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How do you know you are a teacher?

Teacher Patch

Since today is our first day of classes for second semester, I thought I'd post something about teaching. Every one in my immediate family has been in a teaching role or is currently a teacher, and so this list is especially funny to us. I found quite a few versions of this online with minor differences, and some were attributed to Jeff Foxworthy. Even if you're not at teacher, I hope this will bring some smiles or laughs.

How do you know you are a teacher?

You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.

You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.

You walk into a store and hear the words, "It's Ms/Mr.________!" and know you have been spotted.

You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom or Dad at one time or another.

You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.

You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and prep period.

You start saving other people's trash because, most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.

You believe the teachers' lounge should be equipped with a Tylenol machine.

You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3 and have summers off."

You believe chocolate is a food group.

You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!

You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a "good choice or a bad choice."

You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.

You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.

You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.


Teaching on the college level is significantly different, but I'm still able to identify with quite a few of those!


"Our trust can never outrun God's provision." — Chris Barney


Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.