- ivman's blague - http://blog.ivman.com -

Sleeping on the Job?

On the evening news tonight we saw a report about more and more people falling asleep at work. They said that there's an epidemic of Americans not getting sufficient sleep at night. Some "experts" are recommending not only that Americans try to get more sleep, but also that businesses give their employees a little nap break to help them with this problem. Our wellness program at the university seems to be helping many of us with issue. Anyway, this made me think of something to share with you about sleeping on the job....

The 21 best responses if you are found asleep at your desk (not to be used in class, of course)...

21. "Oh, man! I come in at 6 in the morning, and look what happens!"

20. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"

19. "You don't discriminate against those with Latient Atrophy Zymosis Yeast syndrome, do you?!?"

18. "They told me at the blood bank that this might happen."

17. "Oh, hi there. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."

16. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."

15. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Liquid Paper."

14. "I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

13. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

12. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."

11. "I'm doing the Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."

10. "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"

9. "Just pacing myself for an all-nighter here at work tonight!"

8. "I was working smarter, not harder."

7. "Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

6. "I'm in the management training program."

5. "The coffee machine is broken...."

4. "Someone must've put the decaf in the wrong pot this morning."

3. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

2. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"

1. "...and I especially thank you for my excellent boss. Amen!"

Today I received an interesting picture called "Haircut of the Year" that I thought others might enjoy seeing. Truly bizarre!

Hope you had a nice Bonza Bottler Day [1] today. Mine was just a standard day of classes, except that midterm grades were due.


"The Bible doesn't talk about rights. It talks about responsibility." - John Hutcheson

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Do you ever get tired of sleeping?