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What Do You Call It?

I stumbled upon an interesting map recently as I surfed the web. (click on map to enlarge)

picture of soda pop map

Growing up in northwestern Ohio, I assumed that everyone called carbonated soft drinks "pop." You can see on the map how solidly my part of the state opts for that word usage. Then my aunt Janet who also grew up in my hometown moved to St. Louis. On visits back to Ohio, she called it "soda." Then I attended college at Bob Jones University in Greenville, SC. There I was introduced to all kinds of "pop" I had never seen or heard of — Nehi fruit-flavored pops, RC Cola, among them. And yet the people from Greenville called them all "Coke." To me "Coke" was a certain brand of pop — I guess it's like calling all tissues "Kleenex?"

At BJU, I met students from all over the country. Some of them called pop "soda pop" and still others "tonic," which fits into the "other" category on the map above.

What do they call pop where you live? Is the map accurate for your locale?


"Find your feast in Christ, and let the storms rage." — Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.

If GM Merged with Microsoft

picture of sign

In this day of corporate mergers, takeovers, and conglomerates, we end up with some interesting combinations. I did a blog post some time back about this. Today's post is about what would happen if General Motors (a.k.a. Government Motors) merged with Microsoft. Let's take a look at some of the upsides and the downsides.

Computer companies often have a customer service telephone number where lovely young men and women in India try to help customers with their computer woes. GM doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers. But if the two companies merged, here are some examples of what calls to GM's HelpLine might sound like as GM had to deal with what computer companies deal with all the time:

HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"

HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"

CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"

HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."

CUSTOMER: "Ignition?! Starter motor?! Battery?! Engine?! How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?!"
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Sometimes You Just Have to Scratch Your Head

picture of sign

When I see some signs, I have to wonder if the sign maker simply wasn't thinking or later realizes what a strange sign he or she has made. Is there ever an "Oops!" moment? Maybe it's like what editors experience — after escaping numerous proofreadings, the mistakes almost leap off the page once the book is published.

Today I'm posting some signs that have come my way, most of which leave me scratching my head.

One of my readers went to a game recently and upon seeing this sign wondered if it meant that all the people would be asked to leave the gym.

picture of funny sign

Seeing that the teams and fans stayed in spite of the sign, she figured it was all right to stay.

Be careful where you dig near this next sign!
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Three Different Trios

picture of the Three Stooges

Today for Valentine's Day, I'm posting three short jokes about the relationships between men and women. In one way or another, three people are involved in each of the jokes, hence the idea of trios in the title. Trios don't get much more different than the one on the right.

One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money for some special projects. He asked the people to consider putting a little more than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most could pick out three hymns that morning. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in the offering.

He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly-looking lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front.

Slowly she made her way up the aisle. He told her how wonderful it was that she had given so much and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked out over the congregation, pointed, and said, "I'll take him and him and him!"


How to get people to stop bugging you about getting married....
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Are You into Designer Coffees?

picture of fancy coffee drinks

Anyone who knows me well knows that I enjoy a good cup of coffee, especially when shared with others. Several weeks ago my son Mark and I went out for a cuppa at Leopard Forest in beautiful downtown T.R. (Travelers Rest, for those of you not familiar with the Greenville area.) We both got a Snow Leopard, their most popular beverage blended with white chocolate, caramel, and macadamia nut. I'm sure it contained some coffee too. It was delicious, but I also realize that some fancy coffee drinks have the same caloric content as an entire meal! I figure the occasional splurge like that probably won't kill me. Actually, I most often drink my coffee black, enjoying the taste of the coffee itself without the calories and fat grams that I don't really need.

Since I normally order black coffee, I even have a hard time remembering what the difference is between a latte and a cappucino and feel like a dolt when I have to ask. I found the following picture online of the make up of various coffee drinks. I should print it out and review it for those little splurges several times a year.

picture of coffee drinks

Someone with a commercial site was kind enough to let me know that the link to the picture above was broken. I've now fixed the link, but to thank her for alerting me to the broken link, I am giving the link she provided to a similar image on her site. Thanks, Abigail!

I was surprised, though, when I stumbled across an even more detailed chart of coffee drinks. Click on the image below if you want to see a larger version of it.
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