ivman's blague rotating header image loading ... please wait....

Surprise Endings

As we draw near to the end of this school year, we hope any surprise endings will be pleasant ones, academically speaking.

With that in mind, I'm posting three jokes with rather surprising endings. WARNING: You may want to be sure you are somewhere where you are free to laugh out loud, particularly when reading the third joke. You have been warned.... 🙂

OK, here goes....

My neighbor was startled by a car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn. He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair. He said with excitement, "You appear quite elderly to be driving."

"Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I'll be 97 next month, and I am old enough that I don't need a driver's license anymore."

"You don't need a driver's license anymore?!"

"That's right! The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license. I told him 'yes' and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying, 'You won't need this anymore.' So I thanked him and left!"


My granddaughter's class assignment was to interview a senior citizen about his or her life, so she asked me, "What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?"

"I'd have to say the moonwalk," I replied.

She looked disappointed and asked, "That dance was that important to you?"


A man who’d just died is delivered to a local mortuary, and he’s wearing an expensive, expertly-tailored black suit. The mortician asks the wife of the deceased how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man looks quite good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, “I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.”

The woman returns the next day, and to her delight, she finds her husband’s body dressed in a handsome blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “Whatever the cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job, and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?”

To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check. “There’s no charge,” he replies.

“No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit,” she insists.

“Honestly, ma’am,” the mortician confesses, “it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference, as long as he looked nice, so I just switched the heads.”


"God's love is not a Band-Aid promise in a cancerous world."— Aaron Young


Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Print This Post Print This Post

If you enjoyed this post, to get updates when I post to my blog, sign up for your preferred method below — RSS, Twitter, or e-mail.

Comments are closed.