Since this is the fiftieth anniversary of the launching of Sputnik 1, I thought I’d post something scientific … well, maybe at least as scientific as some of what calls itself science.

A magazine held a competition, inviting its readers to submit new scientific theories on any subject. Below are the top five winners:

5th place (Subject: Probability Theory) If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare in Braille.

4th place (Subject: Bio-Mechanics) Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your head unbalances other people’s ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it out.

3rd place (Subject: Symbolic Logic) The Chinese are technologically underdeveloped because each of their writing characters represents a whole word or phrase, rather than a single letter. Thus they cannot use acronyms to communicate technical ideas at a faster rate.

2nd place (Subject: Newtonian Mechanics) Deforestation will eventually cause earthquakes, tidal waves or even the total destruction of our planet. Just as a figure-skater’s rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting down of tall trees may cause the earth to spin dangerously fast on its axis with disastrous results.

Winner (Subject: Perpetual Motion) When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat’s back, buttered side up and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

A reader mentioned to me that there’s an article on Wikipedia similar to the winning theory. Below is the picture from that article.

Several (dis?)honorable mentions…

Honorable Mention (Subject: Earth Science) Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they are landing at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.

Honorable Mention (Auto Mechanics) The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is that it’s easier to go faster when you’re always going downhill. Besides, they get better gas mileage that way.

Honorable Mention (Subject: Linguistics) The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian “pahks his cah,” the lost R’s migrate southwest, causing a Texan to “warsh” his car and invest in “erl” wells.

***
In my last post I promised to include a few pictures. Here’s one of Uncle Mark and Drew…

Saturday afternoon some of us went up to North Carolina to get some apples at our favorite place - Lyda. They had some fall decor sitting around, just begging for photo ops. Here’s a nice picture of Meg and Drew…

Then here’s one of our little punkin all by himself…

quotation…

“Courage is not needed if all things are easy and smooth.” - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

Why are aliens from outer space always portrayed as evil? How do we know that there’s not some alien out there who’s just waiting to share the recipe for “The Universe’s Best Waffle Mix?”