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Here Comes the Groom!

Do you enjoy attending weddings? I'm sure that more women than men would answer yes to that question. I have to admit that in my younger years I didn't relish going to weddings, and Becka often went alone or with one or both of our daughters. Back in the last millennium, during my first term as a deacon at our church, Pastor David Yearick challenged us men to consider our responsibility of going to weddings, particularly those of the young people of our own church. He reminded us that in a day when marriage is taken more and more lightly, we needed to show our young men especially that marriage is just as important to men as it is to women by attending their weddings. I knew that what he was saying was right, and I began attending weddings regularly.

Living in a college town and attending a large church, we receive invitations to many weddings. It's not possible to make it to every wedding we're invited to, but we try to go to as many as we can. I actually enjoy them very much now, getting a little misty-eyed at many. And I almost always see someone I haven't seen in years! This past Friday evening we were invited to two weddings at the same time. We decided to go to the wedding of the young lady we'd known since she was a small child and we were really looking forward to it. However Becka was sick last week, so I went alone. Then the next day, Saturday afternoon, I attended another wedding alone, at another church in town, not only because Becka was still not feeling well, but also because she did not know the bride or the groom at all and I had been planning to attend it alone anyway. Don't I get some kind of purple heart for this? 😀

With all these weddings this summer, I've been meaning to post a piece that I had in my online archives before having to rebuild my website. It's a wonderful parody of something you might read in the society pages, but full of a delightful blend of typical minute detail and untypical sketchiness. I cannot find who wrote this originally. If/when I learn who wrote it, I will happily give proper attribution. On to the post....

Here Comes the Groom

Fed up with the way the bride invariably steals the show at her own wedding, the school at which Rob Tombes works carried in its news weekly its own unbiased account of his recent marriage there to Mary Beth Snyder. It reads as follows:

Mr. Robert Tombes, son of Dr. and Mrs. Averett S. Tombes of Fairfax, VA, became the bridegroom of Miss Mary Elizabeth Snyder today at Fairfax Presbyterian Church.

Mr. Tombes was attended by his brother Thomas Hamilton Tombes as best man. As the groom approached the altar he was the cynosure of all eyes. Blushing handsomely, he replied to the questions of the clergyman in low but firm tones. He was charmingly clad in a 3-piece suit consisting of coat, vest, and pants.

picture of a groom

The coat, of some dark material, was draped handsomely about the shoulders and tastefully gathered under the arms. A touching story was current among the guests that the coat was the one worn by his father and grandfather on their wedding days. Mr. Tombes would neither affirm nor deny the truth of this sentimental touch. The vest was sleeveless and met in the front. It was gracefully fashioned with pockets and at the back was held together by a strap and buckle of the same material.

The groom's pants were of some dark material and were suspended from the waist, falling in a straight line almost to the floor. The severe simplicity of the garment was relieved by the right pantelet which was caught up about four inches from the floor by a Boston Brighton worn underneath, revealing just the artistic glimpse of leather, laced with string of the same color. The effect was rather chic.

Beneath the vest the groom wore blue galluses attached to the pants fore and aft and passing in a graceful curve over each shoulder. His neck was encircled with a collar characterized by a delicate sawedge, and around the collar a cravat was loosely knotted so that it rode up under his left ear with a studied effect of carelessness which marks supreme artistry in dress.

The best man's costume was essentially the same as the groom's, and as the two stood at the altar, a hush of awed admiration enveloped the audience.

As Miss Snyder led the groom from the nuptials, it was noted that she wore the conventional white dress and veil and carried orange blossoms.


I chuckle every time I read that parody and hope you enjoyed it too. Most of the young men I've known would much rather have the attention on their bride than on themselves. In fact, some would rather elope and just skip the big, formal wedding. Come to think of it, while some of the young brides love every minute of "their big day," others I've known would have rather opted for a small, private wedding with much less attention on her.

What do you think of going to weddings, guys and gals? Do you find that the focus right in most of the weddings you attend? Have modern weddings gotten out of hand in their lavishness or in other ways?


We got a copy of So High The Price the latest CD from the Steve Pettit team this past weekend, which coincided with a post about it on My Two Cents, a blog I read. It's a great CD if you're interested in checking it out. The first link in this paragraph allows you to listen to demos of many of the songs on the CD.

I've put a new link in my sidebar to a DVD Dispatches from the Front. I hope you'll check it out. It's produced by Frontline Missions International.

I'll be back at you later this week with some more signs. Readers have sent me some great ones.


"It's reasonable to trust God if you know Him." - Dr. Dan Olinger

=^..^= =^..^=

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, I wonder if Asians throw hamburgers....

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16 Comments on “Here Comes the Groom!”

  1. #1 Brian
    on Jun 15th, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    Love this post. Even though I’m one of those male specimens, I’ve always enjoyed going to weddings. Although I had never heard it put the way Dr. Yearick stated it, he is so right and makes a very good point. Thanks for sharing that! I particularly enjoy a Christian wedding where the focus is truly where it ought to be — on Christ. I have seen a lot of weddings that had aspects of a focus on Christ, but have been especially blessed in the last year to attend 2 weddings, one this summer and one last summer, where I left thinking more about Christ then the bride and groom and was challenged in my own marriage. In both weddings the couple wrote their own vows, which were a sermon in themselves. Praise God there are young people who really strive to keep the focus on Christ.

  2. #2 Carrie
    on Jun 15th, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    I love this! Especially the part about his pantelet being caught in whatever it was. Oh dear.

    I share the sentiment of modern weddings being too lavish etc. When I got married, I got sick to death of all the details I had to furnish. While I would not have wanted to have eloped, I would very much have liked to simplify things. (I think I chose a poor tense in which to write that sentence!) My husband always attends weddings with me — he likes cake! :o)

    .-= Carrie’s last blog post … Balance =-.

  3. #3 Deb
    on Jun 15th, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    Rob ~ thanks for the heads-up on the new Pettit cd. My family has asked what to buy for my b’day approaching. Now I have something to put on my list. I enjoyed listening to the musical blurbs on the website. Thanks!

    .-= Deb’s last blog post … Follow-Up on KIP Day =-.

  4. #4 Rob
    on Jun 15th, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    @Brian – Glad you enjoyed it. I’m happy too to hear that you enjoy going to weddings. It is a wonderful encouragement to the couple and their families as well as a good reminder about your own marriage. As many weddings as I’ve gone too – which is a lot of them! (I could retire on the proceeds if I’d been given a dollar for every wedding I’ve attended) – I still hear some new angle I haven’t heard before on marital bliss.

    @Carrie – I thought you would love the humor in this one. 🙂 There are tons of details, but I guess they all go into making it such a nice occasion. I could tell you some stories of some lulus of weddings we’ve been to … where little attention to detail was obvious to all. I share Steven’s love for wedding cake. I especially love cheesecakes!

    @Deb – Happy to have been of service. You will be majorly blessed by the CD … if the fam comes through, that is. 😉

  5. #5 Zina
    on Jun 16th, 2009 at 6:49 am

    Pastor Yearick is so wise. I really grew in my Christian faith under him. I am so thankful for Hampton Park and him and Pastor Conley.

    I enjoy weddings very much and have not had an opportunity to attend one since we have been in Germany…maybe later.

    Thanks for the post!

  6. #6 Michael
    on Jun 16th, 2009 at 8:03 am

    Well, for the most part I enjoy going to weddings. I’m not a big fan of the ones that take place in the middle of the day because of the inconvenience factor. However, weddings should be important to men for a couple of reasons. If attending the wedding of people in your church, it is important to be there so that you can have a hand in encouraging and admonishing that couple in the future to remain true to the vows they made. And, it’s neat to go to a wedding to be reminded of the vows at your wedding and to be reminded of the duties and responsibilities that we men have in a marriage relationship.

  7. #7 Rob
    on Jun 16th, 2009 at 9:16 am

    @Michael – What can I say? I agree. Especially about the 2:00 p.m. weddings. I get grungy working outside all morning, get all cleaned up, go to the wedding (trying not to grumble), get blessed in spite of myself, come home and get all grungy again as I finish up what I couldn’t because of the midday event.

  8. #8 Roy Hooper
    on Jun 16th, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    I’m weird. I love weddings. I have attended weddings where it was obvious that the money, time, and priority was placed on the reception. These were enjoyable socially but kind of sad b/c the emphasis was all wrong. But then I have been to weddings, especially some recently, that were absolutely fantastic with the music chosen by the couple and with the intentionality and purpose of the message and with the attention to detail and the relaxed deportment of the participants. These weddings are such a blessing and have the added benefit of my wife and me reflecting on our wedding after 20 years and how God is so good at reminding us of our vows to each other during these very special weddings of these young (very young to us) couples.

  9. #9 Dahv
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 9:44 am

    boy that’s quite the spin on tradition! although i don’t think i’d want that much attention!

    .-= Dahv’s last blog post … My first blog post =-.

  10. #10 Rob
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 9:57 am

    @Roy – It’s great, not weird, that you love weddings. So often when I’m at weddings, my mind goes off on a tangent that whoever is speaking inspires. Usually it’s about how blessed I am to have the wife the Lord gave me or ways in which I can strive to be a better husband. We’re always a bit shocked when we hear parents of a wedding couple say, after a particularly lavish wedding/reception, that they now have the wedding to pay off. We decided that we would give our kids a certain amount that we could afford and if they stayed within budget, they could keep whatever was left over. We’d rather them have the money than those in the “wedding industry.”

    @Dahv – You typify what I think would be the wish of most young men – not to want all that attention. BTW, if you get back to this post and see the link at the end of your comment (CommentLuv), it’s rather ironic that “Dahv’s last blog” post is called “My first blog post.” 😀

  11. #11 Vikki
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    Rob, that’s exactly what we did with our kids. We gave them a certain amount to spend on their wedding. Anything above that amount was all theirs to pay and anything not spent was theirs to keep. It worked out well for us.

  12. #12 Dahv
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 12:52 pm


    lol i hadn’t noticed that! it is kind of ironic!

    .-= Dahv’s last blog post … Surgery and aftermath =-.

  13. #13 Rob
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    @Vikki – That’s neat to hear. It’s amazing how frugal we can be when we know we can keep what ever is left over. 🙂

    @Dahv – Wow! You already have a second post up! Hope you are able to throw off the after-effects from your oral surgery quickly and soon. Glad to see you’re reading from your French Bible. {:*) <-- that's a French smiley, complete with beret and moustache.

  14. #14 Dave
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    I’d have to say I’ve been to some weddings that were done tastefully (Although very bias, I think my wife did a great job of making sure the attention wasn’t on her/us at our wedding. It was very God-honoring).

    Maybe my favorite IVMan post yet. Very funny. I have a weakness for parodies.

    .-= Dave’s last blog post …Fun with the Abacus =-.

  15. #15 Rob
    on Jun 18th, 2009 at 6:40 am

    @Dave – Most of the weddings we attend are very well done and with great focus on the Lord. I wish I could have gone to yours. I know it was before the advent of the History Bluff t-shirts, but in my mind’s eye I can imagine all the attendants having on one of your t’s, at least under their finery. 🙂

  16. #16 Rob
    on Dec 16th, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    I heard from the bride from this story. She had come across this post and is amazed that it the story still has a life of its own on the web. I’ll leave details vague, but she told me that it was a reading done at her rehearsal by a family member and somehow it ended up being shared on the Internet, to the astonishment of the couple, still happily married for over 25 years. 😀