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Funny Pictures, Made All the Funnier

People send me more pictures than just funny signs. I decided that this post would be some pictures made all the funnier with captions. Several of them wouldn't be funny at all without the captions. You decide....

picture of funny picture

What amazed me was that I did just what that picture said without actually following the directions!

picture of funny picture

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Places to Go and Not to Go

picture of places you'll go

My third semester French students have been working on mastering the prepositions used in French to tell where someone or something is, is going to, or is coming from. You former students of French probably remember what a challenge this is, especially if you are already weak in geography. In French the preposition that's used depends on the type of geographical location (city, country, island, etc.) and in certain cases the gender of that location (a masculine country vs a feminine country). Thus to say you were going to the following places, you would end up with à Paris, en Italie, au Pérou, and aux États-Unis. You can see the potential for frustration, especially if you can't even remember whether a place is a city or a country, let alone what gender it is! Since, along with the prepositions, we're working on the future tense, the title of the Dr. Seuss book seemed perfect.

This past week a reader sent me a little story loaded with puns. I've tweaked it slightly and added some ideas of my own. I hope you enjoy it.

Places to Go and Not to Go

I have visited many places in my life, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go there alone — you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I've often wished I could at least be in Visible. As much as I want to go, though, you'll probably never see me there. I would like to get to Conclusions, but to do so, you often have to jump — something I'm trying not to do much any more.
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More Funny and Maybe Not-So-Funny Signs

Some of my readers have come through with more great signs, and I'm adding a few I've run across also.

Some outdoor signs get messed up in one way or another. Here's one a reader spotted that had been "repaired."

picture of funny sign

Let's hope that these two signs are for two different destinations on the same road.

picture of funny sign

Here are some signs that readers found on other people's Facebook walls:
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Jokes on Health and Aging

picture of healthy aging book

Since I will be passing a major milestone at the end of this week (I will turn 60 on Friday), I thought I'd post some jokes I've accumulated on aging. Also I had a bit of a health scare recently. Though I'm still consulting physicians about things, it seems that the symptoms I've been experiencing are caused by a mineral deficiency rather than something more serious. Therefore since I'm thinking not just about aging at this time, I'll add to today's mix some humor on health also. I especially appreciated several of today's jokes and hope you get a laugh or two also. Here goes!

A young man called his Jewish mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"

"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."

The son said, "Why are you so weak?"

She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."

The son said, "That's terrible, Mom. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"

"Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."


It was on the day we attended a relative's wedding that I realized my five-year-old grandson had been watching too many reality TV shows.

As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle toward the front of the church, he turned to me and asked, "Is this where the groom decides which one he wants to marry?


A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments: "My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup." "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee." "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." "My blood pressure pills make my dizzy."

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old."

"Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive!"
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Why Wear a Plain T-Shirt?

picture of plain t-shirt

With the official end of fall later this week, I thought I'd post something that would be a farewell to summer. With the hot weather of summer, one of people's favorite things to wear out and about is t-shirts. And with t-shirts come some great t-shirt sayings!

Here are some more humorous things you could wear on a t-shirt wear instead of sporting just a plain one.

Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

I recycle — I wore this shirt yesterday

What part of Eelymosynary Ratiocination do you not understand?

Voted class of 2057's most likely to travel back in time

I wish the buck stopped here — I could use a few

I cannot be cloned without the express written permission of Major League Baseball

I'm donating my body to science fiction

(seen on a 3-year-old) My mom calls me No! No! But my grandma calls Me Sweetie
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