- ivman's blague - http://blog.ivman.com -

Happy Christmas Decorating!

picture of Charlie Brown and his Christmas tree

Do you usually go all out with Christmas decorations, or is your decorating as sparse as Charlie Brown's Christmas tree? I ask because our fairly minimal decorating is still fresh in my mind from this past weekend. Our cats are delighted to be able to lie again under the artificial tree. (And they say cats are finicky....)

With the tight economy, some people want to cut back on their Christmas lights. If you have a neighbor who has gone wild with his outdoor decorating, you can save money by decorating in the way the folks in the house on the right did in the picture below.

picture of dittos from the neighbor

As we decorated the tree this weekend, we were frustrated early on. After Christmas last year we bought some strings of lights on sale to replace the string of lights that had died "in action" midseason and that we thought would probably be dead by this year. However we discovered that the new lights had white wires instead of green and stuck out like sore thumbs when we tried them out on the tree. Grr! This necessitated a hasty trip to the store so that decorating could continue. I think we are now done for this year. Phew!

Some counselors claim that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situations in relationships. The other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering together. With that in mind I present the following to you:

What Not to Say when Hanging Lights on the Christmas Tree...

"Hellooo!!! You've got two red lights right next to each other. You're supposed to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red, green, blue...."

"I don't care if you have found two more strings — I'm done!"

"Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try."

"What do you do to these lights when you put them away every year? Tie them in knots?"

"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all! Don't just throw them on, like you do the icicles. Good grief! You're worse than your father."

"Here! Give me that!"

"You've just wound 'em around and around — I thought we agreed it shouldn't look like a spiral this year."

"You've got the whole thing on the tree upside down. The electric plug thingie should be down here at the bottom, not up at the top."

"Looks like we're finally done. Not too shabby, huh? Hey, wait a minute ... where's the cat?"


This past week I received an e-mail that was crying out to be shared ASAP. Here it is:

Well, there is good news and bad news about my Christmas decorations. The good news is that I truly outdid myself this year. The bad news is that I had to take them down after only two days.

I had more people than ever come screaming up to my house. Great stories.

picture of Christmas decorating prank

Two things made me take it all down. First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents since they almost had a wreck when they drove by. Second, a 65-year-old lady grabbed the ladder and almost killed herself putting it against my house. She didn’t realize the "decoration" was fake until she climbed to the top. (She was not happy.) She was one of many people who attempted to do that.

My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard. I think I made him too real this time. But it was fun while it lasted! 😀

I can hardly believe that this week is the last week of classes for the semester. Next week we have final exams, then our Christmas break begins. I'm understanding more and more the metaphor in James 4:14 about our life being a vapor.

I hope some of you have some great decorating (mis)adventures or tips to share with us. Will you be decorating differently this year?


"We are all at crossroads all the time." - Eric Newton

=^..^= =^..^=

Due to financial constraints, the light at the end of the tunnel has been extinguished.