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Global Cooling

Hey, where's "global warming" when we need it?!? My wife and I were talking this morning about how ironic it is that the week after global warming was all over the news, the weather turns bitterly cold. I told her that I think it's the Lord revealing His delightful sense of humor as He reminds us of who *really* controls the climate.

As many of us enjoy our current reprieve from the warming, I thought a little humor on winter weather would be in order.


To tell what the weather is like, put the dog outside. A few minutes later, go to your back door and look for the dog.

If the dog is wet, it's probably raining. If the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.

If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.

If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.

Of course, to be able to tell the weather whenever you want, you should leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect really harsh, life-threatening weather.

The Cat


Random thoughts on winter...

It was so cold last winter that one basketball player was late for practice because he was out trying to jump start the reindeer.

You know winter has truly arrived when you neighbor returns your lawn mower and borrows your snow shovel.

It was really cold out there today - like a refrigerator. I know. I opened the front door and the little light went on.

What can I say? The cold weather you prayed for back in August is finally here.

You know it's cold when the wind chill factor exceeds the speed limit.

You know it's cold when you're combing your hair and it breaks.

You know it's cold when you set a pan of boiling water outside and it freezes so fast the ice is still warm.

Remember, if your car starts to skid on icy streets, turn your steering wheel in the direction of the skid and jump out the windows on the passenger side.

This is the time of the year when people start going to places where they pay $200 a day to experience the same kind of heat they were complaining about in August.

One nice thing about winter weather - it's easy to find a picnic table.

When the highway department has been working all night spreading sand on the streets, it can mean one of two things - either the streets are icy or they are putting in a new beach for next year's tourist season.

It was so cold last night that the candle froze, and we couldn't blow it out.

It was so cold that when we were talking outside that our words froze, and we had to nuke them in the microwave just to see what we were saying to each other.

One nice things about living in the North - it snows only twice during the winter. Once for three months and once for two months.

The North *does* have a great snow removal system. It's called August.


I'm currently in a grading vortex, but other than that, all's well here.


"None of us can bear everyone's burden, but God has placed us where we can help bear someone's burden." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=

How does the person who drives the snowplow get to work?

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7 Comments on “Global Cooling”

  1. #1 huhta
    on Feb 6th, 2007 at 7:51 pm

    Or, where I come from there are only two seasons (three if you count mosquito season) – winter and the fourth of July!

  2. #2 LME
    on Feb 8th, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    Ha ha! I totally agree about the one season!

  3. #3 maineiac
    on Feb 9th, 2007 at 1:04 pm

    That would be “wintah” where I come from, and yes, you have that season, and then a dry spell called July. 🙂

  4. #4 Glenda
    on Feb 12th, 2007 at 12:25 pm

    My dad, who was a road commissioner, parked the snow plow in our back yard, soo—he walks!

  5. #5 Jess
    on Feb 13th, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    Hey! A fellow maineiac! I always heard it was three seasons–wintah, mud season, and the fourth of July.

  6. #6 Karlys
    on Feb 15th, 2007 at 11:20 pm

    Here in Minnesota our saying is there are 2 seasons: 1) winter and 2) road construction!

  7. #7 Meg
    on Feb 20th, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    I agree with the Cat.