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Love Me, Love My Dog

This is kind of an interesting twist on men vs. women. I want to make it clear that I didn't write *any* of these things. I'm just proficient at "tidying up" things that others have sent me. I'm posting this one with a bit of fear and trembling since it's more than just a little non-PC. I had my wife read it first, just to be sure that I've deleted all the very "meanest" things. Enjoy!

How dogs and men are alike...

Both keep moving, even when they are lost.

Both take up too much space on the bed.

Both have irrational fears about the vacuum cleaner.

Both are threatened by their own kind.

Both are color blind.

Neither understands what you see in cats.

Both want dominance.

The larger ones tend to drool.

The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

Both do the dishes by licking them clean.

Both chase cars.

How dogs are better than men...

Dogs don't have problems expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when you are gone.

You can train a dog.

Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

When dogs play "fetch", they don't laugh at how you throw.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

Dogs understand it when some of their friends aren't allowed to come inside.

Dogs don't care if you're not beautiful.

Dogs will not criticize you if the dinner is not perfect.

A dog will not blame you for not remembering something he never told you.

If you put on a little weight, dogs will like you just as well.

Dogs don't care if you get old.

Dogs are not always bragging about how macho they are.

How dogs and women are alike...

Both can eat five pounds of chocolate in one sitting.

Neither understand football.

Both are good at pretending to listen to every word you say.

Neither believe that silence is golden.

Neither can balance a checkbook.

You can never tell what either of them is thinking.

How dogs are better than women...

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Dogs think your singing is great.

A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late - the later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

Dogs don't shop.

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

Dogs never need to examine a relationship.

A dog's parents never visit.

Dogs love long car trips.

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

Dogs don't hate their bodies.

Dogs don't cry.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

Dogs never expect gifts.

Dogs don't worry about germs.

Dogs would rather have hamburger than lobster for dinner.

You never have to wait for a dog; they are ready to go out 24 hours a day.

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.


Several have asked about the pictures at the top of the blog. The panorama is of Paris. Most of them feature the Eiffel Tower.

If you're browsing with Firefox, the RSS feed for the blog is in the address bar at the top. Otherwise, please add the blog to your favorites.

The past couple of days it's been interesting to read email reactions to my decision to share my iv's online only. The comments have been a mix of what I thought they'd be - "WAAAAAAAAA! Now I have to remember to do something other than click on an email! Bummer!" "I was surprised you hadn't done this sooner!" "I'm sad, but I completely understand." "Cool! I like RSS feeds and blogs better than email anyway!"

The funniest I received was, "So Mr. Loach, you're both retro and hip! Retro enough to use Windows 98 at home, hip enough to use Thunderbird and have an RSS feed! :)"

I realize that possibly fewer people will end up reading my iv's and updates, but this really is going to simplify my life - I won't be doing anything extra since I was already posting the iv's on the blog and in the archives. I just won't have to deal with all the email hassle, which was *huge*!

I thank those of you who understand, and especially to those who are reading this right now! You have braved technology to get here!

Hope everyone had a great Bonza Bottler Day yesterday!


With Super Bowl XLI in mind ... "Football combines the two worst features of American life - violence and committee meetings." - George Will

=^..^= =^..^=

Lord, make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

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9 Comments on “Love Me, Love My Dog”

  1. #1 Jonesie
    on Feb 4th, 2007 at 8:37 pm

    There are some girls out there who DO understand football and enjoy watching it. Monday night football was a tradition in my home growing up.

  2. #2 LSE
    on Feb 5th, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    Hmmph! Women can TOO balance a checkbook. I’ve been doing it for 29+ years. My husband’s method was to see if any checks were in the envelope (in the old days they used to send your checks back to you)! I found $600+ dollars when we first got married simply because he NEVER could balance his checkbook! So there, Rob Loach! Oh, btw, I reeeeally like ivman! It makes me laugh when I’ve been overloaded with boring homework.

  3. #3 Carrie
    on Feb 5th, 2007 at 9:18 pm

    Ha!!! Although none of these apply to me, you know, they are very funny. :o)

  4. #4 LME
    on Feb 6th, 2007 at 8:18 am

    Hmph…. I have NEVER eaten five pounds of chocolate!!!! (I would get sick if I ate more than 3 pieces) 🙂 This one was funny!Thanks so much for posting all of these.

  5. #5 Steve
    on Feb 6th, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    Could you do one on “love me, love my lawyer?”

  6. #6 Rob
    on Feb 6th, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    Steve, is such a thing possible? Just kidding! You’re a lawyer that we love – you’re no longer practicing, right? 🙂


  7. #7 Shiro
    on Feb 18th, 2007 at 2:38 pm

    I don’t think the women comparison is accurate. Dogs are deathly allergic to chocolate. Two of my friends are football fans (Colts’s ones to boot). And, don’t men often only pretend to listen?

    I cannot argue about the dogs being better than women part though.

    Merci, Mr. Loach! I always enjoy reading these!

  8. #8 KJH
    on Feb 23rd, 2007 at 5:51 pm

    I’m a woman and i can balance a checkbook, explain football to my mother and rarely does anyone wonder what i’m thinking! 🙂

  9. #9 Bob
    on Mar 5th, 2007 at 11:04 pm

    YEAH COLTS! Okay, I’m reading this a little late, but I’m a girl and my dad has been a football coach for over 12 years. I love the sport and can definitely understand what is going on! And I’m a Hoosier and a die-hard COLTS fan!

    This was really hilarious, though, Mr. Loach…too funny! Thanks for doing this, it totally brightens my week!