The other day a reader sent me a list of puns I don't remember ever seeing. I found them humorous and thought they might tickle your funny bone too. Those who hate puns may have a bone to pick with me. Make no bones about it, though, some of these will make you laugh or groan out loud.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When chemists die, they barium.
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
Velcro — what a rip off!
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
"We're all adolescents when the door is closed." — Emerson Eggerichs
The Zen master says to the hot dog vendor, "Can you make me one with everything?"
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