Posts Tagged ‘aging’

What are your thoughts about turning 30? If you haven't yet, you're probably thinking that it will really be saying goodbye to youth. If you have already turned 30, you may have other thoughts, depending on how long ago it was. As the vintage Ivory ad on the right is saying, birthday candles are nothing to fear. Nora, the second of our three children, turns 30 today. Our son Mark will do so in two and a half years. This can mean only one thing — our children are getting older.

While I'm thinking about being young and being old, I decided to post some humor on the subject. Ya gotta laugh at this aspect of life ... if not, you might cry. Anyway, here goes.

While spending the weekend with her grandmother, the granddaughter said, "My teacher told us that a little girl can grow up to be anything she wants to be.... Grandma, why did you decide to be an old lady?"

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."

"Look in your underwear, Grandpa! ," he advised. "Mine says I'm four."
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Let's see the hands of all of you out there who want to live in a nursing home! I don't imagine I would see many raised on that one. And that's not surprising. Many people do not even like to visit someone in a nursing home. Living in a nursing home is something that most people dread and hope will never happen to them. But it has become a reality for many and is often their best and only option.

It may have slipped by some of us that this past week — May 9 - 15 — was National Nursing Home Week. My mom lives in a nursing home in Bowling Green, Ohio. It's a very well run facility with very nice staff, and she's happy and safe there. It's really her only option with some of her present special needs.

When we go on trips, we usually stay with family. When we do stay in hotels, which is rare, we thoroughly enjoy some of the amenities there that we don't have at home. As nice and well run as nursing homes and hotels are, though, we prefer living in our home. Thoughts of nursing homes and hotels reminded me of something I've had in my files for a long time.

No Nursing Home for Me!

With the average cost for a nursing home reaching $209.00 per day (in 2008), there is a better way to spend our savings, when we get old and feeble. Someone has already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and a senior discount. It comes to only $70.23 per night.

That leaves you $138.77 a day for the following, most of which is already free:
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I heard on the news the other evening that the Boy Scouts of America will soon be celebrating its 100th anniversary. I looked online to find out the exact anniversary date and learned that the BSA was founded February 8, 1910, by Chicago publisher William D. Boyce after discovering scouting during a visit to England the previous year. If you are interested in learning about scouting, there is a lot of information on Wikipedia. There I found this neat old poster done for the 50th anniversary of the BSA:

Ideas for my blog posts are frequently the result of the collision of several ideas in my head. Today's is one of those. Last week I received a joke that made me laugh out loud and I knew I wanted to share it soon. Also last week I was "friended" on Facebook by a guy I was close to in junior high school. We both sang alto in the school choir and enjoyed camping. His family moved away at the end of junior high, we did not keep in touch, and this is the first I've heard from him in almost 40 years. Thoughts of a bunch of old scouts celebrating the anniversary of BSA, reconnecting with John on Facebook, and the joke I received made me think of the theme of old friends. Here's the joke I received:
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I never thought I'd be a "swinger" in my old age. But this past weekend, I was a swinger, of sorts. As I related in my last post, my son and I joined over 100 other men from our church to go to the Wilds for a men's retreat. It was a wonderful weekend, in spite of the rain. The messages we heard from Dr. Dick Stratton were super and the fellowship was great. Because of the rain and mud, Mark and I weren't really tempted to do the hike to the second falls, opting to play some indoor games instead.

In the afternoon, however, we enjoyed some outdoor activities in some light drizzle. We started off with the Land Trolley, then the Giant Swing, then 18 holes of miniature golf before heading inside for some Foosball and air hockey. Shortly after we went inside, the drizzle became the torrents that continued the rest of our time there and on our drive home after dinner.

Here are several pictures of us doing the Giant Swing. We were "suited up" first.
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Today's Google homepage picture reminded me that today is the 40th anniversary of the lunar landing, the summer of 1969. That was the summer before my freshman year of college — yes, my 40th high school reunion is later this summer! And I'm not going to be able to attend. Most of us alive at the time the first men walked on the moon can easily remember where we were, in front of a TV watching the historic event. I was working at Boes' Pizza in downtown Fostoria, Ohio, and business was extremely slow that evening! Almost everyone was glued to a TV, and fortunately my boss had brought a television to the pizza shop so that I could watch it too. Thanks, Ronnie, if you ever read this.

You "oldsters" might enjoy taking the quiz below as a trip down nostalgia (nausea?) lane, and you "young things" might have a hard time answering some of the questions correctly and learn a few things in the process. I got 18 out of 20 right. YIKES!

At the end of this post, I will tell you about my interview yesterday on WYFF channel 4's Spotlight Blog and embed the two video segments that aired live. Those of you who have never met me now have a chance get to know me a little.

Before the quiz, you older readers might enjoy this bit of humor from our childhood. You younger readers can ask one of us to explain it to you.

Geezer Qualifying Quiz

(Everyone over 50 should have a pretty easy time with this quiz. If you are under 50, you can claim a handicap.)

Select one answer for each question. No fair answering wrong if you know the right answer, and no fair looking at the answers below until you've answered all the questions!

1. In the 1940's, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located?
a. On the floor shift knob
b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch
c. Next to the horn

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it used?
a. Capture lightning bugs
b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
c. Large salt shaker

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?
a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk
b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
c. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?
a. Blackjack
b. Gin
c. Lotto

5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when none were available due to rationing during W.W.II?
a. Suntan
b. Leg painting
c. Wearing slacks

6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?
a. Studebaker
b. Nash Metro
c. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
a. Strips of dried peanut butter
b. Chocolate licorice bars
c. Coke bottle shaped wax with colored sugar water inside

8. How was Butch wax used?
a. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up
b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust

9. Before in-line skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?
a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key
b. Woven straps that crossed the foot
c. Long pieces of twine

10. When you were a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?
a. Consider all the facts
b. Ask Mom
c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo

11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940's?
a. Smallpox
b. AIDS
c. Polio

12. "I'll be down to get you in a/an ________, Honey"
a. SUV
b. Taxi
c. Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony?
a. Old Blue
b. Paint
c. Macaroni

14. What was Duck-and-Cover?
a. Part of the game of hide and seek
b. What you did when your mom called you in to do chores
c. Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?
a. Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring
b. Princess Sacajewea
c. Princess Moonshadow

16. What did all the really savvy students do when tests printed on a spirit duplicator were handed out in school?
a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you high
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
c. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid your failure

17. Why did your mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?
a. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs,which tasted like bubble gum
b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items
c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos

18. Finish this sentence: Praise the Lord, and pass the _________.
a. Meatballs
b. Dames
c. Ammunition

19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song "Cabdriver" a hit?
a. The Ink Spots
b. The Supremes
c. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco?
a. Tony Bennett
b. Xavier Cugat
c. George Gershwin

(Scroll down for answers, only after giving it your best shot....)

ANSWERS:
1. b) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the late '60s to catch on.

2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top.

4. a) Blackjack Gum.

5. b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

6. a) 1946 Studebaker.

7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

8. a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.

10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. c) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease.

12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half past eight!

13. c) Macaroni.

14. c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. a) Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring. She was another puppet.

16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.

17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.

18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

19. a) The all male, all black group: The Ink spots.

20. a) Tony Bennett, and some say he sounds just as good today.

SCORING:
17- 20 correct: Not only are you older than dirt, but obviously gifted with mind bloat. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely a Geezer!
12 -16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but your mind is definitely muddy.
0 -11 correct: You are either a poor excuse for a old geezer or you are younger than springtime!

Well, how did you do? In the comments, give your age and your score.

Now about my interview yesterday on WYFF channel 4's Spotlight Blog feature of Sound Off South. Though I think the interview went fine yesterday, I'm much more comfortable in my classroom or at this keyboard. Kelly Coakley and Keisha Kirkland were genuinely nice people, and it was interesting to watch an entire hour long newscast. Here's a picture I took with my cell phone of the two of them right before they went live.

Here are the two three-minute segments, one during the first half hour and the other during the second half hour of the morning newscast.

First segment:

Second segment:

quotations about travel to the moon...

"Men might as well project a voyage to the moon as attempt to employ steam navigation against the stormy North Atlantic Ocean." - Dr. Dionysus Lardner, Professor of Natural Philosophy and Astronomy, University College, London, 1838

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances." -Dr. Lee De Forest, inventor of the vacuum tube and father of television

Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get all excited about. We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon. - Russell Beland, from a Washington Post contest, in which readers were asked to tell Gen-Xers how much harder they had it in the "good old days"

=^..^= =^..^=
Rob

"For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out." an anonymous six year old

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