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Half-a-Dozen Funny Signs

It's been a while since I've posted funny signs, so I'll post the ones I've received since my last post of signs.

At the end of January and the first few days of February, we Americans received many things we will need for doing our taxes. Here's a tax-related sign someone sent me.

Teach Kids Taxes

Here's a sign one of my former language students currently living in Europe posted to my Facebook wall. It's actually quite timely since we are learning food vocab in my French and German classes.
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Under Proper Management…

Franz Schubert

Looking through my files as I tried to decide what to post this week, I ran across something that I, as somewhat of a musical Philistine, found humorous. It's about Franz Schubert's Unfinished Symphony, as evaluated by someone whose greatest strengths are managerial rather than musical. It sheds a bit of light on how management looks at things differently from how others do.

Schubert's Unmanaged Symphony

A managed care company president was given a ticket for a performance of Schubert's Unfinished Symphony. Since she was unable to go, she gave the ticket to one of her managed care reviewers. The next morning she asked him how he had enjoyed it. Instead of a few observations about the symphony in general, he handed her a formal memorandum which read as follows:

1. For a considerable period, the oboe players had nothing to do. Their number should be reduced, and their work spread over the whole orchestra, avoiding peaks of inactivity.
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Things Hidden in Company Logos

Recently I received an e-mail with some cool logos in it. The whole thrust of the e-mail was the things that graphic artists hide in company logos. I thought you might find some of these as interesting as I did.

I'll start off with one that many people have either noticed on their own or have had pointed out to them. What is the hidden message in the following logo?

FedEx Logo

Did you see the white arrow between the "E" and "x"? I thought it was really cool that the artist was also able to make that happen in the Arabic version of the FedEx logo below. The arrow points in the opposite direction, but then I believe that in Arabic they write from right to left.

FedEx Logo Arabic

The arrow in the next logo is much more visible and signifies that Amazon has everything from A to Z.
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Do You Take Notes?

Taking Notes

When I'm in meetings of various sorts, I often take notes. I guess that's how I ended up being the secretary of the deacons so many years at church. It's probably a hold-over from my student days, but jotting down notes also helps me pay better attention.

This past Sunday morning we saw a news clip about people who doodle as they take notes. If you'd like to see the clip, here's a link to it. I've never been a doodler. I guess my artistic expression shows up in other forms.

I don't usually get to see the notes that my students take in class, but if the following is an accurate reflection, the notes may be full of misunderstandings, missstatements, and wrong conclusions. It could also explain why a student sometimes says, "Well, in my notes I have that you said...." I want to say, "Well, if it's in your notes, I must have said that," with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. But I don't, being the nice man that I am. :-)


When the professor says:

"Probably the greatest quality of the poetry of John Milton, who was born in 1608, is the combination of beauty and power. Few have excelled him in the use of the English language, or for that matter, in lucidity of verse form, 'Paradise Lost' being said to be the greatest single poem ever written."

Student writes: John Milton — born 1608

When the professor says:
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More One-Liner Puns

Since last week's post was longer than usual, this week's is much shorter.

WARNING — don't read this unless you are free to have the occasional LOL, or at least to groan loudly.

I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

I'd like to pun about philosophy, but I Kant.

My skiing skills are really going downhill.

I don't enjoy computer jokes — not one bit.

I just read an ad for a job inspecting mirrors. I could really see myself doing that.

If you asked a plastic surgeon to make you look like a pelican, would you get a massive bill?

I heard a song today about tortillas. Is that what they call wrap music?

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A shotgun wedding is a matter of wife or death.

I wanted to bring a penguin home but my parents said that wasn't going to fly.

Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

I usually avoid funerals. I'm just not a mourning person.

Oxygen and Potassium went on a date. It was OK.

As a career choice, pyrotechnics sparks my interest.
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