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Are You What You Eat?


Some years back, there was an ad on TV for Nutri-Grain bars. The gist of the ad, without coming out and saying it in so many words, was — you eat it, you wear it! Or rather you are what you eat. The makers of the ad superimposed over various parts of people's anatomies some recognizable food items in a creative manner to illustrate their idea. One such person was a man with a donut around his waist trying and failing to get through a turnstile because of his donut. Another was a woman walking along with cinnamon rolls on her posterior. You can view the ad on YouTube. I've done a screen shot of the one segment I'm talking about for you to see below:

What does that have to do with today's blog post? Well, my German students have begun learning German irregular verbs. In German the third person one eats (man isst) sounds just like one is (man ist). Only when written are the verb forms distinguishable. I told my students to try to imagine the horror of learning that the person they were talking to is saying man isst, was man ist = you eat what you are, instead of the other way around. No German would say that, of course, since that would be advancing cannabilism. But in writing, spelling can be a life and death matter!

Back in 1998 when I was sending my "instant vacations" by e-mail, (see about page) I did an iv on cannibals. Of course, cannibalism is a deplorable practice, and there's nothing funny about what cannibals do. So the humor in these jokes lies in the puns and the other plays on words, rather than the topic itself. Please don't "chew me out" or "bite my head off" for posting these cannibal jokes. Just groan, delete, or cheerfully share them — how ever it is that you react. 🙂

Here goes....

A traveler met up with a cannibal who was practicing spear throwing at targets. The traveler noticed that the cannibal was very accurate no matter if he threw with his left or right hand. At seeing this the traveler thought out loud, "Boy, I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous like that." The cannibal turned quickly and said, "I'll take it!"
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Election Time Ironies


With elections coming in less than four weeks from now, I thought I'd share a few things my readers have sent me that highlight several election time ironies. (Are any of the rest of you, like me, more than ready for the end of this year's campaigning?!)

Two readers in Ohio have sent me campaign posters for a man who is running for sheriff in their county. Here's one of the signs that shows the irony of this candidate's name:

Here's another campaign poster for the same candidate.
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What’s UP?


Recently Becka and I rented and watched the Disney Pixar movie UP and enjoyed it immensely. Whoever wrote the script really understood little boys. Then this past week I received an e-mail from a long-time friend about the word up and thought it would make a good blog post. After tidying up and reworking the e-mail, I'm posting it to up the educational value of my blog.

I'm fairly certain that the only two-letter word in English that could be a noun [n], verb [v], adjective [adj], adverb [adv], preposition [prep], and also an abbreviation is up. And no other two-letter English word has more meanings. You will have to be up on your grammar to recognize what part of speech up is each time it is used. To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of up, look up the word up in the dictionary. In a small dictionary, it takes up almost 1/4 of the page and can add up to about thirty definitions.

Don't mess up as you use this word. Using it correctly is up to you.
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Punny Books


I remember that as a child I loved puns on book titles and authors. I've been compiling punny book titles for a while and am ready to unleash them on my readers. Some of them are more easily understood when read out loud. WARNING: You may want to be sure you are reading this in a place where you are free to LOL, or at least to groan loudly.

Having been a good little library helper in junior high, I have arranged the list in alphabetical order by the author's last name. And now as a wiser adult, I have removed from the list inappropriate ones that amused me as a junior higher. 😳

Remember — you can't always judge a book by its cover and author!

Truancy by Marcus Absent

Positive Reinforcement by Wade Ago

I Didn't Do It! by Ivan Alibi

Nuclear Explosives by Adam Baum

Songs for Children by Barbara Blacksheep

Stop Arguing by Xavier Breath

Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Camel

Gas Guzzlers by Russ T. Carrburata

The Unsung Vegetable by R. T. Choke

Tickling Your Fancy by Kit G. Coo

French Overpopulation by Francis Crowded
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Why Women Live Longer than Men, take 3


This week's iv was all ready to post this morning ... until I received an e-mail last evening from one of my readers. When I saw it, I just knew this had to be this week's iv.

I've done two other posts on Why Women Live Longer than Men and will share the links to them at the end of this post so that you can find them more easily, if you're so inclined.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I'll not make much commentary on these pictures.

The first several are home handymen using ladders.


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