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Ever Heard of Sniglets?


Sniglets

Back in the 1980's a comedian named Rich Hall regularly featured what he called sniglets as part of his routine. He said a sniglet is "any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should." He created some of his own and solicited more from his fans. These he assembled into books that are still available on amazon.com

There was even a Sniglets game put out by Milton Bradley which is still available on both Amazon and eBay:

Sniglets Game

I have none of the books, but I've had a collection of sniglets in my files for over a decade. Here are the ones I have:

Accordionated - adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Aeroma - n. The odor emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics workout.

Aquadextrous - adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

Arachnidiot - n. A person, who, having wandered into an "invisible" spider web, begins gyrating and flailing about wildly.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Begathon - n. A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials.

Bovilexia - n. The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!" every time you pass a cow.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Burgacide - n. What you call the desperate action of a hamburger leaping to its death through the holes in the Bar-B-Q grill.

Carperpetuation - n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Charp (charp) - n. The green, mutant potato chip found in every bag.

Combiloops - n. The two or three unsuccessful passes before finally opening a combination locker.

Crummox (noun): The amount of cereal leftover in the box that is too little to eat and too much to throw away

Darf - n. The least attractive side of a Christmas tree that ends up facing the wall.

Deodorend - n. The last 1/2 inch of stick deodorant that won't turn up out of the tube, and thus cannot be used without inducing lacerations.

Doork - n. A person who always pushes on a door marked "pull" or vice versa.
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Highbrow Humor


Eggs Over Easily

This past week a former student of mine who reads my blog sent me three text messages in fairly rapid succession. They each made me laugh out loud. The humor was definitely quite sophisticated, and I decided to round up some very short, yet very high-powered bits of humor. Don't feel bad if you don't get some of them ... I don't either.

The first three are the ones my friend sent me — the ones that got this blog post rolling.

People often accuse me of "stealing other people's jokes" and being a "plagiarist." Their words, not mine.

Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

I hate explaining puns to kleptomaniacs. They take things literally.

(Thanks JA for inspiring this post!)

Never trust atoms. They make up everything!

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized.

I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.

There are two types of people in the world — those who crave closure

There are two types of people in the world — those who can extrapolate from incomplete data sets

There are only 10 kinds of people — those who understand binary and those who don't.

There are two rules for ultimate success in life — 1. Never tell everything you know.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

That woman is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
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Reading


I Love Reading

Are you a person who enjoys reading? Our grandson Drew is a first grader who is becoming not only a good reader, but also one who enjoys reading. Our grandson Ryan who is not yet 3 years old is already learning to read! These boys definitely come from a long line of people who enjoy reading.

Below is a recent video clip of our grandson Ryan sounding out words as he learns to read. If you are reading the e-mail or blog post reader version of this, you will have to go to this post to view the flash video.

Amazing, huh?!

A Pew Research poll from two years ago reported the following reasons people gave for reading a book in the previous year:
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Yearbook Yourself


Do you ever look through old high school or college yearbooks and laugh at the hairstyles, glasss, or clothing? If you'd like to have a little fun with images, there's a website you need to explore — Jostens' Yearbook Yourself. You upload a picture of yourself, move it and resize it to fit in a little circle, choose male portrait or female portrait, and then select years across the bottom of the screen. You can see what you would have looked like in yearbooks every two years from 1950 to 2000. (WARNING: You may want to mute your computer since the site has loud, annoying music in the background.)

Here's what Becka would have looked like with the hairstyles and clothing of the various decades. (And yes, I am doing this with her blessing....) 🙂

Becka1952

Becka1964

Becka1974
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Old Jokes


anti-aging cream

Do any of you jokesters ever hear the complaint that you tell the same old jokes all the time? Sometimes it may be because the jokester is getting a little older. Other times it may be because the joke perfectly fits the situation. And still other times, it may just be because the joke happens to be among the jokester's favorites.

Somehow it seems like the perfect time for today's blog post to be a compilation of some of my favorite jokes about old age. And yes, some of them are ones I have already posted on my blog ... although several were posted over 5 years ago. I guess if my readers remember the jokes from that long ago, they must be worth retelling.

On to some old jokes about old folks....

On their way to their vacation destination, an elderly couple stopped at a service station. The attendant came out and said, "Hi! Fill it up?" to which the old man replied, "Yes, please."

His wife asked, "What did he say?" and her husband yelled, "HE ASKED IF WE WANTED HIM TO FILL IT UP."

To pass the time during the fill up, the friendly attendant asked, "Where ya goin'?" to which the husband replied, "We're going to spend our vacation at Hilton Head, in our son's condo."

His wife asked, "What did he say?" and her husband yelled, "HE ASKED WHERE WE WERE GOING. I TOLD HIM TO HILTON HEAD."

The attendant then said, "You're in luck - the weather there is supposed to be perfect for the next two weeks.

His wife asked, "What did he say?" and her husband yelled, "HE SAID THE WEATHER WILL BE NICE."

The attendant then asked the man, "Where do you live when you're not on vacation?" to which the husband replied, "We live in Richmond, VA." The attendant said with surprise, "I know a woman from Richmond. She talks non-stop and drives her husband crazy!"

His wife asked, "What did he say?" and her husband yelled, "HE SAYS HE THINKS HE'S MET YOU BEFORE!"

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Here are the top ten games at oldsters' birthday parties:

1. Sag - You're It!
2. Hide and Go Sleep
3. Hide and Go Seek Your Own Easter Eggs (a variation on the previous game)
4. 20 Questions Shouted into Your Good Ear
5. Kick the Bucket
6. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse says Bend Over
7. Spin the Bottle of Liniment
8. Musical Recliners
9. Simon Says Something Incoherent
10. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
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