I thought I'd post some ideas to help you to get a jump on those New Year's resolutions for 2009 or at least make you happier that you don't make any anyway.
Are you sick and tired of making resolutions year after year, resolutions that you never keep? Like this person's resolutions for the past 4 years....
2005: I will work out every day.
2006: I will work out 5 days a week.
2007: I will work out 3 days a week.
2008: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you might be able to keep.
New Year's resolutions you can keep
Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
Don't exercise. Waste your time in some other way.
Read less. Reading makes you think.
Watch more TV. You don't want to miss the one good thing that comes along.
Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
Take a vacation to someplace important, like to see the world's largest ball of twine.
Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
Don't have octuplets.
Get in a whole NEW rut!
Don't buy an '83 Eldorado with a really loud stereo system, tinted windows, and fur on the dashboard.
Speak in a monotone voice and use only monosyllabic words.
Wear only jeans that are 2 sizes too small, and use a chain or rope for a belt.
Don't eat cloned meat.
Create loose ends.
Get more toys.
Get further in debt.
Don't believe politicians.
Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.
Associate with even worse business clients.
Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them.
Wait for opportunity to knock.
Focus on the faults of others.
Mope about your own faults.
Never make New Year's resolutions again.
You'll have to check out the "facelift" I've given the blog.
"If no one is able to govern himself, then who among us has the capacity to govern someone else?" - Ronald Reagan
Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean