- ivman's blague - http://blog.ivman.com -

Love and Marriage

With Valentine's Day coming up next week, I thought I'd post some humor on love and marriage. Many people do little or nothing special on Valentine's Day, for one reason or another. But for others it's a neat time to remind others of their love for them.

I'll start this post off with a personal story. When I was a high school French student, my French Grandma Loach worked out a penpal situation for me with grandchildren of several of her family members in France. My penpals were cousins of mine who were high schoolers studying English. We not only enjoyed getting to know each other by letter, but we also delighted in sharing aspects of the culture of our respective countries with each other.

With Valentine's Day coming up, I bought cards with a message something like "Be My Valentine, Cousin" and mailed them. They wrote back, politely thanking me. However in her reply, my cousin Annie expressed bewilderment, explaining that in France, Valentine cards are exchanged only by sweethearts or spouses. She included a French Valentine card for me to see. She wondered how in the world I found a card for a cousin! I had to write back and tell her that holidays are so commercialized here in the US that you could probably find a card made especially for your cousin's dog's veterinarian.

Believe it or not, I still have that card she sent me over 35 years ago! Here's a scan of the front of that French Valentine card:

Knowing the reputation of the French for romance and knowing that Valentine cards are exchanged only by lovers, I was a little nervous about opening the card, wondering what steamy message I might find inside. Since this is a family-friendly blog, I almost blush to show you what I found. However if you have the courage to continue reading (caveat lector), here's a scan of the message inside the card:

For those who don't read French, Vive Saint-Valentin = "Long live St. Valentine!" No one can say it romantically quite like the French, huh? 😉

If you're still with me (somehow I just knew you'd read on!), I hope you've recovered sufficiently to continue and enjoy the rest of the humor....

During a conference, a young woman was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. They flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave their speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, the young man drew a number sign # on his paper napkin. She excitedly wrote down her phone number and passed it back.

Looking startled for a moment, he flipped the napkin over and drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper left-hand corner.


A young pastor's sister was getting married. She wanted a small, casual wedding and asked him to officiate.

Since he had never performed a marriage ceremony before, he asked an older pastor for advice.

"My sister has asked me to marry her," he said, "and I'm not sure what to do."

The experienced pastor replied, "Try telling her you just want to be friends."


A couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. An interviewer asked, "Could you please share the secret to a long marriage?"

The husband answered, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or weaknesses. Always bear in mind that it is because of her shortcomings and weaknesses that she could not find a better husband than you."


The child was a typical four-year-old girl — cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out the wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.

One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.

"Now do you understand?" he asked.

"I think so," she said. "Is that when mommy came to work for us?"


The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. But that really didn't bother her much until one evening when her husband called from down the hall, somewhat dismayed, "Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written in it."


With the current economic constraints, some of you may be looking for lower cost options for doing something special. Nothing says I love you like a meal at a favorite restaurant.

Here's another culinary suggestion for Valentine's Day.

If all goes according to plan, our granddaughter will be born by C-section on Valentines Day. We would all appreciate your prayers for a safe, uncomplicated delivery for Megan and baby. If you weren't reading my blog back in 2007, you can read about the birth of our grandson Drew [1] six and a half weeks before his due date.


"Don't love stuff and use people. Love people and use stuff." – Eric Newton

=^..^= =^..^=

No matter how serious life gets, it's great if you have one person you can be completely stupid with.