ivman's blague rotating header image loading ... please wait....

Highly Ironic Signs


Today's blog post is a collection of signs that deliver some ironic messages. I hope you enjoy them.

The invention of the system of raised dots by Frenchman Louis Braille dramatically changed the lives of blind people. But Braille writing shows up in some of the oddest places — the number pads of drive-thru ATM's and warning signs on doors opening outward, for example. Here's an instance of where the placement of Braille seems not only ironic, but also downright cruel.

picture of ironic sign

Click here to continue reading this post →

Cat Laws of Physics


picture of kitten in a Pringles can

Even if you don't like them, you have to admit that cats are interesting creatures. Although they can be very animated and move silently at lightening speed, they spend about 20 hours out of every 24 sleeping. That is true not only of domestic cats, but also the big cats like lions and tigers. I didn't grow up with cats since my mom, for whatever reason, said she didn't like them. My wife, however, comes from a long line of "cat people." The first summer of our marriage I brought home an adorable kitten for her. Becka thought we should name her Elsa because she was free. (Think: Born Free....) It didn't take long till I was hooked. That kitten (and later cat) was just so much fun!

One reason some people don't like cats is that they don't understand that cats operate by a different set of laws from dogs. Maybe once those who don't like cats know what these laws are, they can appreciate cats more. But then again, these laws may clinch why cat haters don't like them. Anyway, here's a list of laws to which cats adhere, with an occasional personal story from my experience.

Cat Laws of Physics

Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Click here to continue reading this post →

How to Know You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee


picture of coffee poster

Do you like coffee? My parents and grandparents all drank coffee, and as a child, I thought I never would myself. However in college when I had to get up at 4:00 to work in the campus bakery four mornings a week, I found that a cup of coffee helped me be more alert on some of those mornings. Our boss would let us add sugar and cream only after taking one sip without them. I actually grew to like the taste of coffee with no amendments at all. My wife does not enjoy hot coffee, but she likes cold coffee drinks and coffee flavored ice cream ranks high on her list.

This past week we stayed with our daughter and son-in-law in Michigan. Each morning my grandson Drew and I took a walk to various destinations. Two of the mornings we walked to a Tim Hortons that's less than a mile from Megan and Jim's house. Here's a picture of Drew eating a chocolate timbit and of Poppy's steaming cup of brew.

picture of Drew at Tim Hortons

I used to drink only regular coffee, and lots of it, but in recent years if I have to be careful not to get too much caffeine. After enduring a racing heart and shaky hands, I quickly learned to limit my intake. Caffeine after about 3:00 in the afternoon keeps me awake during the night. It's a bummer, but those are the most common signs for me that I've drunk too much coffee. Here's a cartoon I saw recently that makes me smile.

picture of views of an all-nighter

In my files I found a list of other ways people can know they drink too much coffee.

You know you're drinking too much coffee when...

...Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.

...you can ski uphill.

...you get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
Click here to continue reading this post →

Graffiti


picture of McDo sign

Being a person who likes to leave things better than I found them, I have never understood the mentality that does graffiti or other forms of vandalism. Some "graffiti artists" might argue that they are trying to improve things by leaving something eye catching behind, but many of them do not leave something good behind. Much of graffiti is vulgar and unsightly, seeking to show disrespect or to draw attention to the vandals themselves, and most people do not appreciate having their property defaced or having to clean up graffiti. In this post I am in no way trying to encourage or excuse vandalism, but since graffiti happens, I will try to look at some of the effects that are actually interesting or even beautiful. Some graffiti is quite creative ... if only that creativity could be directed into more acceptable activity....

I'll start off with some that are really pretty cool.

Here's a staircase illusion.

picture of graffiti

Here is some modern art done by someone named Banksy, a British street artist with an international reputation.
Click here to continue reading this post →

No Nursing Home for Me!


picture of nursing home

Let's see the hands of all of you out there who want to live in a nursing home! I don't imagine I would see many raised on that one. And that's not surprising. Many people do not even like to visit someone in a nursing home. Living in a nursing home is something that most people dread and hope will never happen to them. But it has become a reality for many and is often their best and only option.

It may have slipped by some of us that this past week — May 9 - 15 — was National Nursing Home Week. My mom lives in a nursing home in Bowling Green, Ohio. It's a very well run facility with very nice staff, and she's happy and safe there. It's really her only option with some of her present special needs.

When we go on trips, we usually stay with family. When we do stay in hotels, which is rare, we thoroughly enjoy some of the amenities there that we don't have at home. As nice and well run as nursing homes and hotels are, though, we prefer living in our home. Thoughts of nursing homes and hotels reminded me of something I've had in my files for a long time.

No Nursing Home for Me!

picture of Holiday Inn logo

With the average cost for a nursing home reaching $209.00 per day (in 2008), there is a better way to spend our savings, when we get old and feeble. Someone has already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and a senior discount. It comes to only $70.23 per night.

That leaves you $138.77 a day for the following, most of which is already free:
Click here to continue reading this post →