ivman's blague rotating header image loading ... please wait....

Posts Tagged ‘accidents’

Accident Reports


picture of accident report form

Filling out forms ranks right up there on the list of things people hate to do. Accident insurance claim forms can be frustrating because they ask for a brief statement about how the accident happened. Attempting brevity can lead to some curiously-phrased explanations.

We were relieved not to hear of any serious accidents involving our students or faculty returning from Christmas break. Thanks to all who prayed for their safety.

Now, on to the humorous statements from actual accident reports....

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
Click here to continue reading this post ⇒


Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

If you enjoyed this post, get updates by RSS e-mail or Twitter


Stranded!


picture of stranded man

Have you ever been stranded? You read or hear stories about people who are stranded in all sorts of situations — along a highway, in the woods, on a mountain, in a boat, in the snow, on an island, and many other scenarios. Just recently on the news there was a story of young boy who spent a night in the woods after getting lost while skiing. Once found, he was facing losing several toes from frostbite. Being stranded has been romanticized in literature and on film, but the difficulties, fear, loneliness, and necessities of life would quickly crowd out any dreamy notions.

One time in France we shared a train compartment with an American man and his child. While in Italy the father had been pickpocketed and lost all his money, their tickets, and any form of identification. He didn't speak the language and had to try to rebuild his identity and to come up with enough money to obtain food and lodging and to get themselves back to the USA. He said that beyond the frustrations of his situation was the terror of being stranded and feeling utterly helpless. We shared his horror as he recounted their experience, and I was able to share with him what would have been our Confidence in such a situation.

Today I'm posting three fictitious stories about people stranded on islands and what happened to them.
Click here to continue reading this post ⇒


Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

If you enjoyed this post, get updates by RSS e-mail or Twitter


The Blame Game


picture of hands of elderly couple
An elderly man was struck by a car as he was walking across the road. The impact to his head caused him to be comatose for two days before finally regaining consciousness. When he opened his eyes, his wife was there beside him. He held her hand and said meaningfully, "Edna, no matter what, you have always been by my side. When I was a struggling university student, I failed again and again. You were always there beside me, encouraging me to keep on trying."

Edna squeezed his hands as he continued. "When I went for all the major interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there beside me, cutting out yet more job ads for me to pursue." He continued, "Then I started to work at a little firm where I finally got to handle a big contract. I blew it because of one little mistake. And there you were, beside me. Then after being laid off for a long time, I finally got another job, but I was never promoted and my hard work was not recognized. Therefore, I've remained in the same position from the day I joined the company till now. And through it all, you've been there beside me." Her eyes brimmed with tears as she listened to her husband.

"And now I've had an accident and almost died, and when I woke up, there you were, right beside me. There's something I'd really like to say to you after all these years." Sobbing with emotion, she was ready to bask in his praise. Her husband proclaimed, "Edna, I think you really bring me bad luck!"

divider

While we might find that story humorous, it also reveals an aspect of our human nature that isn't so funny - our tendency to blame others for our failures and misdeeds. Edna's husband was blaming his poor, faithful wife for his own ineptitude and failures. We inherited our uncanny ability to shift blame from Adam and Eve. I was just reading in the book of Genesis the other day and noticed in Genesis 3:11-13 that after God asked, "Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?" Adam replied "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate." Then when God questioned Eve about this, she answered, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

We all have descended from these two people who immediately after the original sin started to blame others for what they had done. In blaming Eve for his disobedience to God's simple, clear command, Adam implied that ultimately it was God's fault since He had given him Eve. Then Eve blamed the serpent. And the blame game has been played now for millennia with no signs of going out of vogue as other fads in games come and go.

It's been fascinating to watch the blame game being played out on a national scale with our current economic debacle. Just this morning I ran across an excellent article by Chris Bixby, a former student of mine, who has explained things simply enough for even me to understand. After explaining how we got to this point, he talks about the blame game going on and draws some apt conclusions and applications. If you'd like to read his article, The Anatomy of a Bailout, click here.

I'm interested in any comments my readers might have about the current economic situation or the blame game.

quotation...

"The sins of our land are really our own sins." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

A person who can smile when things go wrong has maybe just thought of someone to blame it on.


Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

If you enjoyed this post, get updates by RSS e-mail or Twitter


World’s Thinnest Books


During our week of "forced vacation" - a gift we would not have given ourselves (we don't normally give gifts that expensive!!!) - we got some extra, much-needed rest and did some little jobs around Jim and Meg's house that they don't normally have time for. We also got in some extra reading. For those especially who don't have time to read books as long as War and Peace or the unabridged version of Les Misérables, here's a list of books that, because of their subject matter, are all *extremely* short.

WARNING - Almost anything that one could poke fun at is probably found in this list. Laugh at the things you find amusing, and skip over the rest, knowing that others may be skipping over what you've just laughed at! I have even left in some that make fun of things dear to me! 8-)

The World's Thinnest Books...

An Airhead's Advice on Logical Thinking

A Guide to Arab Democracies

A Guide to Aboriginal Etiquette

A Journey Through the Mind of a Squid

America's Most Popular Lawyers

A Millennium of German Humor

Anagrams of the Word "A"

Beauty Secrets, by Janet Reno

Bedouin Olympic Swimmers

Behave Yourself, by David Letterman

Blind Dates That Worked Out

Bob Dole: A Collection of Motivational Speeches

Burger King Items That Start with "Mc"

Career Opportunities for History Majors

Cooking Gourmet Dishes with Tofu

Countries Where Socialism Is Successful

Detroit, A Travel Guide

Easy Unix

Ethiopian Tips on World Dominance

Everything Men Know About Women

Everything Women Know About Men

Famous Italian War Heroes

Favorite Foreign Emigration Destinations of the French

French Military Victories

Good Norwegian Jokes

Household Uses for Plutonium

How I Served My Country, by Jane Fonda

How to Be a Successful Politician, by Jesse Jackson

How to Sustain a Musical Career, by Art Garfunkel

How We Helped After Katrina, by Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton

Italian War Heroes

Jewish Sports Legends

Law & Order, by Mayor Marion Barry, Washington D.C.

Marcel Marceau's Greatest Speeches

Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette

My Book of Morals, by Bill Clinton, foreword by Jesse Jackson

My Favorite Barbers, by Yassir Arafat

My Plan to Find the Real Killer, by O. J. Simpson

My Tips on Personal Hygiene, by Osama Bin Laden

National Directory of Irish AA Members

Olympic Athletes Who Think Sports Are Really Stupid

Spotted Owl Recipes, by the EPA

One-Legged Folk Dances

On Human Rights, by Fidel Castro

Proper Pronunciation and Elocution, by George W. Bush and Arnold Schwarzenegger

Proud Parents of Rock Musicians

Public Political Activities During Franco's Government in Spain

Scottish World Cup Successes

Staple Your Way to Success

Successful Applications of Artificial Intelligence

Sylvester Stallone's Dramatic Acting Tips

The Amish Phone Book

The Best Recipes from England

The Engineer's Guide to Fashion

The Genius of Barry Manilow

The Road to Lasting Economic Success, by Boris Yeltsin

Things I Can't Afford, by Bill Gates

Things I Like about Road Construction, by Rob "ivman" Loach

Things We Know To Be True, by Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and John Kerry

Things I Love About Bill, by Hillary Clinton

Things We Love About the USA, by Jane Fonda and Cindy Sheehan. Illustrated by Michael Moore

Things I Would Not Do for Money, by Dennis Rodman

Things That Look Like an Apple, Taste Like an Apple, But Are Not an Apple

Things You Could Buy at the World Artichoke Festival

Vice Presidents with Really Good Ideas

Ways I Have Avoided Scandal, by Bill Clinton

Ways I Effectively Modulate My Vocal Tone, by Hillary Clinton

Why People Are More Important Than Animals, by Greenpeace

divider

For those interested in an update after our accident...

After getting our car back late in the morning yesterday (Friday the 13th), Becka and I drove back home to Greenville, arriving at about 12:20 this morning.

We really appreciated the cheerfulness and the help of the guys in the body shop at Dorian Ford in Clinton Twp, MI, as they repaired all the damage done under our car by the concrete in the road. My main contact person there was Allen Vukmirovich, the body shop foreman - a really nice guy who worked hard in our behalf. Thanks, Allen! (His picture is below.)

Allen V. - the body shop foreman

We thoroughly enjoyed our time with Megan, Jim, and Drew, and we miss them already. But, as always, it is nice to be back home. We were surprised when we figured it up that we have been able to spend three whole weeks this summer with Megan and her family!

Our 700-mile "test drive" of our repaired car went well, except for a couple of traffic jams that added a total of an hour to our trip. (A tip for anyone considering a drive south on I-75 through Lexington, KY - plan some delay into your trip. Because of road destruction, three lanes are narrowed to two lanes between mile markers 111 and 109, right about where I 64 goes off to the east. The 5-mile traffic back up began at mile marker 116.) Fortunately we had just stopped for gas and dinner a couple of miles before that.

We spent so much time simply enjoying our grandson Drew, that we suddenly realized that we had taken hardly any pictures! We snapped off some desperate, last-minute pictures before leaving. Here are several:

Drew is almost as long as this section of the Pack 'n Play now!

Drew is almost as long as this section of the Pack 'n Play now!

We tried to get some smiles out of him as we said goodbye outside ... finally with success!

Come on, Peanut, smile for us!

Grandma's really working on it

We miss his smile already!

We miss that little smile very much already!

quotation...

"We make choices, but God is in control the whole time." - Dr. Bob Payne

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?


Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

If you enjoyed this post, get updates by RSS e-mail or Twitter


Funny Place Names


If you saw this post before I added this comment, I've edited the list of funny town names below. Readers commented that there were entire states missing from my list. I did an online search and found an exhaustive (exhausting?) list of funny US towns. The list below now reflects that search, plus additions suggested by readers. If your state is missing or if you know of other funny place names, feel free to click on the comments link at the end of this post.

Many have inquired how we are doing after last Wednesday - we're just fine. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, see the last blog post.) If we've got to be stranded somewhere, how could we go wrong being here?! 8-) We're enjoying extra time with Megan, Jim, and our grandson Drew, and if they're tired of us, they're too gracious to hint that they are. They say our car repairs should be done by the end of the week. It's a little unsettling to think they're going to hand us the car with thousands of dollars worth of repairs done underneath and we're going to begin a 700 mile trip home! Please pray that the repairs will indeed by completed satisfactorily this week. We have jobs back home, and our time off this week is without pay since we've used up our paid personal time.

We were finally able to pull some pictures off Megan's camera, and so I'm putting several below. I told you how intently little Drew watched the fireworks Wednesday evening. Here's how he looked for a solid half hour....

Drew looking intently at the fireworks

Megan was able to take a picture of Becka while they waited in the ambulance for all the formalities to get settled outside. You can see in the picture in Drew's car seat the little yellow fireman's hat and bear the firemen gave him.

my wife Becka in the ambulance

We really enjoyed our evening with the members of the 1982 class of Inter-City Baptist High School who were able to be present at their reunion. It was great to see them again and to get reacquainted after 25 years! It was a great evening of laughing, reminiscing, and praising the Lord for His goodness in our lives. Several tried to get me to believe that I look just the same! I used one of my favorite Dr. Guenter Salter lines on them - "So do you mean to tell me I looked this old back then?!" They would then moderate their comments by saying, "only a little lighter on top." (I hope that was a reference to hair color!) Several recoiled when I said something about their being "middle aged" now. It made me think of a blog post from last summer called "middle age" for those who'd like to read it. Below is a picture of most of those who were in attendance....

the class of 1982

We have seen and heard some pretty interesting names of people and places during our time in the Detroit area. This area is truly diverse in its ethnic background. I remembered a list I had of funny place names that I thought I'd share with you today.

Funny Place Names

After you read the list below you might wonder with me HOW they ever came up with some of these amusing, crazy-sounding names for these towns and villages!

United States by state

Alabama:
Dollar, AL
Pig Eye, AL
Rash, AL
Sardine, AL
Section, AL
Shorter, AL
Smut Eye, AL
Zip City, AL

Alaska:
Candle, AK
Dead Horse, AK
Mary's Igloo, AK

Arizona:
Grasshopper Junction, AZ
Monkey's Eyebrow,AZ
Organ Pipe, AZ
Santa Claus, AZ
Why, AZ

Arkansas:
Alf, AR
Ben Hur, AR
Grape, AR
Hog Wallow, AR
Ozone, AR (Hey, I thought Clinton and not Gore was from Arkansas!)
Possum Grape, AR
Toad Suck, AR
Tomato, AR
Turkey Scratch, AR
Y-City, AR

California:
Burnt Ranch, CA
Confidence, CA
Cool, CA
Likely, CA
Prunedale, CA
Raisin, CA
Skidoo, CA
Thermal, CA
Weed, CA

Colorado:
Bountiful, CO
Empire, CO
Hygiene, CO
No Name, CO
Nowhere, CO
Paradox, CO
Tincup CO

Connecticut:
Giants Neck, CT

Delaware:
Bear, DE
Blades, DE
Hourglass, DE

Florida:
Briny Breezes, FL
Bunker Donation, FL
Celebration, FL
Christmas, FL
Couch, FL
Day, FL
Elfers, FL
Frostproof, FL
Panacea,FL
Picnic, FL
Possum Bluff, FL
Sopchoppy, FL
Spuds, FL
Tobacco Patch Landing, FL
Two Egg, FL
Wacahoota, FL
Yeehaw Junction, FL

Georgia:
Alley, GA
Arabic, GA
Benevolence, GA
Doctortown, GA
Enigma, GA
Experiment, GA
Flintstone, GA
Hephzibah, GA
Homerville, GA
Ideal, GA
Magnet, GA
Mayday, GA
New Georgia, GA
Snap Finger, GA

Hawaii:
Papa, HI

Idaho:
Beaver Head, ID
Butte City, ID

Illinois:
Energy, IL
Goofy Ridge, IL
Grand Detour, IL
Kickapoo, IL
Normal, IL
Oblong, IL (Hence that old classic headline “Normal Boy Marries Oblong Girl.”

Indiana:
Alert, IN
Bacon, IN
Beanblossom, IN
Beehunter, IN
Birds Eye, IN
Buddha, IN
Carefree, IN
Fickle, IN
Santa Claus, IN
Solitude, IN
Steam Corner, IN
Toad Hop, IN

Iowa:
Beebeetown, IA
Tingley, IA
What Cheer, IA

Kansas:
Agenda, KS
Buttermilk, KS
Gas, KS
Liberal, KS
Moonlight, KS
Neutral, KS
Protection, KS
Skiddy, KS
Smileyberg, KS

Kentucky:
Acorn, KY
Asphalt, KY
Awe, KY
Beauty, KY
Cut Shin, KY
Decoy, KY
Dukedom, KY
Dwarf, KY
Grannie, KY
Hazard, KY
Hippo, KY
Jetson, KY
Krypton, KY
Lovely, KY
Moon, KY
Mummie, KY
Mud Lick, KY
Oddville, KY
Ono, KY
Ordinary, KY
Parrot, KY
PeeWee Valley, KY
Pyramid, KY
Quicksand, KY
Ready, KY
Redhouse, KY
Relief, KY
Select, KY
Shoulderblade, KY
Slusher, KY
Turkey, KY
Viper, KY
Vortex, KY
Wax, KY

Louisiana:
Aimwell, LA
Cutoff, LA
Goober Hill, LA
Kickapoo, LA
Plain Dealing, LA
Slaughter, LA
Trout, LA
Vixen, LA
Waterproof, LA

Maine: (see a sign with some place names)
Mount Desert Island, ME
Strong, ME

Maryland:
Boring, MD
California, MD
Hale, Maryland
Point of Rocks, MD
Scaggsville, MD

Massachussetts:
Belchertown, MA
Cummaquid, MA
Mashpee, MA
Sandwich, MA

Michigan:
Christmas, MI
Climax, MI
Hell, MI
Lake, MI
Nirvanna, MI
Paradise, MI
Saline, MI

Minnesota:
Blue Earth, MN
Bowstring
Credit River, MN
Embarrass (one of the coldest spots in Minnesota)
Frost
Gully
Montevideo (pronounced with the "video" just like a video tape)
Motley
Savage
Sleepy Eye (Little House on the Prairie location)
Twig

Mississippi:
Arm, MS
Bobo, MS
Chickenbone, MS
Chunky, MS
Doglap, MS
Grin, MS
Hot Coffee, MS
Money, MS
Petal, MS
Screwdriver, MS
Swampbottom, MS
Sweatman, MS

Missouri:
Bland, MO
Clever, MO
Competition, MO
Dissen, MO
Elmo, MO
Enough, MO
Fairdealing, MO
Gipsy, MO
Grubville, MO
Gumbo, MO
Moody, MO
Novelty, MO
Peculiar, MO
Pumpkin Center, MO
Service, MO
Shook, MO
Skidmore, MO
Success, MO
Tightwad, MO

Montana:
Hungry Horse, MT
Moose Town, MT
Opportunity, MT
Pappa's Place, MT
Power, MT
Stump Town, MT

Nebraska:
Magnet, NE

Nevada:
Carp, NV
Pahrump, Nevada
Searchlight, NV

New Jersey:
Ho-ho-kus, NJ
Hopatcong, NJ
Piscataway, NJ

New Mexico:
Flying H, NM
Organ, NM
Truth Or Consequences, NM
Sunspot, NM
Toadlena, NM
Weed, NM

New York:
Bath, NY
Chili, NY
Fishkill, NY
Flushing, NY
Horseheads, NY
Mooers, NY
Triangle, NY

North Carolina:
Bandana, NC
Cooleemee, NC
Frying Pan Landing, NC
Kill Devil Hills, NC
Tomahawk, NC
Tuxedo, NC
Welcome, NC
Whynot, NC

North Dakota:
Beach, ND
Can Do, ND
Mott, ND
Hoople, ND
Horace, ND
Max, ND
Ray, ND
Napolean, ND
Zap, ND

Ohio:
Burgoon, OH
Businessburg, OH
Clyde, OH
Coolville, OH
Defiance, OH
Jelloway, OH
Knockemstiff, OH
Pepper Pike, OH
Poland, OH
Put-in-Bay, OH
Rising Sun, OH

Oklahoma:
Bowlegs, OK
Kremlin, OK
Loco, OK
Happyland, OK
Okay, OK
Slapout, OK
Straight, OK

Oregon:
Aloha, OR
Boring, OR
Drain, OR
Half.com, OR
Idiotville, OR
Riddle, OR

Pennsylvania:
Bird-in-Hand, PA
Buck, PA
Burnt Cabins, PA
Economy, PA
Export, PA
Flourtown, PA
Honey, PA
Jugtown, PA
King of Prussia, PA
Laboratory, PA
Lawn, PA
Library, PA
Lover, PA
Manda Gap, PA
Paint, PA
Peach, PA
Plum, PA
Railroad, PA
Scalp Level, PA
Slippery Rock, PA
Snow Shoe, PA
Spry, PA
Squirrel Hill, PA
Stalker, PA
Stiltz, PA
Burning Well, PA

South Carolina:
Ninety-Six, SC
North, SC
Prosperity, SC

South Dakota:
Bonesteel, SD
Box Elder, SD
Crooks, SD
Eaglebutte, SD
Gopher, SD
Mud Butte, SD
Pukwana, SD
Roscoe, SD
Tea, SD

Tennessee:
Bugscuffle, TN
Bugtussle, TN
Defeated, TN
Difficult, TN
Disco, TN
Flippin, TN
Only, TN
Skullbone, TN
Smartt, TN
Soddy-Daisy, TN
Static, TN

Texas:
Ben Franklin, TX
Best, TX
Bigfoot, TX
Blanket, TX
Boston, TX
Bushland, TX
Camelot, TX
Canadian, TX
Cee Vee, TX
China Grove, TX
China Grove, TX (yes, two of 'em)
Chocolate Bayou, TX
Cost, TX
Cut and Shoot, TX
Dripping Springs, TX
Earth, TX
Egypt, TX
Fink, TX
Flat, TX
Friendship, TX
Grow, TX
Gun Barrel City, TX
Happy, TX
Honey Island, TX
Hoop and Holler, TX
Lawn, TX
Lazbuddie, TX
Moss Hill, TX
Muleshoe, TX
Nacogdoches, TX
Needmore, TX
Needville, TX
New Boston, TX
Noodle, TX
Notrees, TX
Oatmeal, TX
Old Boston, TX (yep, Boston, New Boston, and Old Boston, TX!)
Old Glory, TX
Pep, TX
Petty, TX
Progress, TX
Quail, TX
RingGold, TX
Rosebud, TX
Royalty, TX
Schertz, TX
Study Butte, TX
Telegraph, TX
Tigertown, TX
Tiki Island, TX
Turkey, TX
Tuxedo, TX
Valentine, TX
Veribest, TX (not to be confused with Best, TX)
Zunkerville, TX

Utah:
Bullfrog, UT
Hurricane, UT
Orderville, UT

Vermont:
Bread Loaf, VT
Mosquitoville, VT
Notown, VT

Virginia:
Bane, VA
Clam, VA
Disputanta, VA
Fourway, VA (2 of them)
Frogtown, VA
Goochland, VA
Moonlight, VA (2 of them also)
Pocket, VA
Short Pump, VA
Simplicity, VA

Washington:
Aloha, WA
George, WA
Index, WA
La Push, WA
Medical Lake, WA
Onion Creek, WA
Pysht, WA
Ritzville, WA
Ruff Starbuck, WA
Tiger, WA
Walla Walla, WA
Zillah, WA

West Virginia:
Acme, WV
Alloy, WV
Big Ugly, WV
Big Ugly Creek, WV
Canvas, WV
Friendly, WV
Frost, WV
HooHoo, WV
Kermit, WV
Left Hand, WV
Looneyville, WV
Mammoth, WV
Man, WV
Muddlety, WV
Nitro, WV
Odd, WV
Pinch, WV
Quick, WV
Replete, WV
Shanghai, WV
Sod, WV
Tornado, WV

Wisconsin:
Beetown, WI
Chili, WI
Coon Valley, WI
Cornucopia, WI
Cream, WI
Egg Harbor, WI
Embarrass, WI
Footville, WI
Hustler, WI
Oshkosh, WI
Rising Sun, WI
Spread Eagle, WI
Tell, WI
Ubet, WI
Victory, WI
Village of Superior, WI

Wyoming:
Bairoil, WY
Jackson Hole, WY

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Anglesy, Wales is an interesting place name, or perhaps better yet is a town in New Zealand that boasts the longest place name in the world - Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu (85 characters long!)

Here's a picture I found online of a sign with the town's name...

longest recognized town name in the world - located in New Zealand

quotation...

"If there's nothing about our lives that shows the imprint of God, then He doesn't get the glory." - Dr. Drew Conley

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

The optimist is often as wrong as the pessimist, but he is much happier.


Print This Post Print This Post
E-mail this post to a friend
Share this post on Facebook

If you enjoyed this post, get updates by RSS e-mail or Twitter



Page 1 of 212