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Kid Speak

The other day, a friend and I were exchanging the latest news on each of our respective first grandchildren. Her granddaughter is talking a little, but not everything is comprehensible. This next week we'll find out what our little guy can say now. He jabbers a lot, but not many understandable words. This friend was telling me about a little boy in her family who was recently at the beach. His mom put a tank top on him so that he didn't get badly sunburned. He'd never worn a tank top before, and his comment was "Shirt broke!"

This got me to thinking about all the cute things our kids said when they were little - things like Megan's being upset about the dirt on her "hand-elbows" (knuckles) or Nora's requesting "a Nora-spoon" - leaving us scratching our heads as to what was wanted. She was trying to tell us she wanted a metal spoon, not plastic, since she could see herself in the metal spoon. When Mark was little, he was obsessed with getting big. One day Becka asked him if he'd like a little milk, to which he indignantly replied, "No, I want BIG milk!" I'm sure your kids have said some great things too. Please post some as comments.

I'd like to post one last thing related to Mother's Day this week. Today's iv is focused on the child's side of the equation. Several of the short quips highlight some cute things children are reported to have said, and several relate some heart-warming things kids have said.


While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, a woman used to take her four-year-old daughter on her afternoon rounds. The child was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers, and wheelchairs. One day the mother found her daughter staring at a set of false teeth soaking in a glass.

As she braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions about the dentures, she was surprised when her daughter merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"


A couple had spent the day moving from their farmhouse into their new house in town. They were too tired to try to meet neighbors on moving day and collapsed into bed late that night.

Very early the next morning, their 3 year old ran into their bedroom to wake them up. The mother dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to let them sleep. About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "everybody has doorbells - and they all work."


Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Mrs. Smith stopped to reprove the child gently. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and stay like that."

Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Mrs. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."


Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing. I just helped him cry."


Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl said, "I know all about adoptions because I was adopted."

"What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child.

"It means," said the girl, "that I grew in my mommy's heart instead of her tummy."


A little 10 year old named Sarah was born with a muscle missing in her foot and must wear a brace all the time. She came home one beautiful spring day to tell that she had competed in her school's "field day." Because of her leg support, her father's mind raced as he tried to think of some encouragement for Sarah - things he could say to her about not letting this get her down. But before he could get a word out, she said, "Daddy, I won two of the races!"

The father couldn't believe it! But before he could say anything, she continued, "I had an advantage."

Ah, ha - he knew it - he thought she must have been given a head start ... some kind of physical advantage. But again, before he could say anything, she said, "Daddy, I didn't get a head start. My advantage was I had to try harder!"


In New York City, on a cold day in December a little boy about 10 years old was standing before a shoe store, barefooted and peering through the window, shivering with cold. A lady approached the boy and said, "My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?"

"I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes," was the boy's reply.

The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her. She took the little guy to the back part of the store, removed her gloves, knelt down, washed his feet, and dried them with a towel. By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. After placing a pair of socks on the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. As they turned to leave the store, she said, "Well, little fellow, are you more comfortable now?"

The astonished lad caught her by the hand, and looking up in her face with tears his eyes, answered her question with another question, "Are you God's wife?"


"To handle yourself well, use your head. To handle others well, use your heart." - Eleanor Roosevelt

=^..^= =^..^=

People who say they sleep like a baby obviously don't have one.

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9 Comments on “Kid Speak”

  1. #1 Marilyn Donnell
    on May 9th, 2008 at 5:57 am

    One son, arguing his case for not taking an afternoon nap said, “I don’t want to get ‘moonburn.'”

    A little girl, wowed by a perfect rose on Dad’s new rosebush said, “It looks so real – I thought it was plastic.”

  2. #2 Katie Sutherland
    on May 9th, 2008 at 7:14 am

    My 3 yr old daughter was very excited to have new sunglasses. She announced to me and my husband, “Daddy, it’s a good thing I have these sunglasses to keep the sun out of my iPods.”

  3. #3 Vikki
    on May 9th, 2008 at 7:28 am

    When our oldest, Crystal, was going on 2 and I was expecting child number two we had a dog, Sadi, who we often called Sadi-Dog. Crystal picked on that and started calling everyone with “dog” after their name. She even had a doll she called Baby-Dog. One day while shopping with Crystal in seat of the cart she started singing, “Momma-Dog, Daddy-Dog, Momma-Dog, Daddy-Dog, …”. To this day, all our kids call us Momma-Dog and Daddy-Dog.

    My daughter has a hard time getting her 4 years old up in the morning before work. Often he mumbles “Five more minutes” which he learned from his dad. However, one morning he must have been really tired because he mumbled “Lots of five more minutes”.

    A friend’s 3 year old son, Adam, always wanted to stop at a certain convenience store. Why we don’t know, because he had never been in the store. One time during his pleading his mother said no because their priced were simply outrageous. Later that day, upon arriving at their intended store, a clerk came up and asked if she could help them. Adam put his hands on his hips and looked at the clerk and blurted out, “Your prices are simply outrageous!” She wanted to crawl into a hole…

    I could go on and on with kids sayings, but I won’t. Does anyone remember the Art Linkletter show with the kids? He was a master at getting kids to say on TV exactly what their parents DIDN’T was said.

    I believe God gave us kids to keep us humble!

  4. #4 Cindy
    on May 9th, 2008 at 7:53 pm

    I had a coworkers whose 3 year old daughter asked for more salad cookies. After a few minutes of tyring to figure out what she was asking for they realized she wanted more croutons in her salad.

  5. #5 Rhonda
    on May 12th, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    My daughter said lots of funny things when she was little, but our favorite was her response to being told to “behave.” She replied, “Mommy, I am being ‘have!” 🙂

  6. #6 Vikki
    on May 12th, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    Not much of response here… So, I’ll add another one. We were visiting my mother one day when my 2-year-old daughter asked Grandma if she had any more puppy crackers – she had found the box of dog biskets and had finished them off and was looking for more.

  7. #7 Cherith
    on May 12th, 2008 at 7:44 pm

    My daughter, who turned 2 at the end of March this year, had this conversation with me during Bible Conference week:

    “Mommy, a chicken!”
    “A Chicken? Where?”
    “Really? Whats his name?”
    “Whats he doing outside?”
    “Talkin’ to Addy.” (thats herself)
    “Where did you meet this chicken?”
    “At Bible Conference!”
    “Whats he doing at Bible Conference?”

  8. #8 Rob
    on May 13th, 2008 at 6:23 am

    Thanks to all of you who commented on this post. I knew there were many good stories out there of hilarious examples of “kid speak.” All the ones given are great! I guess with so many reading the blog posts by e-mail or on blog readers, they don’t get to the actual blog as much to comment – which is a big part of the total fun! Thanks for being among those who commented!

  9. #9 Rebecca
    on May 19th, 2008 at 12:43 pm

    Our 3 year old son’s name for hush puppies (corn bread): “quiet doggies”