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Senior Bumper Snickers

picture of bumper sticker

My wife and I seem to have more and more friends who are considered to be "seniors." There are several places where we are eligible for senior discounts, but there are far more where we aren't yet. Several people have sent me some senior bumper stickers. I don't know if they've actually been spotted or if they would just be good ones.

Senior Bumper Snickers

I'm retired. I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today.

I'm in the initial stages of my golden years - SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP...

Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics

Old age comes at a very bad time!

There are three signs of old age. The first is loss of memory. I forgot the other two.

I was always taught to respect my elders. I'm so old, there's no one left to respect.

I'm so old ... I don't buy green bananas

I was at the beauty shop for nearly two hours - that was only for the estimate

Talk fast - I don't have much time!

I'm not old. I'm chronologically gifted.

Just married... for 55 years

I'm so old that when I eat in a restaurant they ask for the money up front.

Old people ROCK

At my age, everything I buy comes with a lifetime guarantee!

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Any day above ground is a good one.

Bald and counting on global warming

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be

Consciousness - that annoying time between naps

Grandma's my name, and spoilin's my game

picture of bumper sticker

The idea is to die young as late as possible

I'm having a bad bald day

I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

Anybody seen my teeth?

I must be getting older ... all the names in my address book end with M.D.

At my age flowers scare me!

So far this is the oldest I've ever been.

It ain't the age. It's the mileage.

I'm NOT a Senior Citizen. I'm a recycled teenager.



I can't envision many of those bumper stickers on my car any time soon, though my car could honestly sport several of them.

Please don't tell me I'm delusional, but when I was a child and then as a young man, the people who were the age I am now really seemed to be a lot older than I currently see myself. I'm not talking appearance either – the ones I knew just didn't seem to have many interests and didn't do much. I'm older now than any of my grandparents were when I was born. As a child, I didn't see any of them do the types of activities my wife and I and friends our age enjoy doing. Is it because I'm around young people all the time? Is it because I've had an easier life? Is it just differences of personality and outlook? I simply don't picture myself as old as my grandparents and then later as my mom did when they were in their upper 50s. (Dad died at age 42 - YIKES, was he young!) I identify best with the one toward the bottom of the list - "I'm NOT a Senior Citizen. I'm a recycled teenager."

How about your experience? Those of you who are like my wife and me or who know people in our age bracket (in our upper 50s), do you see things as I described them above?


"Character of steel is forged on the anvil of hardship." - Col. Brad Lapiska

=^..^= =^..^=

Live each day like it's your last. One day you'll get it right!

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14 Comments on “Senior Bumper Snickers”

  1. #1 Donna
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 9:30 am

    I was in a car with a bunch of 20-somethings over Christmas and they were laughing about a guy on the street who was flirting with one of them. Imagine my shock when they laughed that he was so OLD anyway – he must have been FORTY. 🙂 (I told them that as a 39-year-old, I resented that remark!)

  2. #2 Carla
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 10:32 am

    It’s really sad when you’re only 42 years old, and when you go to an audition for a play, the only character you qualify for is someone’s wacky old aunt or a withering, dying grandmother! But hey – I am still NOT OLD!!! 🙂

  3. #3 Anita
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 10:36 am

    ::: BREAKING NEWS :::

    In 2009 the government will start deporting all of the weird old people.

    I started crying when I thought of you.

    Run, my friend, RUN !!!!

    Well, what can I say, Rob? Someone told me the news, and I’m not going alone!

  4. #4 Michael
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    My wife and I were talking the other day, and I shared with her that I don’t view myself as old as I really am. I’ve kind of always thought that way. I know what my age is, yet I don’t see myself as being in the same category as those in that age bracket. I think it’s because I lived at home until I was married and I didn’t get married until I was 30. Now, I don’t see myself as that old since my wife and I do not have kids as of yet. It still really hasn’t hit me that I’m a homeowner, car owner, a professional at what I do, etc.

    As for aging, I recommend a sermon preached at my church this past Sunday (1/25/09) by Matt Hoskinson. You should be able to get it via sermonaudio.com. He addressed sickness, aging, and death and how they are effects of the fall. Those things were not part of God’s original plan. Yet, because of Christ we have great hope in the face of those difficult things.

  5. #5 Rob
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    @Donna – I can hardly believe that you’re 39 already! Wow! You tell those young things! They’ll be 39 before they know it! 🙂

  6. #6 Rob
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    @Carla – I’ve seen fairly young people convincingly portray a character much older than they, so don’t be miffed. It was probably just a tribute to your acting flexibility.

  7. #7 Rob
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 2:11 pm

    Thanks, Anita! I’m sure there will be many of us joining you. I hope we’re all sent to somewhere like Hawaii, minus the cost of living.

  8. #8 Rob
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    Michael, you are young, not only at heart, but also in body. Stay that way and retain the wisdom you already have and will gain more of along the way.

  9. #9 Vikki
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    I had to laugh out loud at “Never do anything you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics”. My mind just ran wild over that one.

    Age is all relative. I remember when I would hear of someone dying at the age of 62 and think that they had lived a nice long life. Now 62 sounds soooooo young! I remember people who had been married for 10 years and it seemed like such a long time. Now they’re almost newly weds to me.

    Keeping active mentally I think is the key to how old you feel. Here are BJU there are people still teaching in their mid 70’s or so and, outside of a few wrinkles, they still act young and are still sharp as a whip mentally. Once you start to slow down in learning new things is when you start to age. I think that’s what we saw our grandparents doing. Grandpa retired and took his “long deserved break” from work and started to vegetate. Grandma never did anything but stay at home and be a mom and housewife and didn’t continue to exercise herself mentally. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with staying home, but you’ve got to be doing something with yourself that keeps the mind challenged and active.

  10. #10 Carrie
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    I agree with Vikki – even “young” people that don’t pursue any interests tend to get, um, boring.
    Several years ago (I’m 37) I was thinking about how young my parents seem as grandparents, while my own grandparents seemed old from the time I remember. Then I looked at a picture of my grandparents from when I was a baby – they were young! Their hair was dark, they had virtually no wrinkles! Isn’t it funny how we perceive people older than ourselves. I too think of my self as young: up til a few years ago I thought of myself as practically a teenager. Now that I’m married with a first grader, that’s behind me!
    Personally, I plan to exercise, knit, read, meet people and generally feed my mind for as long as physically possible!

  11. #11 Rob
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    @Vikki – Now that I’m in my upper 50s, 70 sounds young. I believe you’re right about keeping your mind active. Some of the people I knew who seemed a whole lot older than they were had basically no interests other than vegging. My grandpa retired at 62 from a job where he worked very hard, and he felt he had earned the right to just sit and do nothing. He very quickly began to go down hill, and quickly saw that he needed to get a part-time job, just to keep more active.

  12. #12 Rob
    on Jan 29th, 2009 at 9:45 pm

    @Carrie – I’m probably showing my age, but it just doesn’t seem possible that you’re 37! This’ll shock your socks off – my maternal grandmother was 39 when I was born. How would you like to be grandma in just 2 more years! Maybe I helped make Grandma old before her time! 😉

  13. #13 Ann
    on Jan 30th, 2009 at 6:53 am

    On Monday, I called my “aunt” (a lady who was one of my mom’s friends) to wish her a Happy Birthday. Her age? 97!!! She sounded as chipper as always.

    One thing that I thought of in reading this is that people who are old enough to be our parents (I’m 56) lived through the Depression when they were fairly young. The men fought in World War II. Compared to those two things, we’ve had life fairly easy. We haven’t had experiences that have prematurely aged us.

    Plus many people live to advanced old age now like Aunt Elsie at 97…an age that few people ever reached when our parents were young. Another one of my mom’s friends is now 93. And I have a lot of friends who are in their 80’s and still going strong. Bev Shea will have his 100th birthday next week.

    As for feeling old if you are a member of AARP, I’ve been a member since I was 29! Every month, they would write asking me to join. Every month, I replied that I was only 29 and to write me back in 21 years. After awhile, I figure that if I couldn’t beat them, I might as well join them. I’ve never lied about my date of birth, but it has never been a problem.

    I’ve had their group car insurance since my early 30’s. When I became disabled by MS at 32, I called to change the category I was in. They said that they had no category for disabled, so they would have to list me as being retired. A year later when my policy was up for renewal, an agent called and asked about me being classified as retired. He said, “You’re too young to be retired.” When I explained about being disabled, he said that they had added a disabled category, so that’s how my policy has been listed ever since.

  14. #14 Rob
    on Jan 30th, 2009 at 9:23 am

    @Ann – You’ve made some interesting points, especially that the generation that I was talking about had come through some very hard times – the Depression and WW II. That could definitely affect your outlook and interests. Maybe the hardness of their lives helped pave the road for the way we are currently able to live.