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New Year’s Resolutions You Can Keep

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I thought I'd post some ideas to help you to get a jump on those New Year's resolutions for 2009 or at least make you happier that you don't make any anyway.

Are you sick and tired of making resolutions year after year, resolutions that you never keep? Like this person's resolutions for the past 4 years....

2005: I will work out every day.
2006: I will work out 5 days a week.
2007: I will work out 3 days a week.
2008: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you might be able to keep.

New Year's resolutions you can keep

Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.

Don't exercise. Waste your time in some other way.

Read less. Reading makes you think.

Watch more TV. You don't want to miss the one good thing that comes along.

Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.

Take a vacation to someplace important, like to see the world's largest ball of twine.

Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.

Don't have octuplets.

Get in a whole NEW rut!

Don't buy an '83 Eldorado with a really loud stereo system, tinted windows, and fur on the dashboard.

Speak in a monotone voice and use only monosyllabic words.

Wear only jeans that are 2 sizes too small, and use a chain or rope for a belt.

Don't eat cloned meat.

Create loose ends.

Get more toys.

Get further in debt.

Don't believe politicians.

Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.

Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.

Associate with even worse business clients.

Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them.

Wait for opportunity to knock.

Focus on the faults of others.

Mope about your own faults.

Never make New Year's resolutions again.


You'll have to check out the "facelift" I've given the blog.


"If no one is able to govern himself, then who among us has the capacity to govern someone else?" - Ronald Reagan

=^..^= =^..^=

Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean

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14 Comments on “New Year’s Resolutions You Can Keep”

  1. #1 Kathy Sorensen
    on Dec 29th, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    What is a T1? If I don’t know what it is, I can’t keep the resolution!

  2. #2 Susan
    on Dec 29th, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    Oh, I needed this good laugh!! Thanks so much Rob. I’ve enjoyed every IV you’ve posted.

    Blessings to you and your family in 2009!!!

  3. #3 Rob
    on Dec 30th, 2008 at 7:45 am

    @Kathy Sorensen – I know basically that a T1 line is a high-speed Internet connection, but here’s a nice, concise explanation I found online – “A T1 line is a fiber optic line that can carry roughly 60 times more data than a normal residential modem.” I know that the Internet at the university is blindingly faster than our DSL at home (especially at the times when our “DSL” is barely faster than dial-up!). Hope that explanation helps. Do you work where you have high-speed Internet?

    @Susan – I’m glad you enjoyed the post. May the new year 2009 bring great joy to you and yours as the Lord blesses us beyond what we deserve! May He sustain us through what could be some very interesting times!

  4. #4 Kathy Sorensen
    on Dec 30th, 2008 at 8:03 am

    Well, now that I know what a “T1” is, I wish I were still working! But I retired about 11 years ago from a secretarial job. I have a daughter-in-law who works at UW Parkside here in Kenosha, though. No wonder she insists on Roadrunner or whatever for their home computer! I’m still living in the stone age with dial-up. And I always will be. My computer is now my toy, not a work necessity. But at least I don’t have to say “huh?” when “T1” comes up in my grandkids’ conversations!

    Hey, keep the fun stuff coming from Becka. I’ve enjoyed her blog posts. Tell her I plan on using the bread bowl recipe soon.

  5. #5 pelf
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 8:18 am

    I want to gain weight but I can never do it! ARGH!

    Anyway, Rob, I wish you a happy and productive 2009! 😀

  6. #6 Rob
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 8:25 am

    @Kathy Sorensen – I’ve passed your comment on to Becka. We may see her own blog very soon….

    @pelf – Good to hear from you again. I wish I had your problem. You may find that as time goes along, you will have no trouble gaining weight … in fact, for many people that problem reverses itself to the point that you have to struggle from gaining weight. That happened to me at about age 7! My whole life has been a battle to keep those excess pounds from appearing and reappearing. Enjoy your current situation! I wish you much happiness in the new year 2009!

  7. #7 Ann
    on Jan 1st, 2009 at 7:37 am

    I read your list off the link from Barbara’s website. Care if I use a version of it as a New Year’s bulletin board in my classroom? Thanks much.

  8. #8 Rob
    on Jan 1st, 2009 at 8:34 am

    @Ann – Glad you enjoyed the list enough to want to share it. You may use it and modify it with my blessings.

  9. #9 Jewel
    on Jan 1st, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    Hi Rob! I discovered your blog from Barbara’s at Stray Thoughts. Now these are some resolutions I think I might be able keep! LOL Great list!!

  10. #10 Janet
    on Jan 1st, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    From your quote it looks like you may have ADOS: Attention Deficit … “Oh Shiny!”

  11. #11 Rob
    on Jan 2nd, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    @Jewel – I’m glad you found your way here and will come back often. Enjoy keeping as many of those resolutions as possible! 🙂

    @Janet – I laughed out loud! ADOS, indeed! 😀

  12. #12 Michael
    on Jan 4th, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    Here’s one:

    “Continue to faithfully read IV Man.”

  13. #13 Rob
    on Jan 4th, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    @Michael – I hope that that is indeed a resolution you will keep. I look forward to your comments! Happy New Year!


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