genealogists never die, they just lose their census.

All of our family records were lost in the Flood.

A great many family trees were started by grafting.

Remember, undocumented genealogy is mythology!

My family skeletons are rhythmically impaired and can't dance.

Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors!

Some ancestors I found I wish I could lose.

Any family tree produces some lemons, some nuts, and a few bad apples. (And I actually know people with the last name of Lemon, Nutt, and Apple.)

My family coat of arms ties at the back. Is that normal?

Everybody's ancestors could not fit on the Mayflower.

I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

That's the problem with the gene pool: no lifeguards!

A miser is hard to live with, but makes a great ancestor.

If I find that some of my ancestors were childless, do I really exist?

Is your family tree a few branches short of full bloom?

How about you — have you traced your family tree back very far? Was it encouraging or disappointing? Or both? Did you discover that you are a descendant of someone famous ... or infamous? Based on your experience, would you recommend that others trace their lineage?

quotation...

"I don't know who my grandfather was. I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be." — Abraham Lincoln

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

"Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponents will do it for you." — Mark Twain

Comments

• May 16, 2012, Michael writes: Twain's quote is so dead on accurate. One of my aunts did some genealogical work on my dad's side of our family a few years ago. Our last name made us think that we were Irish but, come to find out, my great-grandfather was adopted and that's kind of where things ended. So, now we're not sure what our native ethnicity is. There are large numbers of Irish people in northern Maine who brought their potato growing skills with them. But, there's also a large French presence given the proximity to large French populations in Canada. But, there also seems to be indication that my great-grandfather may have been from Germany. So, who knows? I still like to think of myself as Irish but I'm probably not. On my mother's side apparently part of the family owned a fairly large plantation near what is now Charlotte, NC. Genealogies are interesting but I'm not sure what value they have beyond the curious or trivial. Being part of the family of God trumps any other family I could belong to.
• May 16, 2012, Kathie writes: Both sides of my family have been researched and documented. One side has a huge loose leaf full of interesting trivia. I enjoy tracing traits like low blood pressure and color blindness. The other side of my family has a website (www.allangrahamfamily.com) that tells the fascinating story of my great (7x) grandmother who was scalped by the pawnee indians and lived to her 90s. One day I was looking at another Graham Reunion website...and found another whole clan who traces their lineage back to the same grandmother who was scalped! That clan lives in Iowa and they get together every year...all 250 of them! Our 77th reunion is this year...but our numbers have gone from 300 down to about 125. Fascinating stuff! Thanks for a great post.
• May 17, 2012, Marilyn writes: It is interesting the amount of space the Bible devotes to genealogy. It is a lot of fun but I'm glad the 'hard work' has been done for me. One of my husband's lines can be traced as far back as 1701. On my maternal grandfather's side the links go to 2 people who came over on the Mayflower. [This was the young man who almost didn't make it - was swept overboard and was rescued with great difficulty.]

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One of the things associated with summer is construction, both road and building. Driving on nice roads is great, but it is also a pain to have to navigate slowly (read: stop and go ... mostly stop) through road work in heavy vacation traffic. Whenever I see signs that say "End Road Work," I usually say aloud, "Amen!" Our church is considering building a house on our property this summer to provide temporary housing for missionaries on furlough. I hope to have at least a small part in that project since, for the first time, after 39 years of teaching, I don't have a summer job.

With construction in mind, I'm posting several humorous things on that topic. The first story came to me with the word blond in it. I hope my fair-haired readers will appreciate the changes I've made to the original.

Two air-headed carpenters were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.

The other, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed toward me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the house, then I nail it in!"

The second airhead got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

Construction Site: The Crime Scene?

After a workman was killed at a construction site, the police began to question a number of the other workers. Based on their spotted histories, many of these workers were considered prime suspects. They were indeed a motley crew:

The electrician was once suspected of wiretapping, but was never charged.

The carpenter thought he was a stud. He tried to frame a co-worker one time.

The glazier went to great panes to conceal his past. He still claims that he didn't do anything, insisting that he had been framed.

The painter had a brush with the law several years ago.

The heating, ventilation, and air conditioning contractor was known to pack heat. He was arrested once but duct the charges.

The mason was suspect because he gets stoned regularly.

The cabinet maker is an accomplished counter fitter.

The autopsy led the police to arrest the carpenter, who subsequently confessed. The evidence against him was irrefutable, because it was found that when the workman died, he was hammered.

Our current financial difficulties are forcing not only small businesses, but also state and local agencies to make some tough decisions. Check out the picture of a typical construction scene below.

If the economy doesn't improve soon, it's likely that they will have to lay off Jose.

On the news they keep telling us the economy is slowly improving, but it seems as if there's still not much new construction here. How do things look in your part of the world? Is there much construction going on, road or housing?

quotation...

"Ministry often happens when we're on our way to do something else, at an inconvenient time." — Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

The road to success always seems to be under construction.

Comments

• May 9, 2012, Jonathan writes: Sounds like the carpenter got nailed when there was no crime seen in the construction sight.
• May 9, 2012, Nancy writes: Re: Construction site story I've met that glazier. You could see right through him.
• May 9, 2012, Karen M. writes: In the Appleton-Green Bay area, construction has just started to pick back in the housing industry. Or course, road construction has been ongoing for over a year now.
• May 10, 2012, Carrie writes: Road construction, but lots of empty buildings including houses in the Detroit area.

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She gets into some of the craziest places in our house, and at the advanced age of 17 she keeps coming up with new ones! This got me thinking about some pictures in my files, not only on the computer, but also in photo albums.

Here are several pictures I had in my files. I have no idea where they came from. Speaking of organizing....

How did they get 8 cats to do that at the same time?!

I wonder if this cat got on top of the door on its own.

Actually Adelaide used to do that on our bedroom door where we used to live. She would get on top of the bookcase and then hop onto the door.

Here's one way cat hair can get on your clothes.

When Becka and I were first married, we had a crazy cat named Elsa, so named because she was free. She was the queen of getting into the strangest places. (Sorry that the quality of these pictures isn't the greatest — I scanned faded photos from the last millennium.)

Here's Elsa after she finished exploring the inside of Becka's dress form.

Our little swinger had to explore everything!

We kept our hamster in an aquarium above a cupboard in our laundry room, but that didn't deter Elsa from making "visits."

Little terrorist!

See how long it takes to find her in this next picture.

I love this picture of her "dancing" as she tries to catch the sock Becka is dangling over her.

Here's a pie chart showing where cats sleep.

Here's a Rhymes with Orange cartoon that I think you'll enjoy.

Adelaide enjoys looking out our kitchen window, pretending she is outside hunting the birds on our deck. Speaking of birds, I'll end with two pictures of our baby bluebirds. They are getting close to fledging.

Here's what they looked like on April 23.

Here they are last evening, just 8 days later.

Do you cat owners (= people owned by cats) have cats get into interesting spots? Please share your stories in the comments.

This Friday is graduation at school. If you're free Friday afternoon any time between 2:00 and 4:00, take a peek at our commencement exercises.

quotation...

"Inner strength comes from God, who is sovereign over all." – David Brock

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Interesting fact: The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.

Comments

• May 2, 2012, Vikki writes: We don't have any kitties now, but we have for most of our married life. They do seem to thrive on finding the craziest places to sleep or hide. We too have pictures of them happily sitting in some of the strangest places. It's amazing how they can get into the smallest places and contort themselves to get into them. One day we came home from work and were surprised to find no kitty to greet us. We looked all over and called, but she never came. We looked outside (she was an inside cat), but no kitty. Finally we went into our bedroom to get changed out of our work clothes and heard a very quiet mew from the dresser. In the time it took Dave to take a T-shirt out of the drawer, put it on, and close the drawer, she had somehow crawled into it and had spent the entire day crammed in there. Another time we came home to find our kitty trapped between the doors (screen and inside). He must have tried to follow us when we left for work but the door closed on him before he could get out. Poor kitty.
• May 2, 2012, Sarah writes: Fun post! We've had several cats, and they've all possessed interesting quirks. A couple liked to curl up in the bathroom sink for a nap, and one would jump up to the top of our kitchen cupboards and sleep in a basket up there. Our current kitty doesn't really sleep anywhere particularly unusual, but he's had his share of adventure - in fact, I did a blog post on him not too long ago! http://sweetcherry-ramblings.blogspot.com/2012/01/his-royal-fuzziness.html Gotta love cats! :D
• May 7, 2012, Amanda writes: When our cats were kittens, they would crawl inside our Hammond organ. It was a sad day for them when they were finally too big to fit inside.

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What's especially funny is that the word principle was also misspelled in the Braille on that sign - they accurately misspelled principle, but the Braille introduces a new misspelling of the word assistant. Here's what the Braille should look like, with only principle misspelled:

I don't read Braille, but I can tell that their rendering of assistant does not match the correct Braille spelling of assistant. Any Braille readers want to comment?

That e-mail reminded me of other pictures of signs with misspellings in or near schools.

This next one is a classic.

I'm not sure whether it was a copycat crime, but several other schools have had the same mistake made on their nearby pavement.

I read online that the misspelling in the next sign was an honest mistake that was quickly rectified ... but not before someone captured it for the rest of the world.

What must be especially embarrassing is when a sign announcing a spelling- or literacy-related event contains a misspelling. Here are several.

Unfortunately, the word literacy is misspelled in this next sign.

This next one had to be a source of embarrassment.

This next sign made me wonder whether there had been a contest to see who could get the most misspellings into the smallest space.

I saw a sign on Facebook recently that fit nicely into this blog post.

How is your spelling? Although I normally don't have problems with spelling, as a teacher I struggle most with the words that I see my students frequently misspell. After you see a word misspelled so often, the correct spelling starts to look wrong to you. When I'm in a hurry I also make typos, which some of you sharpies let me know about so that I can correct them on the blog itself, unfortunately after the misspellings have gone out in over 900 e-mails. Sigh!

This past Friday evening I attended a surprise party for my academic dean, Dr. Bob Taylor. He is retiring after 50 years of service on staff at BJU, at least 30 years of which he spent as a dean. The program to honor him was such a nice tribute to this godly man. A colleague contacted all of us who teach in the College of Arts and Science to ask us for one word that comes to mind when we think of Dr. Taylor. With the results of that survey, she had the following picture made to present to Dr. Taylor.

There was a neat display on another table with pictures, both recent and old.

I'll miss Dr. Taylor as my dean, and I wish him much happiness in his retirement.

quotation...

For today's quotation, I am sharing the entirety of his retirement speech, after the various tributes were given to honor him:

"God is great, and I'm not. God is good, and I'm not. And I am blessed." – Dr. Bob Taylor

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Comments

• April 25, 2012, Vikki writes: It always amazes me how people, who are suppose to be teaching our children, can't spell!! I remember my first semester of English comp back in IL. For one of our compositions, we exchange our work with another student and we were to critique them. I was amazed at the paper I had been handed - 'there' for every use and 'to' for every use (even the number!). And no, this was NOT bonehead English. This was English Comp 101.
• April 25, 2012, Vicky Johnson writes: I once called a church and told them that the sign in front of the church had a misspelling...they had used the word "to" instead of the word "too." They took two weeks to change the sign. Maybe they felt that they needed to consult an expert...
• April 25, 2012, Amanda writes: I'm grading paper revisions right now. I had a student use the word "their" instead of "they're." I marked it as a spelling error and the revision contains the word "there." :( I think we do a lot more listening and watching today than reading--perhaps that's part of the problem?
• April 26, 2012, David writes: I wonder if the "shcool" misspelling was on purpose in some cases. Maybe someone thought that it would catch people's attention so that they would be less likely to ignore it.
• May 1, 2012, Ann M writes: When you make corrections to the blog itself, please delete the comments that point out an error that no longer exists. It just confuses those of us who don't see the post until AFTER the error has been corrected.

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Several TV commercials have recently reminded me of my ongoing mourning of the loss of some words from my native tongue. I decided to do a blog post about it. Each time a dictionary goes into a new version, in order to make room for new words that have been coined, the editors must consider dropping words that are seldom used by the public at large. The following are the kinds of words they look at:

vectarious = belonging to a wagon or carriage

jussulent = full of broth or soup

caliginosity = dimness

jollux = fat person

griseous = somewhat gray (Hey, I can now claim that word as my own!)

As I prepared for this post, I was surprised to learn about a website that's been set up to rescue words that may be dropped from dictionaries. The site is called Save the Words. On this site I learned that 90% of what people say is communicated with a total of only 7,000 vocabulary words. Below is a screenshot from that site:

The site encourages people to "adopt" endangered words and to save them from extinction by using them. As your cursor passes over words, they cry out for you to pick them. When you click on a word, a dialog box pops up with a definition of the word and the word used in a sentence. The Oxford dictionaries are hoping that people's adopting and using some of these almost archaic words will save them from vanishing from the dictionary by putting them back into common usage. I'm honestly not sure how that will go.

That's not quite what I have in mind, though, as I mourn the words the English language is losing. I'm actually thinking of more common words like lose, nauseated, the helping verb have, and fewer, to name a few. These words seem to be vanishing from the English language as a result of careless usage.

I far more frequently see loose when people mean to say lose, as in I hope we don't loose the game this weekend. I guess that would be especially important to those who try to keep a tight rein on their games.

I have to admit that I'm not always a good boy when people I know tell me they are nauseous. I put my hand over my mouth, recoil a little, and say something like, "You certainly are!" My older American Heritage dictionary gives as the first definition for nauseous "causing nausea, sickening." There is a usage note stating that the use of nauseous in the sense of nauseated (suffering from nausea) is unacceptable. Modern dictionaries, such as dictionary.com, seem to be caving to current (mis)usage, putting the formerly unacceptable definition as the first definition.

Today in my MLF202 class we will be learning the past conditional — I would have done this and I would not have done that. Each year I tell my students, "You might know this better as would of or woulda and wouldna, but in English it's really would have and would not have." Some smile knowingly, while others look puzzled, as if I'm speaking a foreign language or something. But it's harder to learn to say those things in French if you can't see the exact, word-for-word correlation between those French verb forms and the English verb forms. The same thing happens all the time, though, as people say and write should of, could of, might of, etc., instead of should have, could have, might have.

The last one in my list above — the use of less instead of fewer with a plural noun — is actually the one that I have heard several times recently and that rekindled my thinking about lost words. Proper usage of fewer would result in a sentence less carelessness produces fewer mistakes, instead of a sentence using the word less twice. It's rare to hear someone use fewer correctly! I have to admit that that distinction is more difficult in English. French, German, and Spanish do not differentiate — in French both contexts use moins, German weniger, and Spanish menos. But still!

How about you — are you mourning the loss of any word/s? Maybe not. I'm not sure this blog post will save any words from extinction, unless maybe my descendants keep my blog online for years to come. I truly am not trying to be a little, old curmudgeon, but as a believer and as a language teacher, I strongly believe that words are of huge importance. God chose (not choose, by the way...) to communicate His truth to us through the written word, every word of which is important. As individual words lose their meanings, language loses its ability to communicate clearly. This is a bigger subject than can be tackled in one blog post, but maybe my dear readers will add further insights in the comments section.

Stepping off the soapbox...

quotation...

"Be what you wish your child to be" – Jayson Byrd

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

I misplaced my dictionary and now I'm at a loss for words.

Comments

• April 18, 2012, Vikki writes: Fewer and less - there are a number of stores that STILL haven't fixed that one at their checkouts, as in "20 items or less". Oh and how about when people say "and he goes" instead of "and he said". I can sorta forgive kids when they say it, but adults over 50 should know better. This one really bugs me. When I was young, a Tareyton cigarettes commercial ruined a whole generation, and all generations after it, with their "Us Tareyton smokers would rather fight than switch" campaign which ran for a number of years in the 60's. The use of "us" was suppose to be an attention grabber, but to the kids of that time it sounded normal and hence an entire generation grew up never knowing it was incorrect. I think I was into adulthood before I learned it should have been "we". Even to this day the proper use of it still sounds wrong to my ears.
• April 18, 2012, Ruth writes: Thanks! I recently taught the kids the difference between fewer and less, though time will tell if they truly learned it. :-) My dad was a big help in using and encouraging proper grammar, and I'm very grateful to him. The misused word that I hear most often and bothers me most is the word "lay" - it's not in danger of being lost, just misplaced!
• April 18, 2012, Jan writes: Amen! Please add "peruse" to your list. If both "examine" and "skim" are synonyms, what should I do when I'm asked to peruse something?
• April 18, 2012, Michael writes: I agree with you that this is a problem. We are rewarding laziness by allowing words to change in meaning and in usage. Languages do evolve over time but laziness that results in greater imprecision of language will result in greater confusion and misunderstanding. I am bothered more by words being used for purposes they weren't intended for. They are treated almost like euphemisms. One is issue. People now don't have problems they have issues. Additionally is impact when it is used as anything other than a noun. I was impacted by that song. How about moved or affected? And, he is the most impactful player on the team. That one really gets me. I think sometimes people like to use a new or different word in place of the more commonly accepted one in order to provide greater emphasis or draw greater attention to what they're saying. All in all it is bothersome.
• April 18, 2012, Lori Fox writes: How are we supposed to play fictionary anymore if they take out all the words nobody's ever heard of ?
• April 18, 2012, Kim Guilliams writes: These bother me, too! Although, I admit that there are a few grammar rules I drop in casual conversation. Just recently I neglected to use the subjunctive case when talking to my mom, and I thought she was going to pass out. We always used the subjunctive growing up (which was helpful when learning French!), but I didn't know many people who did. My big pet peeve is a singular subject with a plural pronoun, like "Every student brought their book." Aaaaaaaaah! Of course, that's not as bad as the group of teenagers I overheard at the mall discussing how to spell the word "love." One girl honestly thought it was spelled "luv."
• April 18, 2012, Doodie H. writes: I am frustrated by "drive safe" (a slogan here in Clearwater posted all over high school campuses), "he disrespected me," and "I've been gifted by God . . . ." I have also noticed that the word "parameter" is now used to mean guidelines or characteristic instead of the meaning I was taught in math and statistics classes!
• April 18, 2012, Emily Boone writes: I wish I would of found that website earlier. English is losing some really unique words!
• April 18, 2012, Amy Fernandez writes: Hmmm, I'm healthy, apples are healthful, but now, it seems apples are healthy, too. And now, corn is fresh picked instead of being freshly picked? Bugs me and makes me feel nauseous! Well, I'm nauseating if I mention it. ;^D
• April 19, 2012, Abee McGuire writes: Read your post on Zite about Save the Words site, appears to now be defunct :( last mention discovered online (an article) from 1/10 with screenshot similar to yours. Even in summer 2009, one individual had commented on her inability to connect with savethewords.org on web. Did you actually connect with them or hear of them on another site? Sincerely, Abee McGuire Rob adds: Abee, I had the same trouble, but if you click on the link in my post - http://savethewords.org/site.swf - it should get you there. For whatever reason if you try savethewords.org only, it just sits there and never opens. Many such sites pop you over to whatever is their home page, but that doesn't happen there. That site uses Flash, so could that be the problem with Zite? Does Zite not work with Flash?
• April 21, 2012, John P. Callan writes: Permit me to nominate "artful" as a word perverted by current use, now misused as an adjective meaning "evidencing high artistic skill" instead of cunning or crafty. Merriam-Webster has already listed the new meaning as the #1 definition. This word is one of the victims in a group of words that, to the uninformed, ought to mean what they sound like; some examples are restive, obviate, redoubtable. Modern usage: The children created an artful finger painting; A refreshing, restive nap; Highlight the text to obviate its key words; Now that more damning facts are known, the original proposal becomes even more redoubtable. These are all words I heard telecast on the several local television news programs in Portland, Oregon, by presumable college educated news readers (a.k.a anchors).
• April 25, 2012, Vikki writes: I just have to add one more. It's not actually a misuse of a word, but an expression, "I could care less." I know what they mean, but they're actually saying just the opposite of what they mean. It should be "I couldn't care less". By saying it the first way, you're actually saying that you do care and there is lots of room to care less about it.

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I'll start off with some pictures related to food.

This sounds like my kind of health food!

Here are some random pictures with something wrong about them. For some you have to look closely to find the problem.

My fellow teachers at BJU might appreciate this next picture. (hint: RIP)

This last one makes me smile with its irony.

The only thing wrong with this picture of Drew and Maddie on Easter Day was that they were 700 miles from here.

To see several pictures from Ryan's first birthday party, check out Becka's latest blog post.

Our Easter eggs were of a different sort this year — bluebirds have a nest in our birdhouse out back. Here are the four eggs which should begin to hatch any day now.

Many thanks to those who keep me supplied with funny pictures!

quotation...

"God's sovereignty is a great antidote for anger." – Charles Flesher

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Comments

• April 11, 2012, jan writes: Too funny! Sweet pic of the grandchildren, Rob.
• April 11, 2012, Sarah G. writes: I'm still trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with the Starbucks picture... I feel dense. :)
• April 11, 2012, Vikki writes: Eggs in your birdhouse :0)
• April 12, 2012, Rob writes: @Sarah G. - The cup is not from Starbucks, but the sleeve is.
• April 12, 2012, Sarah G. writes: Ah, okay. :D I suppose I'm just not a coffee connoisseur to know the difference!
• April 13, 2012, Carrie writes: The Baskin Robbins Weight Watchers was my favorite until I got to the Health bar, then the women meteorologists. . . Too funny. Your grandbabies are just so adorable!

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Regarding the passage of time, it's even more amazing how different life is today from how it was in my youth, back in the last millennium. I must carefully consider stories I tell my classes since the frame of reference of my students is different from mine. Today's iv is a fun look at some of those changes. Some of you younger readers may have to ask an older person to explain some of this humor to you, while others won't.

I'll start off with a cartoon.

What a difference a few years makes!

Then: Long hair
Now: Longing for hair

Then: Moving to California because it's cool
Now: Moving to California because it's warm

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
Now: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

Then: Hoping for a BMW
Now: Hoping for a BM

Then: Doctor, Mrs. Jones called and needs you to make a house call.
Now: Doctor, Mrs. Jones called and wants to know if you'll make a house call ... whatever that is.

Then: Going to a new, hip joint
Now: Getting a new hip joint

Then: Rolling Stones
Now: Kidney Stones

Then: Being called to the principal's office
Now: Calling the principal's office

Then: Disco
Now: Costco

Then: Paar
Now: AARP

Then: Peace sign
Now: Mercedes logo

Then: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
Now: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

Then: Passing the drivers' test
Now: Passing the vision test

Then: Whatever
Now: Depends

As other things change with the passage of time, so does the wisdom that parents impart to their children. Here are some modern takes on old standards:

Then: No TV until your homework is finished.
Now: No Web surfing until your homework is finished.

Then: That phone is going to become attached to your ear.
Now: If you can't reach me at the office, try the gym. Or there's always my cellphone.

Then: Eat everything on your plate.
Now: Watch your fat intake. There's heart disease in our family.

Then: I worked my fingers to the bone for you.
Now: I worked my bones into carpal tunnel syndrome for you.

Then: Do you think I'm made of money?
Now: Do you think I'm made of money?

Just to illustrate how different things are for my freshman students this year, here are some of my favorites from this year's Beloit College Class of 2015 mindset list. Now it's time for some of my older readers to scratch their heads.

States and Velcro parents have always been requiring that they wear their bike helmets.

The only significant labor disputes in their lifetimes have been in major league sports.

There have nearly always been at least two women on the Supreme Court, and women have always commanded U.S. Navy ships.

They "swipe" cards, not merchandise.

Amazon has never been just a river in South America.

All their lives, Whitney Houston has always been declaring "I Will Always Love You."

O.J. Simpson has always been looking for the killers of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman.

Life has always been like a box of chocolates.

The Communist Party has never been the official political party in Russia.

Unlike their older siblings, they spent bedtime on their backs until they learned to roll over.

Music has always been available via free downloads.

Grown-ups have always been arguing about health care policy.

They’re the first generation to grow up hearing about the dangerous overuse of antibiotics.

They’ve often broken up with their significant others via texting, Facebook, or MySpace.

When they were 3, their parents may have battled other parents in toy stores to buy them a Tickle Me Elmo while they lasted.

"PC" has come to mean Personal Computer, not Political Correctness.

Not only have the things above changed, but I also have changed. In many ways, I am a very different person from what I was in my youth. And I wouldn't want to go back! How about you?

quotation...

"Don't let the kindness of God lead you to sin more. Let the kindness of God lead you to repentance." – Ben Fetterolf

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.

Comments

• April 6, 2012, Emily writes: My age group puts me right in the middle of this spectrum. I'm not quite looking into new hips yet, but I certainly remember a time before Amazon.com. :-D I was just old enough be aware the Simpson trial was happening, but not to understand the significance fully. But your last remark really struck me. When I remember times from my past, I can really see how the Lord has worked in my life to grow me. I wouldn't want to go back either! :-) As my grandfather used to put it: These are the "good old days."

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I'll make no commentary, leaving that instead to the comments section. Now on to today's fun, some of which might require careful reading. WARNING: make sure you are in a place where you are free to laugh out loud at least several times!

quotation...

"If all we show people is our high standards, we offer them no hope." – Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

"Shared joy is double joy. Shared sorrow is half sorrow." – Swedish proverb

Comments

• March 28, 2012, Beth writes: Did you intend to place a type in the first paragraph- they instead of they've? Just curious. It's easy for me to notice typos in others' work, but not my own. Thanks for the laugh! :) Rob adds: No, Beth, it's called tweaking the wording at 6 a.m. without the help of my proofreader (my dear wife). I have fixed it in the text. Thanks! :-D
• March 28, 2012, Donna writes: Do you have "IVMan" down as part of your Community Service? I think it is an invaluable service! Bringing a smile to the start of the day--priceless! (And you can quote me on that!)
• March 28, 2012, Kathleen writes: Seen recently on MSNBC: "Honeybee die-offs linked to insecticide, study says." The name of the study this article reports on is another gem: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/culturenews/9084394/Rereading-old-books-enhances-the-experience.html "The Temporal and Focal Dynamics of Volitional Reconsumption: A Phenomenological Investigation of Repeated Hedonic Experiences"
• March 28, 2012, Michael writes: Very funny stuff! The one about the barbershop singers reminded me of a story I saw on ESPN where a school for deaf kids had a football team and their pep band was made up of kids from a blind school.
• March 28, 2012, Shannah writes: In the "Starvation can lead to health hazards" article, the way it stretches "300" out is a nice little touch...
• March 28, 2012, Nancy writes: I remember reading a crime report of an alleged gunman who "shot and killed a man four times." I suppose he was only tried for one murder.
• March 28, 2012, Meribeth Tozier writes: In Sunday's bulletin at church: Special Who Killed Jesus? Message Pastor Dan

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Do you ever have moments when you feel as if you should say something, but you don't even know what to say? You're left with a total loss for words. I envy those who always seem to be able to come up with something to say. I have found that when I don't know for sure what to say, I should just keep my mouth closed.

Today's iv is several jokes where the one person is left with nothing to say in reply.

A laundry-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

She replied, "It depends — what does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "Green Bay Packers."

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.

"What is it made of?" she asked.

"Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.

"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."

"Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."

A church was celebrating its 100th anniversary, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance.

At one point, the minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking them, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"

There was silence. But finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."

To the question, "Are there too many immigrants in Britain?" 17% responded Yes; 11% responded No; and 72% said "I am not understanding the question, please."

Here's a little help for geezers, in case they run across any young people and need to understand what is being said and perhaps how to reply:

no problem = you're welcome
ex: Do you want lemon with your tea?
—Yes, thank you.
—No problem.

absolutely = yes (or no)
ex: I wonder if you'd like some popcorn.
—Absolutely

awesome = yes; I approve (or admire, or anticipate, etc. Can be safely substituted for any verb).
ex: I'll make us something to eat.
—Awesome.

Bonus conversational tidbit:
Mary has a skin issue. or Mary's having a bad skin day. = Mary has a skin problem.

If you find yourself unable to apply any of the expressions above to the conversation, simply say "whatever," and walk away. Or if you have a cell phone, pretend it's vibrating, look at it, say "awesome," and walk away as if you're talking to someone.

Has anyone left you speechless lately? Have you noticed that many young people say "No problem" or similar expressions instead of "You're welcome." Do you have any others to add to the list above?

quotation...

"It's far easier to constrict than it is to instruct." – Rick Cross

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Textaphrenia — when you think you've heard or felt your cell phone vibrate when there's actually no message or call at all.

Comments

• March 21, 2012, Beth writes: One of the first things I noticed when I moved to Australia 9 months ago was that people say "it's okay" or "that's aright" instead of "you're welcome". It took me a while to figure out that they were saying "no problem". :) There are many other phrases that I'm still figuring out. Thanks or thank you is "Ta" said as a thanks whenever something is handed to you or you are asking a child to give you something. Sausages are snags and flipflops are thongs, and there are many others.
• March 21, 2012, Rob writes: That's interesting, Beth. Have you noticed if that's true of people of all ages, or only for one age group?
• March 21, 2012, Vikki writes: Ha! I guess my age is showing, Beth. When I was younger, there was no such word as flipflop - they were called thongs. By the way, I grew up in Wisconsin.
• March 21, 2012, Kathie writes: My children use the word "goes" in place of "says." They'll say, "Cassie goes, 'Let's eat lunch.'" It sounds crazy to me and I keep correcting them. Nice blog post, Rob!
• March 21, 2012, Michael writes: First, I suffer from the disorder you defined. I guess my abdomen has random tremors near the part of my belt where my phone is. Second, no problem bothers me some but what really gets me is the people at Chick-fil-a who say "My Pleasure" instead of "you're welcome". I actually intentionally don't say "Thank you" at CFA any more to avoid their saying "My pleasure". I have a student who works at CFA but even at school when you say "thank you" she says "my pleasure". Aaaaaaggggghhhhh!
• March 21, 2012, Bill writes: I love the Chick-Fil-A response. Instead of dumbing down "thank you" to "no problem", they class it up to "It is my pleasure"!
• March 21, 2012, Vikki writes: I agree with Bill. 'My pleasure' sounds more personable than just a simple 'thank you'.
• March 21, 2012, Sharlene writes: "No problem" is kind of a national slogan here in Grenada. Here it means "glad to help."
• March 22, 2012, Sue writes: I had to laugh at "No Problem" coming up on your blog... it's become a habit with me, but I've been trying to say "You're Welcome" instead. Now, if we could all agree here in the US that it means "Glad to Help", I'd be set.
• March 23, 2012, kokopuff writes: The Chik Fil A folks must have taken the patented Ritz Carlton Hotel training...those folks say "My Pleasure" to EVERYTHING. And I hear more "No worries" as a response to asking for something to be done or thanking someone more and more often...thought that came from Australia, although my Canadian friends say it, too. Great post. I love your blog!
• March 25, 2012, Claudia writes: This always sounds odd to me: A. Do you want some? B. I'm good.

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It seems that Daylight Saving Time (DST) is one of those things that people either love or hate. While I enjoy being able to do more in the evening because we have an "extra hour" of daylight, I remember living in Michigan and having daughters who protested at having to go to bed while it was still light outside. We couldn't convince them that it was night. Monday of this week, I had two very different, personal reactions to DST. When my alarm went off at my usual 5:30 rising time, it still felt as if I were getting up at 4:30, and kinda like I had been hit by a truck. But then it was nice to be able to take a walk in the evening while it was still light out, which is something I haven't been able to do in a while. I decided to look into the history of DST, of which I post a synopsis below.

It is often said that Benjamin Franklin came up with the idea of Daylight Saving Time, but from what I could find, that is not necessarily the case. While living in Paris, Ben Franklin woke up earlier than usual one day and was struck by how many hours of daylight were being wasted to sleep during the summer months. He published an anonymous letter to the Journal de Paris in which he suggested satirically that Parisians could economize on candles by rising earlier to use morning sunlight. He did not specifically mention moving the clocks ahead. With tongue firmly planted in cheek, he suggested ways to enforce (rationing the sale of candlewax and levying window shutter taxes) and to encourage (ringing church bells or firing cannons at sunrise) such economies.

Our much-loved/much-hated method of advancing the time by one hour in the spring and rolling it back an hour in the fall is credited at least partially to George Vernon Hudson, an entomologist from New Zealand. Because of his love for collecting insects, he greatly valued daylight in the evening, during after work hours. His initial proposal in 1895 was that his country adjust the time by two hours! In England a builder (also an avid golfer) named William Willett, also proposed a form of DST to give people more time before dusk for playing golf. He came up with this idea independently from Hudson.

DST was first widely adopted by warring countries during the Great War (WW I) as a means of conserving the coal needed for military purposes. The first to do this was Germany and its allies. Many other countries soon joined them in this practice, and Daylight Saving Time was truly born. I found the following map on Wikipedia. It was especially interesting since it shows that many countries at one time had DST, but have abandoned it.

If you live in one of the countries that used to observe DST, how did people get them to stop?! Do you wish they hadn't stopped or are you happy to be no longer changing your clocks?

The debate over the usefulness of DST continues to the present. This past week someone sent me some ways by which you can know you've just "sprung forward." Below are my favorites from that list. Some are positive, some negative, and some depend on your way of looking at it.

How You Can Know You've Just Gone on Daylight Saving Time

You go to bed at your regular time, but you can't fall asleep, and stay up an extra hour. Then you're dead the next morning from staying up too late.

You have an extra hour of light in the evening — just enough time to mow the lawn.

You set the timer on the coffee pot, but when you get up there is no coffee.

It's dinner time according to the clock, but you are not hungry yet.

You arrive for church an hour late - just as everyone else is leaving.

The clock in your car has the right time for the first time since last November.

When you decide to reset the time on "singing bird clock," it starts singing and won’t stop until you remove the batteries.

You think half-seriously about moving to Arizona since they don't have to deal with all this nonsense.

In the hall Monday morning a Swiss student and I were talking about the similarities between the effects of DST and of jetlag. In connection with that he asked me a question. When I didn't know the answer, he gave gladly supplied it. (I translate from the French):

Q: What is the purpose of jetlag?
A: It's so that, when your flight arrives at the airport, you look like your passport picture.

How about you? Do you like DST, dislike it, barely tolerate it, roll easily with it, get wiped out by it? This week some of my students have told me that it's really thrown them for a loop, at a time when they are already really tired. I'm sure the debate will continue to rage, but we can discuss it here in the comments.

quotation...

"The gospel is scandalous to people who think that salvation is only for good people." — Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

"Definition of a complainer: One who tarries long at the whine." – Kenneth Carr

Comments

• March 14, 2012, Ann M writes: DST doesn't really affect me. I'm on full disability with no fixed schedule ever. However, it did affect me last fall. I had somehow missed the reminder that the time was changing. On that Sunday, I thought that either my computer clock was wrong or that I was losing my mind :-)
• March 14, 2012, David Lowry writes: Even though I utterly despise DST, I'm not sure I would want to change it. Every time Congress changes the DST schedule, IT professionals have to update pretty much every computer, server, and device they have to account for the changes. I think any money that we save on energy costs is lost on the effort it takes to change the schedule. I guess it's nice to be able to come home and be outside, but I'm not sure it's worth the cost.
• March 14, 2012, Elizabeth writes: When I was growing up in southwest Michigan, the northern part of Indiana did not observe DLS. So half the year we were on the same time zone and half the year we weren't. It made for a lot of confusion in our homeschool group. People were always showing up an hour early or an hour late to events. That was over ten years ago, and they've since both changed their time zone to EST and begun observing DLS. I can't imagine it is nearly as exciting as it used to be!
• March 14, 2012, Reverie writes: Quote from a coworker about DST: "Time change is like jet lag without the benefit of foreign travel."
• March 14, 2012, Michael writes: I hate DST. I don't believe it's needed any longer. What we need to do in the U.S. is spring forward in March and not fall back in November. Just keep the DST all year long. Also, I'm very frustrated every year at the traffic lights on my route to school each morning. A few years ago the spring forward date moved from early April to the middle of March. However, our government has not adjusted the computers that control the traffic lights so the traffic lights think it's 6:30 a.m. when it's actually 7:30 a.m. This causes significant backups and congestion when it could be so easily avoided.
• March 14, 2012, Amanda writes: DST used to never bother me. Not that I enjoyed losing an hour of sleep in the spring; I just bounced back quick. The next day I would be fine. I think I'm finally getting old though. This year I missed the morning service on Sunday because I slept through my alarm and I left myself half an hour to eat breakfast, shower, and get to my office on Monday because I slept through *two* alarms. Yuck. The time change has also thrown off my eating schedule, not a good thing when you're diabetic.
• March 14, 2012, Bron Eubanks writes: As a programmer, I don't like DST. Time zones are bad enough, but throw DST and top of that, and ugh. Computers typically use Coordinated Universal Time (UTC). Since UTC is the same everywhere in the world, the computer converts to and from the local time zone on the fly. So imagine an employee in the Eastern time zone clocks out at 1:30 am the Sunday that DST ends. Which 1:30 am? There were two of them. Technically, during DST, his time zone is EDT (Eastern Daylight Time). So ... EST=EDT-1, EST=UTC-5, and EDT=UTC-4. Then, if he forgets to clock out, his boss has to figure out what he means by "Add an out-punch at 1:30." UTC would be unambiguous, but normal people don't use it. Mispunches at 1-2 am Sunday during the time change may be uncommon, but that's just one small example of the problems. Dates and times present many complications. I've seen it proposed that the world switch entirely to UTC. I confess the idea has its attractions. The trouble is the cultural associations (like "noon" and "midnight"). The weirdest part would probably be the "day" changing when the sun is still up, depending on your location in the world.
• March 14, 2012, Vikki writes: I wish they would just pick one and stick with it. Personally, I would choose the DST format to leave permanently so that there's always the additional light in the evening. How do I feel about DST? It depends on if you ask me in the spring or in the fall. I'm a night person by nature, so I always look forward the fall when I can get an additional hour of sleep. But spring?!? Let's just sum it up with what I posted on Facebook Sunday morning: 'Dear Day Light Saving Time, I HATE YOU!!'. ~stepping up on my soapbox~ True, it is nice to have that extra daylight in the spring. But I hate to see kids standing at the bus stop in the dark each morning. I've heard the argument that it's suppose to save money because we don't burn the lights for as many hours in the evening - but what about in the morning while we're getting ready for work? And the argument for the farmers needing that additional hour of sunlight? How many farmers actually do their chores according to the clocks? When we lived in the Chicago area, we spent years driving to work looking into the blinding sun as it came up until it was finally high enough in the sky for the visors to work only to have DST hit and the sun once again blinding us on our drive. When we moved here to Greenville, we chose a house where we can drive to work with the sun to our backs. ~stepping back down~
• March 14, 2012, Nancy writes: A colleague said this of DST: It's like jet lag without the benefit of foreign travel.
• March 14, 2012, Sarah writes: DST has always presented me with a little challenge to remember to change the clocks, but it doesn't throw me off overmuch. It always seems like I need that extra hour of sleep in the fall, when days are getting shorter; also, I find it hard to get up in the dark, and if we kept DST all year round I would have to do that for half the year. In the spring I seem to have more energy anyway, and I don't miss the lost hour of sleep too much. This year, though, my body still hasn't quite adjusted to the new time, and I've been staying up too late this week.
• March 27, 2012, Don Johnson writes: Rob, when I was growing up we didn't have DST in Alberta, but BC did. So in the summer, we had the same time as BC, but not in the winter. Now Saskatchewan is the lone hold out up here. Personally, I have favored daylight wasting time, but I can't get many people to take me up on it. They're too busy! Maranatha! Don Johnson Jer 33.3

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Since I have worked the past 10 summers in tech support on campus, I appreciated this next one also.

Since Becka and I have entered the stage of life where we are seeing doctors more, I liked this meme about that profession.

As a blogger, I loved this one that really nails it, though it's probably more true of my wife than of me.

You cat people (and non-cat people) will enjoy this one.

Some of the memes out there were pretty bizarre ... like this one.

Any many of them were at least partially distasteful or inappropriate. But that's life, I guess.

Several places online I found a template for making memes like this. Below is one of them.

You can right click on the image above to save it to your computer. Some of you might want to go wild with Photoshop or some other photo editing software to make your own memes using that template. When this meme was making the rounds on Facebook, there were quite a few creative and humorous ones posted.

If you don't want to go that route, you can also go to http://www.whatireally.com and make your own memes that way. Just realize that there will be many who will feel like the following picture, even if they're too polite to express it.

As a teacher, I was recently encouraged to join LinkedIn — social networking for professionals. What I didn't know when I put in my e-mail address was that LinkedIn would send an invitation and endless reminders/nags to everyone in my gmail address book! I thought the next step would be to let me decide to whom invitations would be sent. Wrong! Unfortunately, that was not the case, and it was too late to undo it. If you have received an invitation from me and are not interested, there's an unsubscribe link at the bottom of the e-mail. The process is really painless and will stop the arrival of further reminders. It would take me much of my remaining life to go through the invitations one by one to revoke each of the 600+ that were sent. Sorry.

Megan and Maddie update...

Many have been asking how Megan and Maddie are doing. Rather than reinventing the wheel, here's a link to Megan's blog post about her post-delivery difficulties. If you visit her blog, while you're there you can explore the posts before and after the one I linked to.

quotation...

"We are all greater sinners than we want to believe, and God loves us more than we often can bring ourselves to believe." – Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Dear Google,
Please stop acting like a girlfriend — let me finish my sentence before you make suggestions. Thank you.

Comments

• March 7, 2012, Elizabeth writes: That picture of the people laughing is actually a pretty good representation of what I probably looked like when reading the Surrealists meme. I'm only disapointed that you didn't make your own!
• March 7, 2012, Carrie writes: I've seen and chuckled over a few of these, but the cat one is the best!
• March 8, 2012, Ray writes: I like the meme which has been around a while about our house - how we, the realtor, the town, etc see it.
• March 8, 2012, Lori writes: Thanks for the laugh. I needed it today. Especially the blogging one. I laughed SO hard. There are some funny ones out there. Thanks for rounding some of them up!
• March 13, 2012, Hillary writes: These are hysterical!! My mom is a teacher and is gonna totally LOL at that first "meme" ...and don't feel bad--this is the first time I've heard that word too! :)

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On February 22, 2012, the French Prime Minister François Fillon declared that the word mademoiselle, the French equivalent of "Miss," has been banned from use in official French documents. Many years ago English-speaking countries adopted Ms. to replace both Mrs. and Miss. Germany dropped Fräulein and uses just Frau for all women. French feminists viewed two titles for women as a form of discrimination, pointing out that there is no "mondemoiseau" denoting the single marital status of males.

In a country where linguistic change comes extremely slowly, thanks to the Académie Française — the official French language police that dates all the way back to 1635 — this change is huge! For the time being, it is only on an official, administrative level, but surely the shift will trickle down over time. Here's an example of the three categories of marital status on a non-governmental form.

In an online video I viewed, the reactions of French women are mixed. Some welcome the change, saying that though the time for doing away with mademoiselle is long since overdue, they would much rather have equal pay for the same jobs held by men. However other women and girls have different takes on it. A little girl said she does not want to be called madame. An older woman (une femme d'un certain âge) said, giggling, that she would love to have a man call her mademoiselle. I LOL'd when I saw her say that, knowing the French love for flirting, what they call "le flirt." (I wonder who borrowed from whom....)

I have to say that what English speakers did in creating Ms., which was basically a totally new title, makes more sense than what both Germany and France have done. Those two countries have thrown out the title that designates either youthfulness or singleness, using instead the title that has always signaled that the woman is married — Frau and Madame. It's easy to understand the negative reactions of some females to this change, as mentioned above.

One summer I was in France I remember the huge buzz there was about talk of outlawing three English expressions and making up three French expressions to replace them. Instead of le chewing gum they were going to insist people use la pâte à mâcher (paste for chewing), for le cowboy le vaché (a masculine variant of the French word for cow, la vache), and most ridiculously for le t-shirt the French would have had to use une chemise en forme de t (a shirt if the form of a t). Just rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?! Vive l'Académie Française! The French people went ballistic about how stupid it all was, refusing to make such changes in their speech, and the changes were never officially made. We'll see how this Madame thing plays out in everyday life. Vive la révolution!

Here's something from one of the French feminist sites on the subject:

Mademoiselle, la case en trop basically means "Miss, one box too many." That little slogan made me think of a very common French expression — Il lui manque une case. = He's missing a box. That's the French way of saying "He's one brick short of a load." I think every language must have humorous ways of saying someone is a little off. The Germans have the expression Er hat nicht alle Tassen im Schrank (He doesn't have all the cups in the cupboard).

I found a list in my files of other, sometimes gentler ways we English speakers have of saying the same thing. I post it today for your enjoyment.

Other ways of saying "one brick short of a load"

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

A few peas short of a casserole.

A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.

A room temperature IQ.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

As smart as bait.

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

Bright as Alaska in December.

Chimney's clogged.

Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one box.

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.

Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

Fell out of the family tree.

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.

Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

Half a bubble off plumb. (for my carpenter readers out there)

Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

He's missing a microchip.

He's so dense, light bends around him.

He thinks you make nets by tying holes together.

Her sewing machine's out of thread.

His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

His banjo's missing a string.

His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

His flag doesn't go all the way to the top.

His guitar doesn't play a full chord.

His Slinky's kinked.

If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

If he had another brain, it would be lonely.

If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get change back.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little further apart than most.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

No grain in the silo.

Not playing Rook with a full deck.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

One card short of a full deck. OR He's not playing with a full deck.

One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

One neuron short of a synapse.

One quart shy of full.

One taco short of a combination plate.

Receiver is off the hook. (young people won't understand this one in the near future)

Skylight leaks a little.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.

Surfing in Nebraska.

Takes him an hour and a half to watch "60 Minutes."

The cheese slid off his cracker.

The lights are on, but nobody's home.

The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

Personal story: After one of our probably two trips to Kentucky Fried Chicken in our lives where the girl behind the counter didn't seem to have all her marbles, Becka said about her later that she seemed to be "One spice short of a secret blend." That has become one of my personal favorites!

Do you have a favorite not in my list? Please share it with us.

quotation...

"Character of steel is forged on the anvil of hardship." – Brad Lapiska

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Photography is the only hobby where we can shoot people and cut off their heads, legally.

Comments

• February 29, 2012, Ray writes: A few classics: The elevator doesn't reach the top floor. The light's on, but nobody's home. Both oars aren't in the water. Not the brightest light in the harbor.
• February 29, 2012, Elizabeth writes: My initial reaction was that I am going to start saying "He doesn't have all the cups in the cupboard." But as I continued reading, I changed my mind. "One spice short of a secret blend" is the best one on that list!
• February 29, 2012, Vikki writes: I hated it when Ms. came into popularity here, but for the government to insist on it?!? One of my favorite saying is "He doesn't have both oars in the water'.
• February 29, 2012, Crawford Wiley writes: I'm sure there are many ramifications of this for the French people, but I can't help thinking of it as a bit of a social help, since the French also use Monsieur, Madame, and Mademoiselle in the same way that we use "Sir" and "Ma'am". This increases usage tremendously, I would think, and for beginning French students not yet versed in French culture, it's a bit of a panic moment to figure out whether the lady at the cash register is a "Madame" or a "Mademoiselle", since in English we'd simply call her "Ma'am". (I opted for Madame, incidentally, and she didn't smack me.)
• February 29, 2012, Sam Schnaiter writes: How about, "Only one oar in the water."
• February 29, 2012, Eric writes: Great post! Infotaining, as always. Language is messy enough without government involvement. HA! As for the list: I sometimes enjoy a little irony by intentionally messing up the insult: Not the sharpest bulb in the crayon box; A few bricks short of a happy meal; His hamster doesn't go all the way to the top floor; etc.
• February 29, 2012, Robin writes: As someone who works with a database of names ALL DAY, I would like to say that I LOVE the title Ms. It covers so much and makes my job so much easier. This is one "Mrs." who doesn't mind being called "Ms. " at all. Of course, I may just be one spice short.......
• February 29, 2012, Carrie writes: My favorite: One spice short of a secret blend. I had forgotten that it was a Mrs. Loach original! (Mrs. not Ms.--I have always disliked that abbreviation.) (But glad it makes Robin's job easier.)
• March 1, 2012, Uwe writes: In German we also use: Bei ihm ist eine Schraube locker. (He's got a screw loose.) Er ist nicht ganz dicht. (He's barely leakproof.) Er hat sie nicht alle. (He's got not all of them.) [I hope I'm translating correctly as to me I've got not all of english expressions ...] By the way we in Germany use more and more "junge Frau" (young woman) in place of formerly "Fräulein". As to me it is de facto the same.
• March 1, 2012, Uwe writes: One more comes to my mind: Wie bekommt man sein Gehirn auf Erbsengröße? Aufblasen! (How do you get his brain to the size of a pea? Blow it up!)
• March 1, 2012, Jon Bell writes: One of my favorites to use is an old one from Johnny Carson: "His blender doesn't go all the way to purée!"
• March 1, 2012, Bruce writes: Some that I've used before: Bright as a 3 watt bulb No frosting on his cupcake No cheese on his sandwich If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose Enjoyed the list and will use to expand my vocabulary.
• March 2, 2012, Don Johnson writes: Hi Rob What struck me in your post was the revelation that the French have language police. I thought that was an "only in Quebec" thing. I wonder if this exists in other countries, or is it just the French who are insecure about their language? Maranatha! Don Johnson Jer 33.3
• March 3, 2012, Tim writes: In Germany, there is also another expression: "Neben der Kappe." or "Not with it."
• March 6, 2012, A.H. writes: My favorite comes from a girl who stayed in my room earlier this semester: "Not the brightest star in the sky."

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I'll start off with several animal warning signs.

I appreciate knowing the immensity of the danger ahead, but it would be great also to know what creature to watch out for in this next situation.

I wonder if the good folk in Colonial Williamsburg think this might be how "bird flu" is spread.

Here's a welcoming warning.

My son Mark saw this one in a store and knew Dad and his readers would appreciate the contradiction.

What is wrong with this sign?

Here's another food-related sign.

For me, having to keep track of the number of stones I skipped would be deterrent.

Maybe one of my readers could enlighten us as to what this next one is about.

Here are several door-related signs.

I wonder if this next sign causes more people to "touch and see" than a Wet Paint sign would.

grandchild update...

This past weekend Becka, Nora, Topher, and I drove up to Detroit to see Megan, Jim, Drew, and Maddie. After doing really well for two days after the C-section delivery, Megan started to develop preeclampsia. Shortly after we got there Friday afternoon, they began a 24-hour magnesium drip to avoid seizures. Then for several days Meg's blood pressure was a roller coaster, sometimes as high as 190/100, with great variety in both numbers. She was finally able to go home yesterday afternoon and is doing much better now.

Jim's mom took Drew to meet his new sister the afternoon she was born. Here's the proud big brother with Madeleine Grace.

When they got back to Grandma Esther's apartment, he told her, "She's super cute, Grandma."

Becka and I were delighted to meet our first granddaughter.

Meanwhile back here in Greenville, our grandson Ryan continues to be adorable. Here's a picture Katie posted on Facebook last night.

I get to see him this Friday evening when my local kids all come to my house for dinner. Becka is helping out at Meg and Jim's this week before flying home Sunday evening.

quotation...

"What are you doing today to invest in forever?" – Chris Barney

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Did you hear about the Department of Motor Vehicles worker who resigned on Tuesday? He tried to resign on Monday but discovered that he'd been standing in the wrong line.

Comments

• February 22, 2012, Sonia writes: While in Switzerland a few years ago some students and I spotted (smelled) a farmer spraying his fields with fertilizer that we were sure was a by-product of the grass the cows had eaten. It was not very pleasant. The fields were; however, beautiful.
• February 22, 2012, Ron writes: So glad to hear that Megan has made it home. I can certainly appreciate your feelings this past week as we went through the same thing two years when our great granddaughter was born. Madeleine looks like a keeper, she is adorable. I am sure that Becka will be suggesting more trips to Michigan.
• February 22, 2012, Tammie writes: Yep, the sewage spray field is what it says. We have relatives who used to pig farm. All the runoff from the pig houses was put into a specially designed and tested "pond". When it started getting too full, the liquids were pumped out and put onto fields. The fields were also highly regulated, but not a place you wanted to tromp through unawares. Hence, the nice warning signs. With the smell all over, it's not like you could notice it without the sign. Ewww.
• February 22, 2012, Betty-Ann writes: My husband was a food inspector at meat processing plants for years and says that cows will eat anything. They are very curious. Love the pictures of the kids. Congrats on your first girl. We now have 6 girl and 5 boy grands. ; )
• February 22, 2012, Carrie writes: I love this post! Mark was right--I like the contradiction. Your granddaughter is simply lovely and I'm glad to hear that Megan is doing better.
• February 23, 2012, Dave writes: Ha! I live near Lanercost Priory, I'm amazed that sign hasn't popped up on t'internet before now!
• February 23, 2012, Ray writes: Those alligators look a lot like ornamental grass. Maybe the work order mistakenly had the workers install the "keep off grass" sign near the real alligators. Either way, I will stay away.

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Facebook is a fascinating phenomenon with currently about 850 million active users worldwide. I've done several posts on social media, one called Networking and the other called Connection VS Closeness, in which I explored different aspects of today's growing online existence. I won't rehash what I said in those posts. Instead I'll share some fresh humor related to Facebook (FB) and other social media, all of which came from Facebook friends.

As rapidly as news comes to us from traditional news sources, social media often delivers news even faster. Saturday evening I logged onto Facebook to wish a Happy Birthday! Joyeux anniversaire! or Alles Gute zum Geburtstag! to FB friends with birthdays that day. I noticed at the top of my FB page an update from a friend with whom I graduated from high school. She was lamenting the passing of Whitney Houston. Becka and I did not otherwise hear that news until 11:00 that evening.

Then on the Sunday morning edition of the Today Show, we were treated to something similar to the following cartoon about what happens when a famous person dies:

Facebook is the modern day leveler of humanity. It's where I find out who's dating whom, who got married to whom, who just added a new baby to the family, etc. As fast as young people update their "status," I wonder how far from reality the following cartoon actually is....

As I understand it, today's "smart phones" make most, if not all, the social media available virtually anywhere anytime.

Friendships on Facebook can be interesting, encouraging, and discouraging. Lots of people I know are doing lots of fascinating things, but some are going through difficulties or are headed towards tough times if they don't do course corrections. All in all, it's been a blessing to reconnect with classmates and former students, as well as family in France and other friends in other parts of the world. What it means, though, is a friend count of 1,600+ (mostly former students), and what that means is that there's no way in the world I can keep up with most of their news! I have ignored some requests because I truly have no idea who the person is and we have no friends in common. This next cartoon hits the nail on the head.

I probably should do a bit of housekeeping and delete some FB friends that I'm not sure I know and accepted in a moment of weakness.

Facebook is just one of many networking tools out there. Here's a good explanation of some of the most popular kinds of social media.

I'm not personally familiar with several of those, so I only marginally enjoy the humor.

I like not only things that make me laugh, but also things that make me think. In the last couple of days, several of my friends have posted an interesting critique, comparing traditional hymns with modern songs.

I would say that is a valid criticism of some of the newer music that's out there.

However, another friend posted a rebuttal to that critique.

That rebuttal is an equally valid criticism of some of the music that's been out there for a long time. I appreciate that the music pastor at our church chooses the very best from both older and newer songs, leaving out those with little value and using those good ones in the conservative musical style to which our congregation is accustomed.

As fun and interesting as social media can be, it can all consume an enormous amount of time, if we let it. I have read all sorts of figures about how much time people spend on social media — some putting it at hours a day! It's probably hard to calculate since, for those with smart phones, etc., the stream of incoming info is unending, what with all the texts, Tweets, status updates, e-mails, etc. Believe me, my presence on FB is underwhelming, and my time spent there is honestly negligible.

In connection with that, here's something from a FB friend who is a former student of mine. This one is especially dear to the heart of this French teacher.

For those who don't read French, it says, "Conjugation of the Facebook verb — I post, you comment, he likes, we share, you make public, they laugh, and no one is working." Probably humorously and sadly true. I wonder how much work time is lost due to employees' use of social media on the clock....

The use of social media brings certain consequences if it is used without discretion.

For some reason, I'm not seeing the "joy of tech" in the looks on those faces....

I'll close with a picture that's absolutely my favorite find on Facebook in quite a while — a picture of our new granddaughter Madeleine Grace Hawkins.

Maddie was born this morning at 10:48, weighing 7 lbs. 6 oz. Mother and baby are doing very well. Megan said everything went perfectly. They even let her hold the baby before they finished stitching her up. The Lord has blessed us with a wonderful little Valentine and we can't wait to meet her.

Do you use social media? Any thoughts on today's post?

quotation...

"True repentance of sin grieves not merely over the calamity that sin brings, but also over how sin defames God and puts us out of sync and fellowship with God." — Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Q: Why is Facebook like jail?
A: You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by people you don't really know.

Q: Why is Facebook like a refrigerator?
A: Because every few minutes you keep opening and closing it to see if anything good has suddenly appeared there.

Q: Why should you create a Facebook account with the name "No One"?
A: Because when somebody posts something stupid, you can click on "Like" and it will say, "No One Likes This."

Comments

• February 14, 2012, Gaye writes: Is there a "like" tab here? :) Love the verb conjugation. Hope you don't mind if I share that with my Spanish classes! Beautiful granddaughter! Congratulations!
• February 14, 2012, Ron writes: Loved it: ) Congrats grandpa, what an absolutely beautiful granddaughter you have.
• February 14, 2012, garrison parrish writes: Ha, loved this post! i personally spend way too much time on facebook by chatting with friends, but i do a purge every once in awhile and try to keep it to only people that matter. Loved the Facebook jokes! And Congrats on the new addition to the family!!
• February 14, 2012, Elizabeth writes: There was a lot going on in this post, but I especially appreciated the contrast between the two "Worship- w...what happened" criticisms. Matt and I have been discipling a friend who recently became a Christian. The other night he said, "I'm starting to think the conspiracy theorists have it all wrong. The biggest problem in our society isn't some deep-rooted, complex plot - it's apathy." I believe he's right, and that it is true of worship as well. That apathy is neither new nor corrected. As far as social media, I am grateful for the opportunity to keep in touch with distant loved ones and to reconnect with old friends. However, I had to laugh a little self-consciously at the cartoon of the wedding. I purposely joined Facebook right before I expected to get engaged so that I could broadcast it. But that was a long, long time ago, and I've grown a lot since then... Thank you for posting. And congratulations on the newest addition to your family!
• February 14, 2012, Eileen writes: I love the FB verb conjugation. :) That's my favorite bit from this post. Merci bien!!
• February 15, 2012, Charis Manka writes: I like the "No one likes this" joke. :) :) Could even be something like, "No one wants to be your friend on Facebook." :)
• February 15, 2012, Michael writes: Great post today! You balanced humor, honesty, and sobriety very well. My wife and I used to be on Facebook but it just ate up so much time. We eventually lost our internet connection at home and couldn't monitor our pages anymore. So, we canceled them. We may get a page as a couple in the near future since we have internet at home again. We've observed that it could be a good way to keep up with friends and family and we've also noted that several in our church use it effectively to keep in touch with one another and to be aware of needs they may have.
• February 15, 2012, Vikki writes: Congrats Grandpa!! I love the famous person newscast. It's always interesting to hear newscasters try to fill up the time with banter in an attempt to keep people from turning them off while waiting for an event to happen or updated news to come. That's why they're paid the big bucks. But your translation of the process is right on the money as far as what's really being said. I've been able to keep up with friends and family across the county through Facebook, but some times I see posts that make we wonder why they felt it was relevant for them to announce to the world that they just burped.
• February 15, 2012, Betty-Ann writes: Congratulations on your beautiful granddaughter. Enjoyed the "no one likes this" FB joke. Becka posted on her blog. Really cute baby.
• February 16, 2012, Deborah writes: I *like* (actually *love*) the verb conjugation of facebook! :) Congratulations on your new granddaughter! She's beautiful! (But you already know that!) ;)
• February 18, 2012, Carrie writes: I like the worship posters, but my favorite part is your beautiful granddaughter. She is just so sweet.

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With Valentine's Day coming up next week, I thought I'd post some humor on love and marriage. Many people do little or nothing special on Valentine's Day, for one reason or another. But for others it's a neat time to remind others of their love for them.

I'll start this post off with a personal story. When I was a high school French student, my French Grandma Loach worked out a penpal situation for me with grandchildren of several of her family members in France. My penpals were cousins of mine who were high schoolers studying English. We not only enjoyed getting to know each other by letter, but we also delighted in sharing aspects of the culture of our respective countries with each other.

With Valentine's Day coming up, I bought cards with a message something like "Be My Valentine, Cousin" and mailed them. They wrote back, politely thanking me. However in her reply, my cousin Annie expressed bewilderment, explaining that in France, Valentine cards are exchanged only by sweethearts or spouses. She included a French Valentine card for me to see. She wondered how in the world I found a card for a cousin! I had to write back and tell her that holidays are so commercialized here in the US that you could probably find a card made especially for your cousin's dog's veterinarian.

Believe it or not, I still have that card she sent me over 35 years ago! Here's a scan of the front of that French Valentine card:

Knowing the reputation of the French for romance and knowing that Valentine cards are exchanged only by lovers, I was a little nervous about opening the card, wondering what steamy message I might find inside. Since this is a family-friendly blog, I almost blush to show you what I found. However if you have the courage to continue reading (caveat lector), here's a scan of the message inside the card:

For those who don't read French, Vive Saint-Valentin = "Long live St. Valentine!" No one can say it romantically quite like the French, huh?

If you're still with me (somehow I just knew you'd read on!), I hope you've recovered sufficiently to continue and enjoy the rest of the humor....

During a conference, a young woman was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. They flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave their speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, the young man drew a number sign # on his paper napkin. She excitedly wrote down her phone number and passed it back.

Looking startled for a moment, he flipped the napkin over and drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper left-hand corner.

A young pastor's sister was getting married. She wanted a small, casual wedding and asked him to officiate.

Since he had never performed a marriage ceremony before, he asked an older pastor for advice.

"My sister has asked me to marry her," he said, "and I'm not sure what to do."

The experienced pastor replied, "Try telling her you just want to be friends."

A couple was celebrating their 60^th wedding anniversary. An interviewer asked, "Could you please share the secret to a long marriage?"

The husband answered, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or weaknesses. Always bear in mind that it is because of her shortcomings and weaknesses that she could not find a better husband than you."

The child was a typical four-year-old girl — cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out the wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.

One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.

"Now do you understand?" he asked.

"I think so," she said. "Is that when mommy came to work for us?"

The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. But that really didn't bother her much until one evening when her husband called from down the hall, somewhat dismayed, "Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written in it."

With the current economic constraints, some of you may be looking for lower cost options for doing something special. Nothing says I love you like a meal at a favorite restaurant.

Here's another culinary suggestion for Valentine's Day.

If all goes according to plan, our granddaughter will be born by C-section on Valentines Day. We would all appreciate your prayers for a safe, uncomplicated delivery for Megan and baby. If you weren't reading my blog back in 2007, you can read about the birth of our grandson Drew six and a half weeks before his due date.

quotation...

"Don't love stuff and use people. Love people and use stuff." – Eric Newton

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

No matter how serious life gets, it's great if you have one person you can be completely stupid with.

Comments

• February 8, 2012, Carrie writes: I enjoyed this so much. :) The steamy French card--my blood pressure is almost back to normal. . . I like the advice the man gave on his 60th anniversary. As a wife, it's good for me to think about that shoe on the other foot too.
• February 8, 2012, Michael writes: It is great to have someone to be stupid with (whether intentionally or unintentionally) and know that she will keep me and I will keep her.
• February 8, 2012, Vikki writes: That White Castle thing. They've been doing this for a number of years now. We used to live in the Chicago suburbs and I remember thinking it was a joke the first time I heard it advertised. Valentine's Day at White Castle with a memorable sit-down meal, complete with red table cloths and plastic flowers PLUS free dessert and a downloadable photo. By reservation only, of course. A true opportunity for the die-hard romantic!! (And, no, my thoughtful husband didn't even consider taking me to this noteworthy event.) Oh, and those bacon roses? I think I'll pass, thank you . . . I like to sniff my roses and I just don't think they'll smell very pretty after a few days. By the way, I wonder how many of your readers will go out to dinner or do anything special for Valentine's Day.
• February 8, 2012, Jan writes: Wow! The things I learn from reading your blog! http://www.whitecastle.com/promotions/Valentine'sDay2012
• February 8, 2012, Karen M. writes: No matter how serious life gets, it's great if you have one person you can be completely stupid with. Absolutely LOVE this quotation!
• February 9, 2012, Valerie Coffman writes: I was just wondering if you wrote to your pen-pals in French or in English. Or did they write in English and you wrote in French to practice the new languages you all were learning?
• February 9, 2012, Rob writes: @Valerie - We wrote in both languages. I wrote everything I thought I could say in French then finished in English. They wrote everything they thought they could in English and finished in French. I learned so much by doing that! Wanting to know what they were saying, I'd look up words and expressions, adding to my active vocabulary. But also, knowing that what they had written in French was right, I'd use things they had written in previous letters in writing back to them, making it apply to my family and me. It was a great learning experience, and it made meeting in person when I was in college a truly exciting experience!
• February 13, 2012, Elizabeth writes: If you are looking to pop the question at Valentine's Day and burgers aren't your thing consider this.

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Have you ever wondered how some companies got their name? Several days ago a reader sent me a link to a video clip — an interesting, short report on where several product names came from. This got me to wondering how many products I use or know of whose names have interesting and perhaps forgotten origins. I found an exhaustive (exhausting?) list on Wikipedia and on several other sites. I'm sharing only the ones my readers might enjoy. I did research myself to verify and flesh out several. Some I knew, some I had forgotten, and others were quite fascinating to learn about.

A&P – from the Great Atlantic and Pacific Tea Company.

A&W Root Beer – named for the family names of founders Roy Allen and Frank Wright

Adidas – from the name of the founder Adolf (Adi) Dassler

Adobe Systems – from the Adobe Creek that ran behind the house of co-founder John Warnock

Alcoa – Aluminum Company of America

Aldi – a combination of Albrecht (name of the founders) and discount

Amoco – American Oil Company – now part of BP

Apple – Steve Jobs had worked during the summer at an apple farm and believed apples to be the most perfect fruit. He and Steve Wozniak were trying to figure out a name for their new company, and they decided that if they couldn't think of one by the end of the day that was better, they would choose Apple. They couldn't, so on April 1, 1976, Apple Computer, Inc. was born.

Arby's – the initials of its founders, the Raffel Brothers, even though customers might wrongly conclude that the initials stand for roast beef"

ASICS – an acronym for anima sana in corpore sano, which, translated from Latin, means "Healthy soul in a healthy body"

AT&T – American Telephone and Telegraph Corporation officially changed its name to AT&T in the 1990s

BP – formerly British Petroleum

Carrefour – chain of supermarkets and hypermarkets which started with one store near a crossroads (carrefour in French) in Annecy, France

CiCi's Pizza – from the first letters of the last names of the founders of the franchise — Joe Croce and Mike Cole

Coca-Cola – derived from the coca leaves and kola nuts used as flavoring. Coca-Cola creator John S. Pemberton changed the K of kola to C to make the name look better

Cutco – Cooking Utensils Company

CVS – Consumer Value Stores

DHL – named after its founders' last names, Adrian Dalsey, Larry Hillblom, and Robert Lynn

ESPN – Entertainment and Sports Programming Network

Esso – the pronunciation of the initials S. O. in Standard Oil of New Jersey

Facebook – The name of this extremely popular site derives from the colloquial name of "The Photo Address Book", a student directory at Phillips Exeter Academy. Exeter is a private boarding school attended by Mark Zuckerberg for several years and where he observed and took part in lots of social interaction. The Photo Address Book was given to the students with the intention of helping them get to know each other better. They lovingly referred to it as "The Facebook." Below is Mark Zuckerberg's picture in Exeter's "facebook" during his student days there.

FedEx – abbreviation of Federal Express Corporation, the company's original name

Five Guys – American restaurant chain founded by "five guys" – Jerry Murrell and his four sons. The "five guys" would later become the Murrell sons, after Jerry and his wife Janie had a fifth son two years after opening their first restaurant.

Garmin – named after its founders, Gary Burrell and Dr. Min Kao

Gatti's Pizza (also Gatti Town) – Gatti was the maiden name of Pat Eure, wife of company founder Jim Eure.

GEICO – from Government Employees Insurance Company

Google – an originally accidental misspelling of the word googol and settled upon because google.com was unregistered. Googol was proposed to reflect the company's mission to organize the immense amount of information available online. A googol is the large number 10¹⁰⁰, that is, the digit 1 followed by 100 zeros.

Groupon – short for "group coupon"

Häagen-Dazs – name invented in 1961 by ice-cream makers Reuben and Rose Mattus of the Bronx "to convey an aura of the old-world traditions and craftsmanship". The name has no meaning.

Haribo (makers of gummi bears and other candies) – from the name of the founder and the German home town of the company: Hans Riegel, Bonn

Harpo Productions – production company founded by Oprah Winfrey. Harpo is Oprah backwards. The name Oprah itself is interesting. She was originally named "Orpah" after the Biblical character in the Book of Ruth, first name was supposed to be Orpah, after Ruth's sister-in-law in the Bible. I found several explanations of its current form, but the prevailing one is that it was misspelled Oprah on her birth certificate by the family's midwife, and the name stuck. I'm not sure that the company would have been named Hapro though ... it doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

H&R Block – founded by two brothers, Henry and Richard Bloch (with "Bloch" changed to "Block" to avoid mispronunciation)

IKEA – a composite of the first letters in the Swedish founder Ingvar Kamprad's name, in addition to the first letters of the names of the property and the village in which he grew up — Ingvar Kamprad Elmtaryd Agunnaryd

Johnson & Johnson – Originally a partnership between brothers James and Edward Johnson in 1885, the addition of brother Robert Johnson led to formal incorporation as Johnson & Johnson in 1887.

Kinko's – from the college nickname of founder, Paul Orfalea. He was called Kinko because he had curly red hair. The company was bought by FedEx in 2004.

Kmart – named for Sebastian S. Kresge, who opened the first Kmart in 1962 as a division of his S. S. Kresge Company. The company became Kmart Corporation in 1977. After purchasing Sears, Roebuck & Company in 2005, the merged company became Sears Holdings Corporation, with Kmart continuing as a discount store chain within the new structure.

Lego – combination of the Danish leg godt, which means to "play well". Lego also means "I put together" in Latin, but the Lego Group claims this is only a coincidence and the etymology of the word is entirely Danish.

Mars – named after Frank C. Mars and his wife, Ethel, who started making candy in 1911. Their son, Forrest E. Mars, joined with Bruce Murrie, the son of a Hershey executive, to form M&M Ltd (from Mars & Murrie). Forrest took over the family business after his father's death and merged the two companies in 1964. After retiring from Mars, Inc. in 1993, Forrest founded Ethel M. Chocolates, named after his mother.

McDonald's – from the name of the brothers Dick McDonald and Mac McDonald, who founded the first McDonald's restaurant in 1940

Microsoft – coined by Bill Gates to represent the company that was devoted to microcomputer software. Originally christened Micro-Soft, the name eventually lost the hyphen.

Nabisco – formerly The National Biscuit Company, changed in 1971 to Nabisco

Nike – named for the Greek goddess of victory

Owens-Corning – Corning Glass and Owens-Illinois joined forces for the production of glass fiber. The Pink Panther became Owens-Corning's corporate mascot in 1980, to promote the sales of PINK Fiberglas® insulation.

Pepsi – named from the digestive enzyme pepsin

Pixar – from pixel and the co-founder's name, Alvy Ray Smith

QVC – Quality, Value and Convenience

RCA – Radio Corporation of America

Reebok – alternate spelling of rhebok (Pelea capreolus), an African antelope

Saab – from Swedish Svenska Aeroplan aktiebolaget (Swedish Aeroplane Company)

Skype – the original concept for the name was Sky-Peer-to-Peer, which morphed into Skyper, then Skype

Sprint – from its parent company, Southern Pacific Railroad Internal Communications. At the time, pipelines and railroad tracks were the cheapest place to lay communications lines, as the right-of-way was already leased or owned.

Starbucks – named after Starbuck, a character in Herman Melville's novel Moby-Dick.

Taco Bell – named after founder Glen Bell

TCBY – Originally, the company's name was "This Can't Be Yogurt", but a lawsuit from a competitor named "I Can't Believe It's Yogurt!" forced TCBY to create a new backronym for its initials: "The Country's Best Yogurt".

Tim Hortons – Canadian fast food doughnut, sandwich, and coffee shop named after founder and hockey player Tim Horton. In Canada Tim Hortons is nicknamed "Tim's" and "Timmy's."

Umbro – founded in 1924 by the Humphrey Brothers, Harold and Wallace

Verizon – a combination of veritas (Latin for truth) and horizon

Volkswagen – from the German for "people's car." Ferdinand Porsche wanted to produce a car that was affordable for the masses.

Williams-Sonoma – founded by Chuck Williams in Sonoma, California

Xerox – named from xerography, a word derived from the Greek xeros (dry) and graphos (writing)

Yahoo! – The word Yahoo was invented by Jonathan Swift and used in his book Gulliver's Travels. It represents a person who is repulsive in appearance and barely human. Yahoo! founders David Filo and Jerry Yang jokingly considered themselves yahoos.

I hope you enjoyed learning about or being reminded of the history behind some well-known company names. If you know of an interesting one, please add it to the comments. Reading about Owens-Corning reminded me of a ringtone I had on my old cell phone, and I made myself a new one — my Pink Panther Ringtone — and sent it to my phone.

quotation...

"To sleep when terror all around demands we be awake marks our silent worship of Him. Just ask Jesus in the boat." — Brad Baugham

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

The Occupy Wall Street protest has inspired unemployed computer geeks to unite and start a new protest. They are calling it Occupy Starbucks.

Comments

• February 1, 2012, Nancy McGuire writes: How about 3M - Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing - Post-it notes, Scotch tape, Library systems, etc.
• February 1, 2012, David writes: Google's story just goes to show that when selecting a company name, you should do your homework. All they would have had to do is google "google" and they would have gotten "did you mean googol?"
• February 1, 2012, Andrew Fry writes: And I always thought that Häagen-Dazs was Swedish for Heart Disease... :P
• February 1, 2012, Ann M writes: I expected to see Wendy's on the list. The fast food chain was named after the founder's daughter. What I would like to know about M&Ms is how they get the Ms on the candies. Another interesting area to explore is town names and their origins. I've been collecting postmarks since 1989. Mail processing centers make it harder to find postmarks for small towns, but it's still a fascinating hobby.
• February 2, 2012, ray writes: IBM - we all know the letters, but they started from a time clock company. The International Time Recording Company (ITR) of Endicott,NY. These master / slave clocks were in schools and factories. They became IBM in 1919. Somebody I know has the master clock from the school he went to as a child, and it works - after he put some "time" into reviving it...
• February 7, 2012, Vikki writes: Motorola started when the company began manufacturing car radios in 1930; the name is a combination of "motor" and "Victrola."
• February 11, 2012, Dan writes: Wow, that sure warms the heart of this trivia buff.

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Have you ever played Rock, Paper, Scissors? It's a simple game, but I've read that there is actually strategy involved in winning. The game consists of three gestures (weapons) — rock, represented by a clenched fist, paper, represented by an open hand, with the fingers extended and touching, and scissors, represented by two fingers extended and separated.

The object of the game is to select a gesture that defeats the opponent's. The winning gestures are as follows:

Rock smashes scissors = the rock wins.
Paper covers rock = the paper wins.
Scissors cut paper = the scissors win.

If both players use the same gesture, that round is tied and the players "throw" again. Normally Rock, Paper, Scissors is played in a "best two out of three" match.

As I did some research for this post, I was surprised to learn that there is a World RPS Society website. As I said earlier, there are supposedly strategies to help you win. On the World RPS Society website there's a link on How to Beat Anyone at Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Knowing that RPS is an international phenomenon, I figured it must have a name in other languages. I found that in French it's Pierre, Papier, Ciseaux and in German it's Stein, Papier, Schere.

In case this game is new to you, I'll show several pictures to see if you remember which gesture wins.

The picture below is rock and scissors. So who wins this round?

Rock smashes scissors, so the rock wins.

The picture below is rock and paper. Who wins this round?

Paper covers rock, so the paper wins. So you see that rock does not always win.

Rock, Paper, Scissors has long been used as a peaceful means of conflict resolution. According to Wikipedia, the game dates back to the time of the Chinese Han Dynasty (206 BC – 220 AD)! I looked online for mentions of Rock, Paper, Scissors in resolving conflicts and learned there are even court cases where the judge ordered the parties to do RPS to settle the dispute. I even found it mentioned on the site of a conflict resolution coach, along with a funny sign!

I was amazed to learn that it's not just people who use this game to settle disputes — apparently even cat fights can be avoided with it! Here are two cats doing Rock, Paper, Scissors.

And the winner? The cat on the right — paper covers rock!

The whole reason I did this post was because I had the picture below in my files and wanted to share it with you. In this one it's scissors and paper, so who wins/won?

If only World War II could have been settled so easily!

Have you played Rock, Paper, Scissors recently? Do you even like the game? I've played it before, but could never do it for very long. I just couldn't stay interested. If you live outside the USA, I'd like to know if this game is played in your country.

quotation...

"It's six and a half of one and half a baker's dozen of the other." — my son-in-law Topher

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Middle age — when you trade in beauty sleep for mediocre looking sleep.

Comments

• January 25, 2012, Heather writes: If you get bored playing regular RPS, try Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. ^_^ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock
• January 25, 2012, Kim Guilliams writes: When I taught English in South Korea, the children there used rock, paper, scissors for conflict resolution all the time. My brothers and I used it, too. I think I need to file that away in the back of my mind for when my two small children are old enough to start, um, "discussions" with one another.
• January 25, 2012, Jeremy Patterson writes: Great post! Yes, I grew up playing this in Japan, because the origin is actually Asia (China, apparently). In Japanese, it's called "jan-ken-pon." It was kind of our childhood equivalent of eenie-meenie-miny-mo (sp?). Jeremy
• January 25, 2012, Tony writes: Rob, For some reason I thought that I had learned about RPS-101 from you. In any case, if adding "lizard" and "Spock" aren't enough for your readers, check out http://www.umop.com/rps101.htm.
• January 25, 2012, Vikki writes: Love the cat's playing RPS! I haven't played it in a long time, but I've seen in several times on TV programs. Ah yes, a baker's dozen. I don't remember the last time I saw something sold that way. We did have a farm stand near us when we lived in IL where they sold their corn-on-the-cob that way, but that was years ago.
• January 25, 2012, Jan writes: A fun youth group game based on RPS is Karate Man, Sniper, Gorilla. Kids stand in pairs back to back. When the leader counts to three, they turn around and strike the appropriate pose. The Karate Man beats the Sniper; the Sniper beats the Gorilla; and the Gorilla beats the Karate Man.
• January 25, 2012, ray writes: I laughed out loud on the last picture, but then realized that it is likely that neither man had THE ROCK of our salvation.
• January 26, 2012, Sue writes: We used to play gun, lasso, bow and arrow. (Gun beats bow and arrow, lasso beats gun, bow and arrow beat lasso).
• January 27, 2012, Carrie writes: My kids play it sometimes, but I will keep in mind to have them use it for conflict resolution. :)
• January 28, 2012, Chris Ravanello writes: Hi! I have played this over the years in Canada. Just saw them use this in the show Castle! It was always a game and didn't solve much. I'll have to see if my grandkids know this. Maybe they will use it as dispute resolution.
• January 30, 2012, Michael (Constant Conservative) writes: I have 3 of the dice which have the words written on faces. I think each die has 15 faces, IIRC. The game is a great dispute resolution device at my workplace. I was able to, just today, win the right to eat all of the banana peppers which come stuck in the corner of a Papa John's pizza box. Now, everything will be just fine as long as the 10 people who were not part of the competition will agree with the outcome . . . .

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In my MLF102 classes this week, we are learning about reflexive verbs — verbs where the subject is doing something to itself. To get my students thinking about the name of this kind of verb, I ask them what they see when they look in the mirror. The answer, of course, is a reflection of themselves. In the picture on the right the cat sees itself, or in French, le chat se voit. But you've probably already noticed that the cat is seeing something else. I wonder how we see something different from what is actually in front of the mirror. I'm reminded of James 1:23 and 24 "For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like."

I've seen a series of ads lately where the people looking in the mirror see a younger version of themselves. Here are a couple I found online:

That's the opposite of my experience. I remember the first time I looked in the mirror and saw my dad looking back at me! And now it's my grandpa ... or someone's grandpa anyway.... But I'm thankful for mirrors, even though I'm not always encouraged by what I see. Mirrors have saved me from many embarrassments.

Here's an amusing picture I saw as I was preparing this post.

That one is more like the cat in the mirror above, and probably more like what we see when we look in the mirror. We often fool ourselves into thinking we're what we're not. We see someone more color-coordinated, more stylish, or more whatever than is really the case. It's then that I'm thankful for the honesty of my wife, children, and close friends, even though what they say isn't always what I wanted to hear. When I've listened, I don't look as ridiculous to the world at large.

I have always liked To a Louse: On Seeing One on a Lady's Bonnet at Church (1786) by the Scottish poet Robert Burns. At church he observes a louse crawling all over the hat of an otherwise well-groomed young lady. Here's the final stanza in the original, and then in English we're more accustomed to:

O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae monie a blunder free us,
An' foolish notion:
What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us,
An' ev'n devotion!

(And would some Power the small gift give us
To see ourselves as others see us!
It would from many a blunder free us,
And foolish notion:
What airs in dress and gait would leave us,
And even devotion!)

Others certainly do see us better than we see ourselves.

I'll end with a cartoon I saw on someone's Facebook and enjoyed:

This Saturday is our primary election here in South Carolina. As we've been assailed with literature and TV ads, it's almost humorous to see how each candidate's opponents have a different view of him from what he is portraying himself to be. It makes you wonder if they checked with those they could trust to tell them the truth before entering the race. Now it's a matter of choosing the candidate with the fewest number of warts that seem to be so visible others!

How about you? Do you cheerfully receive honest feedback from your loved ones? It's not always easy, is it? Getting to see ourselves as others see us, though, is a gift, if we'll accept it as such.

quotation...

"Sanctification is not an individual sport." — Eric Newton

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Oh no! My reality check bounced.

Comments

• January 18, 2012, Michael writes: Great lesson in today's post. We easily forget that our hearts are deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.
• January 18, 2012, Carrie writes: The other day a lady with graying hair and a teenage son said to me something about "people our age." I was chuckling to myself later and thinking how she must be mistaken about us being around the same age, when it hit me that I could easily have a teenage son, and my hair is definitely graying. Hmmm. I can't be 40! I'm way too young!
• January 18, 2012, Laura B. writes: It has been neat to hear about MLF 102 from a distance. Back when I took it, I never imagined that it would become a family tradition!
• January 18, 2012, Karen M. writes: Really like the two top pictures. Because I am officially--as of January 15th--in the senior citizen bracket, I often think younger, feel younger, walk younger, exercise younger, and talk younger. Until the reality of a mirror looms large before me.
• January 19, 2012, Marilyn writes: The woman I see in the mirror is not me - that's my Gran!
• January 20, 2012, Vikki writes: I remember when I turned 40 my mother said, "You can't be 40. I'm 40!" Now I have 2 son-in-laws who are in their early 40's!!!! What happened?!?
• January 20, 2012, Ann M writes: Every time I get to feeling old, I remind myself that everyone who graduated from bj with me is now the same age as I am. Since Rob graduated before I did, he is still the same number of years older than me as he was back then. When a friend became a great grandparent, I asked him, "How does it feel to be a great grandfather?" He said, "Being a great grandfather is fine. What I don't like is being the father of a grandmother." As for Burns' poem, I'm familiar with the original version. It loses something in the translation to current English.

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Over Christmas break, Becka and our grandson Drew watched an online video from Mister Rogers Neighborhood on PBS's site about how crayons are made. It's amazing to see how many steps are involved in the process. If you'd rather see a newer, shorter video on the process, you can view it on the How Stuff Works site. You need to scroll down halfway and, for whatever reason, you have to manually unmute the video. The videos reminded me of pictures in my files. After a bit of web researching, I came up with a lot of neat info.

This month the Chinese New Year begins on January 23. The Chinese have a twelve-year rotation, based on the Chinese zodiac. We will be entering the year of the Dragon. Below is a chart telling which animal corresponds to which year for quite a few years back (if you want to see what year you were born in) and more years yet to come.

Below is a picture of crayons carved by Diem Chau — one crayon for each of the twelve animals.

I also found some Diem Chau crayons carved featuring some of the main curriencies in the world.

Diem Chau also did some crayon carving to represent the likenesses of six soccer stars of the 2010 World Cup.

There are actually other crayon artists out there. Here are some crayons intricately carved by Pete Goldlust.

Some of you old timers remember having a Crayola box of 64 colors like the one pictured at the beginning of this post. Through the years Binney & Smith retired some colors and added new ones. Below are two pictures — one of 13 retired colors with the names of the colors obscured. See how many you can identify.

Now here is the original picture with the names. How many did you get right?

As a French teacher I cannot think of the word crayon without thinking of the French noun le crayon, which means the pencil. I found a video on how pencils are made.

I also found a picture of some carved pencils by Tony Wispinski.

As cool as those are, though, here is some far more delicate carving done, not into the wood of the pencil, but in the lead tips! The artist's name is Dalton Ghetti. Here are 26 pencils, one with each letter of the English alphabet.

Ghetti has also done some pencils with tools in the tips.

I just cannot fathom the amount of time and patience that goes into that kind of work! I'm not blessed with either ... let alone the talent! Other examples of his carvings can be seen online.

I saw something similar done in colored pencils with New Year's greetings for 2011 done by artist Harwinder Singh Gill.

That seems even more difficult to me since I break colored pencil leads faster than regular pencil leads!

Something else I saw done with colored pencils was to make a wall shelf with them.

I found a site that gave some unique ways to recycle pencils, which include one I've already featured and some other ones that are very interesting. Here's one of the worst, in my opinion.

Sitting in that chair seems reminiscent of a fakir lying on a bed of nails!

Here's a pencil I saw at the IT Service Desk on campus last summer.

One mundane use for crayons and pencils is writing. Last January I did a blog post called Is Cursive Dying? In that post I showed a picture of the Zaner-Bloser writing method used in the elementary school I attended. Recently I received an e-mail through the contact link on my site from their Content Specialist, offering a special discount to my readers. Here's the information I received:

Handwriting Overview from Zaner-Bloser

Click on the ZB Fonts Online button and enter the code ZBFOP to receive the paid version of ZB Fonts Online for only $14.99 (usual price is $30.99). Expires 12/31/12

Also Spelling Instruction from Zaner-Bloser

I pass that on for anyone who might be interested, and I thank the folks at Zaner-Bloser for their generous offer.

And now the promised bit of humor, perfect for us in the US as we have now officially entered "Primary Season" and are probably already suffering from election fatigue. It's going to be a l-o-n-g ten months!

I hope this has been an enjoyable post. I look forward to the comments.

quotation...

(This is more a paraphrse than a quotation, in reference to Colossians 3.) "The things we are instructed to 'put on' in this chapter is not a 'to-do list,' but a 'to be list.'" — Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, while others are bright, some have weird names, but they all have somehow learned to live together in the same box.

Comments

• January 11, 2012, Michael writes: I need to get ready to be re-acquainted with crayons since our son will be using them sooner than I realize. I believe I remember watching that Mister Rogers segment when it originally aired. It was neat to watch them make crayons. With SC next on the primary calendar the commercials here are already in full swing. I saw three in the five minutes of TV I watched this morning. Thankfully we have to endure just 10 days of this and then we'll be left alone for a good while. I'm a dragon so I guess this is a good year for me.
• January 11, 2012, Ann M writes: The making crayons and pencils videos were fascinating. I had often wondered how it was done. Now I know. The factory tours that I went on as a kid were for edible things. In second grade, it was to a peanut brittle factory. Then I went to the Hershey Chocolate factory several times back when they still gave tours of the factory itself. The third one that I remember was the Nabisco factory. Thanks for posting the video links as well as for the pleasant trip down memory lane.
• January 11, 2012, Karen M. writes: Fabulous, intriguing, fascinating, enlightening post, Rob!
• January 12, 2012, Vikki writes: NO! I remember coloring with violet blue, orange red and green blue when I was a kid and now they've retired them? What's this world coming to?!? Oh, and that chair - think I'll pass on that one . . .
• January 13, 2012, Carrie writes: My kids and I really enjoyed the carvings and the video showing how pencils are made.
• January 13, 2012, Jon Bell writes: We went to the Crayola factory in Easton PA a couple of years ago which was great. They had a display of old crayons and colors and the one that stood out to me was "Prussian Blue" that they discontinued somewhere around about 1914.
• January 14, 2012, Jessica writes: I have collected pencils since 1993 and have 499. No two are alike, and a standard yellow pencil is not allowed. I have some unusual ones, but none like in the pictures you posted!
• January 18, 2012, Laura B. writes: Wow, those carvings are really impressive. Makes me wonder where they come up with all the time! I will miss some of the crayon colors that got retired, but not in the laundry! I was glad when we moved on to Prismacolor pencils. Crayons are just soooo handy to stuff in pockets!

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The owner of this Chinese restaurant has a good sense of humor ... or maybe not....

Speaking of enjoying certain kinds of food in large quantities, this next one's not really a sign, although it could be.

Here's a homemade sign that makes me smile.

Here are several signs for the technically inclined.

Road trips can be enjoyable, especially when there are great signs along the way. Readers saw a unique roadside restroom, complete with a sign, on a trip.

Sometimes little side trips can lead to unexpected destinations.

The candy at this next place must be dynamite.

I've heard that this next sign is common in Scotland.

Road trips with children are often filled with ways to pass the time. This next sign would be great to see on such a trip.

Who needs that sign, though, when you see one like this one located in the Mojave Desert?

Well, that's it for today, dear readers. Thanks to those who helped make this blog post possible. I look forward to the signs I'll be receiving.

quotation...

"Trying to be happy without a sense of God's presence is like trying to have a bright day without the sun." — A.W. Tozer

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

My strange behavior as a child is easily explained — I was training to be an adult.

Comments

• January 4, 2012, Isaac writes: I'm used to seeing all sorts of exotic signs in these posts, and often wonder how many of them are actually real and not photoshopped. Well, today I had a nice surprise when I saw the Zzyzx Road sign -- I live about thirty minutes away from it!
• January 4, 2012, Rob writes: @Isaac - It's good to hear from you. You are right ... the signs that my readers send me are sometimes unbelievable. Photoshop and other image-altering programs make it almost impossible for us to believe our eyes any more. Although I can vouch for some of the signs I've posted since I've seen them myself or know the people who have photographed them, it's nice to hear that you have actually seen the sign you mentioned. As I prepared for the post, I did find another shot of it on Wikipedia ... so we know that it must be legit. ;-) I'd enjoy chatting sometime to hear what you are currently up to. Thanks for leaving a comment.
• January 5, 2012, Bruce writes: I love the random traffic stop picture. I can just hear the officer saying "but maybe we can work something out".
• January 7, 2012, Rachel D. Brown writes: As a former child who played the alphabet game, I loved the hard-to-find letters on that one sign! =P

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