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If These Kitchen Walls Could Talk…

Do you have any signs on the walls of your kitchen? I've noticed that many people I know have either funny or thought-provoking signs in their kitchens. Being a lover of funny signs, I especially appreciate the ones that are humorous.

Our kitchen has several signs. The first two are pretty ones that a friend gave us knowing our love of French and France. Here they are.

The other sign is great, and I'm hoping most people read it so quickly that they don't notice the misspelled word.

You may not have spotted the misspelling as a French teacher would ... chauffeur, if you please!

I found pictures of this next one in all kinds of formats when I did a Google image search.

I even found that sign done in a vinyl decal!

Speaking of vinyl decals for kitchens, I especially like this one.

Below is a list of sayings from various kitchen signs.

Kitchen closed — this chick has had it!

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!

I'm creative; you can't expect me to be neat too!

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust!

Ring Bell for Maid Service. If no answer do it yourself!

I clean house every other day. Today is the other day!

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

A clean kitchen is the sign of a misspent life.


I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking, lower your standards.

Apology ... Although you'll find our house a mess, come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

I Kiss Better Than I Cook

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Housework done properly can kill you.

Normal around here is just a setting on the dryer.

Dull women have immaculate houses.

Emergency Numbers:
Pizza - - - - 555-9852
Chinese - - - 555-7768
Deli - - - - - 555-0274
Grandma - - - 555-4761


Do you have a great kitchen sign saying you'd like to include in the comments or do you have a favorite from the ones above?


"If everyone is special, then no one is." — David McCullough Jr. (in his recent commencement address at Wellesley High School)

=^..^= =^..^=

My next house will have no kitchen — just vending machines and a large trash can.