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Safe at Home

picture of sign

This past week the home of a couple who reads my blog was burgled. I don't know much about exactly what happened or whether they had a home security system. If they have something in place, it wasn't effective in this case. It seems as if the thief knew the family's schedule since it happened during a very short period (an hour and a half) when no one was home.

In these days of unemployment and a tough economy, it's a good idea to do what we can to protect ourselves against break ins. Some people do that with a watch dog. I'm not sure that this sign I found on eBay would do much to deter crooks.

picture of warning sign

These next couple of signs would make anyone think twice before breaking in.

picture of warning sign

picture of warning sign

It's hard to know what might happen at the following home.

picture of warning sign

It's not just guard dogs who fall asleep on the job.

picture of warning sign

picture of warning sign

So much for the security of a gated community, huh?

This sign might be one of the best deterrents.

picture of warning sign

I know that a picture is worth a thousand words, but there are times when words paint a situation more clearly than a picture could ever do.

Here are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting carefully-worded signs in prominent locations:

Dear Mr. Butcher,
Starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious!


Dear Mr. Mailman,
We found bloodstains all over our mail. They must be yours. The next time you put mail into our slot, please be sure to keep all parts of your body well clear of all openings.

PS. Any sign of that book we ordered? — "The Care and Feeding of Wild Jungle Cats"


Dear Mr. Exterminator,
Be very careful when you go inside! The termites have eaten through most of the floorboards and you will fall into the basement where all of the rats are!


To whom it may concern:
Some of the items in this house have been engraved with Federal Identification Numbers. Others have merely been wired to explode when touched. Good luck!


Selma, don't come in! The boa constrictor got loose again.


Here's how to install a wireless security system in four easy steps:

1. Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair.

2. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.

3. Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish.

4. Leave a note on your front door that says something like "Bubba, big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition — back in 1/2 an hour. Don't disturb the Pit Bulls — they've just been wormed."


Do you have any words of wisdom on home security?


"How many lives sink into oblivion through too lates and if onlies?" - Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=

Geeks used to say, "Home is where you hang your @." With Wi-Fi available in so many places, is home still where you hang your @ ?

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9 Comments on “Safe at Home”

  1. #1 Megan
    on Sep 27th, 2010 at 6:52 am

    No security tips as yet but can I just say I LOVE the banner for your blog. ABSOLUTELY adore it. That is to say, the one with the rat and the Eiffel tower. 🙂

    Rob adds: Thanks, Megan. That’s from the movie Ratatouille.

  2. #2 Kathie
    on Sep 27th, 2010 at 8:18 am

    When I lived in San Diego, we had a Neighborhood Watch meeting. The officer told us our security system only had to be better than the neighbors on either side of us. For some reason everyone thought that was funny and we spent three minutes laughing.

    Rob adds: So did the neighbors on either side of you not watch out for their other neighbors? Nosy neighbors (the good kind of nosy) are a wonderful blessing.

  3. #3 Michael
    on Sep 27th, 2010 at 9:00 am

    We have a security system for our house, but the guy who set up our system for us said that studies show that just having a sign in your yard or on your doors indicating you have a security system is a great deterrent to criminals.

    Rob adds: I’m sure that guy is right — what thief is going to chance breaking in if there’s a threat of a security system?

  4. #4 Jonathan
    on Sep 27th, 2010 at 9:42 am

    My accountant didn’t think the expense of my German Shepherd could be a tax deduction as a ‘mobile securtiy system’.

    Rob adds: Not even if your German Shepherd is extremely mobile?

  5. #5 Skip Hughes
    on Sep 27th, 2010 at 10:10 am

    Sign I saw in front of a residence north of Greer years ago:


    Rob adds: Good one, Skip! Especially from a cop! 😀

  6. #6 Kristin
    on Sep 27th, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    These are awesome! Not sure how a Labrador Security sign would go over here…he’s big and black, so he might LOOK intimidating, but he’s really a big weenie.

    If my hubby gets that 3rd shift job, I think I’ll go with the boots/magazine/dish security system. That should be cheap enough, since we already have the boots. Thanks for the idea!

    Rob adds: I hope it works for you, Kristin. Let me know.

  7. #7 Stephany
    on Sep 27th, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    I know a family with the last name of “Butcher.” Disturbing. 😉

    Rob adds: I’ve heard that there’s a dentist named Dr. Butcher. Yikes!

  8. #8 Graggy
    on Sep 28th, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    Just as long as Dr. Butcher doesn’t have a bone to pick with U!! Getting an appt with him is like pulling teeth… Save the teeth as a threat deterrent!!!

    Rob adds: Especially when he’s down in the mouth! It’s fun to exchange puns with you again, Paul! Miss you, man! 😀

  9. #9 deb holman
    on Sep 28th, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    hey, I will say that we do not feel safe at home, but we have moe to protect us!! i am all for megan’s comment!! 🙂 lol

    Rob adds: Is “moe” a new addition since our last visit??? I thought there wouldn’t be any moe. I would think Tucker would keep you protected. 😉