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Rules of the Road

picture of vacationers

Summer vacation is in full swing, which means lots of people traveling lots of miles (or kilometers). As a special service to any of my readers who might be joining those on the roads, here are some of the rules that are apparently the "code of the road" for many other drivers out there.

Rules of the Road

Turn signals will give away your next move. Never use them, just to maintain the element of surprise.

Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you. This space will just be filled by another car, creating a hazard, and you'll have to slow down to create another safe space, which will be filled by yet another car. You'll have to slow down again and will never reach your destination on time.

It is assumed that police cars traveling at a high speed – especially with their sirens on – may be followed safely, allowing you to make up for time lost by constantly slowing down to achieve a safe zone between you and the car in front of you.

Crossing more than one lane at a time marks you as an expert driver and feels dangerously cool. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane change is considered going with the flow.

Never get in the way of an older model car that needs extensive body work. He has nothing to lose.
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Letter Writing

picture of letter writing

Do you write many letters? Back in my lower-tech days, I wrote lots of letters ... long letters! It seems that the easier and cheaper communication became, the less I communicated with handwritten letters. I'm in touch with many of the same people I used to write to, but I'm also definitely in touch with many more than before. Most of my written communication now is by e-mail, texts, and instant messages. I rarely ever receive handwritten personal letters, maybe because I seldom send them myself.

In my files I found some very short letters, all of which actually say quite a bit. I've accumulated others along the way, and post them today for your enjoyment.

Dear Americans,
You'd have cool accents too if you hadn't thrown all that tea in the water.
The British

Dear Internet,
Please stop with the talking ads that start on their own.
Just had a heart attack

Dear Internet Explorer,
Thank you for being the #1 browser that people use to download a better browser.
Safari, Firefox and Chrome

Dear Silence,
You may be golden, but I'm silver
Duct Tape
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Foreign Expressions

picture of foreign languages

Since I am a foreign language teacher, I am frequently asked what certain expressions mean in English. Back in the mid-1990's a magazine (I've seen the following attributed to several, so I'll refrain from naming the magazine) had a contest based on expressions in foreign languages. The instructions were to take a well-known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the new expression.

Here are some of the ones submitted to that contest:

Can you drive a French motorcycle?

We're wild and crazy guys!

I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered.

I think; therefore I am a waffle.

The cat is dead.

Honk if you're Scottish.
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Signs of Summer

I have received some great signs from readers lately. They follow no theme since they were seen and sent randomly. I hope they will bring you a smile or a laugh to start off your week.

Two of my readers recently made a trip to Europe and spotted this sign for women's clothing sizes in the UK:

picture of funny sign

I knew there was a reason I drink coffee. This next sign could be why.
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Quotations by and about Fathers

picture of dad heart

This year, for the first time, our son Mark will celebrate Father's Day as a dad. In honor of that, I'm posting some quotations by and about fathers. Some are humorous while others are thoughtful, or even provocative. They come from a large file I had of parent and grandparent quotations. If any of the quotations have incorrect attribution or you know the attribution for any that are unattributed, please let me know and I'll update the post.

A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

A father is a banker provided by nature. - French Proverb

A father is a person who is forced to endure childbirth without an anesthetic.

A man's children and his garden both reflect the amount of weeding done during the growing season.

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.

Any fool can be a Father, but it takes a real man to be a Daddy. - Philip Whitmore Sr.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! - Psalm 127:4-5

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadworth

Children are poor men's riches. - English Proverb
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