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What Did They Mean?


picture of question mark

As a teacher of foreign languages, I'm all about clarity in communication. When people wonder what we meant to say, we have not communicated well. Having said that, though, I can't hide the fact that I find unclear signs very humorous. Go figure!

Today's post contains mostly signs, but there are also several other pictures that make you wonder.

I'll start off with some signs where the translations leave you wondering what was meant.

Is this place visited mostly by old men?

picture of funny sign

I'm not sure who is supposed to have the continence issues at this next establishment.
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What Are the Chances?


picture of mug

I've received some great jokes in my e-mail recently. The ones I'm posting today all seemed to be scenarios that were crazy enough to actually happen or were maybe even fairly likely to occur. I'll leave it to you to decide, as you read these, what the chances are of these events' happening in real life. Whether these scenarios are likely or not, I found them all humorous and predict that you'll chuckle at least once as you read this. Read on and tell me if I'm wrong.

A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film location in the mountains spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a guard-rail, rolled down a 90-foot embankment, turned over, and burst into flames.

There were no injuries.

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One day in Little Johnny's kindergarten class, his teacher was telling them the story of the three little pigs. They were at the part when the first pig needed to build his house.

"Then," the teacher said, "the first little pig needed straw to build his house. Along the road he saw a farmer carrying a bail of straw. So the little pig walked up to the farmer and asked him if he could borrow his straw to build a house. Then class, do you know what the farmer said?"

Little Johnny immediately raised his hand and waved it furiously.

"Yes, Johnny?" said the teacher.

He replied, "I know! I know! The farmer said, 'WOW! A TALKING PIG!!!'"

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Things You Wish You’d Hear


picture of an ear

Every day we hear all sorts of things — good, bad, and some things downright ugly. I hear many things I wish I hadn't heard, and unfortunately I miss some things that I really should have heard, but didn't.

Today's iv is a starter list of things I would love to hear some time, but probably won't. It's a "starter list" because I hope my readers will add to this list in the comments.

Things you wish you'd hear...

From a telemarketing person:
I'm sorry, did I reach you at a bad time? Here's my number... just call me back when you'd like to hear my sales pitch.

I understand that you are not interested. Thank you for your time.

Click (Them hanging up)

From your boss:
You look tired today. Take the rest of the day off.

The company offered me a 25% raise, but I told them that you deserved it more than I do.

From your auto mechanic:
That part is much less expensive than I thought.

I've never seen anyone maintain his car as well as you do.

You could get that done more cheaply at the garage down the street.

It was just a loose wire. No charge.

(I have actually heard some of those things from my mechanic! What a great guy!)
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Funny Pictures, Made All the Funnier


People send me more pictures than just funny signs. I decided that this post would be some pictures made all the funnier with captions. Several of them wouldn't be funny at all without the captions. You decide....

picture of funny picture

What amazed me was that I did just what that picture said without actually following the directions!

picture of funny picture

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Places to Go and Not to Go


picture of places you'll go

My third semester French students have been working on mastering the prepositions used in French to tell where someone or something is, is going to, or is coming from. You former students of French probably remember what a challenge this is, especially if you are already weak in geography. In French the preposition that's used depends on the type of geographical location (city, country, island, etc.) and in certain cases the gender of that location (a masculine country vs a feminine country). Thus to say you were going to the following places, you would end up with à Paris, en Italie, au Pérou, and aux États-Unis. You can see the potential for frustration, especially if you can't even remember whether a place is a city or a country, let alone what gender it is! Since, along with the prepositions, we're working on the future tense, the title of the Dr. Seuss book seemed perfect.

This past week a reader sent me a little story loaded with puns. I've tweaked it slightly and added some ideas of my own. I hope you enjoy it.

Places to Go and Not to Go

I have visited many places in my life, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go there alone — you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I've often wished I could at least be in Visible. As much as I want to go, though, you'll probably never see me there. I would like to get to Conclusions, but to do so, you often have to jump — something I'm trying not to do much any more.
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