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T-Shirt Slogans

My wife Becka and I have been talking about going to a Greenville Drive baseball game for a long time, but we just haven't done it. After finding out in choir practice at church Sunday afternoon that my young friend Dan was going to be singing the national anthem at Monday night's game, Becka and I talked about it half seriously in spite of being crazy busy. At the last minute Monday afternoon we decided we'd go to that game. (Such spontaneity, huh?!) Dan did a great job! (I knew he would because you know what the person who sits beside you in choir sounds like.)

There were a lot of things we enjoyed about our evening and a few things we could have lived nicely without, but all in all, it was a fun evening! One of the fun things was reading the slogans on the t-shirts people were wearing. Some of the t-shirts were among the things we could live nicely without, but some were clever and hilarious.

Here are some funny slogans from t-shirts. I also found some pictures of t-shirts online and add them to the mix.

fantasy baseball T

Volunteering: It doesn't pay

Camping is in-tents!

South Korea's got Seoul

You Have the Right to Remain Silent, So Please Shut Up!

I'd Kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

faux paw T

I'm Not Cynical - Just Experienced

Shin: A Device for Finding Furniture in the Dark

Out of My Mind - Will Be Back Shortly

If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off (on the back of a biker's t-shirt)

goodbye cruel world T

I Used to Be Schizophrenic, but We're OK Now

Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen

First National Bank of Dad - Sorry, Closed

In Dog Years, I'm Dead

Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It'll Be a Great Trade

Kenya dig it T

It's Hard to Be Nostalgic When You Can't Remember Anything

Dinner Is Ready When the Smoke Alarm Goes Off

I'm Going to Graduate on Time, No Matter How Long It Takes

Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well

Your Village Called - Their Idiot Is Missing

lousy T

No, I'm Not on Steroids, But Thanks for Asking

I Am a Bomb Technician; If You See Me Running, You Should Keep Up

For Every Action, There Is an Equal and Opposite Government Program

I Don't Suffer From Insanity - I Enjoy Every Minute of It

Missouri T

Nice Perfume - Must You Marinate In It?

I Hate Golf, I Hate Golf, I Hate Golf, NICE SHOT, I Love Golf...

Nobody Knows I'm Elvis

Those Who Live by the Sword Get Shot by Those Who Don't

outstanding T

You Have the Right to Remain Silent - Anything You Say Will Be Misquoted, Then Used Against You

Actually, I Am a Rocket Scientist!

Blessed Are They Who Can Laugh at Themselves, for They Shall Never Cease to Be Amused

My Dog Can Lick Anyone

Prague T

I Got to Vietnam Before McDonald's Did

I'd Quit This Job But I Need the Sleep

The Secret: Find an Age You Like and Stick to It!

I Am Not a Pack Rat - I Am a Collector

Today Was a Total Waste of Makeup

Wikipedia T

I'm Your Father, Not an ATM

I Got This Shirt When I Turned 40. I HATE This Shirt!

Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups

Yes, It's Lonely at the Top - But I Eat a Lot Better Than You

I Chose the Road Less Traveled - Now Where in the World Am I?

Buddah T

The Weather Is Here - Wish You Were Beautiful!

And You're Telling Me This Because...

Don't Make Me Put My Hand on My Hip

I Can Fix Anything - Where's the Duct Tape?

I'm Only Wearing Black Until They Find Something Darker

My Cat Kneads Me

dyslexia T

Dad Knows a Lot, But Grandpa Knows EVERYTHING!

I'm Dressed and Out of Bed - What More Do You Want?

You're Just Jealous Because the Little Voices Are Talking to Me

Now I Know Why Some Animals Eat Their Young!

earthquakes T

You Non-Conformists Are All Alike

If All the World's a Stage, I Want Better Lighting

Our Lady of Perpetual Mood Swings

Below is a t-shirt slogan that I wanted to display larger so that the detail is more visible.

accuracy T

I never quite know what to wear when an invitation to an event calls for "dressy casual." This t-shirt seems to be just the thing for such an occasion....

dressy casual T

Our daughter Nora loves t-shirts. Here's a picture of her and her friend Beth in front of their world view classroom map of Europe. They have t-shirts to go with the theme. (For any readers who don't know her, Nora's the one on the right.)

Nora and Beth

Have you seen any great t-shirt slogans lately? Please add a comment and tell us what you saw.


"Today we worship the earth and deny its Creator exists." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow!

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22 Comments on “T-Shirt Slogans”

  1. #1 James
    on Jul 22nd, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    Great! I like the one that says “Irony: the opposite of wrinkly.”

  2. #2 Patty
    on Jul 22nd, 2008 at 11:14 pm

    Saw this one on a guy in our home-school orchestra (in Lancaster, PA). Knowing him the way we do, it always made us chuckle: “I have imaginary friends with serious mental problems”

  3. #3 Terry E.
    on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 6:05 am

    My two favorites from the 70s are:

    Nuke the Whales!

    Stop Plate Tectonics!

  4. #4 Janet
    on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 7:21 am

    Don’t make me call my flying monkeys!

  5. #5 Laura Takacs
    on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 8:13 am

    Here’s one I saw at music camp several summers ago: I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here.

  6. #6 Sandy
    on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 9:20 am

    Here are some of the best that I’ve seen (I have them posted on my desk):

    Gray is the new blonde.
    I have many faults, but being wrong isn’t one of them.
    Careful, or you’ll end up in my novel.
    Age & treachery will always overcome youth & skill.
    If I’m talking, you should be listening.
    National Sarcasm Society–Like we need your support.

  7. #7 Rob
    on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 9:35 am

    I love it! Keep ’em comin’!!!

  8. #8 Vikki
    on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 9:49 am

    It’s not a hot flash – it’s a power surge!

  9. #9 Tom
    on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 9:52 am

    My favorite t-shirts:
    T-shirt with pocket protector on it–Not all super heroes wear tights and a cape.
    T-shirt from Glacier National Park–Real men don’t need guardrails.

  10. #10 Guillaume
    on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    I just read a new one today (on a geek products site):
    “I failed the Turing Test”

  11. #11 Laura
    on Jul 23rd, 2008 at 9:30 pm

    I’d *like* to see a shirt with:

    “The South Carolina Lottery:
    Because Public Education Has ALWAYS Been a Gamble”


  12. #12 David
    on Jul 24th, 2008 at 10:15 am

    Here is a T-shirt I got at Wal-Mart; it says “save the earth – recycle my sister” I thought it was funny.

  13. #13 Rob
    on Jul 24th, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    A former high school student from my first year of teaching (35 years ago!) sent me some of her favorite t-shirt slogans.

    * Beowulf – the original superhero
    * Bad grammar makes me [sic].
    * Similes are like metaphors.
    * Who needs rhetorical questions?
    * It’s easier to learn than to cheat in my class.
    * I’m an English teacher; you do the math.
    * I’m the grammarian about whom your mother warned you.

    Can you tell she’s an English teacher?

    Thanks, Jan! And thanks to all you others who have posted some really funny t-shirt slogans!

    Any more out there?…

  14. #14 Geof
    on Jul 25th, 2008 at 10:41 am

    Instant Human. Just Add Coffee.

  15. #15 Abby
    on Jul 25th, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    A few of my favorites are “What part of quantum theory don’t you understand?” and “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.”

  16. #16 Kristi
    on Jul 28th, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    I got this for my husband last year at Disneyland.

    “I’m Grumpy because you’re Dopey!”

    It fit his personality perfectly.

  17. #17 G. Sutton
    on Aug 15th, 2008 at 8:15 am

    from an illiterate computer user, could you please send the link about t-shirt folding? I can’t seem to capture it on my machine. Many thanks!

  18. #18 Rob
    on Aug 15th, 2008 at 8:48 am

    Geof, Abby, and Kristi, I love the ones you added! Thanks for sharing!

    G. Sutton, sorry it’s not working for you. Here’s a link I found on YouTube – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkCrAsFBB8k

  19. #19 Adam
    on Dec 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    lottery n., a tax on people who are bad at math.

  20. #20 Rob
    on Dec 8th, 2008 at 7:11 am

    @Adam – That would make a good t-shirt slogan! Thanks! It is amazing how many people are poor at math. 🙂

  21. #21 Doug
    on May 14th, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Some of my favorites:

    “I’m lost, but I’m making good time.”
    “Here I Am (now, what were your other two wishes?)”
    “I live in my own little world (but it’s okay, they like me here)”

  22. #22 Ann
    on May 29th, 2009 at 12:36 am

    Warning — Political ones:

    GO GREEN…abolish the IRS.
    OBAMA LIED…the economy died.
    I voted for a HERO…not a handout.
    Give me LIBERTY…not a bailout.