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Pop Science Theories

Since this is the fiftieth anniversary of the launching of Sputnik 1, I thought I'd post something scientific ... well, maybe at least as scientific as some of what calls itself science.

A magazine held a competition, inviting its readers to submit new scientific theories on any subject. Below are the top five winners:

5th place (Subject: Probability Theory) If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare in Braille.

4th place (Subject: Bio-Mechanics) Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your head unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it out.

3rd place (Subject: Symbolic Logic) The Chinese are technologically underdeveloped because each of their writing characters represents a whole word or phrase, rather than a single letter. Thus they cannot use acronyms to communicate technical ideas at a faster rate.

2nd place (Subject: Newtonian Mechanics) Deforestation will eventually cause earthquakes, tidal waves or even the total destruction of our planet. Just as a figure-skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting down of tall trees may cause the earth to spin dangerously fast on its axis with disastrous results.

Winner (Subject: Perpetual Motion) When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

A reader mentioned to me that there's an article on Wikipedia similar to the winning theory. Below is the picture from that article.

Several (dis?)honorable mentions...

Honorable Mention (Subject: Earth Science) Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they are landing at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.

Honorable Mention (Auto Mechanics) The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is that it's easier to go faster when you're always going downhill. Besides, they get better gas mileage that way.

Honorable Mention (Subject: Linguistics) The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks his cah," the lost R's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl" wells.


In my last post I promised to include a few pictures. Here's one of Uncle Mark and Drew...

Saturday afternoon some of us went up to North Carolina to get some apples at our favorite place - Lyda. They had some fall decor sitting around, just begging for photo ops. Here's a nice picture of Meg and Drew...

Then here's one of our little punkin all by himself...


"Courage is not needed if all things are easy and smooth." - Dr. Drew Conley

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Why are aliens from outer space always portrayed as evil? How do we know that there's not some alien out there who's just waiting to share the recipe for "The Universe's Best Waffle Mix?"

Weights and Colors

We had such nice family times while our daughter Megan and grandson Drew were here. Our only regret was that our son-in-law Jim wasn't able to be here too. I know he's happy to have them back home with him now, and I have thanked him for the nice birthday present he gave me of a few days with Meg and Drew. I'll post some pictures later this week. My birthday this year was one of my nicest in my recollection. It was wonderful to spend two evenings together with all three of our kids! That's one of those things you just take for granted when your kids are all living at home as they grow up. You younger couples reading this, enjoy all those family times with your children. The day gets here all too quickly that they're grown up and schedules and distances prevent frequent get-togethers.

Well, the first month of the Wellness Challenge is histoire. It will be interesting to see the results of the various teams' collective efforts. I've received a couple of e-mails lately about the challenge that I thought would make a good iv. One e-mail had pictures of Celebrity Scales that got me to doing a web search. In the process, I found something that I thought was even funnier - animal scales. A second e-mail from the captain of the team my wife and I are on was too good not to pass on to my readers.

No weigh!

We'd probably get a bit miffed if people told us we weighed as much as a pig. But they might actually be correct if we were using the "Animal Scales" pictured below. Step onto the animal scales and compare your weight to that of animals such as a goat, bison, duck, etc. I'm a panda hoping to get down to a Thompson's gazelle.

Here's a picture of the scales...

Here's a close-up of the "weight window"...

Color in your diet is GOOD!

Maxine's story...

"Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot. My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said just think in colors. Fill your plate with bright colors... greens, yellows, reds, etc. I went right home and ate an entire bowl of those colors and more..."

"And sure enough, I felt better immediately."

"I never knew eating right could be so easy."


"The day that you get saved, you're in the ministry. ... God is always preparing and developing you to serve Him." - Dr. Matt Olson

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Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but he can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate.

Joys of Aging

One of the true joys of aging is seeing your children become responsible adults. Another joy is grandchildren. Our daughter Megan and grandson Drew arrived at 2:30 this morning. It was sheer bliss to see Drew's face light up when he saw Grandma and Grandpa. Our first guess as to why was that he remembered us from all our bonding this summer. Our second guess was that we looked pretty funny at that time of the night. Our third guess was that he is simply a gregarious little guy who smiles at just about anyone. Megan confirmed that our third guess was correct. Sigh! We're doing our best to make ourselves memorable during this all-too-short three day visit. We've learned that having grandkids is one of the true joys of aging!

Here are a few pictures from the day today.

Here's a picture of Megan and Drew...

We got to see first hand how much Drew is enjoying baby food - here rice cereal and sweet potatoes...

Grandma loves holding her little guy again...

And Grandma and Grandpa can't give our little guy enough hugs and kisses...

Aunt Nora is really good at getting Drew to laugh...

Grandpa does his fair share of causing smiles and laughter...

This afternoon Drew and I enjoyed a little nap after our short night's sleep and our busy day...

This weekend my odometer flips another number. As my family plans a little birthday celebration for me, I get to choose from some games appropriate for folks my age.

Game choices for my birthday bash this weekend:

1. Sag - You're It!
2. Hide and Go Sleep
3. Hide and Go Seek Your Own Easter Eggs (a variation on the previous game)
4. 20 Questions Shouted into Your Good Ear
5. Kick the Bucket
6. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse says Bend Over
7. Spin the Bottle of Liniment
8. Musical Recliners
9. Simon Says Something Incoherent
10. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy


"God does not view being 'laid back' in the Christian life as a virtue." - Dr. Ken Casillas

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My dream: to die young at a very old age.

Beauty and Symmetry

Today was the first day of autumn, though the temps in the low 90s here said otherwise. I was thinking about God's creation and its wonderful orderliness, of which the changing of seasons is just one example. I received several things lately that went along with my pondering of the order and the beauty of the creation.

First, here are some of the pictures from an e-mail called "When God paints"

Part of the beauty in what God created is not just the colors He chose, but also the symmetry and design, as seen in the two pictures below...

God's universe is mathematical. Though students may beg to differ, I must say that math has a beauty all its own, as you'll see from the contents of an e-mail I received recently.

Examples of the beauty of math...

1 x 8 + 1 = 9

12 x 8 + 2 = 98

123 x 8 + 3 = 987

1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876

12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765

123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654

1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543

12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432

123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11

12 x 9 + 3 = 111

123 x 9 + 4 = 1111

1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111

12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111

123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111

1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111

12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111

123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88

98 x 9 + 6 = 888

987 x 9 + 5 = 8888

9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888

98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888

987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888

9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888

98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

And look at this symmetry...

1 x 1 = 1

11 x 11 = 121

111 x 111 = 12321

1111 x 1111 = 1234321

11111 x 11111 = 123454321

111111 x 111111 = 12345654321

1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321

11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321

111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

Brilliant and amazing in its beautiful symmetry, isn't it?! And it's not just a happy coincidence!


"Let the Word of God say what it says." - Dr. Drew Conley

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Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.

Drew’s Brown Hat

ivman update...

Bear with me, folks - I'm trying to see what all the new e-mail notification system can do. From last night's blog post, it appears that the new system (the system that no one is automatically signed up for, even if they were receiving the e-mail notifications before) delivers not just a message saying that I've posted to the blog, but the actual, entire blog post. Some won't like that it's in html, but that's the only option - I guess since it's web based. What's nice is that subscribers can click on the title of the blog post to read the post online. Someone also wrote to say that the size of the font was quite small. I think I found the place to tweak that in FeedBurner, and I'll see if it worked when I get the e-mail version of this.

Since the real blog post for today didn't contain a picture, I'm posting this short entry to see how it comes through. I can't think of pictures I enjoy posting more than those of our grandson Drew, who, BTW, will be here one week from right now. Yippee!

BTW, for those who get the e-mails and click on the title to read the post online instead, you can always get back to the main page of the blog by clicking on the "Home" tab right under the picture at the top - kind of like clicking one's ruby slippers, I guess. Wherever you are on the blog, you can get back to the main page by clicking on the Home tab.

I will probably update this post once I see how things come through. No notification e-mail will be sent to say that I've edited, as happens with some online blog-readers.

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One who lacks courage to start has already finished.