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Oxymorons


In the hall the other day, a former student of mine who is now in grad school said he wanted to show me something funny. For one of his courses one of the textbooks is a book about aesthetics. The strange thing is - it's one of the ugliest books! Hmm... ugly aesthetics?! See below...

picture of ugly aesthetics?

The whole thing seemed rather oxymoronic to me! At that moment I decided to share a list of oxymorons with you. (As Rush Limbaugh would begin an explanation - "for those of you from Rio Linda...") an oxymoron is a combination of incongruous or contradictory terms. Some of them are very commonly used, and we don't even think about what a strange combination of words they actually are until we consider them more carefully.

From all the lists I've seen, here are the best of them.

act naturally
advanced BASIC
almost exactly
alone together
assistant supervisor
authentic reproduction
awful good
cardinal sin
Christian rock music
civil war
clearly misunderstood
common sense
congressional ethics
conservative democrat
constant changes
criminal justice (sadly, it has just about come to that...)
cruel kindness
deafening silence
death benefits
decaf espresso
definite maybe
deliberately speeding
diet ice cream
disgustingly beautiful
dressy casual
dry lake
elevated subway
epic mini-series
exact estimate
express mail
extinct life forms
extremely normal
fairly swarthy
first final
forward lateral
found missing
free slaves
freezer burn
fresh frozen
friendly fire
full-time day care
future history
genuine imitation
genuine phony
good grief
government efficiency
government organization
guest host
half full
high negatives
highly depressed
holy terror
holy war
ill health
Internal Revenue Service
intimate strangers
jumbo shrimp
justifiably paranoid
limited lifetime warranty
living dead
live recording
loose tights
loyal opposition
management skills
mandatory options
mercy killing
Microsoft Works
military intelligence
mutual differences
new classic
new retreads
nightly specials
non dairy creamer
open secret
original print
out at home
pagan believers
partial cease-fire
passive aggression
peace force
plastic glasses
political science
postal worker
pretty ugly
pure evil
pure meanness
purely carnal
rap music
raving beauty
real tinsel
resident alien
rolling stop
same difference
sanitary landfill
Senate ethics committee
silent scream
small crowd
soft rock
sports scholarship
standard options
student teacher
sweet sorrow
synthetic natural gas
temporary tax increase
terribly pleased
tight slacks
transparent cover-up
true replica
truly lying
uninvited guest
wicked good (a Yankee expression)
wireless cable
working vacation

divider

personal update...

Wow, how do I succinctly sum up the past day and a half? I'll give it my best.... Nora and I left at about 5:30 Wednesday evening to drive all night to get to Detroit early Thursday morning. The traffic was blissfully light. It started to rain hard when we were between Cincinnati and Dayton, then almost immediately as we got into Michigan it was a rain/snow mix and finally all snow. We were exhausted, but arrived safe and sound at 4:45 Thursday morning and immediately hit the hay.

At about 7:30 Megan woke Becka and me up. She was having pains in her chest and her blood pressure was high again. This was scary since these were the problems that put her close to death last week and caused the emergency C-section. She had already called the doctor's office and was awaiting a call back when she woke us. When the call back came, they said she should go to the emergency room and have them do tests to determine what was causing the difficulties. Jim came home from work and took her right away to the ER. While we waited for word from them, Nora and I got a little more sleep after our long drive. At lunch time, there was still no word, so we decided to go to the hospital to wait with them. They determined that Megan was dehydrated and that her BP was indeed high. She was on an iv all day, and they did a battery of tests, including a CT scan, trying to rule out things like blood clots in her lungs since her surgery last week. For Meg and Jim it was a frustratingly long day (over 12 hours) of waiting and being put off by their rude nurse. At the end of the day, at least she was re-hydrated and her blood pressure was lower, but there was nothing conclusive discovered and she was released to come home. She was already scheduled for a check up this morning at her doctor's, so we all hope she'll find out more there later this morning. Please pray for her - and for us all. Thanks!

Spending much of the day in the ER and ER waiting room was not without its interesting features for me - I seem to be able to find the humorous in almost any situation - and we were reminded that we were in a big city. As we were gathering up out personal effects after going through security (yes, security - just like in the airport!) on the way into the ER wing, a man and woman stumbled in the door. She told the man in security, "Someone tried to rob him and stabbed him in the back!" Sure enough, the back of his yellow plaid shirt was quite bloody. They didn't even make him go through security! I told Becka that's what we should have done! There was also a homeless woman in the lobby who was trying to move in and gave those of there hours of interesting diversion. I'm very thankful that I've been able to come back up here for these couple of days before Bible Conference begins on campus rather than having to hear about all this from long distance.

Becka, Nora, and I were able at least to go up to visit Drew several times during the day yesterday. He's making such good improvement and is such a little cutie! Here are a few pictures from the past couple of days between my time here last weekend and now. I'll try to have a few more Sony-moments while we're still up here.

Drew under the lights for jaundice...

picture of Drew under the lights

Jim changing Drew's diaper...

picture of Daddy changing Drew's diaper

Megan giving Drew a bottle...

picture of Megan feeds Drew his bottle

Since she was released from the hospital earlier this week, Megan now expresses and saves her milk, and they take it to the hospital for Drew. He knows how to suck her milk out of the bottle, but he doesn't know how to swallow yet. Therefore he still has a feeding tube down his nose. But he no longer has the iv or the oxygen, so he's making great strides and he should soon get the hang of the breathing/swallowing coordination.

added after Megan returned from her check up...

The doctor says her incision looks good. He was not happy about some of the things that happened to Megan yesterday in the ER. She'll be on blood pressure medicine for a while and will see her doctor again next week. She's feeling much better today, especially after her check up.

quotation...

"When you can't see your way clear, obey your way clear." - Matt Olson

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Does freedom of the press means no-iron clothes?


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4 Comments on “Oxymorons”

  1. #1 David McGuire
    on Mar 16th, 2007 at 9:54 am

    Thanks for the updates on your Michigan family. We’ll be praying for you and yours.

    As for oxymorons how about:

    airline food
    freshman mind

  2. #2 Tony
    on Mar 16th, 2007 at 11:47 am

    In one of our local stores here, I saw a rack of jewelry with the brand name “Eternity Ltd.”

  3. #3 kaliajer
    on Mar 16th, 2007 at 11:26 pm

    I *love* the sunglasses on your grandson. How cool is that? Prayers, joy, and best wishes to all!

  4. #4 David
    on Mar 17th, 2007 at 8:21 am

    Drew is precious, as all baby Drews are. Cindy and I are thrilled that he continues to do well. We’re praying for Megan and the rest of you.

    Rob adds:
    Thanks, David. We’re looking forward to meeting your Drew soon and to your meeting our Drew at the time of Mark and Katie’s wedding. Thank you especially for your prayers. See you soon.


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