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What Did You Do All Day, Honey?

This Sunday is the day we honor our moms who have given of themselves so tirelessly and unselfishly to make us what we are today. (In case you had forgotten, run ... do not walk ... to get something for her!) When I saw the following story in my files, I knew it's the one I wanted to post today.

picture of a busy mom

A man came home from work and found his three children outside still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food boxes and 20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, and so was the front door to the house, and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel and the family room floor was almost totally covered with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
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Are There Risks in Marrying a Commoner?

picture of Prince William and Catherine Middleton

Are you among those who are all excited about the upcoming wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton this Friday? Will any of you American readers be getting up in the middle of the night to watch the TV coverage? I hope this couple will be much happier than Charles and Diana were. Becka has been following the preparations for the royal wedding fairly closely, but I have given it almost no attention at all. For those of you who, like me, need to get up to speed on this big wedding, you can check out the official website.

From everything I've seen, the royal family has no reason to be concerned over Kate's being a "commoner." After all, she's not a "coal miner's daughter" — she's a coal miner's great-granddaughter. I'm feel confident, though, that the wedding reception(s?) will be higher class than either of the two pictured below:

picture of redneck reception activities

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Top Twenty Reasons to Home School

picture of home school house

I believe there are quite a few home school families who read my blog. I have the utmost respect for home schoolers who do their job well. In recent years some fine students who were home schooled have been in my university French classes. I'm confident that any home schoolers will read today's post with an eye to the humor. It is in no way meant as a criticism, but rather it highlights the humor of their particular situation. The list has been in my files for years, recently resurfaced, and has been tweaked slightly from the way it originally came to me.

Top twenty reasons to home school

20. Your kids never tell you that their teacher knows more than you do.

19. If you can't find matching socks for your child first thing in the morning, who cares?

18. Cleaning out the refrigerator can double as science lab.

17. Your kids never have a reason to think they'll get beat up by a gang at school.

16. If the principal gives the teacher a bad evaluation, she can stick her icy feet against his legs at night.

15. You can post the Ten Commandments on your school room wall, and you won't get sued.

14. You never have to drive your child's forgotten lunch to school.

13. Your child will never go to their 20th high school reunion, meet an old flame, and rush into an unfortunate marriage.

That reminded me of a cartoon I love....

picture of home school cartoon

12. You get to change more than diapers — you get to change minds.

11. If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you're having a PTA meeting.
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Funny Quotations about Taxes

picture of tax burden

April is the month when the thoughts of many Americans go to taxes. In honor of taxes being due in the next few days, I am posting a collection of funny quotations about taxes, some anonymous, others attributed. If you know the attribution for any that I don't, please let me know and I'll update the post. I did a lot of searching already, but it was becoming too taxing for me....

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation. (Laurence Peter)

I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is — I could be just as proud for half the money. (Arthur Godfrey)

This is the season of the year when we discover that we owe most of our success to Uncle Sam. (The Wall Street Journal)

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta. (Dave Barry)

There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure. (Dan Bennett)

I was making a speech on the Senate floor and I said, 'Now, ladies and gentlemen, let me tax your memories.' And Kennedy jumped up and said, 'Why haven't we thought of that before?'" (Bob Dole)

If the Lord had meant us to pay income taxes, he'd have made us smart enough to prepare the return. (Kirk Kirkpatrick)

The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.

Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of May Day! (Robert Knauerhase)
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Newest Signs

More funny signs have come my way. Strangely enough, most of them are about either drinking or driving, or both.

Who could resist the bargain in the sign below?!

picture of funny sign

Is this next sign really necessary?

picture of funny sign

Here's a sign that wants to take every loophole into consideration.
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