- ivman's blague - http://blog.ivman.com -

It’s Great to Be a Guy!

Some of the following is so true, and some of it, I can only wish it were true. Anyway, enjoy!

It's great to be a guy! Here are over 50 reasons for that assertion....

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

Old friends don't care if you've lost or gained weight

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without even once thinking, "He must be mad at me."

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks. (Wedding dress - $2,000)

You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

You never have to clean the toilet

At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You are free to choose whether to grow a mustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall out on every shot of someone crying.

One mood, all the time.

You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

The garage is all yours.

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

Chocolate is just another snack.

Flowers fix everything.

The remote is yours and yours alone

You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

You don't need to pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.

If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So ... notice anything different?"

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This past Sunday was Chinese New Year's Day. I emailed my students from the past two summers, several teachers, and several personal friends to wish them each a Happy New Year. I've heard back from many of them, but one reply in particular was simply amazing! Here's what Nancy wrote:

Dear Professor Loach,

Thank you for your greetings!

Actually I am celebrating the Chinese New Year in Florida with my parents
now. I have recently published a fantasy novel, SWORDBIRD, and I was on the
Martha Stewart Show just a few days ago.

Happy New Year to you and your family!

Sincerely,
Nancy

P.S. I enjoyed your teachings in Hainan!

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I did some searching and found out that what she told me was all too true! When I taught her in 2005 she was a middle school student in a group of mainly university students, and her English was head and shoulders over theirs! After doing some Google searches and learning more about her background. I learned that when I taught her she was only 11 years old, but she had lived for several years in the USA. Check out Nancy's googlepage [1] to learn more about her and/or her books.

Another thing going on in my life this week is attending the Family Enrichment Conference at our church [2]. Dr. Greg Mazak, a colleague from BJU, is the speaker to us adults. If any of you who are local to the Greenville area would like to attend the remaining evenings (this evening and tomorrow evening - Feb. 20 and 21), you would really profit from what he has to say. Sunday evening, as an opener, he read a list he'd received by email - reasons of why it's great to be a guy. Several people accused me of being his source for that. I really wasn't, but since I had it on file and it's so fresh in mind, I thought I'd share it here on the blog.

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks!