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Smart Phoning


I don't know about you, but when I first heard the expression "smartphone," the image that popped into my mind was that of Maxwell Smart talking into his shoe phone. That corny show was a favorite of mine in my impressionable youth. At that time, some of what we're currently living was still sci-fi ... back when they told us that some day people would be able to see each other as they talked on the phone. Skype anyone? FaceTime anyone? It seems that nowadays, if you can imagine it, someone has already invented it!

I'm not really interested in getting a smartphone and all that goes with it. I mean, which one would I even choose?! Here are just a few of the choices:

Our daughter Nora has a friend who attended a wedding in Guam shortly after getting a smartphone. What she didn't know was that, when the phone was on, it would be updating once a minute for the entire week she was there. She sent about 10 texts and made two 5-minute phone calls, limiting her usage, knowing the rates would be undoubtedly be much higher from there. But still, when she got back home and saw her next bill, she was in total shock. It was for more than $37,000! When she pleaded her case with her service provide and could get nowhere with them, she contacted a local TV station — 7 On Your Side — for help. By putting the spotlight on the craziness of her situation, the folks at channel 7 WSPA were able to get her cell phone service provider to eliminate all those roaming charges from while she was in Guam.
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Marital Pearls of Wisdom


Before June, the month of many weddings, fades into history, I thought I'd post some things a long-time reader reminded me I sent out in 2003, before I started blogging.
 
Gramps and Granny were discussin' their 50th wedding anniversary. She asked, "Shall I kill a chicken tonight?"
 
"Naw," said Gramps. "Why blame the poor bird for something that happened 50 years ago?"
 

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Pearls of wisdom from Grandpa on having a long, happy marriage...
 
Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, make beds and is in good health, and most importantly he's already used to taking orders.
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Humerus Puns


The other day a reader sent me a list of puns I don't remember ever seeing. I found them humorous and thought they might tickle your funny bone too. Those who hate puns may have a bone to pick with me. Make no bones about it, though, some of these will make you laugh or groan out loud.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
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If These Kitchen Walls Could Talk…


Do you have any signs on the walls of your kitchen? I've noticed that many people I know have either funny or thought-provoking signs in their kitchens. Being a lover of funny signs, I especially appreciate the ones that are humorous.

Our kitchen has several signs. The first two are pretty ones that a friend gave us knowing our love of French and France. Here they are.

The other sign is great, and I'm hoping most people read it so quickly that they don't notice the misspelled word.
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What Do You Want?


One of the things we struggle with our whole lives is contentment. It seems as if, no matter what we have, we want more of it or something else entirely. From the moment we are born we want something we don't have — food, a clean diaper, warmth, sleep. And so it goes on through life. We people are so seldom satisfied with what we have. What makes us content?

Today's iv is a couple of things our pastor used as sermon illustrations a few years ago. I jotted down enough to help me locate them, and then I squirreled them away. The first is a list of how a toddler views what he or she wants, and the second is a neat poem.

Toddler’s Rules of Possession

1. If I want it, it's mine

2. If it's in my hand, it's mine

3. If I can take it away from you, it's mine

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way
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